A middle-aged guy and his date are making out hot and heavy

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1. A middle-aged man recieves a brazillian parrot A middle-aged man recieves a brazillian parrot for his birthday. The only problem with this parrot is its attitude due to the influence of its former owner, who is now a deceased truck driver. The parrot loves to swear up and down at everything it sees. One day the man comes home with a gorgeous […]...
2. A middle aged man and woman fall in love, and decide to get married A middle aged man and woman fall in love, and decide to get married. On their wedding night they settle into the bridal suite and the bride says to her new groom, “Please be gentle… I am still a virgin.” The startled groom says “How can that be? You’ve been married twice…” The bride responds… […]...
3. Перевод слова aged Aged – пожилой, старый, престарелый Перевод слова Middle-aged man – человек среднего возраста aged population – престарелые a boy aged fifteen – мальчик пятнадцати лет A woman Aged 50 has given birth to twins. Женщина в возрасте 50 лет родила двойню. His hair whitened as he Aged. Его волосы побелели, как он постарел. There is […]...
4. Перевод слова middle Middle – середина Перевод слова In the middle of – посреди, посередине middle-aged man – человек среднего возраста the middle orders – средние слои общества I’m in the Middle of writing a letter. Я как раз сейчас пишу письмо. He was standing in the Middle of the room. Он стоял посреди комнаты. You must steer […]...
5. Apologizing for a Bad Date I really Blew it last night. I finally asked my neighbor, Fatima, out on a date and she Walked out on me in the middle of it. I didn’t blame her. I wanted To make a good impression on her, but I felt I was Floundering a half an hour into the date. I decided […]...
6. Making a Presentation I don’t normally get Stage fright, but the thought of getting up in front of my colleagues to give a presentation always Gives me butterflies. But I have no choice; my boss asked me to do it, so I will. I set up my Projector and PowerPoint program on my laptop. Clearing my voice, I […]...
7. Two young brothers, aged 5 and 6 Two young brothers, aged 5 and 6, are listening through the keyhole as their older sister is getting it on with her new boyfriend. They hear her say, “Oh, Jim, you’re going where no man has gone before!” The six-year-old says to his brother, “He must be fucking her up the ass!”...
8. Значение идиомы middle ground [middle ground] {n.} A place halfway between the two sides of anargument; a compromise. John wanted to go running. Bill said it wastoo hot. Tom took the middle ground and suggested a hike. Thecommittee found a middle ground between the two proposals....
9. The aged patient doddered into The aged patient doddered into the doctor’s office with a serious complaint. “Doc, you’ve got to do something to lower my sex drive.” “Come on now Mr Peters,” the doctor said, “your sex drives all in your head.” “Thats what I mean, you’ve got to lower it a little.”...
10. Значение идиомы in the middle of nowhere [in the middle of nowhere] {adv. phr.} In a deserted, farawayplace. When my car stopped on the highway in the middle of nowhere, it took forever to get help....
11. Значение идиомы middle-of-the-road [middle-of-the-road] {adj.} Favoring action halfway between twoopposite movements or ideas; with ideas halfway between two oppositesides; seeing good on both sides. The men who wrote theConstitution followed a middle-of-the-road plan on whether greaterpower belonged to the United States government or to the separatestates. Senator Jones favors a middle-of-the-road policy in thelabor-management dispute....
12. Значение идиомы change horses in the middle of a stream [change horses in the middle of a stream] or [change horses in midstream] {v. phr.} To make new plans or choose a new leader in the middle of an important activity. When a new President is to be elected during a war, the people may decide not to change horses in the middle of a […]...
13. Значение идиомы in the middle [in the middle] {adv.} or {adj. phr.} In between two sides of anargument; caught between two dangers. Mary found herself in themiddle of the quarrel between Joyce and Ethel. John promised Tomto go fishing, but his father wanted him to help at home. John was inthe middle....
14. Перевод сленгового выражения twat, значение и пример использования Сленговое выражение: twat Сленговое выражение: twat Груб. Перевод: идиот, придурок, неприятный человек Синоним: wanker (BrE) Пример: Get out, you twat! Убирайся отсюда, подонок!...
