A woman was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet

Related topics:

1. A young woman visited her doctor complaining of a bed wetting problemA young woman visited her doctor complaining of a bed wetting problem. The doctor asked her the usual questions and then asked her to go behind the screen and remove her clothes. She was a bit shocked but went ahead anyway. When she was undressed he asked her to stand on her hands in front ... Читать далее...
2. A woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnantA woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnant. This is her first pregnancy. The doctor asks her if she has any questions. She replies, «Well, I’m a little worried about the pain. How much will childbirth hurt?» The doctor answered, «Well, that varies from woman to woman and pregnancy to pregnancy ... Читать далее...
3. The doctor looked at the woman who had come to himThe doctor looked at the woman who had come to him for an examination. «Mrs. Brown, I have some good news for you.» The woman said, «I’m glad to hear that doctor, but I’m Miss Brown, not Mrs.» «Oh. Well, in that case Miss Brown,» said the doctor without changing expression, «I have some bad ... Читать далее...
4. Перевод слова dietDiet — диета, питание Перевод слова Frugal diet — скудное питание reducing diet — диета для снижения веса special diet — индивидуальная диета My doctor said I should vary my Diet more. Мой врач сказал, что мне следует еще больше разнообразить мой рацион. She went on an extreme Diet. Она пошла на жесткую диету. Fish ... Читать далее...
5. The doctor looked benignly at the woman who had come to himThe doctor looked benignly at the woman who had come to him for an examination. «Mrs. Brown,» he said, «I have some good news for you.» The woman said, «I’m glad of that doctor, but I’m Miss Brown,» «Miss Brown,» said the doctor without changing expression, «I have bad news for you.»...
6. A woman had some problems, so she went to her doctorA woman had some problems, so she went to her doctor of twenty years. They had the following conversation: Dr.: Take the red pill after breakfast with one glass of water. Woman: Ok. Dr: Take the blue pill after lunch with two glasses of water. Woman: Ok. Dr.: Take the yellow pill after dinner with ... Читать далее...
7. A woman consulted a doctorA woman consulted a doctor, explaining that for many years she sufferred from excessive flatulance, but there was never any sound or smell so she had done nothing about it until now. So the Dr. took down all of her medical history, a process that took quite a while. At the end, the woman says, ... Читать далее...
8. Going on a DietDecima: My Scale at home can’t be right. I Weighed myself this morning and I’ve Gained another five pounds since last month! Sebastian: You’re not the only one. My pants are feeling tight and it’s getting harder to see my feet! Decima: Okay, I’m making a decision right here, right now. I’m going on a ... Читать далее...
9. A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologistA beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist. The doctor takes one look at this woman and all his professionalism goes out the window. Right away he tells her to undress. After she has disrobed he begins to stroke her thigh. As he does this he says to the woman, «Do you know what I’m ... Читать далее...
10. The young lady entered the doctor’s office carrying an infantThe young lady entered the doctor’s office carrying an infant. «Doctor,» she explained, «the baby seems to be ailing. Instead of gaining weight, he lost three ounces this week.» The medic examined the child and then started to squeeze the girl’s breasts. He then unbuttoned her blouse, removed the bra and began powerfully sucking on ... Читать далее...
11. A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a gynecologistA beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a gynecologist. The doctor took one look at this woman and all his professionalism went out the window. He immediately told her to undress. After she had disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh. Doing so, he asked her, «Do you know what I’m doing?» «Yes,» she replied, ... Читать далее...
12. An elderly couple walk into a doctor officeAn elderly couple walk into a doctor’s office. The man tells the doctor, «Doctor, we want to have a baby.» The doctor replies,»At your age I don’t think it’s possible, but I’ll give you a jar, come back in a few days with a sperm sample.» So the couple comes back a few days later. ... Читать далее...
13. Steve is going on an ocean cruise, and he tells his doctorSteve is going on an ocean cruise, and he tells his doctor that he’s worried about getting real seasick. The doctor tells him, «Just eat two pounds of stewed tomatoes before you leave the dock.» Steve says, «Will that keep me from getting sick?» The doctor says, «No, but it’ll look real pretty in the ... Читать далее...
