A married man thought he would give his wife a birthday surprise

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1. For his wife’s birthday party, a doctor ordered a cakeFor his wife’s birthday party, a doctor ordered a cake with this inscription: «You are not getting older, You are just getting better.» When asked how he wanted it arranged, he said, «Just put ‘You are not getting older’ at the top, and ‘You are just getting better’ at the bottom.» It wasn’t until the ... Читать далее...
2. Значение идиомы take by surprise[take by surprise] {v. phr.} 1. To appear in front of someonesuddenly or to suddenly discover him before he discovers you; comebefore is ready; appear before unexpectedly. The policeman took the burglar by surprise as he opened the window. When Mrs. Green’s dinner guests came half an hour early, they tookher by surprise. 2. To ... Читать далее...
3. Значение идиомы give thought to[give thought to] {v. phr.} To consider; think about. Have yougiven any thought to the question of how to sell Grandpa’s old house? Contrast: GIVE IT SOME THOUGHT....
4. Значение идиомы give it some thought[give it some thought] {v. phr.} To wait and see; considersomething after some time has elapsed. «Will you buy my car?» Fredasked. «Let me give it some thought,» Jim answered. Contrast: SLEEPON....
5. Перевод идиомы not give it another thought, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: not give it another thought Перевод: не волноваться, не думать о чем-либо Пример: I did not give it another thought when I agreed to help my friend move from his apartment. Я недолго раздумывал, когда согласился помочь своему другу с переездом....
6. An eye-doctor was having his 40th birthdayAn eye-doctor was having his 40th birthday, and gathered lots of friends and family in his house. His wife had made him a surprise cake, and led her husband blindfolded to a table where the cake was placed. Eagerly the doctor removed and looked down on the cake, and immediately burst into a crazed laughter, ... Читать далее...
7. Arnold and his wife were cleaning out the attic one dayArnold and his wife were cleaning out the attic one day when he came across a ticket from the local shoe repair shop. The date stamped on the ticket showed that it was over eleven years old. They both laughed and tried to remember which of them might have forgotten to pick up a pair ... Читать далее...
8. Four married guys go golfingFour married guys go golfing. During the 4th hole the following conversation took place: First Guy: «You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out golfing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend.» Second Guy: «That’s nothing, ... Читать далее...
9. An old retired man goes to his wife one dayAn old retired man goes to his wife one day, and says to her, «I don’t know how to tell you this dear, but the stock market crashed, and I’m afraid we’re broke.» The wife says, «No, we’re not. Let’s go for a drive into town.» Husband replies, «Our savings are all gone and you ... Читать далее...
10. Перевод слова surpriseSurprise — сюрприз, удивление; удивлять, поражать Перевод слова In surprise — удивленно a surprise visit — приход в гости без предупреждения I shouldn’t be surprised if… — я нисколько не удивлюсь, если… I am Surprised at you. Вы меня удивляете. Is the party a Surprise? Эта вечеринка — сюрприз? I Surprised him in the act. ... Читать далее...
11. Three girls died and were brought to the gatesThree girls died and were brought to the gates of heaven. Upon entering the gate, they were halted by St. Peter and his obedient angel. St. Peter asked the girls, «Before entering you must answer this simple question.» «Which is…?», they replied in unison. «Have you been a good girl?», he asked the first girl. ... Читать далее...
12. For his birthday, Little Johnny asked for a 10 speed bicycleFor his birthday, Little Johnny asked for a 10 speed bicycle. His father said, «Son, we’d love to give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $80,000 and your mother just lost her job. There’s no way we can afford it.» The next day the father saw Little Johnny heading out the front ... Читать далее...
13. A young married womanA young married woman was discussing her sex life with a girlfriend. The girlfriend asked, «Do you talk to your husband when you’re making love?» She thought about it a minute then said, «Well, no. But I could. I mean he has a cell phone and all now.»...
14. There was an old married couple that had happilyThere was an old married couple that had happily lived together for nearly forty years. The only friction in their marriage was caused by the husband’s habit of breaking wind nearly every morning as he awoke. The noise would always wake up his wife and the smell would cause her eyes to water as she ... Читать далее...
15. The guide to wife translationsThe wife says: You want The wife means: You want The wife says: We need The wife means: I want The wife says: It’s your decision The wife means: The correct decision should be obvious The wife says: Do what you want The wife means: You’ll pay for this later The wife says: We need ... Читать далее...
16. Перевод слова birthdayBirthday — день рождения Перевод слова On a birthday — в день рождения on her tenth birthday — в день ее десятилетия birthday present — подарок ко дню рождения Happy Birthday! С днем рождения! Today is my Birthday! Сегодня мой день рождения! Примеры из жизни «Happy Birthday to You» (С днем рожденья тебя) — песня-поздравление ... Читать далее...
17. A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversaryA man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, «When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?» The husband replied, «All I wanted to do ... Читать далее...
18. A man and wife entered aA man and wife entered a dentist’s office. The Wife said, «I want a tooth pulled. I don’t want gas or Novocain because I’m in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible.» You’re a brave woman said the dentist. Now, show me which tooth it is. The wife turns to her ... Читать далее...
19. A man is waiting for his wife to give birthA man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion. After 21 years, ... Читать далее...
20. Перевод слова marriedMarried — женатый, брачный Перевод слова Married man — женатый человек married name — фамилия по мужу married couple — супружеская пара So, how do you like Married life? Так, как тебе супружеская жизнь? She Married an Evans. Она вышла замуж за одного из Эвансов. I was Married to my job. Я был женат на ... Читать далее...
21. Перевод идиомы take someone by surprise, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: take someone by surprise Перевод: удивить кого-либо Пример: The sudden resignation of the mayor took everyone by surprise. Неожиданная отставка мэра всех удивила....