15. Перевод идиомы in the middle of nowhere, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: in the middle of nowhere Перевод: в очень отдаленном месте, очень далеко Пример: We stopped in the middle of nowhere to have a picnic. Мы остановились очень далеко и устроили пикник....
16. Перевод идиомы play both ends (against the middle / center), значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: play both ends (against the middle / center) Идиома: play both ends (against the middle / center) Перевод: играть на обе стороны; сталкивать лбами соперников; манипулировать обеими сторонами с целью собственной выгоды Пример: The man was trying to play both ends against the middle when he tried to negotiate with the two departments in […]...
17. A bloke wakes up in the middle of the night A bloke wakes up in the middle of the night and rolls over and shoves an aspirin down his wife’s throat. All of a sudden she wakes up and yells, “What the fuck are you doing?” “Just giving you an aspirin for your headache.” The bloke answered. “But I ain’t got a headache,” she yelled […]...
18. Перевод слова skirt Skirt – юбка; огибать, идти по краю Перевод слова To pleat a skirt – плиссировать юбку short skirt – короткая юбка to hem a skirt – подрубать юбку the ship skirted the coast – корабль обогнул побережье Stop pulling on my Skirt. Прекрати дергать меня за юбку. The road Skirted the lake. Дорога шла по […]...
19. Little Gregory wakes up in the middle of the night Little Gregory wakes up in the middle of the night feeling alone and scared. He goes into his mother’s room for comfort and he sees his mom standing naked in front of the mirror. She is rubbing her chest and groaning, “I want a man, I want a man.” Shaking his head in bewilderment, Gregory […]...
20. Retire Aged Personell Early TO ALL MCCCD EMPLOYEES FROM GOVERNING BORED DATE 22 APR 1986 1. As a result of the HAYZE mismanagement study, we must drastically cut most salaries and reduce our number of personnel. Under this plan, older employees will go on early retirement, thus permitting management to focus its abuse on younger employees who represent our […]...
21. Useful Phrases to Know When Travelling in the Middle East AKBAR KHALI_KILI HAFTIR LOTFAN Thank you for showing me your marvelous gun. FEKR GABUL ORADAN DAVAT PAEH CUSH DIVAR I am delighted to accept your kind invitation to lie on the floor with my arms above my head and my legs apart. SHOMAEH FEKR TAMOMEH DEH GOFTEH BANDE I agree with everything you have ever […]...
22. A guy driving a truck in the middle of nowhere A guy driving a truck in the middle of nowhere picks up a hitch-hiker. It gets dark and the hitch-hiker falls asleep. Suddenly bang, and the hitch-hiker wakes up,”what the hell was that?”. The truck driver replies, “some kinda animal, go back to sleep.” Further the same thing again, bang, “What the hell was that?”, […]...
23. A middle manager is called into his bosses office A middle manager is called into his bosses office on a Monday morning. He is told he has to get rid of one employee in his department by the next Monday. “Downsizing.” He’s really upset. Everyone in his department does a good job and it doesn’t seem fair. So for the next 2 days he […]...
24. Frasier’s dog Eddie dies aged 16 Moose the dog, better known as Eddie in US sitcom Frasier, has died aged 16 in Los Angeles, his trainer has said. The Jack Russell terrier passed away of old age last week at trainer Mathilde Halberg’s home, she told People magazine and the Access Hollywood show. “He just had an incredible charisma and was […]...
25. One day a guy and a girl were making out in the guy’s car One day a guy and a girl were making out in the guy’s car in the girl’s driveway. They began to get pretty hot and heavy when the guy reached into his pants and placed his cock in her hand. She froze, jumped up and said, “I’ve got two words for you, DROP DEAD!” Then […]...
26. A woman goes into a bar and orders a beer A woman goes into a bar and orders a beer. She grabs the beer and tips it down the back of her skirt. The barman looks amazed as she orders another and again tips it down her skirt. Finally, the barman says: “Why are you tipping your drinks down your skirt?” “Well,” the chick replies, […]...