14. An old man and his wife went to the doctor for a check-upAn old man and his wife went to the doctor for a check-up. While the man is with the doctor, the doctor askes him, «So how has life been treating you?» The old man replies,»The Lord’s been good to me. Every night when I go to the bathroom, He turns the light on and when ... Читать далее...
15. A woman was thinking about finding a petA woman was thinking about finding a pet to help keep her company at home. She decided she would like to find a beautiful parrot; it wouldn’t be as much work as say a dog, and it would be fun to hear it speak. She went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large ... Читать далее...
16. An old woman came into her doctors officeAn old woman came into her doctor’s office and confessed to an embarrassing problem. «I fart all the time, Doctor Johnson, but they’re soundless, and they have no odor. In fact, since I’ve been here, I’ve farted no less than twenty times. What can I do?» «Here’s a prescription, Mrs. Harris. Take these pills three ... Читать далее...
17. Fad DietingJoel: You Don’t look so hot. Are you okay? Beatrice: I’m Perfectly fine. Joel: Oh, and you’re Grouchy, too. Don’t tell me. You’re Dieting again. Beatrice: Just leave me alone. I’m not Popping pills or anything like that. I’m just trying To shed a few Pounds the natural way. Joel: The natural way? You mean ... Читать далее...
18. A woman goes to a psychiatrist and saysA woman goes to a psychiatrist and says, «Doctor, you’ve got to do something about my husband — he thinks he’s a refrigerator!» «I wouldn’t worry too much about it,» the doctor replies. «Lots of people have harmless delusions. It will pass.» «But you don’t understand,» the woman insists. «He sleeps with his mouth open, ... Читать далее...
19. A man comes to a doctor andA man comes to a doctor and, twitching his fingers and stuttering, finally manages to say, «Doctor, I have a sexual performance problem. Can you help me?» «Oh, that’s not a problem for us men anymore!» announces a proud physician, «They just came out with this new wonder drug, Viagra, that does the trick! You ... Читать далее...
20. A new way to loose weightA fellow was reading the paper one day lamenting the fact that his doctor has ordered him to lose 75 pounds. Next thing he sees is an advertisement for a guaranteed weight loss program. Guaranteed like heck, he thinks to himself. But lets see what they think they can do. He calls them on the ... Читать далее...
21. A man goes to the doctor with a long history ofA man goes to the doctor with a long history of migraine headaches. When the doctor does his history and physical, he discovers that his poor patient has had practically every therapy known to man for his migraines and STILL no improvement. «Listen,» says the Doctor, «I have migraines, too and the advice I’m going ... Читать далее...
22. An American woman and an Iranian womanAn American woman and an Iranian woman are in the supermarket. The Iranian woman picks up two potatoes and says, «These remind me of my husband’s testicles.» The American woman says, «That big?» The Iranian woman says, No…that dirty.»...
23. Перевод идиомы go on a diet, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: go on a diet Перевод: сесть на диету Пример: I plan to go on a diet at the beginning of the year. Я собираюсь сесть на диету в начале года....
24. Ten pounds of prideA Texan bought a round of drinks for all in the bar and announced that his wife had just produced a typical Texas baby, weighing a whopping twenty pounds. «WOW!» was the response from everyone at the bar. Two weeks later the Texan returned to the bar. The bartender recognized him and asked, «Aren’t you ... Читать далее...
25. A concerned husband went to a doctor to talk about his wifeA concerned husband went to a doctor to talk about his wife. He says to the doctor, «Doctor, I think my wife is deaf because she never hears me the first time and always asks me to repeat things.» «Well,» the doctor replied, «go home and tonight stand about 15 feet from her and say ... Читать далее...
26. Jack goes to the doctor and saysJack goes to the doctor and says «Doc I’m having trouble getting my penis erect, can you help me?» After a complete examination the doctor tells Jack, «Well the problem is that the muscles around the base of your penis are damaged. There’s really nothing I can do for you unless you’re willing to try ... Читать далее...
27. A woman came to the psychiatrist worriedA woman came to the psychiatrist worried. «Doctor,» she said, «I can’t sleep at night. When I’m in the next room, I have this dreadful fear that I won’t hear the baby if he falls out of the crib at night. What should I do?» «Easy,» said the doctor. «Just take the carpet off the ... Читать далее...
