A vacationing penguin is driving through Arizona

Related topics:

1. Clinton is vacationing Last summer, the President and Mrs. Clinton were vacationing in their home state of Arkansas. On a venture one day, they stopped at a service station to fill up the car with gas. It seemed that the owner of the station was once Hillary’s high school love. They exchanged hellos, and went on their way. […]...
2. A rancher from Central Arizona died and went on A rancher from Central Arizona died and went on to the Great Beyond. As he approached the great gate, he noticed that the terrain was bare with no greenery. He remarked to the gate keeper, “Howdy Saint Peter. Say, this looks just like Arizona.” “The gatekeeper replied, “First of all, I’m not Saint Peter…and second, […]...
3. Penguin Swims 8,000KM Every Year To See The Man Who Saved His Life “Everyone said he wouldn’t return but he has been coming back to visit me for the past four years” It’s illegal for you to keep wild animals as pets in Brazil. But despite what the law may say, Dindim comes to live with his best friend, whom he met on the beaches of Brazil, every […]...
4. An attractive woman from New York was driving through a remote An attractive woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Texas when her car broke down. An Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town. She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful except that every few minutes […]...
5. Перевод слова mechanic Mechanic – механик, техник, слесарь Перевод слова Motor mechanic – автомеханик dental mechanic – зубной техник aircraft engine mechanic – авиамоторист aircraft mechanic – авиатехник He is highly regarded as a Mechanic. Его очень ценят как хорошего механика. Kelly is employed as a Mechanic. Келли работает слесарем. The Mechanic tuned the engine. Механик настроил двигатель....
6. Harry and his wife are driving in the country Harry and his wife are driving in the country when he sees a sign that says, “Cow For Sale…$5000.” He pulls in and says to the farmer, “There’s no cow in the world worth five thousand dollars.” The farmer says, Oh, yeah? Take a look at this.” He lifts the cow’s tail, and Harry sees […]...
7. Arizona Man Trades $160K Diamond for $20 Weed, Cops Say An Arizona man could have gotten himself one of the fanciest cars on the road and had money left over with what a diamond he allegedly stole was worth, but instead police say he traded the $160,000 gem for $20 worth of marijuana. Walter Earl Morrison, 20, of Phoenix, Az., was charged with felony theft […]...
8. At school Little Johnny was told by a classmate At school Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.” Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. He goes home, and as he is greeted by […]...
9. Перевод слова mess Mess – беспорядок, грязь; пачкать, портить Перевод слова In a mess – в беспорядке; вверх дном to make a mess of the tablecloth – запачкать скатерть to mess up a car – испортить машину My life’s such a Mess. Моя жизнь такой бардак. She hates Mess. Она ненавидит беспорядок. My hair is a Mess. У […]...
10. Talking to a Mechanic Mechanic: Hi, I’m the Mechanic. What can I do for you? Amy: My car is making a very weird noise. It sounds like this: gulug, gulug, gulug… Mechanic: Hm, that doesn’t sound good. Where is it coming from? Amy: I’m not sure. When I’m in the car, it sounds like it’s coming from the Engine, […]...
11. Значение идиомы grease monkey [grease monkey] {n., {slang} 1. A person who greases or works onmachinery; a mechanic or worker in a garage or gasoline station. Hey, grease monkey, fill up my gas tank! The grease monkey wasall dirty when he came out from under the car. 2. Airplane mechanic. Jack was a grease monkey in the Air Force....
12. Juggler, driving to his next performance Juggler, driving to his next performance, was stopped by the police. ‘What are those knives doing in your car?’ asked the officer. ‘I juggle them in my act.’ Oh yeah?’ says the cop. ‘Let’s see you do it.’ So the juggler starts tossing and juggling the knives. A guy driving by sees this and says, […]...
13. A man is driving down the freeway A man is driving down the freeway when he sees a sign that says; “Get gas and free sex here”. So obviously the guy was interested, so he stopped, filled up went inside to pay. “Pick a number from 1 – 10 to get free sex.” said the cashier. “Uh, okay, 3!” the man replied. […]...
