An old man was critically ill

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1. A lawyer passed on and found himself in HeavenA lawyer passed on and found himself in Heaven, but not at all happy with his accommodations. He complained to St. Peter, who told him that his only recourse was to appeal his assignment. The lawyer immediately advised that he intended to appeal, but was then told that he would be waiting at least three ... Читать далее...
2. Very fair paymentAn elderly and somewhat hard-of-hearing man was sitting in a stylish downtown attorney’s office as his lawyer handed him his will. «Your estate is very complex,» said the lawyer, «but I’ve made sure that all of your wishes will be executed. Due to the complexity, my fee is $4500.» Just then, the phone rang and ... Читать далее...
3. A lawyer and the pope were both killed in an accidentA lawyer and the pope were both killed in an accident. The two were in line to see St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter asked the lawyer his name and looked it up in his book. He then asked the Pope for his name, and looked it up in his book also. «Now, ... Читать далее...
4. A tough case was being argued in courtA tough case was being argued in court. The defense attorney, feeling that he was in trouble, sent the judge a bottle of hundred-year old brandy. The defendant was fit to be tied. «The judge’ll kill me. Trying to bribe him! We’re dead!» «I don’t think so,» his attorney told him. «I sent it in ... Читать далее...
5. Перевод слова lawyerLawyer — адвокат, юрист Перевод слова A lawyer by profession — юрист по профессии lawyer’s clients — клиенты адвоката lawyer practice, practice of law — юридическая практика You should see a Lawyer. Вы должны увидеться с адвокатом. You should talk to a Lawyer. Вам следует проконсультироваться с юристом. I got a letter from my Lawyer. ... Читать далее...
6. Last minute requestsA man woke up in a hospital bed and called for his doctor. He asked, «Give it to me straight. How long have I got?» The physician replied that he doubted that the man would survive the night. The man then said, «Call for my lawyer.» When the lawyer arrived, the man asked for his ... Читать далее...
7. The pretty secretary came in late for work the third dayThe pretty secretary came in late for work the third day in a row. The boss called her into his office and said, «Now look Sharon, I know we had a wild fling for a while, but that’s over. I expect you to conduct yourself like any other employee around here. The boss pressed on, ... Читать далее...
8. Перевод слова degreeDegree — степень, уровень, градус Перевод слова Degree of complexity — степень сложности in some degree — в некоторой степени academic degree — научная степень The Degree of risk is minimal. Степень риска минимальна. Preheat the oven to 425 Degrees. Предварительно разогрейте духовку до 425 градусов. Applicants must have a Degree in Engineering. Кандидаты должны ... Читать далее...
9. Question and answerQ: How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung? A: You can’t get a finger between the rope and his neck! Q: If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do? A: ... Читать далее...
10. Значение идиомы to a degree[to a degree] {adv. phr.} 1. {Chiefly British} Very; to a largeextent. In some things I am ignorant to a degree. 2. Somewhat;slightly; in a small way; rather. His anger was, to a degree, aconfession of defeat. To a degree, Mary was to blame for Bob’sfailing mathematics, because he spent much time with her when ... Читать далее...
11. Значение идиомы sign one’s own death warrant[sign one’s own death warrant] {v. phr.} To cause your own death orthe loss of something you want very much. Mr. Carter had lungtrouble, and the doctor told him he would sign his own death warrantif he didn’t stop smoking. When Jim’s fiancee saw him on a datewith another girl, he signed his own death ... Читать далее...
12. Перевод слова expressExpress — изображать, выражать; определенный, точный Перевод слова I cannot express to you how grateful I am — не могу выразить, как я вам благодарен his face expressed sorrow — на его лице отразилась печаль express wish — ясно выраженное желание Might I Express my opinion? Позвольте мне выразить свое мнение. Bill’s not afraid to ... Читать далее...
13. The way he diedA person is in the hospital and asked his doctor how much time does he have left to live. The doctor did not want to lie so he told him that he wouldn’t make it through the night. So the person calls for his lawyer and asks him to come and sit by his bed. ... Читать далее...
