A bus conversation

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1. A bus stops and two Italian men get onA bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but she listens in horror as one of the men says the following: «Emma come first. Den I come. Two asses, dey come together. I come again. Two ... Читать далее...
2. Перевод слова conversationConversation — разговор, беседа Перевод слова Conversation classes — занятия по разговорной практике to hold conversation — вести беседу, разговаривать heart-to-heart conversation — разговор по душам Do you remember our Conversation about that new movie? Вы помните наш разговор о новом фильме? We had a Conversation by e-mail. У нас был разговор по электронной почте. ... Читать далее...
3. Значение идиомы make conversation[make conversation] {v. phr.} To talk with someone just so thatthere will be talk. John made conversation with the stranger sothat he would not feel left out. Mary didn’t really mean what shesaid about Joan. She was only making conversation....
4. During WW II an American soldierDuring WW II an American soldier had been on the front lines in Europe for three months, when he was finally given a week of R&R. He caught a supply boat to a supply base in the south of England, then caught a train to London. The train was extremely crowded and he could not ... Читать далее...
5. Значение идиомы conversation piece[conversation piece] {n.} Something that interests people and makes them talk about it; something that looks unusual, comical, or strange. Uncle Fred has a glass monkey on top of his piano that he keeps for a conversation piece....
6. Doing the right thingSon : Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady. Mum : Well, you have done the right thing. Son : But mom, I was sitting on daddy’s lap....
7. Who invented sexA Greek and Italian were sitting down one day debating who had the superior culture. The Greek says, «We have the Parthenon» The Italian says, «We have the Colosseum» The Greek says «We had great Mathematicians» The Italian says «We had the Roman Empire» …and so on and so on and then the Greek says: ... Читать далее...
8. At The SuperbowlBob received a free ticket to the Superbowl from his company. Unfortunately, when Bob arrived at the stadium he realizes the seat is in the last row in the corner of the stadium — he is closer to the Goodyear Blimp than the field. About halfway through the first quarter, Bob noticed an empty seat ... Читать далее...
9. Being Impolite in ConversationAngela: Ugh! I hate talking to Rebecca. Every time I ask her a question, she Ignores me or Sneers at me. Ronny: Are you sure it’s not your Imagination? She’s Perfectly nice to me. Angela: It’s not my imagination. When I try to tell her something, she Cuts me off. When I try to explain ... Читать далее...
10. An extremely loyal fanThere was a Packers fan with a really crappy seat at Lambeau. Looking with his binoculars, he spotted an empty seat on the 50-yard line. Thinking to himself «what a waste» he made his way down to the empty seat. When he arrived at the seat, he asked the man sitting next to it, «Is ... Читать далее...
11. Conversation over dinnerConversation over dinner: WOMAN: What would you do if I died? Would you get married again? MAN: Definitely not! WOMAN: Why not — don’t you like being married? MAN: Of course I do. WOMAN: Then why wouldn’t you remarry? MAN: Okay, I’d get married again. WOMAN: You would? (with a hurtful look on her face) ... Читать далее...
12. Persistency ActA guy hears a knocking on his door. He opens it up, and no one is there. He looks all around and he finally sees a little snail sitting on the doormat. He picks it up and throws it across the street into a field. Ten years go by, and one day he hears a ... Читать далее...
13. Two men met at a bar and struck up a conversationTwo men met at a bar and struck up a conversation. After a while one of them said, «You think you have family problems? Listen to my situation: A few years ago I met a young widow with a grown-up daughter and we got married. Lately, my father married my stepdaughter. That made my stepdaughter ... Читать далее...
14. A mother-daughter conversationA mother and daughter are sitting down over afternoon tea. The mother wants to show her daughter that she’s a hip parent and tries to get her daughter to open up and talk about dating boys and what it’s like for her. Mom: So….now that you have started dating, what’s it like getting intimate with ... Читать далее...
