A construction worker came home just in time to find his wife

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1. A construction worker goes to the doctor and says A construction worker goes to the doctor and says, “Doc, I’m constipated.” The doctor examines him for a minute and then says, “Lean over the table.” The construction worker leans over the table, the doctor whacks him on the ass with a baseball bat, and then sends him into the bathroom. He comes out a […]...
2. A construction worker was whistling A construction worker was whistling and verbally harassing a young girl as she walked by the construction site. She completely ignored him, and just kept on walking. Annoyed the worker yelled “Well you’re an ugly bitch anyway!” The girl turned around and replied “It must be terrible when even an ugly bitch won’t give you […]...
3. Construction Worker Hides Waldo On Site For Kids In Hospital Next Door One man is helping kids find a little joy. Jason Haney, a construction foreman, hides a life-size cutout he made of Where’s Waldo on site every day for kids who are staying at a hospital next door to find. “It’s just for the kids to get their minds off of things,”Haney told The Huffington Post. […]...
4. Перевод слова construction Construction – сооружение, строительство Перевод слова Modular construction – модульная конструкция machinery construction – машиностроение dam construction project – проект по строительству плотины The new skyscraper is under Construction. Строится новый небоскреб. We both heard what he said, but she put quite a different Construction on it. Мы все слышали его слова, но она истолковала […]...
5. Перевод слова worker Worker – работник, трудящийся, сотрудник Перевод слова Factory and office workers – рабочие и служащие brain worker – работник умственного труда fellow worker – сотрудник, сослуживец She is a very responsible Worker. Она – очень ответственный работник. The Worker bee is neuter. Рабочая пчела бесплодна. The Worker was dismissed for laziness. Рабочего уволили за лень. […]...
6. A wife comes home unexpectedly one day and finds her husband A wife comes home unexpectedly one day and finds her husband in bed with a lady midget. Upset and furious over his actions, the woman screams, “You promised me two weeks ago that you would never cheat on me again!” Trying his best to calm her down, the husband turns to his wife and says, […]...
7. Two Italian construction workers Two Italian construction workers were in the field on an extremely hot day working.. the one says to the other “hey how come we do all a da work and he gets all a da money?” pointing to the supervisor. The other says, “I don’t know, go ask him.” So Guido goes up to the […]...
8. Значение идиомы under construction [under construction] {adv. phr.} In the process of being built orrepaired. It is a good idea to take the train to work while theexpressway is under construction....
9. A wife, arriving home from a shopping trip, was horrified to A wife, arriving home from a shopping trip, was horrified to find her husband in bed with a lovely young woman. Just as the wife was about to storm out of the house, her husband stopped her with these words: Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about. Driving along […]...
10. Значение идиомы blue collar worker [blue collar worker] {n. phr.} A manual laborer who is probably a labor union member. Because Jack’s father is a blue collar worker, Jack was so anxious to become an intellectual. Contrast: WHITE COLLAR WORKER....
11. A man and his wife Florence Flask was… dressing for the opera when she turned to her husband and screamed, “Erlenmeyer! My joules! Someone has stolen my joules!” “Now, now, my dear,” replied her husband, “keep your balance and reflux a moment. Perhaps they’re mislead.” “No, I know they’re stolen,” cried Florence. “I remember putting them in my burette… We […]...
12. A man comes home from work and finds his wife admiring her breasts A man comes home from work and finds his wife admiring her breasts in the mirror. He asks, “What are you doing?” She replies, “I went to the doctor today, and he told me I have the breasts of a 25 year old.” The husband retorts, “Well, what did he say about your 50 year […]...
13. Перевод идиомы under construction, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: under construction Перевод: в процессе строительства, строящийся Пример: The hotel was still under construction, two years after it began. Через два года после начала строительства, гостиница все еще строилась....
14. A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in – law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother. The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and […]...
15. A husband and wife are on a nudist beach A husband and wife are on a nudist beach when suddenly a wasp buzzes into the wife’s business end. Naturally enough, she panics. The husband is also quite shaken but manages to put a coat on her, pull up his shorts and carries her to the car. Then he makes a mad dash to the […]...
16. The wife is not speaking to me 1 A construction worker walks into a bar. He’s a rather large, menacing guy. He orders a beer, chugs it back, and bellows, “All you guys on this side of the bar are a bunch of idiots!” A sudden silence descends. After a moment he asks “Anyone got a problem with that?” The silence lengthens. He […]...
17. A young wife, her boorish husband and a young good looking A young wife, her boorish husband and a young good looking sailor were shipwrecked on an island. One morning, the sailor climbed a tall coconut tree and yelled, “Stop making love down there!” “What’s the matter with you?” the husband said when the sailor climbed down. “We weren’t making love.” “Sorry,” said the sailor, “From […]...
18. All of a sudden, the wife smacks her husband All of a sudden, the wife smacks her husband. The husband was totally dumfounded and asks, “What was that for?” Wife said, “Because, you are a bad fuck”. Couple of minutes later, the husband smacks his wife. This time, the wife was confused and asked, “And may I ask what’s that about?” Husband said, ” […]...
19. Driving home very drunk It seems a gentleman had too much alcohol at a party, was heading home, and was pulled over by a state trooper. Upon being tested, the fellow couldn’t walk a straight line any more than he could drive one, so the trooper wrote out a ticket and had just given it to the driver before […]...
20. A wife begins to get a little worried because A wife begins to get a little worried because her husband has not arrived home on time from his regular Saturday afternoon golf game. As the hours pass she becomes more and more concerned until at 8 p. m. the husband finally pulls into the driveway. “What happened?” says the wife. “You should have been […]...
