A business man got on an elevator in a building

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1. Перевод слова elevatorElevator — лифт Перевод слова To operate an elevator — управлять лифтом to take an elevator — пользоваться лифтом down elevator — лифт вниз up elevator — лифт наверх We’ll have to take the Elevator. Нам придется воспользоваться лифтом. Wait for the Elevator to descend. Подождите лифт, чтобы спуститься. That old Elevator is a death ... Читать далее...
2. An Avon lady was along in an elevator when she suddenlyAn Avon lady was along in an elevator when she suddenly had to fart. She promptly reached into her bag and sprayed the air with her deodorizer. Two floors later a gentleman got onto the elevator. He began to sniff. The Avon lady asked, «Do you smell something?» «Why, yes, I do,» he replied. «What ... Читать далее...
3. Why elevator «close» buttons don’t workEven if your building’s got an up-to-date elevator that runs with all the speed and precision of a Swiss watch (if that’s the case, no need to brag), you’ve likely found yourself waiting the maddening extra few seconds for the doors to finally close, furtively pushing the «close» button and wondering why isn’t anything happening. ... Читать далее...
4. A man and a woman are on an elevator at the topA man and a woman are on an elevator at the top of the world’s tallest building, when all of a sudden, the cable snaps and the elevator starts plummeting to the ground. The emergency brakes don’t work, the emergency phone doesn’t work, and they both begin to panic. The woman screams «We’re going to ... Читать далее...
5. Перевод слова buildingBuilding — здание, строение Перевод слова Building engineer — инженер-строитель building construction — строительство public building — общественное здание The clouds are Building up. Тучи собираются. The Building is unsafe. Здание является небезопасным. Fire gutted the Building. Огонь полностью уничтожил все внутри здания. Происхождение слова building Образовано от слова...
6. Touring WashingtonA blonde was visiting Washington, DC for the first time. She wanted to see the Capitol building. Unfortunately, she couldn’t find it, so she asked a police officer for directions, «Excuse me, officer, how do I get to the Capitol building?» The officer replied, «Wait here at this bus stop for the number 54 bus. ... Читать далее...
7. Paul got off the elevator on the 40th floor andPaul got off the elevator on the 40th floor and nervously knocked on his blind date’s door. She opened it and was as beautiful and charming as everyone had said. «I’ll be ready in a few minutes,» she said. «Why don’t you play with Rollo while you’re waiting?» He does wonderful tricks. He rolls over, ... Читать далее...
8. Blonde on blondeA blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde. The cop asked to see the blonde’s driver’s license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. «What does it look like?» she finally ... Читать далее...
9. Three women, A brunette, a redhead, and a blondeThree women, A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde, all come home from work at the same time and get on the elevator. The brunette notices a blob on the elevator wall and says: » OOOOOhhh that looks like semen.» She reaches out and touches the blob with her fingers and says «It feels like ... Читать далее...
10. A man walked into a gift shop that sold religious itemsA man walked into a gift shop that sold religious items. Near the cash register he saw a display of caps with «WWJD» printed on all of them. He was puzzled over what the letters could mean, but couldn’t figure it out, so he asked the clerk. The clerk replied that the letters stood for ... Читать далее...
11. Jon left for a two day business trip to ChicagoJon left for a two day business trip to Chicago. He was only a few blocks away from his house when he realized he’d left his plane ticket on top of his dresser. He turned around and headed back to the house. He quietly entered the door, walked into the kitchen. He saw his wife ... Читать далее...
12. This guy is walking through Chinatown and sees a buildingThis guy is walking through Chinatown and sees a building with a sign «Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry.» «Hans Olaffsen?», he thinks. «How in the world does that fit in here?» So, he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman sitting in the corner. The visitor asks, «How in the world did this place ... Читать далее...
13. A blonde is speaking to her psychiatristA blonde is speaking to her psychiatrist. «I’m on the road a lot, and my clients are complaining that they can never reach me.» Psychiatrist: «Don’t you have a phone in your car?» Blonde: «That was a little too expensive, so I did the next best thing. I put a mailbox in my car.» Psychiatrist: ... Читать далее...
