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1. I’ll use my Seeing Eye Dog A blind man with a seeing eye dog at his side walks into a grocery store. The man walks to the middle of the store, picks up the dog by the tail, and starts swinging the dog around in circles over his head. The store manager, who has seen all this, thinks this is quite […]...
2. Complimenting Your Host Anton: Jenny, you’ve Outdone yourself. This is quite a Spread. Jenny: Thank you. I’m glad you approve. Anton: Approve? I think everything on this table looks Exquisite and Mouthwatering. Jenny: That’s nice of you to say. I wanted everything to be perfect. Anton: You’ve Surpassed all expectations. If this food tastes even half as good […]...
3. A man is waiting for his wife to give birth A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion. After 21 years, […]...
4. Dealing With a Mistake Boss: What is going on here?! Jenny: There was a Miscommunication. Boss: A miscommunication?! There are 16 Copiers in this office. Who ordered 16 copiers? Jenny: No one did. Clearly Wires got crossed somewhere. I’ll try To get to the bottom of this, but the copiers will be removed before lunch. Boss: I can’t even […]...
5. Значение идиомы in store [in store] {adj.} or {adv. phr.} 1. Saved up in case of need; readyfor use or for some purpose. If the electricity goes off, we havecandles in store in the closet. The squirrel has plenty of nuts instore for the winter. Compare: IN RESERVE, IN STOCK, ON HAND. 2.Ready to happen; waiting. – Often used […]...
6. Getting Immunizations Required by Schools Jonas: Hi, Jenny. Are you getting your kids ready for school, too? Jenny: Yes, as you can see, we’re buying lots of school supplies. Jonas: Did you get the school letter reminding parents to submit proof of Immunization before the first day of school? I know that your youngest is starting school this year. Jenny: […]...
7. Text Messaging I was supposed to meet Jenny at the library, but I was late. Jenny Texted me: “I M @ lib wher r u?” I’m not very good at texting so I used a Template to say I was going to be late. When I arrived at the library, Jenny laughed at me because she knew […]...
8. Once the club duffer challenged the local golf pro Once the club duffer challenged the local golf pro to a match, with a $100 bet on the side. “But,” said the duffer, “since you’re obviously much better than I, to even it a bit you have to spot me two’gotchas’.” The golf pro didn’t know what a ‘gotcha’ was, but he went along with […]...
9. The definition of a phallic symbol This girl walks in to a doctors office and she asks “Whats a failic symbol? Doctor says “you’re kidding..” Girl says “no! I don’t know! Whats a failic symbol???” Doctor pulls his pants and underwear down and says “You see? This is a failic symbol!” Girl says “Oh! Its just like a penis, only smaller”...
10. Passing a parrot A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store. The parrot said to her, “Hey lady, you are really ugly.” Well, the lady is furious! She stormed past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same […]...
11. A young man, hired by a supermarket, reported for his first day A young man, hired by a supermarket, reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, “Your first job will be to sweep out the store.” “But I’m a college graduate.” the young man replied indignantly. “Oh, I’m sorry. I […]...
12. A lady was in a hardware store looking at A lady was in a hardware store looking at a fishing poles. She asked the store manager how much it was he said ‘I am blind drop it on the ground and i’ll tell ya. She dropped it on the ground.’Aahh that’s 10.00.’ She bent down and let a big fart that everyone heard. But, […]...
13. Getting Rid of Bugs and Rodents Apartment Manager: This is the one-bedroom apartment we have for rent. Let me show you around. Sherin: Wait! Did you see that? It looked like a Mouse or a Rat. Apartment Manager: There aren’t any Rodents or any other Vermin in this Apartment complex. I make sure of that. Sherin: Are you sure? Apartment Manager: […]...
14. A Russian, an Italian and an Irishman got out of work A Russian, an Italian and an Irishman got out of work and were deciding where to go for a drink. The Irishman said “Let’s all go to O’Learys. With every third round, the bartender will give each of us a free Guiness.” The Italian said “That sounds good, but if we go to Baldini’s with […]...
15. Перевод слова manager Manager – управляющий, руководитель, менеджер Перевод слова Manager of distribution – менеджер отдела сбыта branch manager – заведующий отделением, заведующий филиалом campaign manager – руководитель избирательной кампании He was appointed Manager. Его назначили управляющим. He will make a good Manager. Он станет хорошим управляющим. I demand to see the Manager. Я хочу видеть менеджера. Происхождение […]...
16. Значение идиомы free-for-all [free-for-all] {n.} 1. Unlimited, free access to somethingeverybody wants. The Smith’s party was a lavish free-for-all;everybody could eat and drink as much as they wanted. 2. A barroom, tavern, or street fight in which everybody participates. Thecelebration after the soccer game victory turned into anuncontrollable free-for-all....
17. Learning to Act Richard: It’s 6:30 a. m. on Saturday morning. Why are you Banging those Pots and pans? Elizabeth: I have an Audition coming up and I’m Rehearsing. Richard: By banging pots and pans? Elizabeth: I’m Up for a part as a 1950s housewife. I need to Learn my lines and be prepared To improvise. That’s why […]...
18. Значение идиомы for free [for free] {adj. phr.}, {substandard} Without having to pay; free. Hey you guys, look at this balloon! They’re for free down at thenew store....
19. Beware of dog! Upon entering the little country store, the stranger noticed a sign saying DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG! posted on the glass door. Inside he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register. He asked the store manager, “Is THAT the dog folks are supposed to beware of?” “Yep, that’s him,” […]...