21. An old retired man goes to his wife one day An old retired man goes to his wife one day, and says to her, “I don’t know how to tell you this dear, but the stock market crashed, and I’m afraid we’re broke.” The wife says, “No, we’re not. Let’s go for a drive into town.” Husband replies, “Our savings are all gone and you […]...
22. Wife comes home to find the old man Wife comes home to find the old man humping the dog in the front room. “My God Henry”, she screams, “I know you’ve had other woman but this time you’ve gone too far!” “You may be right” he says, “I think I’m stuck.”...
23. Wife comes home to find the old man shagging the dog Wife comes home to find the old man shagging the dog in the front room. “My God Henry”, she screams, “I know you’ve had other woman but this time you’ve gone too far!” “You may be right” he says, “I think I’m stuck.”...
24. Robinson came home in great excitement and said to his wife Robinson came home in great excitement and said to his wife, “You’ll never believe it, dear, but I’ve discovered an entirely new position for lovemaking.” “Really,” said Mrs. Robinson, interested at once. “What is it?” “Back to back.” “But that’s crazy. We can’t do anything back to back.” “Yes we can. I’ve persuaded another couple […]...
25. Just like my wife A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, “I’m sorry. I thought you were my […]...
26. A woman comes home A woman comes home from the doctor and tells her husband the bad news that she has only 18 hours to live. “That’s terrible!!!” said her husband, “What would you like to do during your last hours? I’ll try to make it as memorable as possible for you.” “Well,” she said, “First, I want to […]...
27. The couple was dining out when the wife noticed The couple was dining out when the wife noticed a familiar face at the bar. “Elliot,” she said, pointing “do you see that man downing bourbon at the bar?” The husband looked over and nodded. “Well,” the woman continued, “he’s been drinking like that for 10 years, ever since I jilted him!” The husband returned […]...
28. The wife coyly tried to explain her purchase of a new The wife coyly tried to explain her purchase of a new pair of expensive imported panties. “After all, dear,” she said to her husband, “you wouldn’t expect to find fine perfume in a cheap bottle, would you?” “No,” her husband replied. “Nor would I expect to find gift wrapping on a dead beaver.”...
29. Man and wife at the zoo It’s a beautiful warm spring day and a man and his wife are at the zoo. She’s wearing a cute, loose-fitting, pink spring dress, sleeveless w/straps. As they walk through the ape exhibit and pass in front of a very large gorilla, the gorilla goes ape. He jumps up on the bars, holding on w/one […]...
30. There was a husband and his wife sitting next to a drunk There was a husband and his wife sitting next to a drunk in a bar. Suddenly the drunk stands up and yells, “ATTENTION ALL” and farts loudly. The wife is extremely embarrassed, and the husband looks at the drunk and says” Excuse me, you just farted before my wife.” The drunks replies,” I’m sorry I […]...
31. A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, “When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?” The husband replied, “All I wanted to do […]...
32. After the party, as the couple was driving home After the party, as the couple was driving home, the woman asks her husband, “Honey, has anyone ever told you how handsome, sexy and irresistible to women you are?” The flattered husband said, “No, dear they haven’t.” The wife yells, “Then what the heck gave you THAT idea at the party tonight?”...
33. So at the funeral home, the widow instructs Here’s a sick one… So at the funeral home, the widow instructs the mortician to cut off her late husband’s penis and shove it up his rectum. The mortician objects, but threatening not to pay, he relents. Later, at the coffin closing, the wife bends down to kiss her husband goodbye, and she sees a […]...
34. The wife of an older man is distraught The wife of an older man is distraught because her husband’s um… little sailor can’t salute anymore. She goes to her local doctor and explains the situation and the doctor just feels plain bad for her. The doc thinks for a little bit, turns to the woman and says, “listen, I don’t do this for […]...
35. A husband and wife were in their back yard A husband and wife were in their back yard, and he was noticing her expanding backside. He commented, “Boy, your ass is getting big. almost as big as the gas grill here.” She angrily stomped across the yard, and he followed saying, “Yep, that thing is getting huge.” At this, the wife retreated to the […]...
36. A college professor’s going to bed with his wife A college professor’s going to bed with his wife. He’s not that tired, so he’s gonna stay awake and read while she goes to sleep. So he’s reading, and every once in a while he reaches over and tickles her on the fun spot… “Kitza kitza…” She says, “Will you stop that! Will you stop […]...
37. A man was taking his wife A man was taking his wife, who was pregnant with twins, to the hospital when his car went out of control and crashed. Upon regaining consciousness, he saw his brother, a relentless world-class practical joker, sitting at his bed side. He asked his brother how his wife was and his brother replied, “Don’t worry, everybody […]...
38. Visiting a Construction Site Bill: Ma’am! ma’am! Estelle: Yes? Bill: Ma’am, you’re not supposed to be here. This is a Construction site and you’re not allowed. Please don’t step on that Scaffolding. It’s dangerous. Estelle: Oh, I just wanted a quick look to see how the building is Coming along. Look at all this Lumber and Brick. The Foundation […]...
39. Значение идиомы poison-pen [poison-pen] {adj.} Containing threats or false accusations;written in spite or to get revenge, and usually unsigned. Mrs. Smith received a poison-pen letter telling her that her husband wasuntrue. To get revenge on Mary, Alice wrote a poison-pen letter tothe teacher and signed Mary’s name to it....
40. The Home Improvement Store When you own a house, there is always something that Needs work. I have been Putting off repainting the Garage and I decided that I would do it this weekend. I went to the Home improvement store early in the morning to get the Supplies I’d need. I walked into the Huge store and began […]...