A young man, hired by a supermarket, reported for his first day

Related topics:

1. Several weeks after a young man had been hired Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel director’s office. “What is the meaning of this?” the director asked. “When you applied for this job, you told us you had five years experience. Now we discovered this is the first job you’ve ever held.” “Well,” the young man […]...
2. A young peasant girl of fourteen A young peasant girl of fourteen went to work in a broom factory. After 2 months she gave the boss a two-week notice. The boss was quite unhappy to let her go since she was hard working, knew her tasks etc. He called her into his office, “But why?” he asked. “Nothin, I just wanna […]...
3. The bank manager was in the final stages of hiring The bank manager was in the final stages of hiring a cashierand was down to two final applicants – one of which would get the job. The first one interviewed was from a small college in upstate New York. A nice young man, but a bit timid. Then he called for the second man, “Jim […]...
4. Mr. Jones had hired a new secretary Mr. Jones had hired a new secretary. She was young, sweet and very polite. While taking dictation one morning, she noticed that his fly was open. Upon leaving the room she said, “Mr. Jones, your barracks door is open.” He was puzzled by her remark, but later that day he noticed that his zipper was […]...
5. Значение идиомы hired man [hired man] {n. phr.} A man employed to do jobs every day about ahouse or farm. The hired man was sick, and a lot of the dailychores were not done....
6. The Young Mans Big Mouth The Young Man’s Big Mouth A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants. “Well,” he said, “I’ve been seeing this girl for a while and she’s really hot. I want the condoms […]...
7. A woman reported the disappearance of her husband A woman reported the disappearance of her husband to the police. The officer looked at the guy’s photograph, questioned her, and then asked if she wanted to give her husband any message if they found him. “Yes, please” she replied. “Tell him Mother didn’t come after all.”...
8. Passing a parrot A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store. The parrot said to her, “Hey lady, you are really ugly.” Well, the lady is furious! She stormed past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same […]...
9. I was shopping at our local supermarket I was shopping at our local supermarket. When I got to the checkout line, there was a beautiful young blonde ahead of me. As she placed her groceries on the checkout stand, the bagger asked her, “Paper or plastic?” “It doesn’t matter,” she replied, “I’m bisacksual.”...
10. Перевод слова broom Broom – веник, метла Перевод слова Hydraulic broom – гидрометла witch’s broom – помело broom box – ящик для уборочных материалов Here’s a Broom and dustpan. Go sweep the kitchen. Вот веник и совок. Идите подметать кухню. A feeble old woman was feebly Brooming the floor. Слабая старая женщина еле-еле подметала пол. With a whisk […]...
11. This young lady, a flighty young thing This young lady, a flighty young thing, got a job cleaning the bank windows in the evening after the bank closed for business. Anyway, she was up this ladder, cleaning good and proper and as she was in the habit of wearing no knickers, every young man who would come along would stop and stare […]...
12. A young boy, about eight years old, was at the corner A young boy, about eight years old, was at the corner “Mom & Pop” grocery picking out a pretty good size box of laundry detergent. The grocer walked over, and, trying to be friendly, asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do. “Oh, no laundry,” the boy said, “I’m going to […]...
13. A supermarket had a sale on boneless chicken breasts A supermarket had a sale on boneless chicken breasts, and a woman I know intended to stock up. At the store, however, she was disappointed to find only a few skimpy prepackaged portions of the poultry, so she complained to the butcher. “don’t worry, ya,” he said. “I’ll pack some more trays and have them […]...
14. There was a boy who worked in the produce section of the market There was a boy who worked in the produce section of the market. One day, a man came in and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce, but the man replied that he did not need a whole head, but only a […]...
15. A young Indian boy came back to the reservation A young Indian boy came back to the reservation for a family visit after his first year at college. When his dad asked him about his first year at school, he said: I’m having trouble with people making fun of me, especially my Indian name. How did you come to give your children such odd […]...
16. The hotel Astor had hired a new bus driver The hotel Astor had hired a new bus driver and instructed him to meet all incoming trains and announce at the depot in a very loud voice, “Free bus to the hotel Astor!” On the way to the station on his first trip her kept repeating to himself, “Free bus to the hotel Astor, Free […]...
17. A young priest, who is still unsure of the penance to dole out A young priest, who is still unsure of the penance to dole out during confession, asks an older priest what he should give a cocksucker. “Oh,” says the older priest, “give the altar boy a dollar or so, if you feel like it. Personally, I never give them more than fifty cents.”...
18. I’ll use my Seeing Eye Dog A blind man with a seeing eye dog at his side walks into a grocery store. The man walks to the middle of the store, picks up the dog by the tail, and starts swinging the dog around in circles over his head. The store manager, who has seen all this, thinks this is quite […]...
19. A bar name A guy walks into a store and says to the managaer “why doesn’t your store have a name”, the store manager says “I haven’t thought of one yet but I think u can help me, what’s your girlfriend’s name.” The guy says “Jenny” then the store owner says “What’s do you like most about Jenny” […]...
20. Beware of dog! Upon entering the little country store, the stranger noticed a sign saying DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG! posted on the glass door. Inside he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register. He asked the store manager, “Is THAT the dog folks are supposed to beware of?” “Yep, that’s him,” […]...
21. A girl called the police department and reported that A girl called the police department and reported that she had been assaulted. The officer who answered the phone, asked, “When did this happen?” She replied, “Last week.” The police then asked, “Why did you wait until now to report it?” Well,” she said. “I didn’t know that I was assaulted until the check bounced.”...
