A young schoolboy was having a hard time pronouncing

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1. During the World War II During the World War II, an American warship was attacked by the Japanese. A torpedo was heading towards the ship and a hit seemed inevitable. So the captain told the navigator to go down to the crew quarters and tell a joke or something – at least they would die laughing. The navigator went down […]...
2. The modest young lass had just purchased some lingerie The modest young lass had just purchased some lingerie and asked if she might have the sentence, “If you can read this you’re too damn close” embroidered on her panties and bra. “Yes Madame,” said the clerk. “I’m quite certain that could be done. Would you prefer block or script letters?” “Braille,” she replied....
3. Перевод слова recite Recite – декламировать, излагать Перевод слова To recite dull cases – распространяться о всяких скучных случаях to recite poetry – декламировать стихи, читать стихи наизусть to recite dull anecdotes – рассказывать скучные истории He began to Recite from the Koran. Он начал цитировать Коран. Do you know the poem well enough to Recite it? Достаточно […]...
4. The golf course A man playing on a new golf course got confused as to what hole he was on. He saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her and asked if she knew what hole he was playing. She replied, “I’m on the 7th hole, and you’re a hole behind me, so you […]...
5. Значение идиомы misty-eyed [misty-eyed] or [dewey-eyed] {adj. phr.} 1. Having eyes damp withtears; emotional. The teacher was misty-eyed when the school gaveher a retirement gift. 2. Of the kind who cries easily; sentimental. The movie appealed to dewey-eyed girls....
6. When the boy started Kindergarten, the teacher When the boy started Kindergarten, the teacher asked all the children to give their first name. When she got to the little boy in the second row, he said: “I’ll give you a hint. First it’s in your hand, then it’s in your mouth, and then it’s in your tummy.” The teacher smiled and said: […]...
7. One day a little boy over heard his parents One day a little boy over heard his parents in the bedrooom arguing, “You bitch, your cunt is too hairy! Whell your dick is to small bastard!” The boy was curious about these new words so he went in the room and asked what they meant. The startled parents did their best to get out […]...
8. Late one night, little Johnny woke up to the some loud noises Late one night, little Johnny woke up to the some loud noises coming from his parents’ bedroom. He got out of bed and walked down the hall towards his parents room. Before he made it to the end of the hall, the noises had ceased and the bathroom light had gone on. Little Johnny walked […]...
9. A young female teacher was giving an assignment A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her Grade 6 class one day. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys in the class. She quickly turned and asked, “What’s so funny Pat?” “Well teacher, I just […]...
10. A young man, hired by a supermarket, reported for his first day A young man, hired by a supermarket, reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, “Your first job will be to sweep out the store.” “But I’m a college graduate.” the young man replied indignantly. “Oh, I’m sorry. I […]...
11. A young boy, about eight years old, was at the corner A young boy, about eight years old, was at the corner “Mom & Pop” grocery picking out a pretty good size box of laundry detergent. The grocer walked over, and, trying to be friendly, asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do. “Oh, no laundry,” the boy said, “I’m going to […]...
12. One day a teacher was teaching religion One day a teacher was teaching religion, when she asked the class “What part of your body do you think goes up to heaven first?” Two children rose their hand. One was little Johnny. Hesitant to pick on him she chose little Mary. “I think your heart goes first because, that’s were your emotions of […]...
13. Several weeks after a young man had been hired Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel director’s office. “What is the meaning of this?” the director asked. “When you applied for this job, you told us you had five years experience. Now we discovered this is the first job you’ve ever held.” “Well,” the young man […]...
14. Перевод слова loud Loud – громкий, шумный Перевод слова Loud groan – громкий стон loud guffaw – громкий хохот streets loud with life – оживленные шумные улицы Don’t ask so Loud. Не задавайте вопросов так громко. The more Tom drank, the Louder he became. Чем больше Том пил, тем громче он становился. He gave a Loud laugh. Он […]...
15. Ear Little Johnny was in a spelling bee in class. He had to spell the word and use it in a sentence. The teacher asked him to please spell the word EAR. Little Johnny stood up and proudly said EAR E, A, R. Then to use it in a sentence he pretended to take a big […]...
16. Charlie was in a bar and three babes came up and Charlie was in a bar and three babes came up and started hitting on him. He asked if they wanted to come over to his house later. They agreed to come over at after they went home and got ready. Charlie had a friend who worked in a drugstore, so he went to see him. […]...
17. A fellow picked up a girl in a bar and took her home with him A fellow picked up a girl in a bar and took her home with him. After some preliminary drinks and talk, they got undressed, climbed into bed and generally got organized for a leg over. After a few minutes, the girl started laughing. The fellow asked her what she found so amusing. “Your organ,” she […]...
18. Little Johnny was late for school Little Johnny was late for school. When he finally got there his teacher asked, “Why are you late little Johnny?” Johnny replied, “My grandpa got burnt, Miss.” The teacher replied, “I hope it wasn’t too bad.” Then little Johnny said, “Don’t worry, the crematorium doesn’t muck around!”...
19. Little Mermaid Three fellows walking along the beach noticed a mermaid sitting on a rock swishing her tail in the foam. The first man waded out to her and said, Hello mermaid! Have you ever been kissed?” She replied, “no sir!” So he kissed her quite thoroughly and asked, “Did you like that?” “Oh, indeed I did, […]...
20. Значение идиомы round-eyed [round-eyed] or [wide-eyed] also [large-eyed] {adj.} Very muchsurprised; astonished; awed. The people were round-eyed when theylearned what the computer could do. The children were wide-eyed atthe sight of the Christmas tree and didn’t make a sound....
