A fortune teller
A man was wandering around a fairground and he happened to see a fortune-teller’s tent. Thinking it would be good for a laugh, he went inside and sat down. “Ah…..” said the woman as she gazed into her crystal ball. “I see you are the father of two children.” “That’s what you think,” said the man scornfully. “I’m the father of THREE children.” The woman grinned and said, “That’s what YOU think.”
(1 оценок, среднее: 5.00 из 5)
Related topics:
- Значение идиомы crystal ball [crystal ball] {n.} A ball, usually made of quartz crystal that is used by fortune-tellers. The fortune-teller at the fair looked into her crystal ball and told me that I would take a long trip next year. 2. Any means of predicting the future. My crystal ball tells me you’ll be making the honor roll....
- Перевод слова fortune Fortune – состояние (имущество), богатство, счастье, удача Перевод слова To try one’s fortune – попытать счастья by good fortune – по счастливой случайности to come into a fortune – получить богатое наследство to make a fortune – разбогатеть, нажить состояние Fortune favours the brave. Смелость города берет. She lost her Fortune in the war. Она […]...
- Перевод слова teller Teller – рассказчик; кассир в банке Перевод слова Brilliant teller of stories – прекрасный рассказчик teller station – передающая станция teller machine – банковский автомат teller’s window – кассовое окно The Teller counted out ten $50 bills. Кассир отсчитал 10 пятидесяти долларовых купюр (банкнот). The bank Teller sat behind a glass partition. Кассир банка сидел […]...
- Two mountain bred GIs were wandering the streets Two mountain bred GIs were wandering the streets of calcutta when an old woman walked by. “Hey, Billy Joe,” one said, “I think that’s Mother Teresa.” “Your nuts.” “I’m telling you.” They approached the woman and one asked, “Are you Mother Teresa?” The old lady eyed them scornfully. “Fuck off, you goddamn perverts,” she hissed, […]...
- During a recent publicity outing During a recent publicity outing, Hillary sneaked off to visit a fortune teller of some local repute. In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news. “There’s no easy way to say this, so I’ll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die […]...
- Пословица / поговорка diligence is the mother of good fortune – перевод и значение, пример использования Пословица / поговорка: diligence is the mother of good fortune Перевод: терпение и труд все перетрут Пример: The parents were proud of their son, because he was a straight-A student and was very hard-working. He believed that diligence is the mother of good fortune. Родители гордились своим сыном, потому как он был сплошным отличником, и […]...
- Good fortune A man walks along a lonely beach. Suddenly he hears a deep voice: DIG! He looks around: nobody’s there. I am having hallucinations, he thinks. Then he hears the voice again: I SAID, DIG! So he starts to dig in the sand with his bare hands, and after some inches, he finds a small chest […]...
- The woman’s secret At a dinner party, several of the guests were arguing whether men or women were more trustworthy. “No woman,” said one man, scornfully, “can keep a secret.” “I don’t know about that,” huffily answered a woman guest. “I have kept my age a secret since I was twenty-one.” “You’ll let it out some day,” the […]...
- Перевод слова tent Tent – палатка, шатер Перевод слова Lightweight tent – облегченная палатка tent bed – походная кровать, кровать с балдахином to peg the tent – закрепить палатку колышками Our sole accommodation was a Tent barely able to contain eight persons. Нашим единственным убежищем была палатка, едва вмещавшая восемь человек. The Tent sleeps five adults. Эта палатка […]...
- Значение идиомы ball [ball] See: BASE ON BALLS, CARRY THE BALL, FLY BALL, FOUL BALL, GET THE BALL ROLLING, SET THE BALL ROLLING, START THE BALL ROLLING, GOPHER BALL, GROUND BALL, HAVE A HALL, HAVE SOMETHING ON THE BALL, JUMP BALL, KEEP THE BALL ROLLING, LONG BALL, ON THE BALL, PASSED BALL, PLAYBALL....
- Millionaire uses fortune to help kids in struggling town Harris Rosen went from a childhood in a rough New York City neighborhood to becoming a millionaire whose company owns seven hotels in Orlando, but his self-made success is not his proudest achievement. Twenty years ago, the Orlando, Fla. neighborhood of Tangelo Park was a crime-infested place where people were afraid to walk down the […]...