28. A blonde woman competed with a brunette and redheaded womanA blonde woman competed with a brunette and redheaded woman in the Breast Stroke division of an English Channel swim competition. The brunette came in first, the redhead second. The blonde woman finally reached shore completely exhausted. After being revived with blankets and coffee, she remarked: «I don’t want to complain, but I think those ... Читать далее...
29. ‘Missing’ woman unknowingly joins search for herselfA woman who was reported missing from an Icelandic tour unwittingly joined a search for herself. According to the Reykjavik Grapevine, a woman described as «Asian, about 160cm, in dark clothing and speaks English well» was listed as missing Saturday near the Eldgjá volcanic canyon in southern Iceland. A search continued through the weekend with ... Читать далее...
30. A pregnant woman is about to give birthA pregnant woman is about to give birth. The doctor has her on the delivery table, legs up in the stirrups. Suddenly, he sees the top of a head push through. Then the baby pops its head out and says to the doctor, «Are you my dad?». The doctor says, «No, I am your doctor!». ... Читать далее...
31. A woman visits her physicianA woman visits her physician. After waiting for a while it’s finally her turn. She enters the doctors’ office and sits down. The PhD asks her: «Well, what can I do for you madam?». The patient blushes and the PhD sees that apparently she is embarrassed so he says: «You can discuss any matter with ... Читать далее...
32. This man goes into the doctor with hisThis man goes into the doctor with his ringhole in a terrible state, really bad now. Doctor: «What happened to you?» He says: «I was in Africa on safari and I got raped by an elephant!» Doctor: «But I don’t understand. Elephant penises are very narrow and couldn’t cause that much damage!» He says «Aah ... Читать далее...
33. The DietBREAKFAST 1/2 grapefruit 1 slice whole wheat toast 8 oz glass skim milk LUNCH 4 oz lean broiled chicken breast 1 cup steamed zucchini 1 Oreo cookie MID-AFTERNOON SNACK rest of the package of Oreo cookies 1 quart Rocky Road ice cream 1 jar hot fudge DINNER 2 loaves garlic bread 1 large pepperoni & ... Читать далее...
34. Пословица / поговорка just what the doctor ordered — перевод и значение, пример использованияПословица / поговорка: just what the doctor ordered Перевод: как раз то, что доктор прописал Пример: The holiday was just what the doctor ordered and the employee returned to work energetic and refreshed. Отпуск был как раз тем, что доктор прописал, и служащий вернулся на работу полный сил....
35. A woman accompanied her husband to the doctors officeA woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office. After the check-up, the doctor took the wife aside and said, «If you don’t do the following, your husband will surely die». 1.Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast and send him off to work in a good mood. 2.At lunch time, make him a warm, ... Читать далее...
36. Doctor and engineerA pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. Engineer: What’s with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes! Doctor: I don’t know, but I’ve never seen such ineptitude! Pastor: Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let’s have a word with him. [dramatic ... Читать далее...
37. A man went to the doctor for a check upA man went to the doctor for a check up. «How do you feel?» asked the doctor. «Fine.» he replied. After a few more general health questions the doctor asked, «How many times do you have sex per month?» «About two or three.» the man replied. «You should be doing better than that.» the doctor ... Читать далее...
38. The bachelor’s dietBachelor’s Diet MONDAY: BREAKFAST — Who can eat breakfast on a Monday? Swallow some toothpaste while brushing your teeth LUNCH — Send your secretary out for six «gutbombers» those little hamburgers that used to cost a dime but now cost sixty five cents. Also order French fries, a bowl of chili, a soft drink and ... Читать далее...
39. A man goes into the doctor’s office feeling really badA man goes into the doctor’s office feeling really bad. After a thorough examination the doctor calls him into his office and says «I have some bad news. You have HAGS.» «What is HAGS» the man asks. «It’s herpes, AIDS, gonorrhea, and syphilis» says the doctor. «Oh my God» says the man. «What are you ... Читать далее...
40. A man calls his family doctorA man calls his family doctor: Man: Doctor, for the last week my wife has thought that she was a rabbit. Doctor: Ok, bring her in and I’ll try to help. Man: Fine, but whatever you do, don’t cure her....