21. A young lady asked the Scotsman what he wore under his kilt A young lady asked the Scotsman what he wore under his kilt. “Reach up there and find out.” She did, but quickly pulled her hand back out and said, “Oh, it’s gruesome!” “Aye, it has,” replied the Scotsman, “and if you put your hand back up there, it’ll grow some more!”...
22. What God looks like A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, “I’m drawing God.” The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows […]...
23. Drawing God A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She walked around to look at the artwork. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, “I’m drawing God.” The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows what God […]...
24. While attending a spelling session in school one day While attending a spelling session in school one day, The teacher asked if anyone could spell the word DUMB? Darla raises her hand and says “I can, I can” The teacher replies, “OK, go ahead Darla…” Darla replies…”D-U-M-B” The teacher replies, “very good”, and “can you use that word in a sentence?” Darla replies, “Sure, […]...
25. Laboratory Rabbit Freedom Laboratory Rabbit Freedom A rabbit one day managed to break free from the laboratory where he had been born and brought up. As he scurried away from the fencing of the compound, he felt grass under his little feet and saw the dawn breaking for the first time in his life. ‘Wow, this is great,’ […]...
26. Mysterious picture After a wonderful night of love making, the young guy rolled over and was looking around when he noticed a framed picture of another man on a desk in the distance. Naturally, the guy began to worry. “Is that your husband?” he inquired nervously. “No, silly,” she replied, snuggling up to him. “Your boyfriend then?” […]...
27. Значение идиомы off the top of one’s head [off the top of one’s head] {adv.} or {adj. phr.}, {informal}Without thinking hard; quickly. Vin answered the teacher’s questionoff the top of his head. When Lorraine was asked to recite, shetalked off the top of her head....
28. Little Johnny walked into his dad’s bedroom Little Johnny walked into his dad’s bedroom one day only catch him sitting on the side of his bed sliding a condom onto his dick in preparation of fucking his wife. Johnny’s father in attempt to hide his full erection with a condom on it bent over as if to look under the bed. Little […]...
29. Значение идиомы eye [eye] See: APPLE OF ONE’S EYE, BAT AN EYE or BAT AN EYELASH, BELIEVE ONE’S EYES, CATCH ONE’S EYE, CLEAR-EYED, CLOSE ONE’S EYES orSHUT ONE’S EYES, EYES OPEN, EYE OUT, EYE TO, FEAST ONE’S EYES ON, FOUR-EYES, GET THE EYE, GIVE THE EYE, GREEN-EYED MONSTER, HALF AN EYE, HAVE AN EYE ON, HAVE EYES ONLY […]...
30. Young naval student A young naval student was being put through the paces by an old sea captain. “What would you do if a sudden storm sprang up on the starboard?” “Throw out an anchor, sir,” the student replied. “What would you do if another storm sprang up aft?” “Throw out another anchor, sir.” “And if another terrific […]...
31. There was three guys, one with a rubber There was three guys, one with a rubber dick, one with a wooden dick, and one with a nine foot dick. The guy with the rubber dick couldn’t have sex because it wasn’t hard. The guy with the wooden dick couldn’t have sex because the other person would get splinters. Finally, the third guy with […]...
32. Little Johnny was in class again Little Johnny was in class again. Teacher asked everyone “Can anyone tell me a sentence with the word definitely in it?” Meg puts up her hand.”The sky is definitely blue.” “Thats not bad, Meg,” says the teacher, “but the sky can be grey or red.” Young Sally tried :”The grass is definitely green.” “Good try […]...
33. Death of Energizer Bunny The world was stunned by the news, this morning, of the death of the Energizer Bunny. He was six years old. Authorities believe that the death occurred at approximately 8:42PM last evening. Best known as the irritating pink bunny that kept going and going and going, “Pinkie” as he was known to his friends and […]...
34. Tarantino This guy comes into a bar walks to the bartender and says” Bartender, I got a bet for you. I’ll bet you $300 that I can piss into that glass over there and not spill a drop.” The bartender looks at the glass. It’s 3 meters away. He says……”You’re telling me you’ll bet me $300 […]...
35. About Steve who wants to know about somethings In one day Steve came to the bathroon, when his father was washing. And Steve has seen dad’s dick and said: “Dad, what is this?” His father nervously said: “Well Steve, it’s sausage”. After week he, suddenly, has seen his mum’s cunt and said: “Mum, what is this?”. His mum: “Well, it’s a cat”. After […]...
36. A young peasant girl of fourteen A young peasant girl of fourteen went to work in a broom factory. After 2 months she gave the boss a two-week notice. The boss was quite unhappy to let her go since she was hard working, knew her tasks etc. He called her into his office, “But why?” he asked. “Nothin, I just wanna […]...
37. A young man took a girl out to dinner and a show A young man took a girl out to dinner and a show. They got along very well, and when he asked her if she would like to come up to his apartment for a drink she agreed. After they were at the apartment a while, he asked if he could give her an old fashioned […]...
38. A word play A teacher asked her students to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence. Mary said, “My family went to the New York City Zoo, and we saw all the animals. It was fascinating.” The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted the word “‘fascinate.'” Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to […]...
39. A young woman visited her doctor complaining of a bed wetting problem A young woman visited her doctor complaining of a bed wetting problem. The doctor asked her the usual questions and then asked her to go behind the screen and remove her clothes. She was a bit shocked but went ahead anyway. When she was undressed he asked her to stand on her hands in front […]...
40. A young mother paying a visit to a doctor A young mother paying a visit to a doctor friend and his wife made no attempt to restrain her five-year-old son, who was ransacking an adjoining room. But finally, an extra loud clatter of bottles did prompt her to say, “I hope, doctor, you don’t mind Johnny being in there.” “No,” said the doctor calmly, […]...