A young man, hired by a supermarket, reported for his first day

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1. Several weeks after a young man had been hiredSeveral weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel director’s office. «What is the meaning of this?» the director asked. «When you applied for this job, you told us you had five years experience. Now we discovered this is the first job you’ve ever held.» «Well,» the young man ... Читать далее...
2. A young peasant girl of fourteenA young peasant girl of fourteen went to work in a broom factory. After 2 months she gave the boss a two-week notice. The boss was quite unhappy to let her go since she was hard working, knew her tasks etc. He called her into his office, «But why?» he asked. «Nothin, I just wanna ... Читать далее...
3. Перевод слова supermarketSupermarket — супермаркет Перевод слова To shop at a supermarket — делать покупки в супермаркете cashier in a supermarket — кассир в супермаркете supermarket trolley — тележка в супермаркете He clerks in a Supermarket. Он работает продавцом в супермаркете. At lunchtime, I popped to the Supermarket to stock up on vital provisions. В обеденный перерыв ... Читать далее...
4. Перевод слова broomBroom — веник, метла Перевод слова Hydraulic broom — гидрометла witch’s broom — помело broom box — ящик для уборочных материалов Here’s a Broom and dustpan. Go sweep the kitchen. Вот веник и совок. Идите подметать кухню. A feeble old woman was feebly Brooming the floor. Слабая старая женщина еле-еле подметала пол. With a whisk ... Читать далее...
5. A supermarket had a sale on boneless chicken breastsA supermarket had a sale on boneless chicken breasts, and a woman I know intended to stock up. At the store, however, she was disappointed to find only a few skimpy prepackaged portions of the poultry, so she complained to the butcher. «don’t worry, ya,» he said. «I’ll pack some more trays and have them ... Читать далее...
6. Значение идиомы hired man[hired man] {n. phr.} A man employed to do jobs every day about ahouse or farm. The hired man was sick, and a lot of the dailychores were not done....
7. I was shopping at our local supermarketI was shopping at our local supermarket. When I got to the checkout line, there was a beautiful young blonde ahead of me. As she placed her groceries on the checkout stand, the bagger asked her, «Paper or plastic?» «It doesn’t matter,» she replied, «I’m bisacksual.»...
8. Mr. Jones had hired a new secretaryMr. Jones had hired a new secretary. She was young, sweet and very polite. While taking dictation one morning, she noticed that his fly was open. Upon leaving the room she said, «Mr. Jones, your barracks door is open.» He was puzzled by her remark, but later that day he noticed that his zipper was ... Читать далее...
9. A woman reported the disappearance of her husbandA woman reported the disappearance of her husband to the police. The officer looked at the guy’s photograph, questioned her, and then asked if she wanted to give her husband any message if they found him. «Yes, please» she replied. «Tell him Mother didn’t come after all.»...
10. There once was a young Irish woman who went to confessionThere once was a young Irish woman who went to confession. Upon entering the confessional she said, «Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.» The priest said, «Confess your sins and be forgiven.» The young woman said, «Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me seven times.» The priest thought long and hard ... Читать далее...
11. A girl called the police department and reported thatA girl called the police department and reported that she had been assaulted. The officer who answered the phone, asked, «When did this happen?» She replied, «Last week.» The police then asked, «Why did you wait until now to report it?» Well,» she said. «I didn’t know that I was assaulted until the check bounced.»...
12. This young lady, a flighty young thingThis young lady, a flighty young thing, got a job cleaning the bank windows in the evening after the bank closed for business. Anyway, she was up this ladder, cleaning good and proper and as she was in the habit of wearing no knickers, every young man who would come along would stop and stare ... Читать далее...
13. The Yugoslav news agency Tanjug reported thatThe Yugoslav news agency Tanjug reported that Yugoslavian air defenses had shot down a NATO F-16 just after nightfall while the jet was on a bombing run. The plane crashed into an empty field, creating a huge crater. Serbian search and rescue workers have recovered 307 bodies so far, proving that NATO is using Albanian ... Читать далее...
