An IRS scam

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1. A new scamWARNING! This new scam is being pulled mainly on older men. What happens is that when you stop for a red light, a young nude woman comes up and pretends to be washing your windshield. While she is doing this, another person opens your back door and steals anything in the car. They are very ... Читать далее...
2. A new taxDepartment of the Treasury Internal Revenue Service Washington, D. C. To: All Male Taxpayers RE: Notice of increase of tax payment Form 1040 — P The only thing that the IRS has not taxed yet is your penis. This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 30% ... Читать далее...
3. Three envelopesA fellow had just been hired as the new CEO of a large high tech corporation. The CEO who was stepping down met with him privately and presented him with three numbered envelopes. «Open these if you run up against a problem you don’t think you can solve,» he said. Well, things went along pretty ... Читать далее...
4. Перевод слова revenueRevenue — доход, государственные доходы Перевод слова Revenue stamp — гербовая марка revenue tariff — фискальный тариф weekly revenue — недельный доход to collect revenue — получать доход It is plain that we do overspend our Revenue. Ясно, что мы тратим больше, чем получаем. The Revenue figures may be slightly exaggerated. Показатели выручки могут быть ... Читать далее...
5. Перевод слова operateOperate — оперировать; действовать, работать, управлять Перевод слова To operate on the brain — делать операцию на мозге his mind always operated slowly — он всегда медленно соображал this law operates to our advantage — этот закон действует в нашу пользу The company Operates from Chicago. Компания управляется из Чикаго. The camera also Operates underwater. ... Читать далее...
6. Перевод слова envelopeEnvelope — конверт, обложка, оболочка Перевод слова A stamped envelope — конверт с маркой envelope paper — оберточная или конвертная бумага to seal an envelope — запечатать конверт I recognised her handwriting on the Envelope. Я узнал ее почерк на конверте. A key was enclosed in the Envelope. В конверт был вложен ключ. The Earth ... Читать далее...
7. Перевод слова internalInternal — внутренний; душевный Перевод слова Internal parts of a body — внутренние органы internal parts of the earth — недра земли internal thoughts — сокровенные мысли internal resentment — внутреннее возмущение He died of Internal bleeding. Он умер от внутреннего кровотечения. This medicine must not be taken Internally. Это лекарство нельзя принимать внутрь. The ... Читать далее...
8. A Business PlanAbout a year ago, I came up with an idea that I thought would Revolutionize the way people sell their Goods on the Internet. After a lot of planning, I decided to try to attract Investors by developing a Business plan. I got some advice from my friend Steve who is a very successful Entrepreneur. ... Читать далее...
9. Newly issued alcohol warningsThe Toronto Board of Health has proposed that warning signs be placed on all alcohol bottles to tip off drinkers about the possible peril of drinking a pint or two of any alcoholic beverage. 1. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with a breath that could knock a buzzard off a ... Читать далее...
10. Profit and LossDolores: Manuel in accounting is supposed to help me with this report, but he called in sick today! I can’t believe my luck. He’s supposed to be Training me in and he’s left me Holding the bag. Anton: Let me see if I can help. Dolores: I’m supposed to use the information from this Profit ... Читать далее...
11. Warning labelsIf government is going to put health warning labels on beer, wine and liquor, let’s at least have a little truthfulness about the matter! WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with breath that could knock a buzzard off a shit truck at 100 yards. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major ... Читать далее...
12. Questions and Answers at a PresentationOur company hired an Outside firm to Set up a computer system to help us Keep track of the progress on major projects. The company gave us a presentation on how the new system Worked. Afterwards, the employees got a chance to ask questions. Cecelia: So, In a nutshell, those are the Features of the ... Читать далее...
13. Wiring Money to Another CountryMahmoud: My brother emailed about an Emergency situation. He needs $300 by tomorrow, but how can I get Cash to him within 24 hours if I’m here in Mexico City and he’s in New York? Sharon: That’s easy. You can Wire him the money from here and he can pick it up immediately there. Mahmoud: ... Читать далее...