- Tommy goes into a confessional box and says Tommy goes into a confessional box and says, “Bless me father for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman.” The Priest says, “Is that you, Tommy? Tommy says “Yes father, it’s me.” The Priest says “Who was the woman you were with?” Tommy says “I cannot tell you, father, because I don’t […]...
- A husband and wife were out playing golf A husband and wife were out playing golf. They tee off and one drive goes to the right and one drive goes to the left. The wife finds her ball in a patch of buttercups. She grabs a club and takes a mighty swing at the ball. She hits a beautiful second shot, but in […]...
- Shopping for Bedding Xavier: Thanks for helping me Decorate my new apartment. Hey, where are you going? Crystal: I’m going to the Bedding department. Now that you have a new bed, you’ll need new bedding. Xavier: Right, okay, but can’t I just get some Sheets, a couple of Pillows, and a Blanket? Crystal: That’s only the beginning. Oh, […]...
- Shopping for Bedding Xavier: Thanks for helping me Decorate my new apartment. Hey, where are you going? Crystal: I’m going to the Bedding department. Now that you have a new bed, you’ll need new bedding. Xavier: Right, okay, but can’t I just get some Sheets, a couple of Pillows, and a Blanket? Crystal: That’s only the beginning. Oh, […]...
- Bank Teller Bank Teller A middle aged man walks into the bank and says to the young teller, “I want to open a fucking checking account”. “Please sir”, she replies, “we can’t have language like that in here.” “Why the Fuck not?” he asked. “Sir,” Came her retort, “I must ask you to refrain from swearing.” “I […]...
- A game of golf A man walked into the clubhouse and noticed a friend sitting in a corner wearing a neck brace. He sat down and asked his mate what happened. “Well, I was playing golf and I hit my ball into the rough,” replied his friend. “Then I met a chick who was looking for her ball too. […]...
- An older woman was in the pastoral study An older woman was in the pastoral study counceling for her upcoming fourth wedding. “Father,” she said, “How am I going to tell my husband that I am still a virgin?” “My child, you have been a married woman for many years. Surely that cannot be,” he replied. “Well Father, my first husband was a […]...
- Значение идиомы children and fools speak the truth [children and fools speak the truth] Children and fools say things without thinking; they say what they think or know when grown-ups might not think it was polite or wise to do so. – A proverb. “Uncle Willie is too fat,” said little Agnes. “Children and fools speak the truth,” said her father....
- In a long line of people waiting for a bank teller In a long line of people waiting for a bank teller, one guy suddenly started massaging the back of the person in front of him. Surprised, the man in front turned and snarled, “Just what the hell you are doing?” “Well,” said the guy, “you see, I’m a chiropractor and I could see that you […]...
- Working as an Intern Jonas: How’s your new job? Crystal: It’s not a job Exactly. It’s an Internship. Jonas: Oh, so you’re working as somebody’s Lackey and getting paid a Pittance. Crystal: No, not exactly. I’m doing a lot of Scut work and I’m not getting paid a lot, but I’m getting very valuable On-the-job experience. Jonas: Sure you […]...
- There was a gorilla sitting in a tree by a river There was a gorilla sitting in a tree by a river, when a lion came by for a cool drink. The gorilla thought to himself, “How funny would it be to screw the king of the jungle in the ass?” After a moment or two, the gorilla swung into action. He grabbed the lion and […]...
- Ed, Ted and their wives went out camping one weekend Ed, Ted and their wives went out camping one weekend. Ed and Ted slept in one tent while the wives used the other. At about three in the morning, Ted woke up and yelled, “Wow, unbelievable!” Which woke Ed. “What’s going on?” said Ed. “I’ve got to go to the other tent and find my […]...
- Hints and Innuendo Roberta: You know, my birthday is Coming up. John: Yeah, I know. What are you Getting at? Roberta: Nothing. I was just thinking that it’s kind of an important birthday, a major birthday. John: Yes, I know. Spit it out. What are you Driving at? Roberta: I was just thinking that some people might not […]...
- Перевод слова peg Peg – колышек, вешалка Перевод слова To hang one’s hat on a peg – повесить шляпу на крючок to peg the tent – закрепить палатку колышками peg board – коммутационная доска tent peg – колышек для натягивания палатки to peg out an area – размечать площадку колышками Make sure the tent is safely Pegged down […]...
