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You are from Canada

You know your from Manitoba, Canada, when….

You only knowv three spices — salt, pepper and ketchup.

You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

The mosquitoes have landing lights.

You have more miles on your snowblower than your car.

You have 10 favourite recipes for moose meat.

Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas.

You live in a house that has no front step, yet the door is one meter above the ground.

You’ve taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.

Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with snow.

You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.

The local paper covers national and international headlines on 1/4 page, but requires 6 pages for sports.

At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.

The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.

Your snowblower gets stuck on the roof.

You think the start of moose season is a national holiday.

You head south to go to your cottage.

You frequently clean grease off your barbeque so the bears won’t prowl on your deck.

You know which leaves make good toilet paper.

The major parish fund-raiser isn’t bingo — it’s sausage making.

You find -40C a little chilly.

The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freezer.

You attend a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewelry and your Sorels.

You can play road hockey on skates.

You know 4 seasons — Winter, Still Winter, almost Winter and Construction.

The municipality buys a Zamboni before a bus.

You actually get these jokes and forward them to all your Northern friends.



Мое любимое блюдо на английском.
My best holiday.

Related topics:

  1. Перевод слова CanadaCanada — Канада, канадский Перевод слова To immigrate to Canada — иммигрировать в Канаду Bank of Canada — Банк Канады canada balsam — канадский бальзам Canada adjoins the U. S. Канада граничит с США. Her roots are in Canada. Ее предки — выходцы из Канады. Canada is rich in timber. Канада богата строевым лесом. rel=»nofollow»>...
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  3. Canada (2)Топик Канада (2) продолжает знакомить вас со второй по величине, после России, страной в мире. Канада занимает первое место в мире по количеству лесов и богата природными ресурсами. В Канаде хорошо развиты промышленность, сельское хозяйство и рыболовство. Почти 60 процентов населения говорят на английском и 27 процентов говорят по-французски. Канада — одна из стран основателей ... Читать далее...
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  6. History of CanadaТопик История Канады рассказывает об образовании одной из самых развитых стран мира. Считается, что первые люди пришли на территорию современной Канады из Азии около 15 000 лет назад, и именно они были предками индейцев. Затем, около 5000 лет назад, с Аляски пришли предки современных эскимосов. Джон Кэбот первым открыл юго-восточное побережье Канады в 1497 году. ... Читать далее...
  7. Canada — Канада (3)Canada covers all of the North American continent to the North of the USA except Alaska and the small French islands of St. Pierre and Miquelon near the Atlantic coast. Canada is washed bv three oceans: the Atlantic, the Pacific and the Arctic. The population of Canada is about 26 million people. The country occupies ... Читать далее...
  8. College dining hallsThis reminds me of a similar stunt we used to enjoy at the dining hall in my undergrad days. The food service used opaque plastic salt and pepper shakers with pop-off tops that could be pried off with a knife blade if you were persistent enough. PREPARATION (in a restroom nearby): (1) Empty salt ( ... Читать далее...
  9. Canada — КанадаCanada is an independent federative state. It is one of the most developed countries. Canada consists of ten provinces and two territories. It is situated on the North American continent. In size Canada is the second in the world after Russia. Its area is almost 10 million km2. The capital of Canada is Ottawa, which ... Читать далее...
  10. Перевод слова nationalNational — национальный, народный, государственный Перевод слова National budget — государственный бюджет national characteristic — национальные особенности national disaster — национальная катастрофа national flag — национальный флаг national affairs — вопросы государственной политики He’s a National celebrity. Он является национальной знаменитостью. The dancers were in National costume. Танцоры были в национальных костюмах....
  11. Canada languageHow you can spot a Canadian, eh? — Don McGillivray (Ottawa columnist for Southam Newspapers) How do you tell a Canadian from an American? It used to be enough to ask him to say the alphabet. When the Canadian got to the end, he’d say «zed» instead of «zee». But 18 years of Sesame Street ... Читать далее...