14. A guy walks into an elevator and stands nextA guy walks into an elevator and stands next to a beautiful woman. After a few minutes he turns to her and says, «Can I smell your pussy?» The woman looks at him in disgust and says, «Certainly not!» «Hmmm,» he replies. «It must be your feet, then.»...
15. A guy steps into an elevator andA guy steps into an elevator and there’s just one attractive woman in it. He turns around to push the button for his floor and his elbow bumps right into her breast. He says, «Oh, I’m so sorry. If your heart is as soft as your breast, I hope you’ll be able to forgive me.» ... Читать далее...
16. Перевод идиомы none of someone’s business / nobody’s business, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: none of someone’s business / nobody’s business Перевод: дело, которое никого не касается, которое никого не должно волновать Пример: My personal financial situation is none of my friend’s business. Моя ситуация в финансовом плане не должна волновать моего друга....
17. An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doingAn Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, «Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I’m going to jump off this building.» The Mexican opened ... Читать далее...
18. Designing a BuildingKathy: Seeing these Blueprints really Brings this project to life. I can now Envision what this building will look like when it’s built. Brett: I’m really glad. As the Architect on this project, it’s my job to turn your ideas into Design. Kathy: You did a great job. Brett: I had the help of the ... Читать далее...
19. It finally happenedA man died and went to Heaven. After reaching the gates to Heaven the man was talking with Saint Peter and he asked, «I know I was good during my life, and I really appreciate being brought to Heaven, but I’m really curious… What does Hell look like?» So Saint Peter thought about it a ... Читать далее...
20. Commiting suicideA blonde and a brunette are living together. The brunette came home from work one day and the blonde had a rope around her waist. The brunette asked why the rope was around her waist. The blonde said that she was trying to commit suicide. The brunette said, «You put it around your neck!» The ... Читать далее...
21. An easy solutionOn a plane bound for New York the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first class section and requested that she move to coach since she did not have a first class ticket. The blonde replied, «I’m blonde; I’m beautiful; I’m going to New York; and I’m not moving.» Not wanting to argue ... Читать далее...
22. Перевод слова businessBusiness — дело, работа, бизнес Перевод слова Unfinished business — незавершенное дело business contacts — деловые контакты small business — малый бизнес I’m here on Business. Я здесь по делам. Mind your own Business! Не суй нос не в свои дела! It’s your own Business. Это ваше личное дело....
23. A helicopter was flying around above SeattleA helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an electrical malfunction disabled all of aircraft’s electronic navigation and communication equipment. Due to the clouds and haze the pilot could not determine his position or course to steer to the airport. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritted sign ... Читать далее...
24. A blonde went to the appliance store saleA blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. «I would like to buy this TV,» she told the salesman. «Sorry we don’t sell to blondes,» he replied. She hurried home, dyed her hair, came back again and told the salesman, «I would like to buy this TV.» «Sorry we don’t sell ... Читать далее...
25. So my sister, a natural blondSo my sister, a natural blond graduating from the University of North Carolina Law School, is job hunting. I suggested that since Microsoft is building up their legal team, she should send them a resume and become a southern blond Microsoft lawyer — and be the butt of any joke on the internet....
26. Two car salesmen were sitting at the barTwo car salesmen were sitting at the bar. One complained to the other, «Boy, business sucks. If I don’t sell more cars this month, I’m going to lose my fucking arse.» Too late he noticed a beautiful blonde sitting two stools away. Immediately, he apologized for his bad language. «That’s okay,» the blonde replied, «If ... Читать далее...
27. A policeman was patrolling near midnightA policeman was patrolling near midnight at a local parking spot overlooking a golf course. He drove by a car and saw a couple inside with the dome light on. Inside there was a young man in the driver’s seat reading a computer magazine and a young lady in the back seat calmly knitting. He ... Читать далее...
