A group of Americans was touring Ireland

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1. Touring Celebrity Homes and Filming LocationsTour guide: Welcome to Hollywood Tours, everybody. I’m your Tour guide for today, and I’ll be showing you some of the most Memorable locations in Hollywood history. Every seat in this Double-decker bus is a good one, and you’ll be able to see every Landmark we drive by. Uh, do you have a question? Elvira: ... Читать далее...
2. Touring South AmericaA tourist is traveling with a guide through one of the thickest jungles in South America, when he comes across an ancient Mayan temple. The tourist is entranced by the temple, and asks the guide for details. To this, the guide states that archaeologists are carrying out excavations, and still finding great treasures. The tourist ... Читать далее...
3. Paddy Murphy had just returned to Ireland from a holidayPaddy Murphy had just returned to Ireland from a holiday in Australia. His mate asked him what it was like. «Australia’s a great place!» Paddy replied. «First they take you home and fill you so full of piss you can’t stand up. Then, to top it off, they let you fuck their women whenever you ... Читать далее...
4. What Are Americans Like?The United States is always compared with a ‘melting pot’ as people of different nations have immigrated to the USA. In 2000, white Americans were about 75% of the population, blacks or African Americans — about 12% of the population, Asians and Pacific Islanders — nearly 4 %, and American Indians and Alaska Natives — ... Читать далее...
5. Missing the Tour Group BusKelly: Where is everybody? Man: Excuse me? Were you talking to me? Kelly: Oh, no. I was just Talking to myself. Our Tour group was supposed To rendezvous here at five o’clock for our Return trip to the hotel. But there’s No trace of the bus and I don’t see any other people from my ... Читать далее...
6. Перевод слова groupGroup — группа, группировать Перевод слова A group of people — группа людей study group — учебная группа bronze group — скульптурная группа в бронзе Different flowers can be Grouped together to make a colourful display. Различные цветы могут быть собраны вместе, чтобы придать красочный вид. Spectators Grouped in twos. Зрители встали парами. The Group ... Читать далее...
7. Northern Ireland (2)Northern Ireland, also known as Ulster, is still a part of the United Kingdom. It is made up of six countries: Antrim, Armagh, Down, Fermanagh, Londonderry, Tyrone. One third of the population lives in and around the capital, Belfast. Belfast is also the most important port and commercial and industrial centre. Some parts of the ... Читать далее...
8. Перевод слова kissKiss — поцелуй Перевод слова Deep kiss — глубокий поцелуй, французский поцелуй to kiss the hare’s foot — поцеловать порог, опоздать to throw a kiss — послать воздушный поцелуй Give us a Kiss. Поцелуй меня. She Kissed him goodnight. Она поцеловала его на ночь. Kiss my ass! Поцелуй меня в задницу! Интересные факты KISS — ... Читать далее...
9. A roving reporter from the BBC was touring a remote part ofA roving reporter from the BBC was touring a remote part of the Scottish Highlands looking for material for a documentary about the way of life there. REPORTER: Hello there, excuse me, I’m from the BBC and I’m gathering material for a documentary about the way of life in the remote parts of the Scottish ... Читать далее...
10. Describing Position and Location Within a GroupSelena: Don’t look now, but a big group of mothers are coming to this house To give you a piece of their mind. Justin: What?! I meant it as a joke. I Didn’t mean anything by it. Selena: You’ll have to tell that to Sally. She’s At the head of the group and she’s Flanked ... Читать далее...
11. Ireland monument to Choctaw Nation finishedGot word from a reader today that a sculpture made in honor of a donation from the Choctaw Nation to the people of Ireland in 1847 has been finished and is now on display in Bailic Park in Middleton, a small town of 12,000 not far from Ireland’s southern coast in County Cork. The backstory ... Читать далее...
12. Native AmericansТопик Коренные американцы рассказывает о жизни коренного населения Северной Америки до прихода европейцев и после прибытия первых поселенцев на корабле «Мейфлауэр». Племена индейцев были миролюбивы, помогали поселенцам, верили во множество богов и устраивали в их честь разнообразные церемонии. В настоящее время коренные американцы стараются сохранить свои традиции и фольклор; чаще всего они проживают на землях ... Читать далее...
