A group of cowboys were branding some cattle

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1. Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire, out on the lonesome prairie, each with the bravado for which cowboys are famous. A night of tall tales begins. The first says, “I must be the meanest, toughest cowboy there is. Why, just the other day, a bull got loose in the corral and gored six men […]...
2. Cowboy Joe was telling his fellow cowboys back on the ranch Cowboy Joe was telling his fellow cowboys back on the ranch about his first visit to a big-city church. “When I got there, they had me park my old truck in the corral,” Joe began. “You mean the parking lot,” interrupted Charlie, a more worldly fellow. “I walked up the trail to the door,” Joe […]...
3. Eating a Home-Cooked Meal Louise: What’s the matter with you? Gil: I just got off the phone with my mom and she says they’re planning a welcome-home party for me next week – at a restaurant! Louise: What’s wrong with that? Gil: After Living abroad for a year, I was really looking forward to a Home-cooked meal. Louise: Why […]...
4. Ventriliquist cowboy walks into town Ventriliquist cowboy walks into town and sees Indian sitting on his porch. Cowboy: Hey, cool dog. Mind if I speak to him? Indian: Dog no talk. Cowboy: Hey dog, hows it going? Dog: Doin alright. Indian: [extreme look of shock] Cowboy: Is this your owner? [pointing at Indian] Dog: Yep Cowboy: How’s he treat you? […]...
5. Where are you from The cowboy lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh Amarillo theatre. When the usher came by and noticed this he whispered to the cowboy, “Sorry, sir, but you’re only allowed one seat.” The cowboy groaned but didn’t budge. The usher became more impatient. “Sir, if you don’t get up from there, I’m going […]...
6. A group of chess enthusiasts had checked into a hotel A group of chess enthusiasts had checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. “But why?”, they asked, as they moved off. “Because,” he said, “I can’t stand chess nuts boasting in […]...
7. Learn it by listening Two cowboys come upon an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground. One of the cowboys stops and says to the other, “You see that Indian?” “Yeah,” says the other cowboy. “Look,” says the first one, “he’s listening to the ground. He can hear things for miles in any direction.” Just […]...
8. Gauging the Doneness of Meat Chris: How do you like your Steak? Ruth: Well done. I don’t like any pink showing and I don’t mind if it’s a little Charred. Chris: I’ll cook it the way you want it, but it’ll be dry and Tough. Ruth: Yes, but a longer Cooking time kills Foodborne illnesses. I don’t want to eat […]...
9. Перевод слова group Group – группа, группировать Перевод слова A group of people – группа людей study group – учебная группа bronze group – скульптурная группа в бронзе Different flowers can be Grouped together to make a colourful display. Различные цветы могут быть собраны вместе, чтобы придать красочный вид. Spectators Grouped in twos. Зрители встали парами. The Group […]...
10. A man was driving through West Virginia A man was driving through West Virginia looking for a place to move to. He saw 2 men sitting on a porch and said, “I’m moving here from the city, what do you guys do around here?” The men answered, “Go hunt’n, kill things, ‘n screw”. He then asked, “What do you hunt and kill?” […]...
11. Texan with a new car Three cowboys were hanging out in the bunkhouse. “I know that smart aleck Tex,” said the first. “He’s going to start bragging about that new foreign car he bought as soon as he gets back.” “Not Tex,” the second cowboy replied. “He’ll always be just a good ol’ boy. When he walks in, I’m sure […]...
12. Describing Position and Location Within a Group Selena: Don’t look now, but a big group of mothers are coming to this house To give you a piece of their mind. Justin: What?! I meant it as a joke. I Didn’t mean anything by it. Selena: You’ll have to tell that to Sally. She’s At the head of the group and she’s Flanked […]...
13. A group of third, fourth and fifth graders A group of third, fourth and fifth graders accompanied by two female teachers went on a field trip to the local race track to learn about thoroughbred horses and the supporting industry. During the tour some of the children wanted to go to the toilet so it was decided that the girls would go with […]...
