A teacher was having trouble teaching arithmetic

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1. One day a teacher was teaching religionOne day a teacher was teaching religion, when she asked the class “What part of your body do you think goes up to heaven first?” Two children rose their hand. One was little Johnny. Hesitant to pick on him she chose little Mary. “I think your heart goes first because, that’s were your emotions of […]...
2. The Teacher tells the class they are going to play a gameThe Teacher tells the class they are going to play a game, she will describe an object and the students will tell her what she had described. Teacher: “The first object is Red, Round, and has a stem.” Timmy: ” I know what it is, it’s an apple.” Teacher: “That’s right, I like the way […]...
3. Johnny missed his final exam due to the fluJohnny missed his final exam due to the flu, but he’d done so well during the year that the teacher suggests to the principal they give him an oral exam to make up for the test he’d missed. The principal agrees so they called Johnny into the office and explain about the oral test. First […]...
4. Перевод слова teachingTeaching – обучение, преподавание Перевод слова Teaching machine – обучающая машина the teachings of experience – то, что подсказывает опыт teaching profession – преподавательская деятельность Peter switched over to Teaching. Питер перешел на преподавательскую работу. Jan has a vocation for Teaching. У Яна есть склонность к преподаванию. Teaching adolescents can be quite a challenge. Обучение […]...
5. The teacher hears Little Johnny cussing, andThe teacher hears Little Johnny cussing, and gets pissed off. She goes bitching to Little Johnny’s father. She comes to Little Johnny’s house and sees Little Johnny fucking a goat in the front yard. She walks in the house and screams to his father “Your son! Your son! He cussed in the school and now….now […]...
6. In the Sex Ed class the teacher saysIn the Sex Ed class the teacher says, “All right, class, I want you to go home and come back tomorrow with as many positions as you can think of for making sex.” The next day she says to Little Johnny in the back, “Well, John, how many positions did you come up with?” Johnny […]...
7. One day in class the teacherOne day in class the teacher has sex education. On the black board she draws a penis then asks the class if any of them knows what it is. In the back of the room, Dirty Johnny stands and says “That’s a penis, and my father has two of them”. The teacher looks surprised and […]...
8. Little Johnny is coming home from the storeLittle Johnny’s is coming home from the store swinging the loaf of bread in one hand and the other hand in his pants pocket. Along come Priest Joe and he thinks to himself, “This is a good opportunity to say something from the bible to Little Johnny.” He walks up to Little Johnny and says, […]...
9. TeachingTeaching The teacher had given the class an assignment. He stresses the importance of this particular assignment, and that no excuses will be accepted except illness (with a medical certificate) or a death in the immediate family (with a note from that member). A smart-ass student pipes up: “What about extreme sexual exhaustion, sir?” The […]...
10. Перевод идиомы ask for trouble / look for trouble, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: ask for trouble / look for trouble Перевод: напрашиваться на неприятности; вести себя таким образом, который приведет к неприятностям Пример: The boy is asking for trouble if he misses another class. Этот мальчик сам напросится на неприятности, если пропустит еще одно занятие....
11. Little Johnny was in class againLittle Johnny was in class again. Teacher asked everyone “Can anyone tell me a sentence with the word definitely in it?” Meg puts up her hand.”The sky is definitely blue.” “Thats not bad, Meg,” says the teacher, “but the sky can be grey or red.” Young Sally tried :”The grass is definitely green.” “Good try […]...
12. Special High Intensity TeachingMemo to all students: In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity From students, it will be our policy to keep all students well taught through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING (S. H. I. T.). We are trying to give our students more S. H. I. T. than any […]...
13. Значение идиомы borrow trouble[borrow trouble] {v. phr.} To worry for nothing about trouble that may not come; make trouble for yourself needlessly. Don’t borrow trouble by worrying about next year. It’s too far away. You are borrowing trouble if you try to tell John what to do. Compare: ASK FOR, CROSS ONE’S BRIDGES BEFORE ONE COMES TO THEM, […]...
