Animal stuttering

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1. Little Johnny was in class againLittle Johnny was in class again. Teacher asked everyone «Can anyone tell me a sentence with the word definitely in it?» Meg puts up her hand.»The sky is definitely blue.» «Thats not bad, Meg,» says the teacher, «but the sky can be grey or red.» Young Sally tried :»The grass is definitely green.» «Good try ... Читать далее...
2. One day the teacher decides to play an animal gameOne day the teacher decides to play an animal game. She holds up a picture of a giraffe and asks if anyone knows what it is. No one raises his/her hand. The teacher says «See it’s long neck? What animal has a long neck?» Sally holds up her hand and asks if it is a ... Читать далее...
3. One day a teacher was teaching religionOne day a teacher was teaching religion, when she asked the class «What part of your body do you think goes up to heaven first?» Two children rose their hand. One was little Johnny. Hesitant to pick on him she chose little Mary. «I think your heart goes first because, that’s were your emotions of ... Читать далее...
4. My dog ate my homework«Johnny, where’s your homework?» Miss Martin said sternly to the little boy while holding out her hand. «My dog ate it,» was his solemn response. «Johnny, I’ve been a teacher for eighteen years. Do you really expect me to believe that?» «It’s true, Miss Martin, I swear,» insisted Johnny. «I had to force him, but ... Читать далее...
5. Everything we needA young teacher was trying to teach her six-year-old charges about sharing. In the midst of doing so, she said that no one had everything they wanted. At this point, a young arm was energetically pumping at the back of the class. She tried to ignore him, but little Johnny started saying, «oh miss, oh ... Читать далее...
6. The Teacher tells the class they are going to play a gameThe Teacher tells the class they are going to play a game, she will describe an object and the students will tell her what she had described. Teacher: «The first object is Red, Round, and has a stem.» Timmy: » I know what it is, it’s an apple.» Teacher: «That’s right, I like the way ... Читать далее...
7. Little Johnny walks into his primary schoolLittle Johnny walks into his primary school classroom one morning to be confronted by his teacher. Teacher «Ahh, Good Morning Johnny, and where were you yesterday?» Johnny «I’m sorry Miss, but my Grandad got burnt yesterday.» Teacher, «Was he burned very bad?» Johnny, «Yes Mam, they don’t fuck around at these crematoriums you know....
8. The last wordsA teacher was asking her class what their fathers did. When she asked little Johnny, he said, «My father’s dead, Miss.» «Oh, I am sorry, Johnny. In that case, what did he do before he died?» «He went blue, held his chest and moaned aaaaarrrrrrggg, and collapsed.»...
9. Little Johnny was late for schoolLittle Johnny was late for school. When he finally got there his teacher asked, «Why are you late little Johnny?» Johnny replied, «My grandpa got burnt, Miss.» The teacher replied, «I hope it wasn’t too bad.» Then little Johnny said, «Don’t worry, the crematorium doesn’t muck around!»...
10. Bush fans v. Kerry fansThere’s a teacher in a small Texas town. She asks her class how many of them are Bush fans. Not really knowing what a Bush fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raise their hands except one boy — Johnny. The teacher asks Johnny why he has decided to ... Читать далее...
11. Перевод слова phenomenonPhenomenon — явление, феномен Перевод слова The phenomenon of nature — явление природы common phenomenon — обычное явление atmospheric phenomenon — атмосферное явление immunological phenomenon — иммунологический феномен Snow is a Phenomenon of winter. Снег — обычное явление зимой. Homelessness is not a new Phenomenon. Отсутствие жилья не является чем-то новым. Language is a social ... Читать далее...
12. A lesson in ebonicsA sixth grade class is doing some spelling drills. The teacher asks Tommy if he can spell ‘before.’ He stands up and says, «Before, B-E-P-H-O-R.» The teacher says, «No, that’s wrong. Can anyone else spell before?» Another little boy stands up and says, «Before, B-E-F-O-O-R.» Again the teacher says, «No, that’s wrong.» The teacher asks, ... Читать далее...
