A horrible curse

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1. Перевод слова pronounce Pronounce – объявлять, заявлять; произносить, выговаривать Перевод слова The minister pronounced them man and wife – священник объявил их мужем и женой it is a difficult word to pronounce – это слово трудно произнести to pronounce faultlessly – произносить верно pronounce the invocation – заклинать, молить She practices Pronouncing foreign words. Она упражняется в произношении […]...
2. Lunching with English friends at the time of her husbands reverement Lunching with English friends at the time of her husbands reverement, Madame de Gaulle was asked what she was looking forward to in the years ahead. “A penis.” she replied without hesitation. The embarrassed silence that followed was broken by the former President. “My dear, I don’t think that the English pronounce the word like […]...
3. In the land of Oz Former Vice President Quayle, Speaker of the House Gingrich, and President Clinton are traveling in a car together in Kansas. A tornado comes along and whirls them up into the air and tosses them thousands of yards away. They all fall into a daze. When they come to and extract themselves from the vehicle, they […]...
4. Where is this place A man and his wife were driving their Recreational Vehicle across the country and were nearing a town spelled Kissimee. They noted the strange spelling and tried to figure how to pronounce it – KISS-a-me; kis-A-me; kis-a-ME. They grew more perplexed as they drove into the town. Since they were hungry, they pulled into a […]...
5. THE LAND OF OZ Dan Quayle, Newt Gingrich, and Bill Clinton are traveling in a car together in the Midwest, when suddenly a tornado comes along and whirls them up into the air and tosses them thousands of yards away. When they come down and pull themselves from the vehicle, they realize they’re in the land of OZ. Naturally, […]...
6. Marriage quotes 11 My other wife is beautiful. My wife doesn’t care what I do away from home, as long as I don’t enjoy it. My wife has a split personality, and I hate both of them. My wife ran off with my best friend last week. I miss him! My wife says if I go fishing one […]...
7. Перевод слова remove Remove – передвигать, убирать, уносить, удалять Перевод слова To remove a cataract – удалить катаракту to have one’s furniture removed – перевезти свою мебель to remove an embargo – снимать запрет Remove the pan from the heat. Снимите сковороду с огня. He was Removed from office. Он был отстранен от должности. Remove the knife from […]...
8. A fine sermon A man finally goes with his wife to church. The man was so impressed with the preacher’s sermon he stopped on the way out to shake his hand. “Preacher, I’ll tell you, that was a DAMNED fine sermon.” The preacher says “Why thank you sir, but we don’t used profanity in the house of the […]...
9. Значение идиомы in so many words [in so many words] {adv. phr.} 1. In those exact words. Hehinted that he thought we were foolish but did not say so in so manywords. 2. or [in no uncertain terms] In an outspoken way; plainly;directly. I told him in so many words that he was crazy. Bobwas very late for their date, and […]...
10. A horrible tragedy A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself. Approaching the friend he comments, “You look terrible. What’s the problem?” “My mother died in June,” he said, “and left me $10,000.” “Gee, that’s tough,” he replied. “Then in July,” the friend continued, “My father died leaving me $50,000.” “Wow. Two […]...
11. Mary went to Jill’s place to tell her about a horrible Mary went to Jill’s place to tell her about a horrible experience she’d had the previous night with this bloke she brought home. “Well, what happened when you got there?” Jill asked “The bastard called me a slut!” Mary said. “And what did you do then?” Jill asked, shocked. “I told him to get the […]...
12. Перевод слова exact Exact – точный, строгий, пунктуальный Перевод слова Exact meaning – точный смысл, точное значение exact translation – точный перевод he is exact in business – в делах на него можно положиться Their grey hair Exacts of us a particular respect. Их седины требуют от нас особого уважения. The timing had to be Exact. Сроки должны […]...
13. The guide to wife translations The wife says: You want The wife means: You want The wife says: We need The wife means: I want The wife says: It’s your decision The wife means: The correct decision should be obvious The wife says: Do what you want The wife means: You’ll pay for this later The wife says: We need […]...