15. Three little old ladies, sitting on a park benchThree little old ladies, sitting on a park bench. The town flasher comes by and shows them his ALL! The first little old lady had a huge stroke. The second little old lady had a little stroke. The third little old lady would have had a stroke…………….but her arms weren’t quite long enough....
16. Traveling by BusSamantha: Good morning. I had a few questions about buying a bus ticket. Do I need to buy one In advance? Agent: You can, but it’s not necessary. You just need to arrive at the Terminal at least an hour before the scheduled departure time to buy your ticket. Boarding begins about 15 to 30 ... Читать далее...
17. The golf courseA man playing on a new golf course got confused as to what hole he was on. He saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her and asked if she knew what hole he was playing. She replied, «I’m on the 7th hole, and you’re a hole behind me, so you ... Читать далее...
18. Перевод слова engageEngage — нанимать, участвовать, привлекать Перевод слова He engaged Smith as his lawyer on — нанял Смита в качестве адвоката to engage in a contest — участвовать в соревновании to engage all eyes — обратить на себя всеобщее внимание The toy didn’t Engage her interest for long. Игрушка не привлекла ее внимания на долго. Only ... Читать далее...
19. New family driverMartin had just received his brand new drivers license. The family troops out to the driveway, and climbs in the car, where he is going to take them for a ride for the first time. Dad immediately heads for the back seat, directly behind the newly minted driver. «I’ll bet you’re back there to get ... Читать далее...
20. Who’s got a bigger crotch?There were three women sitting in a bar and they were discussing how much their husbands could get up their crotch. The first women said, «My husband can get his whole hand up me». The second lady said, «My husband can get his whole head up me». The third lady slid down the bar stool....
21. There was an old woman on a plane, sitting next to the PopeThere was an old woman on a plane, sitting next to the Pope. It was stormy outside, and the plane was being rocked by some severe turbulence. So this kindly old lady looked upon Death’s door, and said to her papal neighbour. ‘Father, surely you can do something about this…’ To which the Pope replied, ... Читать далее...
22. A truck driver breaks down andA truck driver breaks down and shortly another trucker stops to give him hand. He notices that the first driver has a big red spot painted on his dash and asks him what it’s for. He replies «Oh that’s a conversation piece for when I pick up female hitchhikers. I get lots of pussy that ... Читать далее...
23. A little boy and his dad are standing in lineA little boy and his dad are standing in line at the grocery store behind a big fat lady. The little boy says, «hey dad, look how fat that lady is!» «Shhhh, quiet son, she’ll hear you.» «But dad, look how big and fat that lady is!» «Shhhhhh, don’t say that son, it’s not nice!» ... Читать далее...
24. A policeman was patrolling near midnightA policeman was patrolling near midnight at a local parking spot overlooking a golf course. He drove by a car and saw a couple inside with the dome light on. Inside there was a young man in the driver’s seat reading a computer magazine and a young lady in the back seat calmly knitting. He ... Читать далее...
25. A little old lady gets onto a crowded busA little old lady gets onto a crowded bus and stands in front of a seated young girl. Holding her hand to her chest, she says to the girl, «If you knew what I have, you would give me your seat.» The girl gets up and gives up her the seat to the old lady. ... Читать далее...
26. BassQ: Why did the bass player get mad at the timpanist? A: He turned a peg and wouldn’t tell the bass player which one. Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one — but the guitarist has to show him first. Q: How many bass players does ... Читать далее...
27. Good fortuneA man walks along a lonely beach. Suddenly he hears a deep voice: DIG! He looks around: nobody’s there. I am having hallucinations, he thinks. Then he hears the voice again: I SAID, DIG! So he starts to dig in the sand with his bare hands, and after some inches, he finds a small chest ... Читать далее...
28. Перевод слова ItalianItalian — итальянский; итальянец, итальянка Перевод слова Appetence for the Italian art — приверженность итальянскому искусству Italian roof — архит. покатая крыша the Italians — итальянцы He prefers shoes of Italian derivation. Он предпочитает туфли итальянского производства. Miss pronounces Italian very Americanly. Мисс произносит итальянские слова слишком по-американски. It is his Italian accent that distinguishes ... Читать далее...