14. A Lutheran minister is driving down A Lutheran minister is driving down to New York to see the radio show and he’s stopped in Connecticut for speeding. The state trooper smells alcohol on his breath and then he sees an empty wine bottle on the floor, and he says, “Sir, have you been drinking?” And the minister says, “Just water.” The […]...
15. Two nuns were driving alone out in the boonies Two nuns were driving alone out in the boonies. They ran out of gas. Fortunately they could walk to a gas station not far away, where they asked to purchase a can of gasoline. “I’m sorry, sister,” said the attendant, “but all I have for you to carry it in is an old chamber pot. […]...
16. Judi was bored with driving her BMW Judi was bored with driving her BMW. It laced individuality and besides that, every other girl in the office had one. She fancied something a bit more individual, perhaps an MG convertible. That week she visited her local car dealer and spied a beautiful Jaguar XK140 convertible. It was wonderfully restored and she fell in […]...
17. A man is driving down the road for a long period of time A man is driving down the road for a long period of time. During his travel, he sees a priest with a gas can hitch hiking, so he gladly picks him up he says,”Normally father, i dont pick up hitch hikers. You seem like a man of dignity so i thought id make an exception. […]...
18. Перевод слова cream Cream – сливки, крем Перевод слова Cream biscuit – печенье с кремом almond cream – миндальный крем cream of champagne – пена шампанского sour cream – сметана Cream has a high fat content. У крема высокая жирность. Whip the Cream until thick. Взбейте сливки до загустения. The Cream rinses off easily. Крем легко смывается....
19. What thin people do By Barbara Florio Graham From McCall’s, June, 1983, I read every diet I can get my hands on. I even follow their suggestions. But eventually, inevitably, I always get fat again. Now, at last, I’ve found The Answer. After living for almost 14 years with a man who never gains an ounce no matter what […]...
20. There is a guy from ARMY driving from West Point to the Meadowlands There’s a guy from ARMY driving from West Point to the Meadowlands, a guy from the NAVY was driving from Annapolis to the Meadowlands, and an Air Force guy who’s driving from McGwire in South Jerz to the Meadowlands just to watch the Jets. In the middle of the night with no other cars on […]...
21. A guy was driving home one evening A guy was driving home one evening when he suddenly realizes that it is his daughter’s birthday and that he hasn’t bought her anything. Out the corner of his eye he sees a shopping mall. Knowing it was “now or never”, he pulls his car through three lanes of traffic, finds a parking bay and […]...
22. Перевод слова ice-cream Ice-cream – мороженое, кремовый Перевод слова Pistachio ice-cream – фисташковое мороженое premium ice-cream – мороженое высшего сорта ice-cream suit – костюм кремового цвета ice cream vendor – торговец мороженным He was a vanilla Ice-cream man. Он был большим любителем ванильного мороженого. Can I have a lick of your Ice-cream? Можно я разок лизну твое мороженое? […]...
23. Getting a Car Serviced Sophia: Is my car ready? Mechanic: I’m finished with your Oil change and I replaced the Oil filter. I’ve also replaced the wiper Blades in your Windshield wipers. But I’ve had a good look under your hood, and your car needs a lot of work. Sophia: Really? Mechanic: Yes, you have some serious problems. I […]...
24. Значение идиомы throw up one’s hands in horror [throw up one’s hands in horror] {v. phr.} To be horrified; feelalarmed; give up hope of straightening things out; be shocked bysomething terrible. When Mrs. Brown saw the mess the children weremaking in her living room, she threw up her hands in horror. Everybody threw up their hands in horror at the destruction caused bythe […]...
25. Chemistry song 01 The Chemistry Teacher’s Coming to Town You better not weigh You better not heat You better not react I’m telling you now The Chemistry Teacher’s coming to town. He’s collecting data He’s checking it twice He’s gonna find out The heat of melting ice The Chemistry Teacher’s coming to town. He sees you when you’re […]...
26. Drinking and driving The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. The “Environmental Engineering News” published some rather sobering information about punishment for drunk driving convictions in other countries. In Australia, the names of drunk drivers are printed in newspapers under the caption, […]...