22. My BirthdayI was born on the 22nd of March. Birthday is a very remarkable day for me. It is spring and the weather is fine. In the morning my parents come to my room to wake me singing «Happy Birthday, dear Andy». They give me the presents. I like to get them very much. Most people ... Читать далее...
23. A farmer and his wife were laying in bed one nightA farmer and his wife were laying in bed one night, the farmer feeling a little frisky, reaches over and gives his wife’s breast a little feel and says,»Mother, if this could give milk, we could get rid of the cow.» His hand then travels down to her crotch, and he says, «Mother, if this ... Читать далее...
24. A wife, arriving home from a shopping trip, was horrified toA wife, arriving home from a shopping trip, was horrified to find her husband in bed with a lovely young woman. Just as the wife was about to storm out of the house, her husband stopped her with these words: Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about. Driving along ... Читать далее...
25. Перевод идиомы come as no surprise, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: come as no surprise Перевод: не вызывать удивления, не быть удивительным Пример: It came as no surprise when the government decided to have an election. Никто не удивился, когда правительство решило провести выборы....
26. Фразовый глагол give away (2) — перевод и значение, пример использованияФразовый глагол: give away (2) Перевод: выдавать, проговариваться Пример: We are having a surprise party for Susan next Saturday, so don’t give our surprise away by acting suspicious. В следующую субботу мы устраиваем для Сьюзан вечеринку, о которой она ничего не знает, поэтому веди себя как обычно, и не выдай наш сюрприз....
27. All of a sudden, the wife smacks her husbandAll of a sudden, the wife smacks her husband. The husband was totally dumfounded and asks, «What was that for?» Wife said, «Because, you are a bad fuck». Couple of minutes later, the husband smacks his wife. This time, the wife was confused and asked, «And may I ask what’s that about?» Husband said, » ... Читать далее...
28. Пословица / поговорка the thought that counts — перевод и значение, пример использованияПословица / поговорка: the thought that counts Перевод: дорого внимание Пример: Although the present that the man bought for his wife was not very expensive, it was the thought that counts and his wife was very happy. Несмотря на то, что подарок, который мужчина подарил своей жене был не очень дорогой, главное было внимание, и ... Читать далее...
29. Karam Chand, 110, believed to be longest-married diesThe couple were married in 1925 and they have eight children and 27 grandchildren. A man who was one half of what is believed to be the longest-married couple in the UK has died aged 110. Karam Chand, of Bradford, died on Friday after 90 years of marriage to his wife Kartari. The pair, who ... Читать далее...
30. This redneck gets married, but on his wedding nightThis redneck gets married, but on his wedding night he doesn’t know what to do. He’s fumbling around for a while, but finally his wife gets fed up and says, «Jeb, ya big idiot! Yer s’pposed to take that thing you play with and put it where I pee!» …So he got his bowling bowl ... Читать далее...
31. A peculiar birthday cardThis blonde goes into the drugstore looking for a birthday card. She asks the clerk if they have any new and different cards — something unusual. The clerk points her to a new card just in that day — «Happy Birthday to the Boy who Popped My Cherry.» The blonde replied, «How cool! I’ll take ... Читать далее...
32. My Birthday — Мой день рождения (3)I was born on the 12th of March. Birthday is a very remarkable day for me. March is a spring month and usually the weather is warm. In the morning my parents come to my place and say: «Happy Birthday!» They give me presents. I enjoy getting them. Most people have a birthday party on ... Читать далее...
33. Перевод слова thoughtThought — мысль, мышление Перевод слова To be deep in thought — глубоко задуматься depressing thought — гнетущая мысль absorbed in thought — погруженный в мысли The Thought that we would soon reach home gave us courage. Мысль о том, что скоро мы будем дома, поддержала нас. Thought thrives on conflict. В споре рождается истина. ... Читать далее...
34. The newly married man came home from workThe newly married man came home from work to find his new bride stretched languorously on the sofa, dressed in a negligee. «Guess what I got planned for dinner?» she asked seductively. «And don’t you dare tell me you had it for lunch today.»...
35. Marriage quotes 03There was a man who said, «I never knew what happiness was until I got married… and then it was too late!» Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock. They say when a man holds a woman’s hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage, it is self-defense. When a ... Читать далее...
36. A LIGHTER LOOK AT MARRIAGEGetting married is very much like going to a continental restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that. At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, «Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?» The other replied, ... Читать далее...
37. Why I Fired My SecretaryI woke up early, feeling depressed because it was my birthday, and I thought, «I’m another year older,» but decided to make the best of it. So I showered and shaved, knowing when I went down to breakfast my wife would greet me with a big kiss and say, «Happy birthday, dear.» All smiles, I ... Читать далее...
38. The wife is not speaking to meOne night, this guy come into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. Then he asks for another. After a couple more drinks, the bartender gets worried. «What’s the matter?» the bartender asks. «My wife and I got into a fight,» explained the guy «and now she isn’t talking to me for a ... Читать далее...
39. Пословица / поговорка the wish is father to the thought — перевод и значение, пример использованияПословица / поговорка: the wish is father to the thought Перевод: желание — отец мысли Эквивалент в русском языке: чего хочется, тому верится Пример: The wish is father to the thought and the woman believed that her boyfriend wanted to get married even though he did not. О чем думаешь, то и кажется, и женщина ... Читать далее...
40. What Not to Name Your DogEverybody has a dog called Rover or Spot. I call my dog «Sex». When I went to city hall to buy a licence I told the clerk I wanted a licence for Sex. He said «I’d like one too.» But then I said «This is a dog.» He said he didn’t care what she looked ... Читать далее...