29. It seems that Abe and Morey, two salesmen for an advertising agencyIt seems that Abe and Morey, two salesmen for an advertising agency, were traveling together through the midwest, when they were caught between towns during a driving snow storm. The further they went, the worse conditions got, and they finally slid off into a ditch. Fortunately there was a house quite nearby. They waded through ... Читать далее...
30. To stop her 4-year old daughter from biting her nailsTo stop her 4-year old daughter from biting her nails, her mother tells her it’ll make her fat. «I won’t do it any more, Mom,» says the daughter. Next day they are out walking when they meet a very fat man. «If I bite my fingernails, I’ll be as fat as that, won’t I Mom?» ... Читать далее...
31. Clearing itA very drunk man in a bar tells the bartender and everyone that is sitting near him that he can fart out the tune to The Star Spangelled Banner! Everyone who hears this wants to see him do it. So he tells everyone to gather around him, then he climbs up on the bar, drops ... Читать далее...
32. You Can Never Really Go BackYou Can Never Really Go Back There was this couple who had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table that morning when the old gentleman said to his wife, «Just think, honey, we’ve been married for 50 years.» «Yeah,» she replied, «Fifty years ago this very day, we were sitting ... Читать далее...
33. Passing a parrotA lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store. The parrot said to her, «Hey lady, you are really ugly.» Well, the lady is furious! She stormed past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same ... Читать далее...
34. There was a guy sitting at a bar having a beerThere was a guy sitting at a bar having a beer. Up walks a so called «lady of the night». She says, «For $300.00, I’ll do anything you want.» Our fine lad thinks for a moment then says: Ok. Paint my house, bitch!...
35. Перевод слова ladyLady — леди, женщина Перевод слова Great lady — знатная дама you’ve dropped your gloves, lady! — женщина, вы обронили перчатки! foxy lady — соблазнительная женщина your good lady — ваша супруга Shall we rejoin the Ladies? Не вернуться ли нам к дамам? She’s swell, a real Lady. Она одевается стильно, как настоящая леди. Don’t ... Читать далее...
36. Перевод сленгового выражения sitting duck, значение и пример использованияСленговое выражение: sitting duck Перевод: легкая цель; что-либо или кто-либо беззащитный, уязвимый, или находящийся в рискованной, опасной ситуации Пример: The sweet old lady was a sitting duck for the aggressive salesman. Эта приятная пожилая дама была легкой целью для настойчивого продавца. Out in the open field, the soldiers were sitting ducks for enemy snipers. В ... Читать далее...
37. I don’t owe anything for this drinkThe bartender asks the guy sitting at the bar, «What’ll you have?» The guy answers, «A scotch, please.» The bartender hands him the drink, and says «That’ll be five dollars,» to which the guy replies, «What are you talking about? I don’t owe you anything for this.» A lawyer, sitting nearby and overhearing the conversation, ... Читать далее...
38. Bill Clinton Statue Committee1040 Waffle Street Little Rock, Arkansas 72208 Dear Friend; We have the distinguished honor of being on the committee for the raising of $5,000,000.00 for placing a statue of Bill Clinton in the Hall of Fame in Washington, D. C. This committee was in a quandary as to where to place the statue. It was ... Читать далее...
39. A guy takes his greenhorn wife hunting on a ranchA guy takes his greenhorn wife hunting on a ranch. When they reach their deer blinds, the guy says, «If you shoot a deer, be sure not to let somebody else say he’s the one who shot it. Otherwise, he’ll take the deer from you. The deer belongs to whoever shoots it.» The guy goes ... Читать далее...
40. A very Insulting ParrotThis elderly lady, recently widowed, decides to see if a pet will ease her loneliness and goes to the pet store. She decides against puppies, kitties, etc., and is about to leave the store when she hears a voice saying, «My, do you look lovely this afternoon, madam.» She turns around quickly to see who ... Читать далее...