14. Life is cruel What women want in a relationship: A handsome, loving professional man who will just love them for who they are. What women get: A fat, balding fart machine who stays with them only because no other woman wants him. What men want in a woman: A combination of Carol Brady and Pamela Lee Anderson; Wonderful […]...
15. Перевод слова horrible Horrible – жуткий, страшный, ужасный Перевод слова Horrible disease – страшное заболевание horrible wrong – ужасная несправедливость horrible weather – отвратительная погода horrible devastation – страшные разрушения It is Horrible to work there. Здесь отвратительно работать. Why are you so Horrible to me? Почему вы так ужасно относитесь ко мне? Her face was Horribly scarred. […]...
16. I think I try a nicer approach Every night, after dinner, a man took off for the local tavern. He spent the whole evening there, and arrived home very drunk around midnight each night. He always had trouble getting his key into the keyhole and getting the door opened. His wife, waiting up for him, would go to the door and let […]...
17. Marriage quotes 10 Marry not a tennis player. For love means nothing to them. May you be too good for the world and not good enough for your wife. May you grow so rich your widow’s second husband never has to worry about a living, God forbid. May you live happily ever after with a poor, ugly, shrewish […]...
18. A husband and wife are on a nudist beach A husband and wife are on a nudist beach when suddenly a wasp buzzes into the wife’s business end. Naturally enough, she panics. The husband is also quite shaken but manages to put a coat on her, pull up his shorts and carries her to the car. Then he makes a mad dash to the […]...
19. A buxom blonde wore, at a charity ball, an enormous diamond A buxom blonde wore, at a charity ball, an enormous diamond. “It happens to be the third most famous diamond in the whole world,” she boasted. “The first is the Hope Diamond, then comes the Kohinoor, and then comes this one, which is called Lipshitz.” “What a diamond!” “How lucky you are!” “Wait, wait, nothing […]...
20. An old retired man goes to his wife one day An old retired man goes to his wife one day, and says to her, “I don’t know how to tell you this dear, but the stock market crashed, and I’m afraid we’re broke.” The wife says, “No, we’re not. Let’s go for a drive into town.” Husband replies, “Our savings are all gone and you […]...
21. Marriage quotes 05 Dear Mrs, Mr, Miss, or Mr and Mrs Daneeka: Words cannot express the deep personal grief I experienced when your husband, son, father or brother was killed, wounded, or reported missing in action. – Catch-22 Diplomat: A man who can convince his wife she would look stout in a fur coat. Don’t marry for money; […]...
22. Marriage quotes 15 All marriages are happy – it’s the living together afterward that causes all the problems. Did you hear about the scientist whose wife had twins? He baptized one and kept the other as a control. Disclaimer: Even my wife doesn’t agree with everything I say, and she loves me dearly. My employers don’t love me […]...
23. Towards and Away One day many years ago, a fisherman’s wife blessed her husband with twin sons. They loved the children very much, but couldn’t think of what to name their children. Finally, after several days, the fisherman said, “Let’s not decide on names right now. If we wait a little while, the names will simply occur to […]...
24. Marriage quotes 04 A man must marry only a very pretty woman in case he should ever want some other man to take her off his hands. – Guitry Ah Mozart! He was happily married – but his wife wasn’t. – Borge Always talk to your wife while you’re making love… if there’s a phone handy. An archaeologist […]...
25. Taking a Shower or Bath I spent the day helping my friend, Babbit, on his farm. When I got home, my wife said, “You Stink!” I headed straight for the Shower. I Ran the water, closed the Shower curtain, and adjusted the Showerhead. I worked the soap into a Lather and Scrubbed from Head to toe. I Rinsed off the […]...
26. A man took his wife to the doctors A man took his wife to the doctors. After a short examination the doctor said “Your wife’s mind has completely gone!” To which the man replied “I’m not surprised. She’s been giving a piece of it to me every day for the past 25 years!”...
