A New Year’s Cruise

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1. Going on a Cruise Connie: I’m so excited! We’re finally taking a Cruise. Are you sure this is the Embarkation area? Robert: Yes, I’m sure. We go On board right here, see? Come on, let’s find our Cabin. Connie: Okay, but I want to go up On deck as soon as possible and look around the entire ship. Do […]...
2. Steve is going on an ocean cruise, and he tells his doctor Steve is going on an ocean cruise, and he tells his doctor that he’s worried about getting real seasick. The doctor tells him, “Just eat two pounds of stewed tomatoes before you leave the dock.” Steve says, “Will that keep me from getting sick?” The doctor says, “No, but it’ll look real pretty in the […]...
3. An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat on tight, so that it would not blow off in the wind. A gentleman approached her and said: “Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to be forward, but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this […]...
4. Перевод слова seasick Seasick – страдающий морской болезнью Перевод слова We were all seasick – нас всех укачало he was violently seasick – его вырвало to be seasick – страдать морской болезнью ‘I feel Seasick already,’ she moaned. Я чувствую что меня уже укачивает, – пожаловалась она. The storm made her Seasick. От шторма ее укачало. Происхождение слова […]...
5. An Emergency Airplane Landing I was nearly asleep in my seat when I heard this announcement: “Folks, this is the captain speaking from the Cockpit. We are experiencing a lot of Turbulence and I’m turning on the Fasten seatbelt sign. Please remain in your seats.” I didn’t think anything of it until a few minutes later when I heard […]...
6. Air Canada flight finds stranded Australian yacht They were ready to land in Australia, at the end of a 14-hour international flight, when the 270 passengers of an Air Canada flight were suddenly thrown into a high-seas search-and-rescue operation. Flight AC033 diverted after pilot Andrew Robertson got a call from the Australian Maritime Safety Authority on Tuesday to help search for a […]...
7. Magician and Parrot Magician and Parrot A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: The captain’s parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician […]...
8. How to the nearest land!? The ship is sinking. Panic, screams and confusion. One of the passengers turns to the captain: – How to the nearest land!? – Two miles. – And in what direction to swim!? – Down.....
9. Change your course now This is the transcript of an actual radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations on November 10, 1995. Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision. Canadians: Recommend you […]...
10. Перевод идиомы up in years / advanced in years / along in years / on in years, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: up in years / advanced in years / along in years / on in years Перевод: старый, пожилой Пример: Although our grandparents are up in years they still have much energy. Хоть наши дедушка и бабушка уже пожилые, они все еще полны энергии....
11. From rescuer to rescued: Doctor and paramedic save each other’s lives 30 years apart When Dr Michael Shannon saved the life of a premature baby 30 years ago, he would never have thought decades later, the favour would be returned. KTLA reported on Sunday the incredible story of two men in California who saved each other’s lives in two very different ways. The news station said that Dr Michael […]...
12. During the World War II During the World War II, an American warship was attacked by the Japanese. A torpedo was heading towards the ship and a hit seemed inevitable. So the captain told the navigator to go down to the crew quarters and tell a joke or something – at least they would die laughing. The navigator went down […]...
13. The three survivors of the shipwreck The three survivors of the shipwreck were being driven mad by hunger. The Irishman, an expert navigator, told the others that if they could row the lifeboat for three more days they could make landfall. The Pole, the ship’s doctor, said that they could not possibly last that long, that there was only one solution […]...
14. Traveling for Singles Ray: I have a great idea for your next vacation. You should go on a Singles cruise. Samantha: I’m not going on a singles cruise. Everybody will be On the make. Ray: That’s the point, isn’t it? You can Take your pick of single guys. What could be better? Samantha: I’m not interested in having […]...
15. Перевод слова emergency Emergency – непредвиденный случай, критическкое положение Перевод слова Emergency decree – правила техники безопасности the state of emergency – чрезвычайное положение emergency work – экстренная работа; аврал The minister has called an Emergency meeting. Министр созвал экстренное заседание. Her quick thinking in an Emergency saved the baby’s life. Ее сообразительность спасла жизнь ребенка во время […]...
16. Red shirt Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to his First Mate, “Bring me my red shirt!” The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain’s red shirt, which the captain put on and […]...
17. A merchant captain and several of his officers A merchant captain and several of his officers were returning to the ship after a big night ashore. As they climbed the gangway the captain threw up all over himself. Pointing to an apprentice seaman above him he shouted, “Give that man five days in the brig for vomiting on me!” The following morning the […]...
18. Перевод идиомы ipso facto, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: ipso facto Перевод: в силу самого факта, самим фактом, существом дела Пример: Whatever the captain does on board ship is right ipso facto. Все, что капитан делает на борту корабля, самим фактом является правильным....
19. More trees than there were 100 years ago? It’s true! Protection and responsible harvesting are the reasons behind the success story. The numbers are in. In the United States, which contains 8 percent of the world’s forests, there are more trees than there were 100 years ago. According to the Food and Agriculture Organization (FAO), “Forest growth nationally has exceeded harvest since the 1940s. By […]...
20. Vermont Celebrates 40 Billboard-Free Years This year marks the 40th anniversary of Vermont’s landmark billboard law, which prohibits roadside ads all across the Green Mountain State, allowing the green and the mountains to shine through. The proposal became law back in 1968 mostly thanks to the efforts of one man, Ted Riehle, a state legislator. Riehle faced stiff opposition from […]...
21. Значение идиомы on call [on call] {adj. phr.} 1. Having to be paid on demand. Jim didn’thave the money ready even though he knew the bill was on call. 2.Ready and available. This is Dr. Kent’s day to be on call at thehospital. The nurse is on call for emergency cases....
