An old man was critically ill
An old man was critically ill. Feeling that death was near, he called his lawyer. “I want to become a lawyer. How much is it or the express degree you told me about?”
“It’s $50,000,” the lawyer said. “But why? You’ll be dead soon, why do you want to become a lawyer?”
“That’s my business! Get me the course!”
Four days later, the old man got his law degree. His lawyer was at his bedside, making sure his bill would be paid.
Suddenly the old man was racked with fits of coughing and it was clear that this would be the end. Still curious, the lawyer leaned over and said, “please, before it’s too late, tell me why you wanted to to get a law degree so badly before you died?”
In a faint whisper, as he breathed his last, the old man said, “One less lawyer. . .”
Related topics:
- Значение идиомы rack one’s brain [rack one’s brain] {v. phr.} To try your best to think; make agreat mental effort; especially: to try to remember something you haveknown. Bob racked his brain trying to remember where he left thebook. Susan racked her brain trying to guess whom the valentinecame from. John racked his brain during the test trying to solvethe […]...
- Значение идиомы clear out [clear out] {v.} 1. To take everything out of; empty. When Bill was moved to another class he cleared out his desk. 2. {informal} To leave suddenly; go away; depart. The cop told the boys to clear out. Bob cleared out without paying his room rent. Clear out of here! You’re bothering me. Compare: BEAT […]...
- Launch the missiles It’s Friday night and President Bill is working late in the White House. Suddenly the big, red telephone on his desk rings. [President Bill] Hello! Hello! [Voice on the line] President Bill! We have a report that Boris Yeltsin just ordered the launch of all Russian missiles in a full-scale nuclear attack against the United […]...
- Значение идиомы steer clear of [steer clear of] {v.} 1. To steer a safe distance from; go aroundwithout touching. A ship steers clear of a rocky shore in stormyweather. 2. {informal} To stay away from; keep from going near. Fred was angry at Bill, and Bill was steering clear of him. Somewords Martha always spells wrong. She tries to steer […]...
- Перевод слова curious Curious – любопытный, любознательный, пытливый Перевод слова Curious idlers – зеваки, любопытствующие бездельники curious incident – любопытный случай curious research – тщательное исследование Mandy was Curious to know what happened. Мэнди было любопытно узнать, что случилось. Puppies are naturally Curious. Щенки, любопытны от природы. He was too Curious to let the matter drop. Он был […]...
- Lawyers are greedy A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW. “Officer, look what they’ve done to my Beeeeemer!!!”, he whined. “You lawyers are so […]...
- Перевод идиомы in fits and starts / by fits and starts, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: in fits and starts / by fits and starts Перевод: урывками, с паузами; нерегулярно, непостоянно Пример: Replies are arriving in fits and starts. Ответы прибывают с перерывами....
- Значение идиомы give fits [give fits] {v. phr.} {informal} To upset; bother very much. Paul’s higher grades give John fits. The short guard gave histall opponent fits. Compare: GIVE A HARD TIME....
- Gates gets punishment Bill Gates suddenly dies and finds himself face to face with God. God stood over Bill Gates and said, “Well Bill, I’m really confused on this one. It’s a tough decision; I’m not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you helped society enormously by putting a computer in almost every […]...
- Investment counselor An investment counselor decided to go out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in, and pretty soon she realized that she needed an in-house counsel. The investment banker began to interview young lawyers. “As I’m sure you can understand,” she started off with one of the first applicants, “in […]...
- Значение идиомы out of the blue [out of the blue] or [out of a clear sky] or [out of a clear bluesky] {adv. phr.}, {informal} Without any warning; by surprise;unexpectedly. At the last minute Johnny came out of the blue tocatch the pass and score a touchdown. The cowboy thought he wasalone but suddenly out of a clear sky there were […]...
- Very fair payment An elderly and somewhat hard-of-hearing man was sitting in a stylish downtown attorney’s office as his lawyer handed him his will. “Your estate is very complex,” said the lawyer, “but I’ve made sure that all of your wishes will be executed. Due to the complexity, my fee is $4500.” Just then, the phone rang and […]...