14. Wiring Money to Another CountryMahmoud: My brother emailed about an Emergency situation. He needs $300 by tomorrow, but how can I get Cash to him within 24 hours if I’m here in Mexico City and he’s in New York? Sharon: That’s easy. You can Wire him the money from here and he can pick it up immediately there. Mahmoud: ... Читать далее...
15. Here’s How Much Walmart Loses Every Year to TheftWalmart is fighting back against «unknown shrinkage». When you’re a company as big as Walmart, everything about you is huge, even your losses from shoplifting. The retailing giant says that it loses about $3 billion every year from theft, or 1% of its $300 billion in revenue, Reuters reports. Leading the effort to fight back ... Читать далее...
16. Значение идиомы room service[room service] {n.} Service provided to hotel guests in theirrooms. Also: The hotel workers who give this service. We called forroom service when we wanted ice. Room service will install a TVset in your room upon demand....
17. Opening a Bank AccountI decided to Switch banks recently, and after looking at my options, I Went for Mar Vista National Bank. I Drove over to the bank, parked next to the Drive-through teller lanes, and walked inside. I made my way to the new Accounts desk, and was greeted by John, one of the customer service representatives ... Читать далее...
18. Planning for RetirementPaulina: Did you get your Social Security statement? I just got mine in the mail. If I keep working at this rate for the next 20 years, between Social Security and my Savings, I should be Sitting pretty for Retirement. Carlos: Yeah, I should be okay when I retire, too. I’ve been contributing to a ... Читать далее...
19. TactfullnessThe contemplative routine of the convent was being disrupted by the presence of workmen converting the electrical service from overhead lines to buried cable. Mother Superior called the electric company’s complaint department to ask for help. «The profanity these men use constantly is unsuitable for our community. You must make them stop cursing so much.», ... Читать далее...
20. Значение идиомы read the riot act[read the riot act] {v. phr.} To give someone a strong warning orscolding. Three boys were late to class and the teacher read theriot act to them....
21. Carrier Pigeon Faster Than Broadband InternetIn South Africa, a carrier pigeon carrying a 4GB memory stick proved to be faster than the ADSL service from the country’s biggest web firm, Telkom. Winston the pigeon took one hour and eight minutes to carry the data across the 60-mile course, and it took another hour to upload the data. During the same ... Читать далее...
22. Перевод слова immediatelyImmediately — непосредственно, немедленно Перевод слова In the years immediately ahead — в ближайшие годы it does not affect me immediately — это меня непосредственно не касается to reply immediately — моментально реагировать They fell to work Immediately. Они сразу взялись за работу. The police Immediately ringed the building. Полиция в один момент окружила здание. ... Читать далее...
23. The WORK virusThere is a new virus. The code name is WORK. If you receive WORK from your colleagues, your boss, via e-mail, or from anyone else, do not touch it under any circumstances. This virus wipes out your private life completely. If you should happen to come in contact with this virus, take five friends and ... Читать далее...
24. Computers are femaleThe top six reasons computers must be female: 6. As soon as you have one, a better one is just around the corner. 5. No one but the creator understands the internal logic. 4. Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference. 3. The native language used to communicate with other ... Читать далее...
25. Mental DisordersDr. Miao: At Berthiaume College, we take Mental health issues very seriously. That’s why we have so many mental health services on campus. Dean: Such as? Dr. Miao: Well, for example, there is a meeting tonight of our Support group for Anorexics and Bulimics. Tomorrow night, I’ll be speaking to a group of students about ... Читать далее...
26. Ending a Business RelationshipJerry: Who’s going To break the news to Tech Experts? Camila: You mean about Pulling the plug on using their services? Jerry: Yeah, the Contract we signed with them last year is almost up, and as we decided last month, we’ll be going with another company. Camila: I think we should Hold off on telling ... Читать далее...
27. A Letter from Account ReceivablesDATE COMPANY ADDRESS CITY, STATE, ZIP Attention: _____________________ Dear ____________________, Will you get off your dead ass and take care of your obligations! We are still holding the insufficient check that we called you on over a month ago. I know you told me you were waiting to get paid for a job that was ... Читать далее...