  12. Education in CanadaThe school system of Canada is very much like the one in the USA, but there are certain differences. Education in Canada is general and compulsory for children from 6 to 16 years old, and in some provinces — to 14. It is within the competence of the local authorities, and therefore it may differ ... Читать далее...
  13. History of Canada — История КанадыCanada’s history is an exciting story of development of a vast wilderness into a great nation. Most experts believe that the first people who lived on this land came from Asia about 15000 years ago. They came over a land bridge that once connected Asia and North America. Their descendants are known today as Indians. ... Читать далее...
  14. Canada — Канада (1)Canada is the second largest country in the world. Only Russia has a greater land area. Canada is situated in North America. Canada is slightly larger than the United States, but has only about a tenth as many people. About 28 million people live in Canada. About 80 % of the population live within 320 ... Читать далее...
  15. Made in CanadaPresident Bill Clinton called Chretien with an emergency: Our largest condom factory has exploded!» the American President cried, «My people’s favourite form of birth control! This is a true disaster!» «Bill, da Canadian pipple would be ‘appy to do anyt’ing wit’in der power to ‘elp you,» replied the Prime Minister. «I do need your help,» ... Читать далее...
  16. Перевод слова saltSalt — соль, солить, соленый Перевод слова Corn of salt — крупинка соли a dash of salt — щепотка соли low-salt diet — диета с употреблением минимального количества соли Pass the Salt, please. Передайте соль, пожалуйста. The food was pure Salt. Это была не пища, а сплошная соль. He gargled with Salt water. Он полоскал ... Читать далее...
  17. Climate and the Nature of Canada — Климат и природа КанадыCanada is situated in the northern part of the North American continent. It is washed by the Pacific Ocean in the west, by the Atlantic Ocean in the east and by the Arctic Ocean and its seas in the north. That is why the climate and the nature of Canada are much varied. The northern ... Читать далее...
  18. Geographical Position of Canada — Географическое положение КанадыCanada occupies the northern part of the North American continent and some islands. It borders on the USA. The country is washed by the Pacific Ocean in the west, by the Atlantic Ocean in the east and by the Arctic Ocean and its seas in the north. The Canadian north remains one of the least ... Читать далее...
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  20. Once when Mary was young her schoolOnce when Mary was young her school had a halloween party for them mary decided to go as a pirate after she had donned her costume she went into the family room to show her family they were impressed. Mom said you look terrific mary you have your sabre, and your parrot on your shoulder, ... Читать далее...
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  22. The Economy and Trade of Canada — Экономика и торговля КанадыThe Canadian economy is among the worlds soundest. Canada is the seventh-largest trading nation among the industrialised market economies and an active partner in international investment. Canada is a trading nation. About 26 per cent of the country’s total output of goods and services (GDP) is exported — mostly to the United States, which is ... Читать далее...
  23. HalloweenAs a kid, I always liked Halloween. I liked Dressing up in a Costume that I Pick out at the store or, more often, we made out of Odds and ends at home. The best part was going Trick-or-treating. Some years, I went with my brothers and sisters. When I got a little older, I ... Читать далее...
  24. Air Canada flight finds stranded Australian yachtThey were ready to land in Australia, at the end of a 14-hour international flight, when the 270 passengers of an Air Canada flight were suddenly thrown into a high-seas search-and-rescue operation. Flight AC033 diverted after pilot Andrew Robertson got a call from the Australian Maritime Safety Authority on Tuesday to help search for a ... Читать далее...
  25. Canada — Канада (2)Canada is situated on the north of Northern America, washed by the Atlantic Ocean in the east, the Pacific Ocean in the west, and the Arctic Ocean in the north and in the northeast by the Baffin Bay and the Davis Strait, which separate it from Greenland, In the south and in the north Canada ... Читать далее...
  26. Перевод слова pepperPepper — перец; засыпать, забрасывать Перевод слова Corn of black pepper — горошинка черного перца to flavour the stew with black pepper — добавить в рагу черный перец his speech was peppered with jokes — он пересыпал свою речь шутками ground pepper — молотый перец He will Pepper his son. Он задаст перца своему сыну. ... Читать далее...