13. The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern IrelandGreat Britain lies on the Atlantic coast of Western Europe, separated from France by only 34 km of water. It is made up of three countries, England, Scotland and Wales. Great Britain with Northern Ireland forms the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. The capital of the United Kingdom is London, in England. ... Читать далее...
14. A group of chess enthusiasts had checked into a hotelA group of chess enthusiasts had checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. «But why?», they asked, as they moved off. «Because,» he said, «I can’t stand chess nuts boasting in ... Читать далее...
15. Spirits in IrelandТопик Ирландский алкоголь расскажет об истории ирландского виски и ирландского пива «Гиннесс». Если сравнить между собой шотландский виски и ирландский, то между ними будет разница. И вот еще один очень интересный лингвистический факт: даже слово «виски» в Шотландии и Ирландии пишутся по-разному. Здесь даже приводится рецепт «кофе по-ирландски» и вы, конечно, сможете его правильно приготовить, ... Читать далее...
16. A group of cowboys were branding some cattleA group of cowboys were branding some cattle. While they were out the cook saw a sheep tied to a post. Thinking it was for that nights dinner he cooked it. That night after dinner the cowboys were all sulking and ignoring the cook. He pulled one aside and asked, «Did I screw up the ... Читать далее...
17. A group of third, fourth and fifth gradersA group of third, fourth and fifth graders accompanied by two female teachers went on a field trip to the local race track to learn about thoroughbred horses and the supporting industry. During the tour some of the children wanted to go to the toilet so it was decided that the girls would go with ... Читать далее...
18. A young boy on his way home from school must pass by a groupA young boy on his way home from school must pass by a group of hookers. Everyday as he passes them, the hookers wave at him with their pinkies and say «Hi there little boy!!» One day the boy stops and asks one of the hookers why they always wave at him with their pinkies. ... Читать далее...
19. Значение идиомы pressure group[pressure group] {n. phr.} An organization whose goal it is tocreate changes by lobbying for the benefit of its own members. Certain unscrupulous pressure groups stop at nothing to achieve theirselfish aims....
20. Definition of Outdoor BarbecuingDefinition of Outdoor Barbecuing ——————————— It’s the only type of cooking a «real» man will do. When a man volunteers to do such cooking, the following chain of events is put into motion. (1) The woman goes to the store. (2) The woman fixes the salad, vegetables, and dessert. (3) The woman prepares the meat ... Читать далее...
21. A teacher was working with a group of underprivileged childrenA teacher was working with a group of underprivileged children, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory exploration. With their eyes closed, they would feel objects from pumice stones to pine cones and smell aromatic herbs and exotic fruits. Then one day, the teacher brought in a great variety of lifesavers, more flavors than you ... Читать далее...
22. Clean Ireland HumorAn English man and an Irish man are driving head on, at night, on a twisty, dark road. Both are driving to fast for the conditions and collide on a sharp bend in the road. To the amazement of both, they are unscathed, though their cars are both destroyed. In celebration of their luck, both ... Читать далее...
23. Difference Between the English and the Americans — Различия между англичанами и американцамиThe British and the Americans speak the same language. But life in the two nations can be very different. We asked some Americans what they like or don’t like about Britain. «The weather is awful. You don’t seem to get any summer here. It’s winter all year round». Toni, San Francisco «The tourists! The streets ... Читать далее...
24. Ne day, this man, Tony, diedOne day, this man, Tony, died. When he was sent to be judged, he was told that he had committed a sin, and that he could not go to heaven right away. He asked what he did and God told him that he cheated on his income taxes, and that the only way he could ... Читать далее...
25. Значение идиомы stone[stone] See: CAST THE FIRST STONE, HAVE A HEART OF STONE, KILL TWOBIRDS WITH ONE STONE, LEAVE NO STONE UNTURNED, PEOPLE WHO LIVE INGLASS HOUSES SHOULD NOT THROW STONES, ROLLING STONE GATHERS NO MOSS....
26. More neighborhood jokesThey had a ‘witchy’ old lady next door that was constantly complaining about everything and everyone in the neighborhood. After one really good round about kids and pets messing up her spotless front yard, my buddies planned what turned out to be a better joke than they originally thought. Juvenile as we all were, they ... Читать далее...