14. A young schoolboy was having a hard time pronouncingA young schoolboy was having a hard time pronouncing the letter «R,» and all the other kids were, of course, teasing him about it. To help him out, the teacher gave him a sentence to practice at home: «Robert gave Richard a rap in the ribs for roasting the rabbit so rare.» In class a ... Читать далее...
15. The Young Mans Big MouthThe Young Man’s Big Mouth A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants. «Well,» he said, «I’ve been seeing this girl for a while and she’s really hot. I want the condoms ... Читать далее...
16. Man walks into a supermarket and buysMan walks into a supermarket and buys : 1 bar of soap 1 toothbrush 1 tube toothpaste 1 loaf of bread 1 pint of milk 1 single serving cereal 1 single serving frozen dinner The girl at the checkout looks at him and says «Single are you?» The man replies very sarcastically «How did you ... Читать далее...
17. The bank manager was in the final stages of hiringThe bank manager was in the final stages of hiring a cashierand was down to two final applicants — one of which would get the job. The first one interviewed was from a small college in upstate New York. A nice young man, but a bit timid. Then he called for the second man, «Jim ... Читать далее...
18. The hotel Astor had hired a new bus driverThe hotel Astor had hired a new bus driver and instructed him to meet all incoming trains and announce at the depot in a very loud voice, «Free bus to the hotel Astor!» On the way to the station on his first trip her kept repeating to himself, «Free bus to the hotel Astor, Free ... Читать далее...
19. A bar nameA guy walks into a store and says to the managaer «why doesn’t your store have a name», the store manager says «I haven’t thought of one yet but I think u can help me, what’s your girlfriend’s name.» The guy says «Jenny» then the store owner says «What’s do you like most about Jenny» ... Читать далее...
20. Значение идиомы crack a smile[crack a smile] {v. phr.}, {informal} To let a smile show on one’s face; permit a smile to appear. Bob told the whole silly story without even cracking a smile. Scrooge was a gloomy man, who never cracked a smile. When we gave the shy little boy an ice cream cone, he finally cracked a ... Читать далее...
21. I’ll use my Seeing Eye DogA blind man with a seeing eye dog at his side walks into a grocery store. The man walks to the middle of the store, picks up the dog by the tail, and starts swinging the dog around in circles over his head. The store manager, who has seen all this, thinks this is quite ... Читать далее...
22. Passing a parrotA lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store. The parrot said to her, «Hey lady, you are really ugly.» Well, the lady is furious! She stormed past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same ... Читать далее...
23. A young wife, her boorish husband and a young good lookingA young wife, her boorish husband and a young good looking sailor were shipwrecked on an island. One morning, the sailor climbed a tall coconut tree and yelled, «Stop making love down there!» «What’s the matter with you?» the husband said when the sailor climbed down. «We weren’t making love.» «Sorry,» said the sailor, «From ... Читать далее...
24. Перевод слова sweepSweep — подметать, мести, сносить Перевод слова To sweep the floor — подметать пол to sweep out the room — подмести в комнате to sweep the chimneys — чистить дымоходы Please Sweep the floor Пожалуйста, подмети пол I need to Sweep the kitchen. Мне нужно подмести кухню. The crowd Swept me to the exit. Толпа ... Читать далее...
25. Перевод слова youngYoung — молодой, юный Перевод слова Robust young man — здоровый крепкий юноша young fellow — молодой человек young idea — свежая идея A Young cat is a kitten. Маленькую кошку называют котенком. He looks Young for his age. Он выглядит молодо для своего возраста. The lioness fought to protect her Young. Львица дралась, чтобы ... Читать далее...
26. The young lady admired the watch in the store windowThe young lady admired the watch in the store window every time she walked by it. She finally entered the shop one day and said, «Just how much is that watch?» «It’s $2000, ma’am.» «Hmmm. Well, would you consider time payments for it?» «Just what sort of ‘time schedule’ did you have in mind?» «I ... Читать далее...
27. The young couple was engaged in a most affectionateThe young couple was engaged in a most affectionate embrace when there came the sound of a key in the front door. The young lady broke away at once, eyes wide with alarm. «Heavens,» she cried, «it’s my husband! Quick, jump out the window.» The young man, equally alarmed, made a quick step toward the ... Читать далее...