- Перевод слова lawyer Lawyer – адвокат, юрист Перевод слова A lawyer by profession – юрист по профессии lawyer’s clients – клиенты адвоката lawyer practice, practice of law – юридическая практика You should see a Lawyer. Вы должны увидеться с адвокатом. You should talk to a Lawyer. Вам следует проконсультироваться с юристом. I got a letter from my Lawyer. […]...
- A couple came upon a wishing well A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled and said, “It really works!”...
- Значение идиомы by fits and starts [by fits and starts] or [jerks] {adv. phr.} With many stops and starts, a little now and a little more later; not all the time; irregularly. He had worked on the invention by fits and starts for several years. You will never get anywhere if you study just by fits and starts. Compare: FROM TIME […]...
- Перевод слова degree Degree – степень, уровень, градус Перевод слова Degree of complexity – степень сложности in some degree – в некоторой степени academic degree – научная степень The Degree of risk is minimal. Степень риска минимальна. Preheat the oven to 425 Degrees. Предварительно разогрейте духовку до 425 градусов. Applicants must have a Degree in Engineering. Кандидаты должны […]...
- Bill and Bob met at the club for their weekly golf game Bill and Bob met at the club for their weekly golf game. And for the third week in a row, it was raining too hard to play. Bill: Well, Bob, what do you want to do now? Bob: Darts? Bill: Nah. Bob: Shoot some pool? Bill: Nah. Bob: Cards? Bill: Nah. Hey, I’ve got an […]...
- Question and answer Q: How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung? A: You can’t get a finger between the rope and his neck! Q: If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do? A: […]...
- Значение идиомы to a degree [to a degree] {adv. phr.} 1. {Chiefly British} Very; to a largeextent. In some things I am ignorant to a degree. 2. Somewhat;slightly; in a small way; rather. His anger was, to a degree, aconfession of defeat. To a degree, Mary was to blame for Bob’sfailing mathematics, because he spent much time with her when […]...
- A lawyer passed on and found himself in Heaven A lawyer passed on and found himself in Heaven, but not at all happy with his accommodations. He complained to St. Peter, who told him that his only recourse was to appeal his assignment. The lawyer immediately advised that he intended to appeal, but was then told that he would be waiting at least three […]...
- A man walked into a lawyer’s office and A man walked into a lawyer’s office and inquired about the rates. “Fifty dollars for three questions,” replied the lawyer. “Isn’t that awfully steep?” asked the man. “Yes,” the lawyer replied, “and what was your third question?”...
- 35 People and an Irishman were in a 4 engine jumbo jet 35 People and an Irishman were in a 4 engine jumbo jet heading over the Pacific Ocean, Suddenly, a Message is announced, “Ladies and Gentlemen Engine #2 has Died, We will be 30 mins late” “Damn!” Said the Irishman, 10 mins later, “I’m sorry people Engine #3 has died, We’ll be 1 hour late” 20 […]...
- Перевод слова clear Clear – светлый, ясный, прозрачный Перевод слова Clear glass – прозрачное стекло clear day – ясный день clear conclusion – ясный вывод Clear this with the boss. Согласуй это с шефом. I get a Clear £50 a week. Я получаю £50 в неделю чистыми. A good walk might Clear my head. Хорошая прогулка может прочистить […]...
- A man was driving up a steep and narrow mountain road A man was driving up a steep and narrow mountain road. A woman was driving down the same road. As they passed each other, the woman leaned out the window and yelled, “Pig!” The man immediately leaned out his window and replied, “Bitch!” They continue on their way and as the man rounded the next […]...
- Sarah was a curious thirteen year old girl Sarah was a curious thirteen year old girl. “Mommy,” she said, “I’d like you to answer one question.” “Very good,” replied her mother, “I was wondering when you would become curious about birds, flowers and bees.” “It’s not that,” said the girl. “I know all about screwing. What I would like to know is how […]...
- Значение идиомы have a fit [have a fit] or [have fits] or [throw a fit] {v. phr.} 1. To have asudden illness with stiffness or jerking of the body. Our dog had afit yesterday. 2. {informal} To become angry or upset. Father willthrow a fit when he sees the dent in the car. Howard will have afit when he learns […]...