20. Learning Fire Safety The apartment manager asked all of the tenants to come to a short meeting to learn about Fire safety. I didn’t want to go, but the manager said that there would be free food, and who am I To turn down free pizza? … Apartment manager: Thank you all for coming to this meeting about […]...
21. A dyslexic nurse Two doctors were in a hospital hallway one day complaining about Nurse Jenny. “She’s incredibly dumb. She does everything absolutely backwards.” said one doctor. “Just last week, I told her to give a patient 2 milligrams of percocet every 10 hours. She gave him 10 milligrams every 2 hours. He nearly died on us!” The […]...
22. Перевод слова drink Drink – пить, напиток Перевод слова Long drink – стакан пива in drink – пьяный; в пьяном виде to drink air – жадно глотать воздух Oh for a Drink! Ах, как хочется пить! I need a Drink. Мне надо выпить. I owe you a Drink. Я должен тебе выпивку....
23. The work qualification test Murphy applied for an engineering position at an Irish firm based in Dublin. An American applied for the same job and both applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the Department manager. Upon completion of the test both men only missed one of the questions. The manager went to Murphy […]...
24. Значение идиомы on one’s last legs [on one’s last legs] {adj. phr.} Failing; near the end. Theblacksmith’s business is on its last legs. The dog is old andsick. He is on his last legs. Compare: ONE FOOT IN THE GRAVE, ONONE’S KNEES....
25. A Manager of a retail clothing store is reviewing A Manager of a retail clothing store is reviewing a potential employee’s application and notices that the man has never worked in retail before. He says to the man, “For a man with no experience, you are certainly asking for a high wage.” “Well Sir,” the applicant replies, “the work is so much harder when […]...
26. Next time you think your hotel bill is too high you might want to consider this Husband and wife are traveling by car from Key West to Boston After almost twenty-four hours on the road, They’re too tired to continue, and they decide to stop for a rest. They stop at a nice hotel and take a room, but they only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back […]...
27. There was a boy who worked in the produce section of the market There was a boy who worked in the produce section of the market. One day, a man came in and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce, but the man replied that he did not need a whole head, but only a […]...
28. Work Environment Work Environment: (Wise manager) + (Wise employee) = PROFIT (Wise manager) + (Dumb employee) = PRODUCTION (Dumb manager) + (Wise employee) = PROMOTION (Dumb manager) + (Dumb employee) = OVERTIME...
29. Communication problem There was this Asian lady married to an American gentleman and they lived in Honolulu. The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but managed to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries. One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy pork legs. […]...
30. Диалог на английском языке с переводом “What a bargain” Jenny Дженни Look what I’ve got. Смотри, что я у меня есть. Fay Фей Wow, that’s the snazziest looking handbag I’ve ever seen. Where did you get it? Ух ты, это самая шикарная сумочка из всех, что я видела. Где ты ее взяла? Jenny Дженни I got it in Paris on my last trip. В […]...
31. Equally qualified Young man Murphy applied for an engineering position at an Irish firm based in Dublin. An American applied for the same job and both applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the Department manager. Upon completion of the test both men only missed one of the questions. The manager went […]...
32. Значение идиомы sea legs [sea legs] {n. phr.} 1. Adjustment to being in a boat that isrocking on the sea. This is my first transatlantic trip so give mea day to get my sea legs before you make me dance. 2. Adjustment to anew job or situation. “I have just been transferred here and Ihaven’t found my sea legs […]...
33. Значение идиомы scrounge around [scrounge around] {v. phr.}, {slang} 1. To search for an objectaimlessly without having one clearly in mind. I don’t know what’sthe matter with him, he is just scrounging around all day long. 2. Tolook around for a way to get a free drink or a free meal. Sue andher husband are so broke they never […]...
34. Question answer 02 Why should you be careful playing against a team of big cats? They might be cheetahs! Manager: Our new midfielder cost ten million. I call him our wonder player Fan: Why’s that? Manager: Everytime he plays I wonder why I bothered to buy him! Why do artists never when they play football? They keep drawing! […]...
35. A man goes to his bank manager and says A man goes to his bank manager and says “I’d like to start a small business how do I go about it?” The bank manager leans back and clasps his hands together on his gut and replies “Buy a big one and wait”...
36. Finding a Bargain Manuel: Wow, I’ve never seen so many shopping bags in my life. I can guess where you’ve been. Georgia: I did Go overboard a bit today. I went to the Outlet mall and I found some real Bargains. Nearly everything was Discounted. I was in shopping Heaven! Manuel: I can see that. Georgia: My favorite […]...
37. Finding a Bargain Manuel: Wow, I’ve never seen so many shopping bags in my life. I can guess where you’ve been. Georgia: I did Go overboard a bit today. I went to the Outlet mall and I found some real Bargains. Nearly everything was Discounted. I was in shopping Heaven! Manuel: I can see that. Georgia: My favorite […]...
38. A hundred dollars A man comes home drunk in the wee hours of the morning to find his wife angry and waiting for him at the door. “Out drinking again!?” she says. “How much money did you spend this time?” “$100,” answers the man. “$100!” she shouts. “That’s ridiculous, spending that much in one night!” “Easy for you […]...
39. Значение идиомы floorwalker [floorwalker] {n.} A section manager in a department store. Toexchange this pair of shoes, you must first get the floorwalker’sapproval....
40. Значение идиомы waiting list [waiting list] {n.} A list of persons waiting to get into something. The nursery school enrollment was complete, so thedirector put our child’s name on the waiting list. The landlordsaid there were no vacant apartments available, but that he would putthe Rogers’ name on the waiting list....