A British Army colonel was reviewing the troops in colonial India. One man he passed sported an enormous erection. «Sergeant-Major!» the colonel shouted.»Give this man 30 days compassionate home leave.» «Yessir,» the Sgt. Major replied. A few months later the same thing occurred with the same man. «Sergeant-Major! Give this man another 30 days compassionate home leave,» the Colonel barked. A few months later, same guy, same problem. The Colonel is angry. «Sergeant-Major! Haven’t we given this man two compassionate home leaves?» «Yessir,» the Sgt. Major replies. «Then what’s his problem, Sgt. Major?» the Colonel asks. The Sgt. Major salutes and says, «Sir. It’s you he’s fond of.»
Доклад на тему нью йорк.
Топик computer in our life.
Related topics:
- The Italian colonel had his brigade arrayed in full paradeThe Italian colonel had his brigade arrayed in full parade dress, proudly ready for inspection by the general. That worthy warrior strolled back and forth before the troops, and sniffed and stopped abruptly. «Colonel!» he spat out. «Yes, general!» the colonel quavered. «Your troops, your troops,» stormed the general. «They look very nice, they stand ... Читать далее...
- The Army Airborne major was used to harassmentThe Army Airborne major was used to harassment from Air Force fliers about crazy Army paratroopers jumping out of perfectly good aircraft. «Obviously the Air Force knows there’s no such thing as a ‘perfectly good aircraft,'» the irritated officer finally countered one afternoon, «because they pay you bastards four times as much to stay in ... Читать далее...
- The Colonel’s OrderA COLONEL ISSUED THE FOLLOWING DIRECTIVE TO HIS EXECUTIVE OFFICERS: «Tomorrow evening at approximately 2000 hours Halley’s Comet will be visible in this area; an event which occurs only every 75 years. Have the men fall out in the battalion area in fatigues, and I will explain this rare phenomenon to them. In case of ... Читать далее...
- Перевод слова IndiaIndia — Индия Перевод слова Highway to India — торговый путь в Индию India paper — китайская бумага, тонкая печатная бумага Republic of India — Республика Индия You travelled overland to India? Вы добирались в Индию по суше? Queen Victoria was the Empress of India. Королева Виктория была императрицей Индии. He kicked around India for ... Читать далее...
- Перевод слова troopsTroops — войска Перевод слова Additional troops — дополнительные войска front line troops — войска на линии фронта to lead troops against the enemy — вести войска против врага The Troops invaded at dawn. Войска вторглись на рассвете. Troops were put on high alert. Войска были приведены в состояние повышенной боеготовности. Our Troops attacked the ... Читать далее...
- A young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopersA young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopers. He went though the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher and higher structures, and finally went to take his first jump from an airplane. The next day, he called home to his father to tell him the news. «So, did you ... Читать далее...
- A Manager of a retail clothing store is reviewingA Manager of a retail clothing store is reviewing a potential employee’s application and notices that the man has never worked in retail before. He says to the man, «For a man with no experience, you are certainly asking for a high wage.» «Well Sir,» the applicant replies, «the work is so much harder when ... Читать далее...
- Перевод слова armyArmy — армия Перевод слова Army brass — командующий армией to organize an army — создать армию to raise an army — собрать армию I was an Army brat. Я была армия, брат. The Army was disranked. Армия была дезорганизована. The Army surged forward Армия рванулась вперед. Интересные факты In the Army Now — семнадцатый ... Читать далее...
- A gentler wayAt the morning roll call at Fort Dix, the sergeant called out, «Platoon, atten-HUT! Private Martinez, report to the office. Your brother died last night.» The Chaplain, Rabbi Horowitz, looked on in horror. «Sergeant,» he said afterwards, «that’s a rather cruel and unfeeling way to break tragic news. We must be more gentle and less ... Читать далее...
- There is a guy from ARMY driving from West Point to the MeadowlandsThere’s a guy from ARMY driving from West Point to the Meadowlands, a guy from the NAVY was driving from Annapolis to the Meadowlands, and an Air Force guy who’s driving from McGwire in South Jerz to the Meadowlands just to watch the Jets. In the middle of the night with no other cars on ... Читать далее...
- Giving sad news to a troopThe Captain called the Sergeant in. «Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private Jones’ mother died yesterday. Better go tell him and send him in to see me.» So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the troops. «Listen up, men,» says the Sergeant. «Johnson, report to the mess hall ... Читать далее...
- There was this hooker who mistook a Salvation Army man forThere was this hooker who mistook a Salvation Army man for a soldier and propositioned him. The Salvation Army gent said, «Ma’am, you may be forgiven, as a pitiable victim of circumstances. Tell me, are you familiar with the concept of ‘original sin’?» The hooker replied, «Well, maybe and maybe not. But if it’s «really» ... Читать далее...