22. A young wife, her boorish husband and a young good looking A young wife, her boorish husband and a young good looking sailor were shipwrecked on an island. One morning, the sailor climbed a tall coconut tree and yelled, “Stop making love down there!” “What’s the matter with you?” the husband said when the sailor climbed down. “We weren’t making love.” “Sorry,” said the sailor, “From […]...
23. The modest young lass had just purchased some lingerie The modest young lass had just purchased some lingerie and asked if she might have the sentence, “If you can read this you’re too damn close” embroidered on her panties and bra. “Yes Madame,” said the clerk. “I’m quite certain that could be done. Would you prefer block or script letters?” “Braille,” she replied....
24. A very homely young woman made an appointment with a psychiatrist A very homely young woman made an appointment with a psychiatrist. She walked into his office and said, “Doctor, I’m so depressed and lonely. I don’t have any friends, no man will come near me, and everybody laughs at me. Can you help me accept my ugliness?” “I’m sure I can,” the psychiatrist replied. “Just […]...
25. Перевод слова young Young – молодой, юный Перевод слова Robust young man – здоровый крепкий юноша young fellow – молодой человек young idea – свежая идея A Young cat is a kitten. Маленькую кошку называют котенком. He looks Young for his age. Он выглядит молодо для своего возраста. The lioness fought to protect her Young. Львица дралась, чтобы […]...
26. The young lady admired the watch in the store window The young lady admired the watch in the store window every time she walked by it. She finally entered the shop one day and said, “Just how much is that watch?” “It’s $2000, ma’am.” “Hmmm. Well, would you consider time payments for it?” “Just what sort of ‘time schedule’ did you have in mind?” “I […]...
27. A young lady asked the Scotsman what he wore under his kilt A young lady asked the Scotsman what he wore under his kilt. “Reach up there and find out.” She did, but quickly pulled her hand back out and said, “Oh, it’s gruesome!” “Aye, it has,” replied the Scotsman, “and if you put your hand back up there, it’ll grow some more!”...
28. Перевод слова college College – колледж Перевод слова College diploma – диплом об окончании колледжа college graduate – выпускник колледжа the cloistered atmosphere of a small college – замкнутая атмосфера маленького колледжа He studied film in College. Он изучал кино в колледже. I started College last week. Я поступил в колледж на прошлой неделе. We met each other […]...
29. The young immigrant couple had just left the The young immigrant couple had just left the courthouse after being sworn in as American citizens. “It is wonderful,” the husband exclaimed. “We are American citizens at last! Do you know what this means to us my dear wife?” “Yes, you male chauvinist pig,” his wife replied. “Tonight, you cook dinner and I get on […]...
30. Studly young Romeo and his dimwitted college sidekick Studly young Romeo and his dimwitted college sidekick are perched near the front door of the girls’ dorm. Several plain Janes walk by as the two converse. Then a Sharon Stone look-alike emerges from the dorm and saunters past. Romeo turns, smiles, and – barely audibly – inquires, “Tickle your ass with a feather?” The […]...
31. After church on Sunday morning, a young boy After church on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, “Mom, I’ve decided I’m going to be a minister when I grow up. “That’s okay with us,” the mother said, “But what made you decide to be a minister?” “Well,” the boy replied, “I’ll have to go to church on Sunday anyway, […]...
32. MD Qs and As What does a graduate student with a science degree ask? “Why does it work?” What does a graduate student with an engineering degree ask? “How does it work?” What does a graduate student with an accounting degree ask? “How much will it cost?” What does a graduate student with a liberal arts degree ask? “Do […]...
33. Some things never change I guess some things will never change. I hired a temp while my secretary was on maternity leave. Trying to arrive at an agreeable wage, I asked what she expected to earn. She said, “Well… the minimum I could work for is four hundred a week.” I told her I’d give her that much with […]...
34. The young couple was engaged in a most affectionate The young couple was engaged in a most affectionate embrace when there came the sound of a key in the front door. The young lady broke away at once, eyes wide with alarm. “Heavens,” she cried, “it’s my husband! Quick, jump out the window.” The young man, equally alarmed, made a quick step toward the […]...
35. A young bloke has started work on a property A young bloke has started work on a property, and the boss sends him up the back paddocks to do some fencing work, but come evening he’s half an hour late. The boss gets on the CB radio to check if he’s all right. “I’ve got a problem, Boss. I’m stuck ‘ere. I’ve hit a […]...
36. Marrying Young Irene: Damon and his girlfriend just got Engaged. They’re planning on getting Married this summer. Ken: They’re too young! Marrying young Poses all kinds of problems. Irene: Such as? Ken: Such as the two of them lacking Maturity. They may think it’s fun To play house right now, but they’re not prepared to face the […]...
37. A young schoolboy was having a hard time pronouncing A young schoolboy was having a hard time pronouncing the letter “R,” and all the other kids were, of course, teasing him about it. To help him out, the teacher gave him a sentence to practice at home: “Robert gave Richard a rap in the ribs for roasting the rabbit so rare.” In class a […]...
38. A young man took a girl out to dinner and a show A young man took a girl out to dinner and a show. They got along very well, and when he asked her if she would like to come up to his apartment for a drink she agreed. After they were at the apartment a while, he asked if he could give her an old fashioned […]...
39. A young man was staying on a farm with his uncle and aunt A young man was staying on a farm with his uncle and aunt for the summer. One morning the aunt and uncle walked in the kitchen and the young man was drinking an extremely large glass of milk. The young man said “I took the liberty of milking your cow this morning!” He then continues […]...
40. An old man of 70 married a young girl of 18 An old man of 70 married a young girl of 18. When they got into bed the night after the wedding, he held up three fingers. “Oh honey”, said the young nymph, “Does that mean we’re going to do it three times?” “No”, said the old man, “It means you can take your pick.”...