14. A group of Americans was touring Ireland A group of Americans was touring Ireland. One of the women in the group was a real curmudgeon, constantly complaining. The bus seats are uncomfortable. The food is terrible. It’s too hot. It’s too cold. The accommodations are awful. The group arrived at the site of the famous Blarney Stone. “Good luck will be followin’ […]...
15. Get some of this Two cowboys are out rounding up cattle when all of a sudden a heifer takes off and goes wild, the heifer runs into a fence and get’s her head stuck. The two cowboys get over to the fence and the one says to the other: “This is too good to pass up,” gets off his […]...
16. Значение идиомы hog-tie [hog-tie] {v.}, {informal} 1. To tie so it is unable tomove or escape. The Cowboy caught a calf and hog-tied it. 2. Tomake someone unable to act freely; limit. The welfare worker wantedto help at once, but rules and regulations hog-tied her, so she couldonly report the case....
17. Many moons There was a cowboy who went to the outhouse. He heard some noise, so he looked inside, and lo and behold there was an Indian down in the hole. The cowboy said, “How long have you been down there?” The Indian replied, “Many moons.”...
18. A cowboy along with his horse and dog are captured late one A cowboy along with his horse and dog are captured late one afternoon by hostile Indians. This presents no problem for the horse as the Indians can always use another pony. The dog’s fate is some what tenuous but it is certain that the cowboy will be burned at the stake the following sunrise. That […]...
19. Back in the turn of the century in a mining town Back in the turn of the century in a mining town out west, a woman walked into a saloon. Suddenly she realised that she was not in the general store so she started to turn around and leave. As she was doing this, a drunk cowboy seated at the bar noticed her and said to […]...
20. There was this little boy who went in the whore house There was this little boy who went in the whore house with a dead frog on a leash. He went to the counter and asked the pimp for a whore with aids, the man knew he was young but the boy said “please mister, just give me a whore with aids, i have money thats […]...
21. A cowboy walked into a barber shop A cowboy walked into a barber shop, sat on the barber’s chair and said, “I’ll have a shave and a shoe shine.” The barber began to lather his face while a woman with the biggest, firmest, most beautiful breasts that he had ever seen knelt down and began to shine his shoes. The cowboy said, […]...
22. A mouse and a lion walk were in a bar A mouse and a lion walk were in a bar, drinking a few beers when a giraffe walked in. “Get a load of her” said the mouse, “what a babe!” “Well, why not try your luck?” replied the lion. So the mouse went over to the giraffe and started talking to her. Within five minutes […]...
23. Driving home very drunk It seems a gentleman had too much alcohol at a party, was heading home, and was pulled over by a state trooper. Upon being tested, the fellow couldn’t walk a straight line any more than he could drive one, so the trooper wrote out a ticket and had just given it to the driver before […]...
24. Перевод слова screw Screw – шуруп, винт, гайка; завинчивать Перевод слова To screw on the cap – навинчивать крышку to ease off screw – ослаблять винт adjustable screw-wrench – раздвижной гаечный ключ The lid Screws onto the jar. Эта крышка навинчивается на банку. Screw the lid on clockwise. Закрутите крышку по часовой стрелке. Try and undo the Screw […]...
25. A couple of geezers were sitting A couple of geezers were sitting on a bench outside the nursing home, having a little chat. “How are you, Tom?” asked Marvin. “I’m not feeling well today – utterly exhausted,” Tom replied. “I pulled a muscle and it’s killing me.” “That pulled muscle shouldn’t make you so tired, though.” “Well, it does if you […]...
26. Missing the Tour Group Bus Kelly: Where is everybody? Man: Excuse me? Were you talking to me? Kelly: Oh, no. I was just Talking to myself. Our Tour group was supposed To rendezvous here at five o’clock for our Return trip to the hotel. But there’s No trace of the bus and I don’t see any other people from my […]...