14. Перевод слова troubleTrouble – беда, тревога, беспокойство; авария, помеха Перевод слова To be in deep trouble – оказаться в большой беде to get face to face with a trouble – столкнуться с неприятностью to operate trouble-free – работать без перебоев operating troubles – эксплуатационные неполадки I promise not to Trouble you again. Я обещаю не беспокоить вас […]...
15. Little Johnny walks into his primary schoolLittle Johnny walks into his primary school classroom one morning to be confronted by his teacher. Teacher “Ahh, Good Morning Johnny, and where were you yesterday?” Johnny “I’m sorry Miss, but my Grandad got burnt yesterday.” Teacher, “Was he burned very bad?” Johnny, “Yes Mam, they don’t fuck around at these crematoriums you know....
16. One day the teacher decides to play an animal gameOne day the teacher decides to play an animal game. She holds up a picture of a giraffe and asks if anyone knows what it is. No one raises his/her hand. The teacher says “See it’s long neck? What animal has a long neck?” Sally holds up her hand and asks if it is a […]...
17. Bush fans v. Kerry fansThere’s a teacher in a small Texas town. She asks her class how many of them are Bush fans. Not really knowing what a Bush fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raise their hands except one boy – Johnny. The teacher asks Johnny why he has decided to […]...
18. A young female teacher was giving an assignmentA young female teacher was giving an assignment to her Grade 6 class one day. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys in the class. She quickly turned and asked, “What’s so funny Pat?” “Well teacher, I just […]...
19. Значение идиомы go to the trouble[go to the trouble] or [take the trouble] {v. phr.} To make troubleor extra work for yourself; bother. John told Mr. Brown not to goto the trouble of driving him home. Since your aunt took thetrouble to get you a nice birthday present, the least you can do is tothank her. Compare: PUT OUT....
20. Little Johnny was late for schoolLittle Johnny was late for school. When he finally got there his teacher asked, “Why are you late little Johnny?” Johnny replied, “My grandpa got burnt, Miss.” The teacher replied, “I hope it wasn’t too bad.” Then little Johnny said, “Don’t worry, the crematorium doesn’t muck around!”...
21. Перевод слова teacherTeacher – учитель, преподаватель Перевод слова Teacher edition – издание для учителей; методическое пособие teacher’s college – педагогический институт teacher education – подготовка учителей Experience is a great Teacher. Опыт – великий учитель. As a Teacher he leads. Как учитель он превосходит всех других. She was certified as a Teacher. Она получила диплом учителя. Происхождение […]...
22. A lesson in ebonicsA sixth grade class is doing some spelling drills. The teacher asks Tommy if he can spell ‘before.’ He stands up and says, “Before, B-E-P-H-O-R.” The teacher says, “No, that’s wrong. Can anyone else spell before?” Another little boy stands up and says, “Before, B-E-F-O-O-R.” Again the teacher says, “No, that’s wrong.” The teacher asks, […]...
23. Значение идиомы bubble trouble[bubble trouble] {n.}, {slang}, {citizen’s band radio jargon} Tire trouble, flat tire. The eighteen wheeler ahead of me seems to have bubble trouble....
24. Little Johnny comes home from schoolLittle Johnny comes home from school with a note from his teacher, indicating that “Johnny seems to be having some difficulty with the difference between boys and girls,” and would his mother,”please sit down and have a talk with Johnny about this.” So johnny’s mother takes him quietly, by the hand, upstairs to her bedroom, […]...
25. A mother was teaching her three year old daughterA mother was teaching her three year old daughter The Lord’s Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, she repeated it after her mother. One night she said she was ready to solo. The mother listened with pride, as she carefully enunciated each word right up to the end…”And lead us not into temptation”, she prayed, […]...
26. At a Texas University, a Professor had been teaching hisAt a Texas University, a Professor had been teaching his students human reproduction. For an exam, one of the questions was: “Female humans are born with a limited number of eggs, while males, during their lifetime, produce millions upon millions of sperm. Why are so many sperm produced?” One young woman’s answer: “Because they won’t […]...
