Barry took a girl out on her first date

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1. On a first date, a guy escorts a girl home and asksOn a first date, a guy escorts a girl home and asks: Guy: Can I come up for a cup of coffee? Girl: Actually, I never invite guys over on a first date. The guy thinks for a minute and says: Well, what about the last date?...
2. The wealthy, high-society mother of a 17-year-old girlThe wealthy, high-society mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex. Worried the girl might become pregnant, and adversely impact the family’s status, she consulted the family doctor. The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful, and any attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. ... Читать далее...
3. A little nine year old girl was in church with her motherA little nine year old girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill. «Mommy,» she said. «Can we leave now?» «No,» her mother replied. «Well, I think I have to throw up!» «Then go out the front door and to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush.» ... Читать далее...
4. A girl from Texas and a girl from New York were seatedA girl from Texas and a girl from New York were seated side by side on an airplane. The girl from Texas, being friendly and all, said: «So, where y’all from?» The New York girl said, «From a place where they know better than to use a preposition at the end of a sentence.» The ... Читать далее...
5. One day a little girl was sitting and watching her motherOne day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette hair. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, «Why are some of your hairs white, Mom? Her ... Читать далее...
6. GIRL’S CONFESSIONGIRL’S CONFESSION The priest leaned closer to hear the girl’s confession. «So me and my cousin were alone in the house,» she continued, «and went up to my bedroom…» «Go on, my child,» said the priest gently. «I lay down on the bed and Joe got on top of me and put his hand on ... Читать далее...
7. Sarah was a curious thirteen year old girlSarah was a curious thirteen year old girl. «Mommy,» she said, «I’d like you to answer one question.» «Very good,» replied her mother, «I was wondering when you would become curious about birds, flowers and bees.» «It’s not that,» said the girl. «I know all about screwing. What I would like to know is how ... Читать далее...
8. Перевод идиомы up-to-date / up to date, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: up-to-date / up to date Перевод: современный, отвечающий последним требованиям Пример: The kitchen in our apartment is not up-to-date at all. Кухня в нашей квартире совсем не современная....
9. The young playboy took a blind date to anThe young playboy took a blind date to an amusement park. They went for a ride on the Ferris wheel. The ride completed, she seemed rather bored. «What would you like to do next?» he asked. «I wanna be weighed,» she said. So the young man took her over to the weight guesser. «One-twelve,» said ... Читать далее...
10. A little girl came running into the house cryingA little girl came running into the house crying and miserable from a small cut she just received. She asked her mom for a glass of cider. «Why do you want cider?» asked Mom. «To take the pain away,» sobbed the little girl. Tired of all the tears, Mom poured her a glass. The little ... Читать далее...
11. The young playboy took a blind date to an amusement parkThe young playboy took a blind date to an amusement park. They went for a ride on the Ferris wheel. The ride completed, she seemed rather bored. «What would you like to do next?» he asked. «I wanna be weighed,» she said. So the young man took her over to the weight guessed. «One-twelve,» said ... Читать далее...
12. Subjects for a dateA boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice. The father replies: «My son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, family, and philosophy.» The boy picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain. ... Читать далее...
13. A fellow picked up a girl in a bar and took her home with himA fellow picked up a girl in a bar and took her home with him. After some preliminary drinks and talk, they got undressed, climbed into bed and generally got organized for a leg over. After a few minutes, the girl started laughing. The fellow asked her what she found so amusing. «Your organ,» she ... Читать далее...
14. A little girl was playing up a tree near a churchA little girl was playing up a tree near a church. The priest was taking a walk when he happened to look up the tree and saw the little girl. She had no panties on. He called her down and gave her money to buy a pair of panties. The girl was so happy and ... Читать далее...
15. At a grocery storeA man observed a woman in the grocery store with a three year old girl in her basket. As they passed the cookie section, the little girl asked for cookies and her mother told her, «No.» The little girl immediately began to whine and fuss, and the mother said quietly, «Now Monica, we just have ... Читать далее...
16. Перевод слова dateDate — дата; свидание Перевод слова Delivery date — дата поставки the date of youth — юные годы, пора молодости date of birth — дата рождения to make a date with smb. — назначить свидание с кем-л. Is he still Dating Sarah? Он по прежнему встречается с Сарой? She has a hot Date with Michel. ... Читать далее...
17. A little girl was out with her GrandmotherA little girl was out with her Grandmother when they came across a couple of dogs mating on the sidewalk. «What are they doing, Grandma?» asked the little girl. The grandmother was embarrased, so she said, «The dog on top has hurt his paw, and the one underneath is carrying him to the doctor.» They’re ... Читать далее...
18. Перевод слова up-to-dateUp-to-date — современный, новейший Перевод слова Up-to-date maps — карты, показывающие современные границы, города и т. п. up-to-date model — новейшая модель to bring a report up-to-date — включить в доклад самые последние сведения The survey is patchy and by no means not as Up-to-date as one expects. Обзор отрывочный и, без сомнения, не такой ... Читать далее...
19. Значение идиомы to date[to date] {adv.} or {adj. phr.} Up to the present time; until now. To date twenty students have been accepted into the school. Thepolice have not found the runaway to date. Jim is shoveling snowto earn money, but his earnings to date are small. Syn.: SO FAR....
20. Judy arrived home from her dateJudy arrived home from her date, tossed her coat over a chair, her handbag over the banister, she threw her clothes around the bedroom without care. The next morning at breakfast, her mother asked her if she had a good time? «Oh», sighed Judy, «I had a wonderful time.» «I thought as much», her mother ... Читать далее...