13. Перевод слова animalAnimal — животное, зверь Перевод слова Dumb animal — бессловесная тварь animal fat — животный жир free animal — животное, находящееся на свободе Man is a rational Animal. Человек — это разумное животное. She loves all kinds of Animals. Она любит все виды животных. The Animal died a painful death. Животное умерло мучительной смертью. Примеры ... Читать далее...
14. Little Johny being literalTeacher asks the children to discuss what their Dad’s do for a living. Little Mary says: «My Dad is a lawyer. He puts the bad guys in jail.» Little Jack says: «My Dad is a doctor. He makes all the sick people better.» All the kids in the class had their turn except Little Johnny. ... Читать далее...
15. Mrs. PrussyThe little darlings were all in their seats on the first day of school and their new teacher introduced herself. She wrote on the board that her name is Ms. Prussy and the day passed without any further incidents. The next morning after greeting the class she asked if anyone remembered her name and little ... Читать далее...
16. Little Johnny comes home from schoolLittle Johnny comes home from school with a note from his teacher, indicating that «Johnny seems to be having some difficulty with the difference between boys and girls,» and would his mother,»please sit down and have a talk with Johnny about this.» So johnny’s mother takes him quietly, by the hand, upstairs to her bedroom, ... Читать далее...
17. Do the mathThe math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn’t paying attention in class. She called on him and said, «Johnny! what are 4, 2, 28 and 44?» Little Johnny quickly replied, «NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!»...
18. Little Johnny is coming home from the storeLittle Johnny’s is coming home from the store swinging the loaf of bread in one hand and the other hand in his pants pocket. Along come Priest Joe and he thinks to himself, «This is a good opportunity to say something from the bible to Little Johnny.» He walks up to Little Johnny and says, ... Читать далее...
19. In the Sex Ed class the teacher saysIn the Sex Ed class the teacher says, «All right, class, I want you to go home and come back tomorrow with as many positions as you can think of for making sex.» The next day she says to Little Johnny in the back, «Well, John, how many positions did you come up with?» Johnny ... Читать далее...
20. Johnny missed his final exam due to the fluJohnny missed his final exam due to the flu, but he’d done so well during the year that the teacher suggests to the principal they give him an oral exam to make up for the test he’d missed. The principal agrees so they called Johnny into the office and explain about the oral test. First ... Читать далее...
21. One day in class the teacherOne day in class the teacher has sex education. On the black board she draws a penis then asks the class if any of them knows what it is. In the back of the room, Dirty Johnny stands and says «That’s a penis, and my father has two of them». The teacher looks surprised and ... Читать далее...
22. Little Johnny was in his math’s class one dayLittle Johnny was in his math’s class one day when the teacher singled him out. «If I gave you $20,» the teacher began,» and you gave $5 to Mary, $5 to Sally and $5 to Susan, what would you have?» «An orgy,» Johnny answered....
23. Famous QuotesOne Friday morning, a teacher came up with a novel way to motivate her class. She told them that she would read a quote and the first student to correctly identify who said it would receive the rest of the day off. She started with «This was England’s finest hour.» Little Suzy instantly jumped up ... Читать далее...
24. Strict schoolIt was the first day of school, and the elementary school teacher was establishing the fact that she’d take no nonsense from the kiddies this year. While taking the roll, she was told by one boy «My name is Johnny Fuckhauer». So she said «There’ll be none of that kind of thing this year, Johnny; ... Читать далее...
25. Little Johnny’s dad is sitting on the side of the bedLittle Johnny’s dad is sitting on the side of the bed rolling on a condom about to give his wife some. Little Johnny sticks his head in the door, sees his dad and says, «Whatcha doin’ Daddy?» Johnny’s dad stoops over to cover up his dick and starts looking at the floor. «Oh, I’m just ... Читать далее...
26. Where is the French border?«Why do you look so glum today?», the teacher asked young Johnny. «I didn’t have no breakfast,» Johnny mumbled. «You poor dear,» said the teacher. «Now, to return to our geography lesson, Johnny, where is the French border?» «In bed with my mom. That’s why I didn’t have no breakfast.»...
27. Grandpa and Little Johnny are sittingGrandpa and Little Johnny are sitting on a bench in the park. Johnny asked, «Grandpa are you going to take that new Viagra?» Grandpa looks at him and says «No Johnny, I will not.» «But Grandpa, why?» asks little Johnny. Grandpa replies. «Because there is no sense in putting lead in your pencil if you ... Читать далее...