28. Making Business ContactsPhan: Hi, Montel. Thanks for agreeing to meet with me. Montel: It’s my pleasure. Phan: Since I’m new here, I was hoping you might be willing to give me some Pointers on how to get new clients. To be honest, I’ve never been on This side of the fence before and I’m a little Out ... Читать далее...
29. Building with Wood and MetalHugo: Wow, when you said that you did some Woodworking on the weekends, I thought you meant Refinishing furniture. But this! This is a real Workshop and you’re actually building furniture. Shawna: Yeah, this is what I’m working on right now. I’m building a dining table and chairs. Hugo: The Grain is beautiful on this ... Читать далее...
30. Значение идиомы the business[the business] {n.}, {slang} — Usually used with «give» or «get».1. All that you are able to do; greatest effort. Johnny gave thetryouts the business but he failed to make the team. 2. The most harmpossible; the greatest damage or hurt. Fred got the business whenTom caught him with his bicycle. 3. A harsh scolding. ... Читать далее...
31. Proffessional AcquantanceA well respected Doctor and his wife were having drinks in the lobby of the theater during the opening nite of a musical during intermission. A blonde shimmied by that had to have had what there was of her evening gown spray painted on her curvy body. She smiled and gushed, «Well, hello there Doc.» ... Читать далее...
32. A Business PlanAbout a year ago, I came up with an idea that I thought would Revolutionize the way people sell their Goods on the Internet. After a lot of planning, I decided to try to attract Investors by developing a Business plan. I got some advice from my friend Steve who is a very successful Entrepreneur. ... Читать далее...
33. A blonde walks into the police department looking for a jobA blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer wants to ask her a few questions…. Officer: What’s 2+2? Blonde: Ummmmm… 4! Officer: What’s the square root of 100? Blonde: Ummmm… 10! Officer: Good! Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln? Blonde: Ummmm… I dunno. Officer: Well, you can go home and think ... Читать далее...
34. Значение идиомы have no business[have no business] {v. phr.} To have no right or reason. Jackhad no business saying those nasty things about Dick. Vern’smother told him he had no business going swimming that day....
35. IndicatorA businessman entered a tavern, sat down at the bar, and ordered a double scotch on the rocks. After he finished the drink, he peeked inside his shirt pocket, then he ordered another double scotch. After he finished that one, he again peeked inside his shirt pocket and ordered another double scotch. Finally, the bartender ... Читать далее...
36. Значение идиомы do the business[do the business] {v. phr.}, {informal} To do what is needed or wanted; get the job done; take proper action. The boys had trouble in rolling the stone, but four of them did the business. When the little boy cut his finger a bandage did the business....
37. So this Mexican dude was taking a piss on the side of a buildingSo this Mexican dude was taking a piss on the side of a building and this white dude sees him. After the Mexican is done the white guy asks him, «How come you Mexicans don’t wash your hands after you pee?» And the Mexican guy replies, «Because we Mexicans don’t piss in our hands»...
38. Types of Business EntitiesRon: I’m only your Tax accountant, but let me give you a piece of advice. If you’re planning to start a business, you’ll want to carefully consider what type of Business entity you want to do business under. Marcela: Is that important? My parents ran a Mom-and-pop store for 40 years and they never had ... Читать далее...
39. Some explainingThe newlyweds arrived at the front desk of the posh ocean-side resort in Hilton Head, South Carolina, looking all fresh, and eager to enjoy their two week vacation/honeymoon. The stunning blonde at the front desk smiled and said, «Well, hi Jimmy, how ya been lover? Long time no see.» A frosty silence prevailed until the ... Читать далее...
40. A blonde was complaining to her friend about constantly beingA blonde was complaining to her friend about constantly being called a dumb blonde. Her friend tells her «go do something to prove them wrong! Why don’t you learn all the state capitals or something?» The blonde thinks this is a great idea, and locks herself up for two weeks studying. The next party she ... Читать далее...