Главная ⇒ 📌Jokes ⇒ A closer call

A closer call

The Pilots One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting for the cockpit crew to show up so they can get under way. The pilot and co pilot finally appear in the rear of the plane, and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle. Both appear to be blind. The pilot is using a white cane, bumping into passengers right and left as he stumbles down the aisle, and the co pilot is using a guide dog. Both have their eyes covered with huge sunglasses. At first the passengers do not react; thinking that it must be some sort of practical joke. However, after a few minutes the engines start spooling up and the airplane starts moving down the runway. The passengers look at each other with some uneasiness, whispering among themselves and looking desperately to the stewardesses for reassurance. Then the airplane starts accelerating rapidly and people begin panicking. Some passengers are praying, and as the plane gets closer and closer to the end of the runway, the voices are becoming more and more hysterical. Finally, when the airplane has less than 20 feet of runway left, there is a sudden change in the pitch of the shouts as everyone screams at once, and at the very last moment the airplane lifts off and is airborne. Up in the cockpit, the co pilot breathes a sigh of relief and turns to the Captain: «You know, one of these days the passengers aren’t going to scream, and we’re gonna get killed!»



Упражнения other another others.
Дни недели на английском упражнения.

Related topics:

  1. Blind man and guide dog kicked off plane; passengers follow in supportUsually airline passengers side with flight attendants when it comes to safety, but in the case of a US Airways flight Wednesday night, passengers rallied around a blind man and his guide dog and disembarked en masse. All 35 passengers on US Airways Flight 4384 walked off the plane after Albert Rizzi, a blind man ... Читать далее...
  2. Значение идиомы at one’s fingertips[at one’s fingertips] {adv. phr.} 1. Within easy reach; quickly touched; nearby. Seated in the cockpit, the pilot of a plane has many controls at his fingertips. 2. Readily usable as knowledge or skill; familiar. He had several languages at his fingertips. He had the whole design of the machine at his fingertips....
  3. A photographer from a well known national magazineA photographer from a well known national magazine was assigned to cover the fires at Yellowstone National Park. When the photographer arrived, he realized that the smoke was so thick that it would seriously impede or make it impossible for him to photograph anything from ground level. He requested permission to rent a plane and ... Читать далее...
  4. Murphy’s Travel LawsMurphy Laws For Frequent Flyers No flight ever leaves on time unless you are running late and need the delay to make the flight. If you are running late for a flight, it will depart from the farthest gate within the terminal. If you arrive very early for a flight, it inevitably will be delayed. ... Читать далее...
  5. Landing at a hidden military baseYou’ve all heard of the Air Force’s ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as «Area 51?» Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their «secret» base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pilot into an interrogation room. The ... Читать далее...
  6. Chinese plane crashTime sensitive note: This joke pertains to the crash of a Chinese plane into a United States plane over International waters. China demanded an apology from us and stole technology from our plane when it was forced to make an emergency landing in Chinese lands. In a heroic dogfight, fought over international waters off the ... Читать далее...
  7. Значение идиомы nose down[nose down] {v.}, {of an aircraft} To head down; bring down thenose of. The big airliner began to nose down for a landing. Thepilot nosed the plane down toward the runway....
  8. В самолете (On an aeroplane), лексика и слова по темеA plane (an airplane, an aircraft) — самолет A flight – полет, авиарейс A direct flight – прямой рейс A long-haul flight – дальний рейс A delay — задержка Economy class – эконом класс Business class – бизнес класс A first-class section – кабина первого класса A cockpit – кабина самолета An emergency exit – ... Читать далее...
  9. Перевод слова airlinerAirliner — пассажирский самолет Перевод слова Fixed-wing airliner — пассажирский самолет medium-haul airliner — пассажирский самолет средней дальности hijack an airliner — угнать пассажирский самолет The Airliner disappeared off their radar. Авиалайнер исчез с их радара. The Airliner was hijacked by a group of terrorists. Авиалайнер была захвачена группой террористов. Происхождение слова airliner Образовано от ... Читать далее...
  10. An easy solutionOn a plane bound for New York the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first class section and requested that she move to coach since she did not have a first class ticket. The blonde replied, «I’m blonde; I’m beautiful; I’m going to New York; and I’m not moving.» Not wanting to argue ... Читать далее...