28. FBI Now Tracks Animal Abuse Just Like Homicides, Arson and AssaultBecause if you abuse animals, there’s a chance you abuse people, too. The FBI is more serious than ever about tracking those who abuse innocent animals. For the first time ever this year, the FBI will collect data on animal cruelty crimes via its National Incident-Based Reporting System (NIBRS). In doing so, the bureau has ... Читать далее...
29. A young female teacher was giving an assignmentA young female teacher was giving an assignment to her Grade 6 class one day. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys in the class. She quickly turned and asked, «What’s so funny Pat?» «Well teacher, I just ... Читать далее...
30. For all animal lovers out thereFor all animal lovers out there: How do you make a cat go ‘woof’? Soak it in petrol, and set it on fire. And… How do you make a dog go ‘miaow’? Freeze it in liquid nitrogen, and run it through a bandsaw…...
31. Little Johnny walked into his dad’s bedroomLittle Johnny walked into his dad’s bedroom one day only catch him sitting on the side of his bed sliding a condom onto his dick in preparation of fucking his wife. Johnny’s father in attempt to hide his full erection with a condom on it bent over as if to look under the bed. Little ... Читать далее...
32. Little Johnny had become a real nuisanceLittle Johnny had become a real nuisance while his father tried to concentrate on his Saturday afternoon poker game with friends and relatives. His father tried every way possible to get Johnny to occupy himself…television, ice cream, homework, video games…but the youngster insisted on running back and forth behind the players and calling out the ... Читать далее...
33. The teacher hears Little Johnny cussing, andThe teacher hears Little Johnny cussing, and gets pissed off. She goes bitching to Little Johnny’s father. She comes to Little Johnny’s house and sees Little Johnny fucking a goat in the front yard. She walks in the house and screams to his father «Your son! Your son! He cussed in the school and now….now ... Читать далее...
34. Значение идиомы in hand[in hand] {adv.} or {adj. phr.} 1. Under control. The principalwas happy to find that the new teacher had her class in hand. Thebaby-sitter kept the children well in hand. Mabel was frightenedwhen the barking dog ran at her, but she soon got herself in hand andwalked on. Contrast: OUT OF HAND. 2. In your ... Читать далее...
35. Защита животных/ Animal ProtectionНа английском языке Перевод на русский язык Animal Protection Защита животных A growing number of people think that animals are not to be exploited by people and they should have certain rights. Although, there are still some people, who believe that people have the rights to employ animals in order to satisfy their needs, for ... Читать далее...
36. EarLittle Johnny was in a spelling bee in class. He had to spell the word and use it in a sentence. The teacher asked him to please spell the word EAR. Little Johnny stood up and proudly said EAR E, A, R. Then to use it in a sentence he pretended to take a big ... Читать далее...
37. From UsThe teacher walks in and finds an apple on her desk with the letters «ILU» written on it. The teacher asks who left it. A little white girl raises her hand. Well sweetie, what does «ILU» mean? The little girl replies, «I love you.» The teacher says, «Isn’t that sweet,» and continues with class. The ... Читать далее...
38. Значение идиомы hand over[hand over] {v.} To give control or possession of; give to another person. When the teacher saw Johnny reading a comic bookin study period, she made him hand over the book. When Mr. Jonesgets old, he will hand over his business to his son. Syn.: FORK OVER, GIVE UP, TURN OVER....
39. Мое любимое животное/ My Favourite AnimalНа английском языке Перевод на русский язык My Favourite Animal Мое любимое животное I like all kinds of animals and I think that people should treat them better. I’m against any violence towards animals. Speaking about domestic animals, I have several pets at home. It’s my parrot Kesha, my cat Liza and my dog Bobby. ... Читать далее...
40. A good studentIt was the first day of school and a new student named Martinez, the son of a Mexican restaurateur, entered the fourth grade. The teacher said, «Let’s begin by reviewing some American history. Who said «Give me Liberty, or give me Death?» She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Martinez, who had his ... Читать далее...