14. A man walked into a lawyer’s office andA man walked into a lawyer’s office and inquired about the rates. «Fifty dollars for three questions,» replied the lawyer. «Isn’t that awfully steep?» asked the man. «Yes,» the lawyer replied, «and what was your third question?»...
15. A local United Way office realized thatA local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the town’s most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. «Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn’t you like ... Читать далее...
16. Перевод слова sadnessSadness — печаль, грусть, уныние Перевод слова To drive off the feeling of sadness — прогонять грусть profound sadness of loss — глубокая печаль от потери to express sadness — выражать грусть to feel sadness — грустить What can I do to drive away these feelings of Sadness? Что бы такого сделать, чтобы не было ... Читать далее...
17. Значение идиомы to the nth degree[to the nth degree] {adv. phr.} To the greatest degree possible;extremely; very much so. Scales must be accurate to the nthdegree. His choice of words was exactly to the nth degree....
18. MD Qs and AsWhat does a graduate student with a science degree ask? «Why does it work?» What does a graduate student with an engineering degree ask? «How does it work?» What does a graduate student with an accounting degree ask? «How much will it cost?» What does a graduate student with a liberal arts degree ask? «Do ... Читать далее...
19. The dog and the butcherA dog ran into a butcher shop and grabbed a roast off the counter. Fortunately, the butcher recognized the dog as belonging to a neighbour of his. The neighbour happened to be a lawyer. Incensed at the theft, the butcher called up his neighbour and said, «Hey, if your dog stole a roast from my ... Читать далее...
20. Перевод слова feelingFeeling — чувство, ощущение Перевод слова Feeling of safety — чувство безопасности a sense of feeling — чувство осязания a man of feeling — сентиментальный или эмоциональный человек I was Feeling rotten. Я чувствовал себя просто отвратительно. I am Feeling quite off today. Мне сегодня нездоровится. I have a bad Feeling about this. У меня ... Читать далее...
21. What Not to Name Your DogEverybody has a dog called Rover or Spot. I call my dog «Sex». When I went to city hall to buy a licence I told the clerk I wanted a licence for Sex. He said «I’d like one too.» But then I said «This is a dog.» He said he didn’t care what she looked ... Читать далее...
22. Lawyers are greedyA lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW. «Officer, look what they’ve done to my Beeeeemer!!!», he whined. «You lawyers are so ... Читать далее...
23. A lawyer named Strange diedA lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, «Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer.» The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, for passersby would tend to think that three men were buried under the stone. However he suggested an alternative: ... Читать далее...
24. On visting a seriously ill lawyer in the hospitalOn visting a seriously ill lawyer in the hospital, his friend found him sitting up in the bed, frantically leafing through the bible «What are you doing?» asked the friend. «Looking for loopholes,» repied the lawyer....
25. A priest and a lawyer are walking downA priest and a lawyer are walking down the street and see a small boy eating an ice cream. The priest says, «How’d you like to fuck that?» To which the lawyer replied, «Out of what?»...
26. Jim will not be in today. He is not feeling himself. Thank you«Jim will not be in today. He is not feeling himself. Thank you.» THIS MEANS: 1. He doesn’t feel the way he usually does. 2. He is not in complete control of his hands. 3. His emotions are shattered. 4. His skin is numb. 5. He has transofrmed into an alter-ego (i. e. professional wrestler) ... Читать далее...
27. Visiting a lawyer for advice, the wife saidVisiting a lawyer for advice, the wife said, «I want you to help me get a divorce. The Lawyer says OK, what are your grounds. My husband is getting a little queer to sleep with.» «What do you mean?» asked the attorney. «Does he force you to indulge in unusual sex practices?» «No,» replied the ... Читать далее...
28. A story with a moraleA man, called to testify at the IRS, asked his accountant for advice on what to wear. «Wear your shabbiest clothing. Let him think you are a pauper.» Then he asked his lawyer the same question, but got the opposite advice. «Do not let them intimidate you. Wear your most elegant suit and tie.» Confused, ... Читать далее...