27. Movies Affect People Movies are popular because people are great watchers. They like to watch other peoples’ lives. They like to live vicariously. By going to movies, we can escape our own lives, share other people’s emotions, and imagine ourselves as someone else. Many of our lives are not as adventurous or glamorous as the lives in movies. […]...
28. Перевод идиомы up-to-date / up to date, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: up-to-date / up to date Перевод: современный, отвечающий последним требованиям Пример: The kitchen in our apartment is not up-to-date at all. Кухня в нашей квартире совсем не современная....
29. Barry took a girl out on her first date Barry took a girl out on her first date. When they pulled off into a secluded area around midnight, the girl said, “My mother told me to say no to everything.” “Well,” Barry said, “do you mind if I put my arm around you?” “No,” the girl replied. “Do you mind if I put my […]...
30. Changed my mind! This bloke picks up woman at the local pub. They go for a romantic walk down the street. They walk hand in hand and as they stroll his lustful desires rise to a fever pitch. He is just about to put the hard word on her when she says, “I hope you don’t mind but […]...
31. Little Johnny comes home from school Little Johnny comes home from school with a note from his teacher, indicating that “Johnny seems to be having some difficulty with the difference between boys and girls,” and would his mother,”please sit down and have a talk with Johnny about this.” So johnny’s mother takes him quietly, by the hand, upstairs to her bedroom, […]...
32. Значение идиомы on the other hand [on the other hand] {adv. phr.} Looking at the other side; fromanother point of view. – Used to introduce an opposite or differentfact or idea. Jim wanted to go to the movies; his wife, on theother hand, wanted to stay home and read. Mr. Harris may stillwant a boy to mow his lawn; on the […]...
33. In a crowded city at a crowded bus stop In a crowded city at a crowded bus stop, a beautiful young woman was waiting for the bus. She was decked out in a tight leather mini skirt with matching tight leather boots and jacket. As the bus rolled up and it became her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was […]...
34. Перевод слова mine Mine – шахта, рудник; добывать; мой, мое Перевод слова To develop a mine – обустраивать шахту to mine diamonds – добывать алмазы abandoned mine – заброшенная шахта it is mine – это мое He is a Mine of information. Он ходячая энциклопедия. This Mine is now laid in. Эта шахта законсервирована. She’s a new love […]...
35. Making a Medical Diagnosis Terrell: Where have you been? Sally: At the hospital, again. My doctor is putting me through another Battery of tests. Terrell: She still hasn’t been able To zero in on the cause of your pain and Make a diagnosis? Sally: No, she hasn’t. Part of the problem is that my Symptoms are Intermittent, and they […]...
36. Bying a horse This guy owns a horse stud farm, and gets a call from a friend “I know this midget with a speech impediment who wants to buy a horse, I’m sending him over.” The midget arrives, and the owner asks if he wants a male or female horse. “A female horth,” the midget replies. So the […]...
37. A present for the anniversary A middle-aged Jewish guy is out to dinner with his wife to celebrate her fortieth birthday. He says, “So what would you like, Julie? A Jaguar? A sable coat? A diamond necklace?” She says, “Bernie, I want a divorce.” He says, “I wasn’t planning on spending that much.”...
38. Three couples wanted to join a church Three couples, an elderly couple, a middle aged couple and a young newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor says, “We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks.” The couples agreed and came back at the end of two weeks. The pastor goes to the […]...
39. A fellow was following a truck in heavy traffic A fellow was following a truck in heavy traffic. Every block or so, when they were stopped at a stop light, the driver of the truck would jump out of the cab with a big stick and bang on the side of the cargo bay. He’d then jump back into the cab in time to […]...
40. Familiar Epistle from a Parent to a Child Aged Two Years and Two Months на английском языке писателя Charles Dickens My child, To recount with what trouble I have brought you up-with what an anxious eye I have regarded your progress,-how late and how often I have sat up at night working for you,-and how many thousand letters I have received from, and written to your various relations and friends, many of whom have been […]...