28. Types of Bank AccountsLuiz: Where are you going? Iona: I’m going to the bank to open an account. Luiz: What kind of account: a Savings account, a Checking account, or a CD? Iona: Um, I’m not sure, but I’m sure someone at the bank can help me decide. Luiz: You’ll also need to decide if you want an ... Читать далее...
29. Перевод слова serviceService — обслуживание, сервис, служба, обслуживать Перевод слова Domestic service — домашняя работа, обязанности слуги the consular service — консульская служба to service a car — обслуживать автомобиль I am glad to be of Service. Рад оказать услугу. He did a year’s military Service. Он отслужил в армии один год. I’m getting the bus home ... Читать далее...
30. Перевод слова discussionDiscussion — дискуссия, разговор Перевод слова Group discussion — групповое обсуждение to be under discussion — быть на рассмотрении to bring an issue up for discussion — выносить вопрос на обсуждение They engaged in a Discussion. Они участвовали в дискуссии. She joined a Discussion group. Она присоединилась к группе обсуждения. Some new projects came up ... Читать далее...
31. The last day working«You Know It’s Your Last Day At Work When……» You hand a bank teller an envelope, and when she asks, «What’s this?», you realize you just dropped the company’s deposit in a mailbox. A woman comes into the store, you turn to the other salesman and say, «I waited on the last fat ugly old ... Читать далее...
32. Receiving Letters and Packages in the MailCeleste: Did the mail come? Anwar: Yes, you got some Letters and a Package. Celeste: Oh, I hope that one of those Envelopes has the photos Naomi promised us. Did you notice the Postmark? Anwar: No, but they’re sitting in the hall. Celeste: Those photos are Overdue and should have been Delivered days ago. Naomi ... Читать далее...
33. LEGO Is Investing Millions To Ditch Their Oil-Based Plastics In Search Of Environmentally Friendly AlternativeLEGO’s toy dominance over the last half century has been built on petroleum-based plastics. The toy company is investing hundreds of millions of dollars dedicated to research, development and implementation of new, sustainable, raw materials to manufacture LEGO elements as well as packaging materials. By 2030, the Danish-based toy company says that their plastic bricks ... Читать далее...
34. Some police quotes«The handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch out after you wear them awhile.» «If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.» «So, you don’t know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?» «Yes sir, you can talk to the shift ... Читать далее...
35. Перевод слова socialSocial — общественный, социальный Перевод слова Social elite — сливки общества social evolution — развитие общества social expenditure — затраты на общественные нужды The old Social order has gone forever. Старый общественный порядок ушел навсегда. At the age of ten I was a Social bust. В десятилетнем возрасте я был изгоем. Social drinking may lead ... Читать далее...
36. Cancelling a ServiceDiana: You’ve reached Customer service for Bully Services. How may I help you today? Phillip: I’d like to Cancel my service. Diana: Why do you want to cancel? Phillip: I’m Switching to another company with cheaper services. I’m no longer Under contract so there should be no Early-termination penalties. Diana: Let’s take a look at ... Читать далее...
37. Talking About WealthAnton: Look at that guy. He’s been in town two weeks and he’s already Throwing his money around. Vanessa: You know as well as I do that Money talks. He’s just trying To make a splash in the business community. Anton: If that were all he was doing then I wouldn’t say anything, but he’s ... Читать далее...
38. Значение идиомы at one’s service[at one’s service] {adv. phr.} 1. Ready to serve or help you; prepared to obey your wish or command; subject to your orders. He placed himself completely at the President’s service. «Now I am at your service,» the dentist told the next patient. 2. Available for your use; at your disposal. He put a car ... Читать далее...
39. Reading MagazinesI’m The first to admit that I’m Hooked on reading magazines. I’ve been this way As long as I can remember. I love picking up magazines about different topics. Currently, I Subscribe to about six or seven magazines, although when I was getting Professional journals during my days at the university, I probably had 15 ... Читать далее...
40. Mr. Jones had hired a new secretaryMr. Jones had hired a new secretary. She was young, sweet and very polite. While taking dictation one morning, she noticed that his fly was open. Upon leaving the room she said, «Mr. Jones, your barracks door is open.» He was puzzled by her remark, but later that day he noticed that his zipper was ... Читать далее...