28. The Supermarket CheckoutI went to the supermarket to do my weekly shopping. The Cashiers at this market are usually pretty friendly, but this one must have been having a hard day. Cashier: Excuse me, sir, this Lane is for 15 items or less. It looks like you have more than that. Yong: No, actually I have exactly ... Читать далее...
29. The Supermarket CheckoutI went to the supermarket to do my weekly shopping. The Cashiers at this market are usually pretty friendly, but this one must have been having a hard day. Cashier: Excuse me, sir, this Lane is for 15 items or less. It looks like you have more than that. Yong: No, actually I have exactly ... Читать далее...
30. A young bloke has started work on a propertyA young bloke has started work on a property, and the boss sends him up the back paddocks to do some fencing work, but come evening he’s half an hour late. The boss gets on the CB radio to check if he’s all right. «I’ve got a problem, Boss. I’m stuck ‘ere. I’ve hit a ... Читать далее...
31. An old man of 70 married a young girl of 18An old man of 70 married a young girl of 18. When they got into bed the night after the wedding, he held up three fingers. «Oh honey», said the young nymph, «Does that mean we’re going to do it three times?» «No», said the old man, «It means you can take your pick.»...
32. A young man was staying on a farm with his uncle and auntA young man was staying on a farm with his uncle and aunt for the summer. One morning the aunt and uncle walked in the kitchen and the young man was drinking an extremely large glass of milk. The young man said «I took the liberty of milking your cow this morning!» He then continues ... Читать далее...
33. A young boy, about eight years old, was at the cornerA young boy, about eight years old, was at the corner «Mom & Pop» grocery picking out a pretty good size box of laundry detergent. The grocer walked over, and, trying to be friendly, asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do. «Oh, no laundry,» the boy said, «I’m going to ... Читать далее...
34. About my motherDear Caroline, I hope you’re well and I apologise for not having written before. Unfortunately, I haven’t had a lot of time, I have been busy with lessons at school. Anyway, I have read your message and I have known that you interested by my mother! Ooh, first of all, I want to say that ... Читать далее...
35. Значение идиомы once-over[once-over] {n.}, {slang} 1. A quick look; a swift examination ofsomeone or something. — Usually used with «give» or «get». The newboy got the once-over from the rest of the class when he came in. Bob gave his paper the once-over before handing it in. 2. or[once-over-lightly] A quick or careless job, especially of cleaning ... Читать далее...
36. One day this old man was about to have sex with a young girlOne day this old man was about to have sex with a young girl which he did not know. The old man began to put on his condom when the young girl asked him why is he putting one on. She said «you don’t have to worry about getting me pregnant because you are too ... Читать далее...
37. A young punk gets on the cross-town busA young punk gets on the cross-town bus. He’s got spiked, multicoloured hair that’s green, purple and orange. His clothes are a tattered mix of leather rags. His legs are bare and he’s wearing worn-out shoes. His entire face and body are riddled with pierced jewellery and his earring are big, bright feathers. He sits ... Читать далее...
38. A young girl had not been feeling wellA young girl had not been feeling well and went to her family doctor. «Young lady,» the doctor began, «you’re pregnant.» «But that can’t be. The only men I’ve been with are nudists and in, our colony we practice sex only with our eyes.» «Well my dear,» said the doctor, «someone in that colony is ... Читать далее...
39. The young playboy took a blind date to anThe young playboy took a blind date to an amusement park. They went for a ride on the Ferris wheel. The ride completed, she seemed rather bored. «What would you like to do next?» he asked. «I wanna be weighed,» she said. So the young man took her over to the weight guesser. «One-twelve,» said ... Читать далее...
40. A young lady walks into a doctors officeA young lady walks into a doctors office. «Doctor I’m suffering from a terrible discharge» The Doctor lays her down lifts up her dress and has a good probe around and says «how does that feel?» Young lady, «Oooh doctor that feels lovely….. …but the discharge is from my ear!!»...