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1. Safe to appearDon was looking for a little «action.» He picked up a sweet young thang at the bar and took her back to his hotel room. Little did he know she was damn near a nymphomaniac. After six times, she was screaming for more. After the *eighth* time, Don told her that he needed to slip ... Читать далее...
2. Who signed the Declaration of Independence?A Kentucky teacher was quizzing her students. «Johnny, who signed the Declaration of Independence?» He said, «Damn if I know.» She was a little put out by his swearing, so she told him to go home and to bring his father with him when he came back. Next day, the father came with his son, ... Читать далее...
3. Перевод слова eighthEighth — восьмой, одна восьмая Перевод слова Henry the Eighth — Генрих VIII three eighths — три восьмых the eighth wonder of the world — восьмое чудо света The Eighth Army had suffered a crushing defeat. Восьмая Армия потерпела сокрушительное поражение. My regiment was brigaded with the Sixth, Seventh, and Eighth Regiments. Мой полк был ... Читать далее...
4. Perfect customerA man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a midwest town he planned to visit on his vacation. He wrote, «I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with ... Читать далее...
5. Перевод слова hotelHotel — гостиница, отель Перевод слова Hotel room — комната в гостинице hotel service — гостиничное обслуживание full hotel service — с полным обслуживанием (уборкой, бельем и т. п.) hotel bill — счет за проживание в гостинице We registered at a Hotel. Мы зарегистрировались в гостинице. Turn left after the Hotel. После отеля поверните налево. ... Читать далее...
6. Значение идиомы pick up[pick up] {v.} 1. To take up; lift. During the morning Mrs. Carter picked up sticks in the yard. 2. {informal} To pay for someoneelse. After lunch, in the restaurant, Uncle Bob picked up thecheck. 3. To take on or away; receive; get. At the next corner thebus stopped and picked up three people. 4. ... Читать далее...
7. A Mistake in the Hotel BillHotel clerk: Here’s the Bill for your four-night stay. Would you like the Incidentals charged to your credit card? May: Incidentals? I think there’s some mistake. I didn’t order any Pay-per-view movies and I never ordered room service. And, I didn’t have any Spa services, either. Hotel clerk: Are you sure? We show three movies ... Читать далее...
8. Jones is checking out of a hotel when suddenly he has toJones is checking out of a hotel when suddenly he has to take a shit real bad. The toilet in his room isn’t working, so he bolts down to use the lobby Men’s Room, but all of the stalls are occupied, so he runs back up to his room, and in desperation, he drops his ... Читать далее...
9. Great roofA rather well proportioned young lady, Joan, spent almost all of her vacation sunbathing on the roof of the hotel. She wore a bathing suit the first day but, on the second, being a naturist, she decided that no one could see her way up there, and she slipped out of it for an overall ... Читать далее...
10. An older Jewish gentleman marries a younger ladyAn older Jewish gentleman marries a younger lady and they are very much in love. However, no matter what the husband does sexually, the woman never achieves orgasm. Since a Jewish wife is entitled to sexual pleasure, they decide to ask the rabbi. The rabbi listens to their story, strokes his beard, and makes the ... Читать далее...
11. Hotel HousekeepingI’m so glad that the hotel I Booked didn’t Turn out To be a Dump. The last time I went on vacation, I booked it online Sight unseen, and it turned out to be a Run down hotel. This hotel was completely different. The Decor was tasteful and updated, the Staff was friendly, and the ... Читать далее...
12. Значение идиомы room service[room service] {n.} Service provided to hotel guests in theirrooms. Also: The hotel workers who give this service. We called forroom service when we wanted ice. Room service will install a TVset in your room upon demand....
13. Biology ClassIn a biology class, the professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen. A young female (FRESHMAN) raised her hand and asked, «If I understand, you’re saying there is a lot of glucose, as in sugar in male semen?» «That’s correct», responded the professor, going on to add statistical info. Raising her hand ... Читать далее...
14. Really torrid honeymoonAfter the third day of a really torrid honeymoon, the young couple finally emerged from their room and walked into the hotel restaurant. After they were seated, the waiter came over to get their orders. The new husband looked at his bride and said, «You know what I really feel like honey?» «Well sure,» she ... Читать далее...