27. Little Johny being literalTeacher asks the children to discuss what their Dad’s do for a living. Little Mary says: “My Dad is a lawyer. He puts the bad guys in jail.” Little Jack says: “My Dad is a doctor. He makes all the sick people better.” All the kids in the class had their turn except Little Johnny. […]...
28. Where is the French border?“Why do you look so glum today?”, the teacher asked young Johnny. “I didn’t have no breakfast,” Johnny mumbled. “You poor dear,” said the teacher. “Now, to return to our geography lesson, Johnny, where is the French border?” “In bed with my mom. That’s why I didn’t have no breakfast.”...
29. A teacher was working with a group of underprivileged childrenA teacher was working with a group of underprivileged children, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory exploration. With their eyes closed, they would feel objects from pumice stones to pine cones and smell aromatic herbs and exotic fruits. Then one day, the teacher brought in a great variety of lifesavers, more flavors than you […]...
30. IDAHO TEACHER TRIES TO MOVE FORWARD AFTER SEX ED COMPLAINTDIETRICH – Tim McDaniel’s world turned upside down in 2013. The Dietrich science teacher found out four parents filed an ethics complaint against him as a result of a sex education lesson he taught. The Idaho Professional Standards Commission dropped the complaint and didn’t take action. But news of the complaint in Dietrich – a […]...
31. A little girl was talking to her teacher about whalesA little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a […]...
32. Do the mathThe math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn’t paying attention in class. She called on him and said, “Johnny! what are 4, 2, 28 and 44?” Little Johnny quickly replied, “NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!”...
33. Перевод идиомы ask for it / ask for trouble, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: ask for it / ask for trouble Перевод: напрашиваться на неприятности Пример: The guard asked me to leave unless I was asking for trouble. Охранник сказал, что если я не ищу проблем, то мне лучше уйти....
34. Animal stutteringLittle Johnny is sitting in a biology class, and the teacher says that an interesting phenomenon of nature is that only humans stutter, no other animal in the world does this. Johnny’s hand shoots up. “Not correct, Miss!” he says. “Please explain, Johnny,” replies the teacher. “Well, Miss, the other day I was playing with […]...
35. When the boy started Kindergarten, the teacherWhen the boy started Kindergarten, the teacher asked all the children to give their first name. When she got to the little boy in the second row, he said: “I’ll give you a hint. First it’s in your hand, then it’s in your mouth, and then it’s in your tummy.” The teacher smiled and said: […]...
36. Перевод идиомы get into trouble, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: get into trouble Перевод: попасть в беду, иметь неприятности Пример: The young boys try not to get into trouble when they are left at home alone. Маленькие мальчики стараются не попадать ни в какие неприятности, когда их оставляют дома одних....
37. Little Johnny was in his math’s class one dayLittle Johnny was in his math’s class one day when the teacher singled him out. “If I gave you $20,” the teacher began,” and you gave $5 to Mary, $5 to Sally and $5 to Susan, what would you have?” “An orgy,” Johnny answered....
38. Перевод идиомы look for trouble, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: look for trouble Перевод: напрашиваться на неприятности; сделать что-либо, что может повлечь неприятности Пример: The young boys spend every Saturday evening walking around and looking for trouble. Маленькие мальчики проводили каждое воскресенье, разгуливая по округе и напрашиваясь на неприятности....
39. A first-grade teacher was overseeing her students asA first-grade teacher was overseeing her students as they experimented with their desk computers. One boy sat staring at the screen, unsure how to get the computer going. The teacher walked over and read what was on his screen. In her most reassuring voice, she said, “The computer wants to know what your name is,” […]...
40. An English teacherAn English teacher wrote these words on the whiteboard: “woman without her man is nothing”. The teacher then asked the students to punctuate the words correctly. The men wrote: “Woman, without her man, is nothing.” The women wrote: “Woman! Without her, man is nothing.”...