- Значение идиомы to the nth degree [to the nth degree] {adv. phr.} To the greatest degree possible;extremely; very much so. Scales must be accurate to the nthdegree. His choice of words was exactly to the nth degree....
- Пословица / поговорка if the shoe fits wear it – перевод и значение, пример использования Пословица / поговорка: if the shoe fits wear it Пословица / поговорка: if the shoe fits wear it Перевод: принимаете на свой счет – значит, есть основание Эквивалент в русском языке: на воре шапка горит Пример: You should not criticize someone for something that you do yourself. Remember that if the shoe fits wear it. […]...
- MD Qs and As What does a graduate student with a science degree ask? “Why does it work?” What does a graduate student with an engineering degree ask? “How does it work?” What does a graduate student with an accounting degree ask? “How much will it cost?” What does a graduate student with a liberal arts degree ask? “Do […]...
- Million-dollar bill user pleads ignorance, blames Treasury A woman who tried to use a fake $1 million bill to buy $1,675 worth of merchandise at Wal-Mart said it was all just a misunderstanding – she thought the bill was real. The United States Treasury does not make $1 million bills. “You can’t keep up with the U. S. Treasury,” said Alice Pike, […]...
- Значение идиомы if the shoe fits, wear it [if the shoe fits, wear it] If what is said describes you, you aremeant. – A proverb. I won’t say who, but some children are alwayslate. If the shoe fits, Wear it....
- Перевод слова suddenly Suddenly – вдруг, внезапно Перевод слова The thought came suddenly to me – мне пришла в голову мысль with an engine suddenly failed – при внезапном отказе двигателя be suddenly seized with illness – внезапно заболеть An idea Suddenly struck me. Меня внезапно осенила мысль. No one likes to be Suddenly awakened. Никто не любит, […]...
- Asking for Clarification in a Business Meeting I was Negotiating a contract with a new business Partner, and we had a meeting to Clarify the Terms. Bill: If I understand the terms correctly, the length of the contract would be one year with a one-year Option. Is that correct? Ms. Samuels: Do you mean The contract for equipment rental or the one […]...
- Two neighbors had been fighting each other Two neighbors had been fighting each other for nigh on four decades. Bob buys a Great Dane and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill’s yard. For one whole year Bill ignores the dog. So Bob then buys a cow and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill’s yard. After about a year […]...
- A Change Of Vows During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer. “Look, I’ll give you $100 if you’ll change the wedding vows. When you get to me and the part where I’m to promise to ‘love, honor and obey’ and ‘forsaking all others, be faithful to her forever,’ I’d appreciate it if you’d […]...
- A lawyer and the pope were both killed in an accident A lawyer and the pope were both killed in an accident. The two were in line to see St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter asked the lawyer his name and looked it up in his book. He then asked the Pope for his name, and looked it up in his book also. “Now, […]...
- Значение идиомы clear up [clear up] {v.} 1. To make plain or clear; explain; solve. The teacher cleared up the harder parts of the story. Maybe we can clear up your problem. 2. To become clear. The weather cleared up after the storm. 3. To cure. The pills cleared up his stomach trouble. 4. To put back into a […]...
- Значение идиомы throw together [throw together] {v.} 1. also [slap together] To make in a hurryand without care. Bill and Bob threw together a cabin out of oldlumber. The party was planned suddenly, and Mary threw together ameal out of leftovers. 2. To put in with other people by chance. The group of strangers was thrown together when the […]...
- On visting a seriously ill lawyer in the hospital On visting a seriously ill lawyer in the hospital, his friend found him sitting up in the bed, frantically leafing through the bible “What are you doing?” asked the friend. “Looking for loopholes,” repied the lawyer....
- Bill and Hillary are at the first baseball game of Bill and Hillary are at the first baseball game of the season. Suddenly Clinton grabs Hillary by the collar and throws her over the side and onto the field. The stunned umpire shouted, “No, Mr. President! I said, Throw the first PITCH!”...