29. Значение идиомы death on[death on] {adj. phr.}, {informal} 1. Very successful in meeting or dealing with. Joe is death on fast balls. He usually knocks them out of the park. 2. Disliking or strongly against; very strict about. The new teacher is death on students who come late to class. The twins’ grandmother is death on smoking....
30. Ru-RuTwo guys get stuck on a desert island. They are soon caught by the natives and brought to a village and put before the cheif. He says to the first guy,»As punishment for tresspassing I give you a choice, death or Ru Ru».Not wanting to die he picks Ru Ru. He is then beaten and ... Читать далее...
31. Calling in Sick to WorkI was Fed up with work and wanted the day off. I decided To call in sick. I wasn’t prepared, though, to be Peppered with questions. Peter: Hello, this is Peter. Is this Magda? Magda: Yes. This is Magda. Peter: Hi, Magda. I won’t be Coming in today. I’m Not feeling well. I think I’ve ... Читать далее...
32. Drilling is mine!Storming into his lawyer’s office, a Texas oil magnate demanded that divorce proceedings begin at once against his young bride. «What’s the problem?» «I want to hit that adulterin’ bitch for breach of contract,» snapped the oil man. «I don’t know if that will fly,» said the lawyer. «I mean your wife isn’t a piece ... Читать далее...
33. Значение идиомы death knell[death knell] {n.}, {formal} 1. The ringing of a bell at a death or funeral. The people mourned at the death knell of their friend. 2. {literary} Something which shows a future failure. Bill’s poor grade on his final examination sounded the death knell of his hope to be a doctor. His sudden deafness was ... Читать далее...
34. Значение идиомы to death[to death] {adv. phr.}, {informal} To the limit; to the greatestdegree possible. — Used for emphasis with verbs such as «scare»,»frighten», «bore». Cowboy stories bore me to death, but I likemysteries. Sara is scared to death of snakes. John is tickledto death with his new bike....
35. Death of Energizer BunnyThe world was stunned by the news, this morning, of the death of the Energizer Bunny. He was six years old. Authorities believe that the death occurred at approximately 8:42PM last evening. Best known as the irritating pink bunny that kept going and going and going, «Pinkie» as he was known to his friends and ... Читать далее...
36. A lawyer returns to his parked BMW to find the headlights brokenA lawyer returns to his parked BMW to find the headlights broken and his front bumper smashed. There’s no sign of the offending vehicle, but he’s relieved to see that there’s a note stuck under the windshield wiper. The lawyer picks up the note. «Sorry. I just backed into your Beemer. The witnesses who saw ... Читать далее...
37. Значение идиомы catch one’s death of[catch one’s death of] or [take one’s death of] {v. phr.}, {informal} To become very ill with. Johnny fell in the icy water and almost took his death of cold. Sometimes used in the short form «catch your death.» «Johnny! Come right in here and put your coat and hat on. You’ll catch your death!»...
38. Значение идиомы feather one’s nest[feather one’s nest] {v. phr.}, {informal} 1. To use for yourselfmoney and power, especially from a public office or job in which youare trusted to help other people. The rich man told his lawyer touse his money after he died to build a hospital for poor people, butthe lawyer feathered his own nest with the ... Читать далее...
39. Dealing with a lawyerA new York Divorce Lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. Saint Peter asks him «What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven?» The Lawyer thought a moment, then said, «A week ago, I gave a quarter to a homeless person on the street.» Saint Peter asked Gabriel to check this out in ... Читать далее...
40. Перевод идиомы tickle someone pink / to death / to pieces, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: tickle someone pink / to death / to pieces Перевод: угодить, порадовать, доставить огромное удовольствие; насмешить до смерти Пример: I know that these flowers will tickle her pink. Я знаю, что эти цветы ее очень порадуют. What you told her just tickled her to death! То, что ты ей только что рассказал, насмешило ее ... Читать далее...