  11. Instrument Flying guide for Animal LoversHaving detailed the concept of attitude control, there is another method which you may prefer. For reasons that will become apparent, it is recommended for those pilots whose airplanes have large, easily cleaned cabins. Known as the «Cat and Duck Method» of instrument flight, it has received much publicity and is considered to have a ... Читать далее...
  12. Chinese learned thisTime sensitive note: This joke pertains to the crash of a Chinese plane into a United States plane over International waters. China demanded an apology from us and stole technology from our plane when it was forced to make an emergency landing in Chiese lands. Top Ten Things The Chinese Have Learned By Examining Our ... Читать далее...
  13. I am called a PrincessThe United Airline’s passenger cabin was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant who seemed to put everyone into a good mood as he served them food and drinks. As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and announced to the passengers, «Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that ... Читать далее...
  14. Apologizing to ChinaTime sensitive note: This joke pertains to the crash of a Chinese plane into a United States plane over International waters. China demanded an apology from us and stole technology from our plane when it was forced to make an emergency landing in Chinese lands. Dear China, We’re sorry you don’t train your fighter pilots ... Читать далее...
  15. Stuck in a planeGeorge Bushes, father Bush and son Bush, Bush, Jr., are on board a small two seater plane when suddenly George Senior, the pilot, parachutes out of the plane. Not knowing how to fly, National Guard Service or not, a plane George, Jr., grabs the radio. «Mayday, mayday! My Dad just jumped out of the plane!» ... Читать далее...
  16. Woman is on a busA woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said: «That’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen.» In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and ... Читать далее...
  17. Flying in the planeSue and Bob, a pair of tight wads, lived in the mid west, and had been married years. Bob had always want to go flying. The desire deepen each time a barn stormer flew into town to offer rides. Bob would ask, and Sue would say, «No way, ten dollars is ten dollars.» The years ... Читать далее...
  18. Значение идиомы crash-dive[crash-dive] {v.} 1. To dive deep under water in a submarine as quickly as possible. We shall crash-dive if we see enemy planes coming. 2. To dive into in an airplane. When the plane’s motor was hit by the guns of the enemy battleship, the pilot aimed the plane at the ship and crash-dived into ... Читать далее...
  19. Worries while flyingTwo statisticians were travelling in an airplane from LA to New York. About an hour into the flight, the pilot announced that they had lost an engine, but don’t worry, there are three left. However, instead of 5 hours it would take 7 hours to get to New York. A little later, he announced that ... Читать далее...
  20. A helicopter was flying around above SeattleA helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an electrical malfunction disabled all of aircraft’s electronic navigation and communication equipment. Due to the clouds and haze the pilot could not determine his position or course to steer to the airport. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritted sign ... Читать далее...
  21. Lost and FoundAirport employee: Hello, Portland Airport, Lost and Found. Lucas: Hello. I was a passenger on a SunCal Airlines flight yesterday and I think I left my keys on the plane. Airport employee: I see. To Claim the item, you have to fill out a Claim form. What did you lose again? Some Luggage? You’ll need ... Читать далее...
  22. A young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopersA young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopers. He went though the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher and higher structures, and finally went to take his first jump from an airplane. The next day, he called home to his father to tell him the news. «So, did you ... Читать далее...
  23. Humor about Irish Pubs(Setting the scene, Ballymun outside of Dublin has a reputation as a rough spot) Fifteen minutes into Aer Lingus Flight EI109 from Madrid to Dublin the Plane encounters a serious problem with the Instrument landing systems. In a Fit of Panic, Paddy the Pilot turns to his co-Pilot and says. «Jazus Mick…Well have to turn ... Читать далее...
  24. Jump out of the planeAn Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says » We’re having mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the next airport is for 3 of you to open the door and jump, at least one ... Читать далее...
  25. Значение идиомы take over[take over] {v.} 1a. To take control or possession of. Heexpects to take over the business when his father retires. 1b. Totake charge or responsibility. The airplane pilot fainted and hisco-pilot had to take over. 2. To borrow, imitate, or adopt. TheJapanese have taken over many European ways of life....