27. Перевод слова guideGuide — гид, экскурсовод; справочник; направлять, руководить Перевод слова Museum guide — музейный гид, экскурсовод to guide the state — руководить государством to guide the steps of smb. — направлять чьи-л. шаги postal guide — почтовый справочник The feelings are dangerous Guides. Чувства — опасные советчики. The stars will Guide us back. На обратном пути ... Читать далее...
28. Northern IrelandNorthern Ireland, integral part of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, situated in the northeastern portion of the island of Ireland. Northern Ireland is bounded on the north and northeast by the North Channel, on the southeast by the Irish Sea, and on the south and west by the Republic of Ireland. ... Читать далее...
29. For their 25th wedding anniversaryFor their 25th wedding anniversary, a man decides to take his wife on a trip to France. After two weeks touring France, they return to the airport for the trip back to America. While waiting for the plane, the wife turns to her husband and says, «This was the most wonderful gift I could have ... Читать далее...
30. Life is cruelWhat women want in a relationship: A handsome, loving professional man who will just love them for who they are. What women get: A fat, balding fart machine who stays with them only because no other woman wants him. What men want in a woman: A combination of Carol Brady and Pamela Lee Anderson; Wonderful ... Читать далее...
31. Three women were sitting at a bar having a few drinksThree women were sitting at a bar having a few drinks. After a while the conversation started turning a little rude and crass. Soon the women were getting louder and they were arguing about how wide their snatches were. (This happens all the time.) The first woman got up on the bar, lifted her leg, ... Читать далее...
32. Touring WashingtonA blonde was visiting Washington, DC for the first time. She wanted to see the Capitol building. Unfortunately, she couldn’t find it, so she asked a police officer for directions, «Excuse me, officer, how do I get to the Capitol building?» The officer replied, «Wait here at this bus stop for the number 54 bus. ... Читать далее...
33. Ireland and the ContinentAt first glance, Ireland, an offshore island on the edge of the Atlantic Ocean, remote, romantic and untrodden by the Roman legions, does not appear to be in the mainstream of Europe. However, from the earliest of pre-Christian times, the dividing seas around her have been her connecting sea roads — the equivalent of today’s ... Читать далее...
34. Three Irish women were discussing their respective matesCould this herald the return of our resident wise man, Cunning Lin Gus? Three Irish women were discussing their respective mates over tea. «I call my man ‘Eight,’ » said the first woman, «Because he’s got eight inches, and we do it eight times a day.» The second woman said in response, «I call my ... Читать далее...
35. Значение идиомы poor-mouth[poor-mouth] {v.} To be constantly complaining about one’s poverty;keep saying how one cannot afford the better things in life. UncleJack indulges in an awful lot of poor-mouthing, but we know that hehas half a million dollars stashed away in a secret savings account....
36. Traveling on the trainThere was an Irishman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting together in a carriage in a train going through Tasmania. Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. Then there was this kissing noise and the ... Читать далее...
37. Three guys are discussing womenThree guys are discussing women. «I like to watch a woman’s tits best,» the first guy says. The second says «I like to look at a woman’s ass.» He asks the third guy «What about you?». «Me? I prefer to see the top of her head.»...
38. Tour near glaciersThe following is supposedly a true story relating to an actual guide and his response to questions. Swiss mountain guides who always do the same trails can get tired answering the same questions over and over. One time an English tourist was giving his guide an especially hard time with silly questions. They were walking ... Читать далее...
39. Irish Pub JokesMurphy won the Irish Sweepstakes $100,000.00 and was on a long holiday in America. He went on a bus tour and traveled for hours and hours through desert country and oil fields. Murphy said, «Where are we now?» The guide said, «We’re in the great state of Texas.» «It’s a big place,» said Murphy. The ... Читать далее...
40. The woman’s secretAt a dinner party, several of the guests were arguing whether men or women were more trustworthy. «No woman,» said one man, scornfully, «can keep a secret.» «I don’t know about that,» huffily answered a woman guest. «I have kept my age a secret since I was twenty-one.» «You’ll let it out some day,» the ... Читать далее...