27. Little Mermaid Three fellows walking along the beach noticed a mermaid sitting on a rock swishing her tail in the foam. The first man waded out to her and said, Hello mermaid! Have you ever been kissed?” She replied, “no sir!” So he kissed her quite thoroughly and asked, “Did you like that?” “Oh, indeed I did, […]...
28. Значение идиомы cook one’s goose [cook one’s goose] {v. phr.}, {slang} To ruin someone hopelessly; destroy one’s future expectations or good name. The bank treasurer cooked his own goose when he stole the bank’s funds. She cooked John’s goose by reporting what she knew to the police. The dishonest official knew his goose was cooked when the newspapers printed the […]...
29. A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, “When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?” The husband replied, “All I wanted to do […]...
30. I think I try a nicer approach Every night, after dinner, a man took off for the local tavern. He spent the whole evening there, and arrived home very drunk around midnight each night. He always had trouble getting his key into the keyhole and getting the door opened. His wife, waiting up for him, would go to the door and let […]...
31. A woman went down to the Welfare Office to get aid A woman went down to the Welfare Office to get aid. The office worker asked her, “How many children do you have?” “Ten,” she replied. “What are their names?” he asked. “LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, and LeRoy,” she answered. “They’re all named LeRoy?” he asked “What if you want them […]...
32. It is written in the Bible! There once was a priest who had to spend the night in a hotel and offered hat check girl to come up to his room for dinner. After a while he started advancing on her when she stopped him and reminded him he was a holy man. “It’s O. K.,” he replied, “it’s written in […]...
33. Перевод слова sheep Sheep – овца, баран Перевод слова Sheep farm – овцеферма to tend a flock of sheep – пасти стадо овец a sheep among wolves – овечка среди волков A young Sheep is a lamb. Детеныш овцы – ягненок. Sheep are tended by a shepherd. Овец пасет пастух. The meat of the Sheep is mutton. Мясо […]...
34. This guy was walking down the sidewalk when he sees a Little Johnny This guy was walking down the sidewalk when he sees a Little Johnny wearing a red firefighter’s hat and sitting in a red wagon which is being pulled slowly by a large Labador Retriever. When he got a little closer, he saw that the kid was holding a rope which is tied to the dog’s […]...
35. A family was having dinner on Mother’s Day A family was having dinner on Mother’s Day. For some reason the mother was unusually quiet. Finally the husband asked what was wrong. “Nothing,” said the woman. Not buying it, he asked again. “Seriously, what’s wrong?” “Do you really want to know? Well, I’ll tell you. I have cooked and cleaned and fed the kids […]...
36. A young boy on his way home from school must pass by a group A young boy on his way home from school must pass by a group of hookers. Everyday as he passes them, the hookers wave at him with their pinkies and say “Hi there little boy!!” One day the boy stops and asks one of the hookers why they always wave at him with their pinkies. […]...
37. Значение идиомы tie in knots [tie in knots] {v. phr.} To make very nervous or worried. The thought of having her tooth pulled tied Joan in knots. Thelittle boy’s experience with the kidnapper tied him in knots and itwas hard for him to sleep well for a long time....
38. Once in a medieval times, there was a King who was getting sort of Once in a medieval times, there was a King who was getting sort of bored after dinner one night. He decided to hold a contest of who at the court had the mightiest “weapon”. The first knight stood up and proclaimed that he had the mightiest weapon…he pulled down his pants and tied a 5 […]...
39. As a sergeant in a parachute regiment As a sergeant in a parachute regiment I took part in serveral night time excersises. Once, I was seated next to a Lieutenant fresh from Jump School. He was quiet sad looked a bit pale so I struck up a conversation. “Scared, Lieutenant?”, I asked. He replied, “No, just a bit apperhensive.” I asked, “What’s […]...
40. A teacher was working with a group of underprivileged children A teacher was working with a group of underprivileged children, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory exploration. With their eyes closed, they would feel objects from pumice stones to pine cones and smell aromatic herbs and exotic fruits. Then one day, the teacher brought in a great variety of lifesavers, more flavors than you […]...