  26. Fly the Friendly Skies in your CessnaFly the Friendly Skies in your Cessna And who says our controllers don’t have a sense of humor? ———————————————— November 22, 1996 — Any More Complaints? The controller working a busy pattern told the 727 on downwind to make a 360 (do a complete circle, usually done to provide spacing between aircraft). The pilot of ... Читать далее...
  27. Перевод слова airplaneAirplane — самолет, аэроплан Перевод слова Airplane ambulance — санитарный самолет airplane luggage — чемоданы, сумки для авиапутешествий airplane is airborne — самолет находится в воздухе The Airplane landed to refuel. Самолет приземлился для дозаправки. An Airplane droned overhead. Самолет гудел над головой. Происхождение слова airplane Образовано от двух слов:...
  28. Значение идиомы peel off[peel off] {v.} To dive away from a group of airplanes in a flightformation; bring one plane down from a group. As the group nearedthe home base, pilot after pilot peeled off for a landing....
  29. China blames AmericaTime sensitive note: This joke pertains to the crash of a Chinese plane into a United States plane over International waters. China demanded an apology from us and stole technology from our plane when it was forced to make an emergency landing in Chinese lands. China blames U. S. for second mid-air collision! Beijing (Reuters) ... Читать далее...
  30. Flying on Low-Cost AirlinesSue: I just made Airline reservations for our trip. Do you want to look over the Itinerary before I purchase the tickets? Alex: Which airline is it? Sue: It’s McTse Air. Alex: Oh, no, I don’t want to fly on that Low-cost airline! We don’t get Assigned seats and all of the Passengers Rush the ... Читать далее...
  31. Pilot to towerPilot to tower. . . pilot to tower. . . I am 300 miles from land. . . 600 feet over water. . . and running out of fuel. . . please instruct! Tower to pilot. . . tower to pilot. . . repeat after me: «Our Father, which art in heaven. . .»...
  32. Thank you..thank you very much!Father O’Mally has been preaching at his church in Ireland for so long, that he decides to take a vacation. He has never been married and he is curious as to what an American endures in everyday life. So, he decides to go to the States before it is too late. He hops on the ... Читать далее...
  33. Перевод слова pilotPilot — летчик, пилот, штурман; экспериментальный Перевод слова Airline pilot — летчик гражданской авиации fighter pilot — летчик-истребитель pilot lot — пробная партия pilot system — экспериментальная версия системы The Pilot gave the order to bomb up. Пилот отдал приказ загружать бомбы. The Pilot has logged 1200 flying hours. На счету этого пилота 1200 летных ... Читать далее...
  34. Перевод слова airportAirport — аэропорт Перевод слова Airport limousine — машина, нанимаемая в аэропорту on the way to the airport — по пути в аэропорт airport workload — загруженность аэропорта airport capacity — пропускная способность аэропорта The Airport was fogged in. Аэропорт был окутан туманом. I took a cab to the Airport. Я взял такси до аэропорта. ... Читать далее...
  35. Wait-Listed for a FlightI can’t believe I made it into San Francisco, At long last! This morning, I went to the airport to Catch my 10 a. m. Flight. I got there early to go through Security. The folks at the TSA can really slow things down sometimes. Since I had an Electronic ticket, I didn’t have to ... Читать далее...
  36. Перевод слова commercialCommercial — коммерческий, торговый Перевод слова Commercial cargo — коммерческий груз commercial credit — коммерческий кредит commercial facilities — торговые предприятия The film was a huge Commercial success. Фильм имел огромный коммерческий успех. Commercial establishments remain closed today. Торговые заведения сегодня закрыты. Is the property or any part thereof used for Commercial activity? Используется ли ... Читать далее...
  37. Перевод слова takeoffTakeoff — взлет, подъем, отрыв от земли Перевод слова Takeoff profile change — изменение траектории взлета clearance for takeoff — разрешение на взлет takeoff climb — набор высоты при взлете She got her plane two minutes before Takeoff. Она поднялась на борт самолета всего за две минуты до вылета. Please remain seated during Takeoff. Пожалуйста, ... Читать далее...
  38. For their 25th wedding anniversaryFor their 25th wedding anniversary, a man decides to take his wife on a trip to France. After two weeks touring France, they return to the airport for the trip back to America. While waiting for the plane, the wife turns to her husband and says, «This was the most wonderful gift I could have ... Читать далее...
  39. Six people were on a planeSix people were on a plane. A doctor, a lawyer a priest and 3 children. The pilot comes on the radio and says the plane is going to crash, and there are only three parachutes. The doctor yells out, » Save the children» The lawyer yells out «FUCK THE CHILDREN!» The priest yells out » ... Читать далее...
  40. Hillary Clinton, Chelsea Clinton, and Bill Clinton are sittingHillary Clinton, Chelsea Clinton, and Bill Clinton are sitting in a helicopter and Bill starts to think. He sits there for about 15 minutes and finally Hillary asks why he is looking so sad. He says, «I just was wondering what I could do for the poor countries.» «Well » says Chelsea, «you could throw ... Читать далее...

A closer call