22. Значение идиомы just in case [just in case] {adv. phr.} For an emergency; in order to beprotected. “Here are my house keys. Sue,” Tom said. “I’ll be backin two weeks, but you should have them, just in case…” See: INCASE....
23. Перевод слова coast Coast – побережье Перевод слова On the coast – на побережье off the French coast – у берегов Франции coast with an irregular outline – изрезанное побережье He lives on the Coast. Он живет на побережье. We’ll sail along the Coast. Мы проплывем вдоль берега. The boat skirted the Coast. Лодки обогнули побережье....
24. Familiar Epistle from a Parent to a Child Aged Two Years and Two Months на английском языке писателя Charles Dickens My child, To recount with what trouble I have brought you up-with what an anxious eye I have regarded your progress,-how late and how often I have sat up at night working for you,-and how many thousand letters I have received from, and written to your various relations and friends, many of whom have been […]...
25. A closer call The Pilots One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting for the cockpit crew to show up so they can get under way. The pilot and co pilot finally appear in the rear of the plane, and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle. Both […]...
26. Перевод слова captain Captain – капитан Перевод слова To hold the rank of captain – иметь звание капитана captain’s shoulder straps – погоны капитана captain’s mate – помощник капитана They chose her as Captain. Ее выбрали капитаном. A general ranks a Captain. Генерал выше по званию, чем капитан. Captain is in close arrest. Капитан находится под строгим арестом. […]...
27. A guy goes to a travel agent and books a two-week A guy goes to a travel agent and books a two-week cruise for himself and his girlfriend. A couple days before the cruise, the travel agent calls and says the cruise has been canceled, but he can get them on a three-day cruise instead. The guy says “OK,” and goes to the pharmacy to buy […]...
28. Finish overseas tour A young ensign had nearly completed his first overseas tour of sea duty when he was given an opportunity to display his ability at getting the ship under way. With a stream of crisp commands, he had the decks buzzing with men. The ship steamed out of the channel and soon the port was far […]...
29. World’s oldest man, a Holocaust survivor in Israel, to celebrate bar mitzvah 100 years late JERUSALEM (JTA) – The world’s oldest man, 113-year-old Yisrael Kristal, a Holocaust survivor living in Israel, will celebrate his bar mitzvah. Kristal’s daughter, Shulimath Kristal Kuperstoch, told the DPA news agency that about 100 family members will gather in Kristal’s home city of Haifa in the coming weeks to mark the rite. “We will bless […]...
30. Chinese plane crash Time sensitive note: This joke pertains to the crash of a Chinese plane into a United States plane over International waters. China demanded an apology from us and stole technology from our plane when it was forced to make an emergency landing in Chinese lands. In a heroic dogfight, fought over international waters off the […]...
31. There are three friends, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead There are three friends, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They were on a cruise ship and it was heading home. When they got about 20 miles of shore the boat began to sink (no idea way use your imagination). The three girls jump off and swim to a nearby island. After being there […]...
32. Значение идиомы out of bounds [out of bounds] {adv.} or {adj. phr.} 1. Outside of the boundarylines in a game; not on or inside the playing field. Bill thoughthe had scored a touchdown, but he had stepped out of bounds before hereached the goal line. 2. Outside of a circumscribed area for acertain kind of work, such as construction or […]...
33. Different Treatments A doctor had the reputation of helping couples increase the joy in their sex life, but always promised not to take a case if he felt he could not help them. The Browns came to see the doctor. He gave them thorough physical exams, psychological exams, and various tests, then concluded, “Yes, I am happy […]...
34. Blind man and guide dog kicked off plane; passengers follow in support Usually airline passengers side with flight attendants when it comes to safety, but in the case of a US Airways flight Wednesday night, passengers rallied around a blind man and his guide dog and disembarked en masse. All 35 passengers on US Airways Flight 4384 walked off the plane after Albert Rizzi, a blind man […]...
35. Setting Up Conference Calls and Videoconferences Ewan: Who’s running the Videoconference next week? Petra: I am. Desmond put me in charge of it last week. Ewan: Oh, somebody’s Moving up in the world. It’s nice that he’s giving you more responsibility. Petra: Yeah, but I’m not sure I’m ready. Ewan: I’ve set up Conference calls and videoconferences before. Maybe you can […]...
36. Перевод слова board Board – доска, планка; правление, департамент Перевод слова Cutting board – доска для резки хлеба to size the board – проклеивать картон bed of boards – нары board of directors – правление; совет директоров He drove a nail into the Board. Он забил гвоздь в доску. Write the answers on the Board. Ответы запишите на […]...
37. Naming and Appointing Officials Goran: Who do you think will be Appointed to succeed Ramon on the board? Anne: I don’t know whom they’ll pick To fill the position, but I know who the Candidates are. The Higher ups have been quietly Vetting three people to make sure they don’t have any Skeletons in their closets. Goran: Really? Who […]...
38. The WORK virus There is a new virus. The code name is WORK. If you receive WORK from your colleagues, your boss, via e-mail, or from anyone else, do not touch it under any circumstances. This virus wipes out your private life completely. If you should happen to come in contact with this virus, take five friends and […]...
39. The New Zumwalt Stealth Destroyer Is Too Stealthy The USS Zumwalt departs the coast of Maine for its final builder trials on March 21, 2016 The USS Zumwalt, a Navy destroyer years in the making, is a floating piece of technological wonder. But the neatest feature is tricking nearby radar into thinking its massive 610-foot hull is actually just a 50-foot fishing boat. […]...
40. Titanic As you know, the 3-hour-14-minute film “Titanic” is no mere disaster movie. It’s an epic love story about a 17-year-old American aristocrat who is betrothed to a rich and hateful suitor but falls in love with a free-spirited artist, who won his third-class passage in a card game. It’s “Romeo and Juliet” on a sinking […]...