27. Значение идиомы word [word] See: ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS, AS GOOD AS ONE’S WORD, BY WORD OF MOUTH, EAT ONE’S WORDS, FROM THE WORD “GO”, GET A WORD IN, GET THE MESSAGE or GET THE WORD, HANG ON THE WORDS OF, IN BRIEF or INA WORD, IN SO MANY WORDS, LAST WORD, MAN OF FEW WORDS, MAN […]...
28. A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, “When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?” The husband replied, “All I wanted to do […]...
29. Letters to a landlord Excerpts from actual letters sent to landlords The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children until it is cleared. I want some repairs done to my stove as it has backfires and burnt my knob off. This is to let you know that there is a smell coming from the man next door. […]...
30. When Joe’s wife ran away with his car, his money and When Joe’s wife ran away with his car, his money and his best friend, he got so depressed that his doctor sent him to see a psychiatrist. Joe told the psychiatrist his troubles and said, “Life isn’t worth living. I think I’m gonna top myself.” “Don’t be stupid, Joe,” said the psychiatrist. “My wife ran […]...
31. A man comes home and hears hard breathing female noises A man comes home and hears hard breathing female noises from inside the aprtment, walks inside to find his wife on the floor of the living room naked. Wife yells, “help, help, I am having a heart attack”, the husband runs in the other room to call the doctor when one of his kids run […]...
32. Marriage quotes 03 There was a man who said, “I never knew what happiness was until I got married… and then it was too late!” Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock. They say when a man holds a woman’s hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage, it is self-defense. When a […]...
33. Two men met at a bar and struck up a conversation Two men met at a bar and struck up a conversation. After a while one of them said, “You think you have family problems? Listen to my situation: A few years ago I met a young widow with a grown-up daughter and we got married. Lately, my father married my stepdaughter. That made my stepdaughter […]...
34. Christopher Lee Was the Only Lord of the Rings Star to Meet J. R. R. Tolkien, Is Mourned on Twitter by Elijah Wood, More Step aside, Gandalf! On Thursday, June 11, Lord of the Rings fans celebrated one of the series’ greatest wizards, Saruman the White. British actor Christopher Lee, who played the evil sorcerer in the three blockbuster film adaptations, passed away at age 93 on Sunday, June 7, but the news of his death wasn’t announced until […]...
35. Accountant and farmer A man walking along a road in the countryside comes across a shepherd and a huge flock of sheep. Stopping to rest, he tells the shepherd, “I will bet you $100 against one of your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in this flock”. The shepherd thinks it over. It’s a big […]...
36. Значение идиомы weigh one’s words [weigh one’s words] {v. phr.} To choose your words carefully; becareful to use the right words. When a teacher explains aboutreligion, he must weigh his words because his pupils may be of severaldifferent faiths. When old Mr. Jones talked to the students aboutbecoming teachers, he spoke slowly, weighing his words. In adebate, a political candidate […]...
37. It’s a sin “I’ve had it with my wife.” said the one drinking buddy to the other. “I’m filing for an divorce.” “Sorry to hear that pal.” said his partner. “May I ask why?” “I found her supply of birth control pills.” said the first. “Listen Frank, with all due respect to your religion, I just can’t see […]...
38. Bad Bernie was in prison for seven years Bad Bernie was in prison for seven years. The day he got out, his wife and son were there to pick him up. He came through the gates and got into the car. The only thing he said was, “F. F.” His wife turned to him and answered, “E. F.” Out on the highway, he […]...
39. A very desperate marriage A man really loved a woman, but he was just too shy to propose to her. Now he was up in his years and neither of them had ever been married. Of course, they dated about once a week for the past six years, but he was so timid he just never got around to […]...
40. Перевод слова living Living – жилой, живущий; средства к существованию Перевод слова Living languages – живые языки the greatest living poet – крупнейший из современных поэтов living conditions – жилищные условия to make an honest living – честным трудом зарабатывать на жизнь He made a Living wrangling horses. Он зарабатывал на жизнь выпасом лошадей. Father never talked about […]...