27. Перевод слова station Station – станция, пункт, пост, местоположение Перевод слова Dressing station – перевязочный пункт arctic station – арктическая станция coast-guard station – пост береговой охраны television broadcasting station – телевизионная радиостанция I’ll happily take you to the Station. Я с удовольствием подвезу вас на станцию. I placed myself on my former Station. Я встал на свое […]...
28. Soap dispenser Two priests are off to the showers late one night. They undress and step in the showers before they realize there is no soap. Father John says he has some soap in his room and goes to get it, not bothering to dress. He grabs two bars of soap in his hands and heads back […]...
29. Driving school test The following are a sampling of real answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation’s driving school. Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road? A: What for? He can’t see my license plate. Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop […]...
30. Vacationing on an Island Mohsen: I need to get off this Island. I’m getting Island fever. Ella: We’ve only been here two days. Give it a chance. We’re here to enjoy a slower Pace of life, remember? Mohsen: When you said we were going on an island vacation, I didn’t know we’d be so Isolated. There isn’t a Living […]...
31. A WOMANS SCHEDULE A WOMAN’S SCHEDULE 1. Get up. 2. Pee. 3. Drink raspberry-cranberry tea. 4. Pee. 5. Apply makeup. Pee first so you don’t have to stop in the middle. 6. Drive to work. Pee at gas station. Complain about dirty restroom. Go to a different gas station and pee there. 7. Get to work at Burger […]...
32. California Driving Test Answers The following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation’s driving school (read at Saturday Traffic School for moving violation offenders.) Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road? A: What for? He can’t see my license plate. Q: Who has the right […]...
33. A man stops by a diner at noon A man stops by a diner at noon, the busiest time of day, sits down at the counter and asks for a cup of coffee. The waitress, who is very busy, gives him his coffee and rushes off to help the numerous customers having lunch at the diner. The man, who uses both creamer and […]...
34. So this Mexican dude was taking a piss on the side of a building So this Mexican dude was taking a piss on the side of a building and this white dude sees him. After the Mexican is done the white guy asks him, “How come you Mexicans don’t wash your hands after you pee?” And the Mexican guy replies, “Because we Mexicans don’t piss in our hands”...
35. A Programmer and an Engineer are sitting next to each other A Programmer and an Engineer are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The Programmer leans over to the Engineer and asks if he would like to play a fun game. The Engineer just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window […]...
36. Значение идиомы reach for the sky [reach for the sky] {v. phr.}, {slang} 1. To put your hands highabove your head or be shot. – Usually used as a command. A holdupman walked into a gas station last night and told the attendant “Reachfor the sky!” Syn.: HANDS UP. 2. To set one’s aims high. “Whymedical technician?” asked her father. “Reach […]...
37. A suitable transplant A fellow is walking into a hospital and sees two doctors down on their hands and knees in one of the flower beds. He goes over and says, “Can I help? Have you lost something?” “No,” says one of the doctors. “We’re about to do a heart transplant on an accountant and we’re looking for […]...
38. Using the Restroom Denzel: Excuse me, where is the Restroom? Server: It’s down the hall, on your left. Denzel: Thanks. When I got into the bathroom, it was a Mess. I walked into a Stall and there was Toilet paper all over the floor. There were no Toilet seat covers and the Toilet wouldn’t Flush. Even the Toilet […]...
39. Перевод сленгового выражения sad, значение и пример использования Сленговое выражение: sad Перевод: плохого качества; плохой, жалкий, паршивенький Синоним: lame Пример: Your car is in sad shape – you really need to take it to a mechanic. Твоя машина в плохом состоянии – тебе стоит свозить ее в ремонт. Detroit is one sad town. Детройт – не самый лучший город....
40. Talking on a plane The following is supposedly a true story relating to an actual event that took place during a flight. As a Delta Air Lines jet was flying over Arizona on a clear day, the co-pilot was providing his passengers with a running commentary about landmarks over the PA system. “Coming up on the right, you can […]...