- Hints and Innuendo Roberta: You know, my birthday is Coming up. John: Yeah, I know. What are you Getting at? Roberta: Nothing. I was just thinking that it’s kind of an important birthday, a major birthday. John: Yes, I know. Spit it out. What are you Driving at? Roberta: I was just thinking that some people might not […]...
- Talking to a Bank Teller Bank Teller: Can I help you? Antonio: Yes, I’d like To deposit this Check. Bank Teller: Please fill out a Deposit slip and be sure To endorse the check on the back. Antonio: Here you are. I’ve already filled out a slip and signed the check. I’d also like To cash this other check. Bank […]...
- Father! Father! An old man on crutches walked up “Father! Father! An old man on crutches walked up to the holy water a minute ago, and he splashed some on his right leg and then he threw away his right crutch! Then he splashed some more on the other leg and threw away his left crutch!” “My boy, you’ve witnessed a miracle! What happened […]...
- Значение идиомы keep one’s eye on the ball [keep one’s eye on the ball] {v. phr.} 1. To watch the ball at alltimes in a sport, usually in order to hit it or get it; not stopwatching the ball. Keep your eye on the baseball or you won’t beable to hit it. 2. {informal} To be watchful and ready; be wide-awakeand ready to […]...
- Перевод слова ball Ball – мяч, шар; бал Перевод слова To catch a ball – поймать мяч ball lightning – шаровая молния meat balls – фрикадельки He killed the Ball. Он срезал мяч. She rolled the Ball. Она выкатила мяч. The Ball fell short. Мяч не долетел. Интересные факты ‘Ball’ является частью множества составных слов, означающих игры с […]...
- Перевод идиомы ball of fire, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: ball of fire Перевод: активный и энергичный человек Пример: The woman is a ball of fire and is always busy doing something. Эта женщина очень активна и энергична, и она всегда чем-то занята....
- A man and a woman are sitting next to each other A man and a woman are sitting next to each other at a bar getting drunk. The man turns to the woman and asks her why she’s so down. “My husband just left me. He said I’m too kinky in bed,” she said. “What a coincidence! My wife just left me,” said the man, “she […]...
- Describing Family Relations Eri: What’s that? James: It’s an invitation to a Family reunion. Once every five years or so, someone in the family organizes one. Eri: Are you going? James: I’m not sure. It’s always a little awkward seeing Extended family. Did you know that there used to be a big Feud between my father and his […]...
- A wife begins to get a little worried because A wife begins to get a little worried because her husband has not arrived home on time from his regular Saturday afternoon golf game. As the hours pass she becomes more and more concerned until at 8 p. m. the husband finally pulls into the driveway. “What happened?” says the wife. “You should have been […]...
- At an auction During an auction of exotic pets, a woman who had placed a winning bid told the auctioneer, “I’m paying a fortune for that parrot. I hope he talks as well as you say he does.” “I guarantee it, madam,” replied the auctioneer. “Who do you think was bidding against you?”...
- Cashing a Check The local Branch of my bank is located just a few Blocks from where I live. It’s very convenient, since it has four ATMs open 24/7. Today I had to go in to make a Deposit, but since I wanted to Cash a check as well, I needed to go inside to talk to a […]...
- A Good Listener Woman: Hi, Long time no see. How have you been? Man: Oh, I’ve been fine, but I’m having some trouble with my son. Woman: Tell me all about it. Man: Oh, he’s 14 and in the past few months, he’s become quieter and a bit Secretive. He locks himself in his room and I think […]...
- Перевод слова thinking Thinking – мышление, размышление, мнение Перевод слова Current thinking – общее, ходячее мнение deep thinking – глубокие размышления distinct way of thinking – особый склад ума Her last remark has set me Thinking. Ее последнее высказывание заставило меня задуматься. This problem requires clear Thinking. Для решения этой проблемы требуется ясная голова. Thinking negatively can become […]...
- A historical example A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a rabbi, if they could discuss his use of the family car. His father took him into his study and said, “I’ll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your Talmud a little, get your hair […]...
- A woman walks into a pet store A woman walks into a pet store wanting to buy a pet for her husband, but she finds all the pets are so so expensive. The woman says to the clerk at the counter, “I’m looking to buy a pet for my husband but I’m on a very short budget!.” “No worries,” replies the clerk. […]...