- During an Army war gameDuring an Army war game, a commanding officer’s jeep got stuck in the mud. The C. O. saw some men lounging around nearby and asked them to help him get unstuck. «Sorry sir,» said one of the loafers, «but we’ve been classified dead and the umpire said we couldn’t contribute in any way.» The C. ... Читать далее...
- Army needs new recruitsTop Ways The Army Is Trying To Boost Recruiting 8. Military transport flights now earn you Delta frequent flier miles 7. Where else can you shoot guns and get awakened in the middle of the night by loud explosions besides New York, Chicago and Detroit? 6. Get rid of all those creepy «Richard Simmons Wants ... Читать далее...
- Перевод слова BritishBritish — британский, английский Перевод слова British Museum — Британский музей of British origin — британского происхождения his British promoter — его агент в Великобритании He has British nationality. Он имеет британское гражданство. Six British sailors drowned. Шесть британских моряков утонули. She has applied for British citizenship. Она подала заявление на получение британского гражданства....
- High military ranksWhen little Reggie was inducted into the Army, he was advised to act tough. «That’s the only way to command respect in the Army,» his friends said. So Reggie did his best to carry out the advice. He swaggered all around camp, bragging, blustering and talking out of the corner of his mouth. «Show me ... Читать далее...
- British CommonwealthТопик Британское Содружество познакомит вас с существующим в настоящее время добровольным межгосударственным объединением суверенных государств, в которое входят Великобритания и почти все ее бывшие доминионы, колонии и протектораты. Содружество в «новой» форме образовалось в 1949 году. Содружество не имеет Устава, Договора или Конституции. Все 49 государств-членов имеют равный статус и не являются зависимыми одно от ... Читать далее...
- PianoQ: What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A: A flat minor. Q: What do you get if you run over an army officer with a steam roller? A: A flat major. Q: What do you say to an army officer as you’re about to run him or her ... Читать далее...
- India Bans Captive Dolphin Shows as’Morally Unacceptable’NEW DELHI, India, May 20, 2013 (ENS) — India’s Ministry of Environment and Forests has decided to forbid the keeping of captive dolphins for public entertainment anywhere in the country. In a policy statement released Friday, the ministry advised state governments to reject any proposal to establish a dolphinarium «by any person / persons, organizations, ... Читать далее...
- My life in IndiaВ топике Моя жизнь в Индии я постарался рассказать о своей первой поездке в Индию: что меня удивило, что не понравилось сначала и как, впоследствии, эта страна открылась для меня с самой лучшей стороны. Надеюсь посетить эту прекрасную страну еще раз. It is very strange but I have never think that one day I will ... Читать далее...
- Skeleton Lake of Roopkund, IndiaA lake with hundreds of ancient skeletons surrounding it. The surprise is what killed them… In 1942 a British forest guard in Roopkund, India made an alarming discovery. Some 16,000 feet above sea level, at the bottom of a small valley, was a frozen lake absolutely full of skeletons. That summer, the ice melting revealed ... Читать далее...
- British cuisine — Британская кухняAlthough British cuisine is not recognized as a worldwide celebrity like French or Italy cuisine, but it obviously belongs to one of the most refined and special ones. Of course everyone has ever heard of English breakfast and afternoon tea which are an essential part of the Englishmen everyday life. English breakfast can hardly be ... Читать далее...
- British and American families — Британские и американские семьиBritish and American families are small. In fact the populations of both Britain and the USA have stopped growing. The typical family has a father, mother and two children. Grandparents come to visit, but do not usually live with their children. Most people get married between the ages of 20 and 23 but many marriages ... Читать далее...
- MESSAGE FROM THE DUKE OF WELLINGTON TO THE BRITISH FOREIGN OFFICE IN LONDONMESSAGE FROM THE DUKE OF WELLINGTON TO THE BRITISH FOREIGN OFFICE IN LONDON— written from Central Spain, August 1812 Gentlemen, Whilst marching from Portugal to a position which commands the approach to Madrid and the French forces, my officers have been diligently complying with your requests which have been sent by H. M. ship from ... Читать далее...
- A marine general, an army general and a navy admiralA marine general, an army general and a navy admiral were discussing who had the toughest men. The army general says, «Alright, I’ll prove the army has the toughest men in the country. Private, get over here!» The private reports as ordered, «Yes sir?» The general says, «See that man over there? Kill him!» Without ... Читать далее...
- How Army policy beganThis is Army policy all begins… Start with a cage containing five apes. In the cage, hang a banana on a string and put stairs under it. Before long, an ape will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the Banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the apes ... Читать далее...