15. Checking into a HotelI Flew into Atlanta the afternoon before a Big meeting. I Hailed a taxi at the airport and told the driver the name of the hotel. I asked him How long it would take to get there. He said it would only be 20 minutes. I sat back and relaxed. We got to the hotel ... Читать далее...
16. Перевод слова sweetSweet — сладкий, милый; конфета Перевод слова Sweet apples — сладкие яблоки sweet girl — милая девушка to like sweets — любить сласти She has a Sweet smile. У нее милая улыбка. Revenge is Sweet. Месть сладка. The Sweet voice of a bird. Мелодичное пение птички. Примеры из жизни Вы могли видеть слово ‘Sweet’ на ... Читать далее...
17. Story about infinityA very large mathematical convention was held in Las Vegas. The conventioneers filled two hotels, each with an infinite number of rooms. The hotels were across the street from each other and were owned by brothers. One evening, while everyone was out at a bar-b-que, one of the hotels burned to the ground. The brothers ... Читать далее...
18. The hotel Astor had hired a new bus driverThe hotel Astor had hired a new bus driver and instructed him to meet all incoming trains and announce at the depot in a very loud voice, «Free bus to the hotel Astor!» On the way to the station on his first trip her kept repeating to himself, «Free bus to the hotel Astor, Free ... Читать далее...
19. The dean of women at an exclusive girl’s collegeThe dean of women at an exclusive girl’s college was lecturing her students on sexual morality. «In moments of temptation,» said the speaker to the class, «ask yourself just one question: Is an hour of pleasure worth a lifetime of shame?» A sweet young thing in the back of the room rose to ask: «How ... Читать далее...
20. Wanting Peace and QuietAfter three days of travel and meetings, I returned to my hotel room ready for some Downtime. All I wanted was some Peace and quiet so I could get a Good night’s sleep. … [phone rings] Carl: Hello. Hotel staff: Hello, Mr. Mendez. I’m calling to welcome you to our hotel. I hope you’re finding ... Читать далее...
21. Перевод слова actionAction — действие, деятельность, поступок, работа Перевод слова Clarion call to action — громкий призыв к действию a coherent plan for action — согласованный план действий to compromise an action — закончить дело миром consecution of action — последовательность действий Lights, camera, Action! Свет, камера, мотор! Now’s the time for Action. Пришло время действовать. The ... Читать далее...
22. Mike Mooney, a Yankee was driving through the southMike Mooney, a Yankee was driving through the south when he decided he wanted to buy a pig. He stopped at a pig farm and told the farmer he wanted to buy a 100 pound pig. The farmer nodded, walked out into the sty, bent over and picked up a pig by its tail with ... Читать далее...
23. A Jewish lady named Mrs. RosenbergA Jewish lady named Mrs. Rosenberg who many years ago was stranded late one night at a fashionable resort — one that did not admit Jews. The desk clerk looked down at his book and said, «Sorry, no room. The hotel is full.» The Jewish lady said, «But your sign says that you have vacancies.» ... Читать далее...
24. Everything we needA young teacher was trying to teach her six-year-old charges about sharing. In the midst of doing so, she said that no one had everything they wanted. At this point, a young arm was energetically pumping at the back of the class. She tried to ignore him, but little Johnny started saying, «oh miss, oh ... Читать далее...
25. Guy goes to hell and is met by the devilGuy goes to hell and is met by the devil, who explains that the punishments are changed every thousand years and he is to select his first punishment. First room has a young guy on the wall being whipped. The new guy not keen on this asks to see the next room. The next room ... Читать далее...
26. What Not to Name Your DogEverybody has a dog called Rover or Spot. I call my dog «Sex». When I went to city hall to buy a licence I told the clerk I wanted a licence for Sex. He said «I’d like one too.» But then I said «This is a dog.» He said he didn’t care what she looked ... Читать далее...