21. Little girl walks into the bathroomA little girl walks into the bathroom and sees her older sister just come out of the shower. The young girl looks at her sisters pussy and asks «What’s that?» Her sister replies «That is my possum, sis!» The young girl replies «Oh, OK» The next day she sees her mother get out of the ... Читать далее...
22. One day a guy and a girl were making out in the guy’s carOne day a guy and a girl were making out in the guy’s car in the girl’s driveway. They began to get pretty hot and heavy when the guy reached into his pants and placed his cock in her hand. She froze, jumped up and said, «I’ve got two words for you, DROP DEAD!» Then ... Читать далее...
23. A little girl was walking along a beach in CaliforniaA little girl was walking along a beach in California when she came across a man with no clothes on and just a newspaper covering his genitals. The little girl said, «What do you have under that newspaper, Mister?» The man said, «Nothing, it’s just a bird, now go away!» The man thought nothing of ... Читать далее...
24. A little girl was talking to her teacher about whalesA little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a ... Читать далее...
25. A middle-aged guy and his date are making out hot and heavyA middle-aged guy and his date are making out hot and heavy in the movies when his toupee slides off. As he’s groping around for it, his hand goes between her legs, up under her skirt, and lands on her twat. She says, «That’s it! That’s it!» He says, «It can’t be. I part mine ... Читать далее...
26. The new hooker had just finished her first trickThe new hooker had just finished her first trick. When she came back down to the street, the seasoned veterans all gathered around to hear the details. She said, «Well, he was a big, muscular and handsome marine.» «Well? What did he want to do?» they all asked. She said, «I told him that a ... Читать далее...
27. When I was in jr. high, all I wanted was a girl with big breastsIn high school, I dated a girl with big breasts, but there was no passion.. So I decided I needed a passionate girl.. In college, I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional.. Everything was an emergency, she cried all the time. So I decided I needed a girl with some stability.. I ... Читать далее...
28. A bowlegged manA woman was out shopping and her son was with her. They boy spotted a man who was bowlegged. The boy pulled on Mom’s hand and said, » Momma, look at the bowlegged man.» Mom was mortified and told her son that it was not polite to point to a person and make that sort ... Читать далее...
29. Значение идиомы blind date[blind date] {n.} An engagement or date arranged by friends for people who have not previously known one another. A blind date can be a huge success, or a big disappointment....
30. A poor little girl was begging in the streetA poor little girl was begging in the street. A man passed by and the girl mumbled, «Please, sir, give me some money for a fix.» The man answers, astonished, «Good heavens! But, how old are you, little girl?» «I’m eight, sir.» «Oh, my God, and how long have you been into drugs?» «Since I ... Читать далее...
31. Значение идиомы pull date[pull date] {n.}, {informal} The date stamped on baked goods, dairyproducts, or other perishable foods indicating the last day on whichthey may be sold before they must be removed from the shelves in aretail store. This pie is way past the pull date — small wonderit’s rotten....
32. A little girl and a little boy were at day careA little girl and a little boy were at day care one day. The girl approaches the boy and says, «Hey Tommy, wanna play house?» He says, «Sure! What do you want me to do?» The girl replies, «I want you to communicate your thoughts.» «Communicate my thoughts?» said a bewildered Tommy. «I have no ... Читать далее...
33. Перевод слова girlGirl — девочка, девушка Перевод слова Cool girl — клевая, классная девчонка eleven-year-old girl — одиннадцатилетняя девочка lovely girl — красивая девушка She is my best Girl. Она — моя возлюбленная. We had a little Girl. У нас была маленькая дочка. That Girl’s got class! Классная девчонка! Интересные факты Spice Girls — британская женская поп-группа, ... Читать далее...
34. A little girl goes into the toilet and sees her dad having a showerA little girl goes into the toilet and sees her dad having a shower. It’s at that moment she spots his penis. Pointing at it she says….. «Daddy, daddy, when will I get one of those?» The dad looks at the little girl, looks out the door, looks back at the little girl and winks…. ... Читать далее...
35. Значение идиомы girl friend[girl friend] {n.}, {informal} 1. A female friend or companion. Jane is spending the night at her girlfriend’s house. 2. A boy’ssteady girl; the girl or woman partner in a love affair; girl;sweetheart. John is taking his girl friend to the dance. Contrast:BOYFRIEND....
36. Значение идиомы out of date[out of date] {adj. phr.} Old fashioned; superseded; no longervalid; too old to be used. Father’s suit is out of date; he needs anew one. The news magazines in the doctor’s office were all out ofdate....
37. Micromanaging the StaffBarry: Where are you going? Jane: I’m Checking up on Rudy. I gave him a Task an hour ago and I want to make sure he’s doing it right. Barry: You’re not Micromanaging again, are you? Jane: Of course, not. I’m only going To observe his work and make sure that he’s following the detailed ... Читать далее...
38. A little boy squirrel and a little girl squirrelA little boy squirrel and a little girl squirrel were chattering and playing around when up comes a fox. The girl squirrel dashed up a tree, but the boy squirrel stayed on the ground. «That’s strange,» said the fox. «Usually squirrels are afraid of me and run to the nearest tree.» «Listen, bud,» replied the ... Читать далее...
39. Значение идиомы cross one’s mind[cross one’s mind] or [pass through one’s mind] {v. phr.} To be a sudden or passing thought; be thought of by someone; come to your mind; occur to you. At first Bob was puzzled by Virginia’s waving, but then it crossed his mind that she was trying to tell him something. When Jane did not ... Читать далее...
40. A girl called the police department and reported thatA girl called the police department and reported that she had been assaulted. The officer who answered the phone, asked, «When did this happen?» She replied, «Last week.» The police then asked, «Why did you wait until now to report it?» Well,» she said. «I didn’t know that I was assaulted until the check bounced.»...