- British and American FamiliesТопик Британские и американские семьи рассказывает, чем схожи и чем отличаются семьи в Англии и США. Как правило, семьи небольшие, и население обеих стран растет не из-за естественного прироста, а в результате иммиграции. Очень много неполных семей, образ жизни примерно одинаков, но семьи в Америке имеют больший доход, чем в Великобритании. British and American families ... Читать далее...
- Shortly after being assigned to a new base, a LieutenantShortly after being assigned to a new base, a Lieutenant and his wife were invited to the Colonel’s home for an evening of bridge. The Lieutenant was partnered with the Colonel’s wife and vice versa. After many hands, the Lieutenant excused himself to use the toilet, but accidentally left the door ajar. When the sound ... Читать далее...
- Army fitness reportBritish Military Officer Fitness Reports The British Military writes OFR’s (officer fitness reports). The form used for Royal Navy and Marines fitness reports is the S206. The following are actual excerpts taken from people’s «206’s»…. — His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity. — I would not breed from this Officer. ... Читать далее...
- British HomesТопик Британские дома рассказывает о том, какие дома существуют в Великобритании, какие из них дороже, а какие — дешевле и какие из них больше нравятся британцам. There are 22 million homes in Britain — big homes and small homes, old cottages and new buildings, houses and flats. (Americans say «apartment» but British people say «flat»). ... Читать далее...
- Impressing the othersA young Air Force 2nd Lieutenant had just arrived at Misawa AFB in Japan. He’d been given a beautiful renovated office and had it furnished with antiques. Sitting there, he saw an enlisted man come into his outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the officer picked up the phone and started to pretend ... Читать далее...
- Reviewing Job ApplicationsMissy: Okay, let’s sort this Stack of applications into three Piles: good Candidates, those Worth a second look, and definite “no’s.” Jonathan: Well, that didn’t take long. With this poor economy, I thought we’d get An embarrassment of riches, but these applications are pretty Pathetic. I only see two of these people as employee Material. ... Читать далее...
- British Youth — Британская молодежьMost 18 and 19 year-olds in Britain are quite independent people. Relationships within the British family are different now. Children have more freedom to make their own decisions. For example, children aged 13 may be employed part time in Great Britain. Aged 16 they can leave home, marry with «parents’ consent». Age 18 can vote, ... Читать далее...
- How Chuko Liang Used A Lute To Single-Handedly Defeat An Army Of 150,000During China’s Three Kingdoms period there was a brilliant general and master strategist of Shu Han named Chuko «Sleeping Dragon» Liang. During the War of the Three Kingdoms, he had sent a majority of his soldiers many miles away before he was alerted that an opposing army of 150,000 was headed towards the small town ... Читать далее...
- An army private went to see the Medical Captain for a newAn army private went to see the Medical Captain for a new pair of glasses. The Captain looked in his book of record and said, «But you just got a new pair last month!» «Yes sir, b.. b.. but I got them b..broken in an accident,» stammered the private. «Accident, what kind of an accident?» ... Читать далее...
- British Individualism — Британский индивидуализмThe British can be particularly and stubbornly conservative about anything which is perceived as a token of Britishness. In these matters, their conservatism can combine with their individualism; they are rather proud of being different. It is: for example, very difficult to imagine that they will ever agree to change from driving on the left-hand ... Читать далее...
- A drill instructor at Airborne school wasA drill instructor at Airborne school was lecturing a group of new troops on making a proper jump. He told them: «When I yell Stand Up, you Stand Up. When I yell hook up, you hook up. When you go out the door, yell ‘Geronimo!’ and wait for your shoot to open. Got It? Good, ... Читать далее...
- Being Different — British CharacterThe British can be particularly and stubbornly conservative about anything which is perceived as token of Britishness. In these use the same scales that are used nearly everywhere else in the world. But it has had only limited The British can be particularly and stubbornly conservative about anything which is perceived as token of Britishness. ... Читать далее...
- Значение идиомы pull out[pull out] {v. phr.} 1. To withdraw; leave unceremoniously. Thedefeated army hastily pulled out of the occupied territories. 2. Toleave. The train pulled out of Grand CentralStation just as the foreign students got there. 3. To remove byorder; evacuate. Napoleon pulled his beaten troops out of Russia....
- British IslesТопик Британские острова рассказывает об истории возникновения островов, отделившихся от Европейского континента во время Ледникового периода. Вы узнаете о древних народах Британии и ее завоевателях, как эволюционировал древний язык под влиянием языков и диалектов вторгшихся на территорию страны народов. И только в 19-ом веке английский язык стал распространяться по миру, а после 1930 года, действительно, ... Читать далее...
A British Army colonel was reviewing the troops in colonial India