27. Taking Vitamins and SupplementsThe last time I went to the doctor for a Checkup, she told me that I needed to start taking some Dietary supplements that had the Vitamins and Minerals that my body needed to stay healthy. I told her that I ate a Balanced diet, but she said that many people who generally ate well ... Читать далее...
28. Family sexTO MY DEAR WIFE, During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days. The followingis a list of why I did not succeed more often: 54 times the sheets were clean 17 times it was too ... Читать далее...
29. A 54 year old accountant leaves a letter for his wifeA 54 year old accountant leaves a letter for his wife one Friday evening and read’s: Dear Wife (that’s what he called her) I am 54 and by the time you receive this letter I will be at the Grand Hotel with my beautiful and sexy 18 year old secretary. When he arrived at the ... Читать далее...
30. Перевод сленгового выражения give a damn (about someone or something), значение и пример использованияСленговое выражение: give a damn (about someone or something) Перевод: проявлять интерес, беспокоиться, волноваться (часто используется в отрицательном значении — Not give a damn, также отрицательное значение выражению могут придать глаголы Could и Might) Синоним: give a shit; give a rat’s ass Пример: He thinks that people give a damn about this matter, but that’s ... Читать далее...
31. The Young Mans Big MouthThe Young Man’s Big Mouth A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants. «Well,» he said, «I’ve been seeing this girl for a while and she’s really hot. I want the condoms ... Читать далее...
32. One day an older fella was in for a checkupOne day an older fella was in for a checkup. After his examination, his doctor was amazed. «Holy cow! Mr. Edwards, I must say that you are in the greatest shape of any 64 year old I have ever examined!» «Did I say I was 64?» «Well, no, did I read your chart wrong?» «Damn ... Читать далее...
33. An old man of 70 married a young girl of 18An old man of 70 married a young girl of 18. When they got into bed the night after the wedding, he held up three fingers. «Oh honey», said the young nymph, «Does that mean we’re going to do it three times?» «No», said the old man, «It means you can take your pick.»...
34. The modest young lass had just purchased some lingerieThe modest young lass had just purchased some lingerie and asked if she might have the sentence, «If you can read this you’re too damn close» embroidered on her panties and bra. «Yes Madame,» said the clerk. «I’m quite certain that could be done. Would you prefer block or script letters?» «Braille,» she replied....
35. A cowboy walked into a barber shopA cowboy walked into a barber shop, sat on the barber’s chair and said, «I’ll have a shave and a shoe shine.» The barber began to lather his face while a woman with the biggest, firmest, most beautiful breasts that he had ever seen knelt down and began to shine his shoes. The cowboy said, ... Читать далее...
36. Democrats on the front porchThis little old lady calls 911. When the operator answers she yells, «Help, send the police to my house right away! There’s a damn Democrat on my front porch and he’s playing with himself.» «What?» the operator exclaimed. «I said there is a damn Democrat on my front porch playing with himself and he’s weird; ... Читать далее...
37. A well dressed businessman got into a Manhattan cabA well dressed businessman got into a Manhattan cab and asked to be taken to LaGuardia. While stuck in the traffic jam, the businessman leaned forward and said, «How’s your spirit of adventure?» «What do you mean?» «Well, I have to be in Chicago for a meeting, but the thought of flying there just bores ... Читать далее...
38. The woman is on fireA lady was filling her tank at a gas station, smoking a cigarette, even though all the signs say not to. The fumes that came out of the gas tank ignited, severely burning her hands. But it also lit up her arm, too! Instead of rolling on the ground to put it out, she panicked. ... Читать далее...
39. Перевод слова reading-roomReading-room — читальный зал, читальня Перевод слова Village reading room — изба-читальня public reading room — публичный читальный зал village library and reading room — изба-читальня She never left the Reading room unlocked. Она никогда не оставляла открытым читальный зал. I needed to clear the Reading room for Anzac Day. Мне нужно убрать читальный зал ... Читать далее...
40. Перевод идиомы a course of action, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: a course of action Перевод: ход действий; что-либо, чего нужно придерживаться, чтобы что-либо сделать Пример: We decided on our course of action before we told our boss about our decision. Мы продумали ход действий до того, как рассказали своему начальнику о нашем решении....