  27. Education in Canada — Образование в КанадеThe school system of Canada is very much like the one in the USA, but there are certain differences. Education in Canada is general and compulsory for children from 6 to 16 years old, and in some provinces — to 14. It is within the competence of the local authorities, and therefore it may differ ... Читать далее...
  28. SuperglueI was once in a nice family-style restaurant when I observed some kids supergluing the dishes to the table. They also attached the silverware, napkins, salt, pepper, etc. If it wasn’t already nailed down, it was now. They stayed long enough to let the glue set, and then paid and left. They watched as the ... Читать далее...
  29. Перевод слова meatMeat — мясо, пища Перевод слова Broken meat — остатки пищи meat casserole — мясная запеканка to raise cattle for meat — выращивать скот на мясо The Meat is a bit off. Мясо не совсем свежее. The Meat cuts easily. Это мясо легко режется. The meat swims in Gravy. Мясо залито подливкой....
  30. Frasier’s dog Eddie dies aged 16Moose the dog, better known as Eddie in US sitcom Frasier, has died aged 16 in Los Angeles, his trainer has said. The Jack Russell terrier passed away of old age last week at trainer Mathilde Halberg’s home, she told People magazine and the Access Hollywood show. «He just had an incredible charisma and was ... Читать далее...
  31. On the night of a Halloween costume party a couple were havingOn the night of a Halloween costume party a couple were having trouble picking suitable outfits. After a while the wife got mad and stormed out of the room. Fifteen minutes later she came back completely naked execpt for a lemon between her legs. The husband looked at her for a moment and then stormed ... Читать далее...
  32. Another costumeA guy goes into a costume shop. He says, «I’m going to a costume party, I want to go as Adam.» The girl brings out a fig leaf. He says, «Not big enough.» She brings out a bigger one. He says, «Still not big enough.» She brings out a huge fig leaf. He says, «Still ... Читать далее...
  33. Значение идиомы take with a grain of salt[take with a grain of salt] also [take with a pinch of salt] {v. phr.} To accept or believe only in part; not accept too much. A manwho says he is not a candidate for President should usually have hisstatement taken with a grain of salt. We took Uncle George’sstories of the war with a ... Читать далее...
  34. Перевод слова designDesign — дизайн, план, замысел, разработка Перевод слова Far-reaching designs — далеко идущие замыслы conceptual design — эскизный проект design office — конструкторское бюро He Designed the perfect crime. Он спланировал идеальное преступление. This is the natural Design of life. Это естественный ход жизни. He has ambitious Designs for his son. Он строит амбициозные планы, ... Читать далее...
  35. Dinner prepared by kidsA Thanksgiving Cookbook by Mrs. Geraghty’s Kindergarten Class NOTE: Mrs. Geraghty will not be reponsible for medical bills resulting from use of her cookbook. Ivette — Banana Pie You buy some bananas and crust. Then you mash them up and put them in the pie. Then you eat it. Russell — Turkey You cut the ... Читать далее...
  36. One year at halloween the governor was giving a costume partyOne year at halloween the governor was giving a costume party. All the gentry were there and as they arrived the doorman would announce what there characters were. When one couple arrived he announced «Mickey and Minnie Mouse». As the next couple arrived he announced «Tarzan and Jane» and so on as each guest arrived. ... Читать далее...
  37. Значение идиомы back to the salt mines[back to the salt mines] {informal} Back to the job; back to work; back to work that is as hard or as unpleasant as working in a salt mine would be. — An overworked phrase, used humorously. The lunch hour is over, boys. Back to the salt mines! «Vacation is over,» said Billy. «Back to ... Читать далее...
  38. Значение идиомы salt pork[salt pork] {n.} Very fat pork that has been packed in salt ordipped in brine for curing. Mother cooked beans with salt pork forsupper....
  39. Перевод идиомы take something with a pinch of salt / take something with a grain of salt, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: take something with a pinch of salt / take something with a grain of salt Перевод: отнестись к чему-либо с недоверием, с сомнением Пример: You can take everything that our teacher says with a grain of salt. Ко всему, что говорит наш учитель, можно относиться с сомнением....
  40. Canadians love to say’sorry’ so much, we had to make this lawThere’s nothing quite like the classic Canadian apology. You won’t find people in any other country in the world who will say the word «sorry» to someone who is clearly in the wrong. This is a uniquely Canadian phenomenon. So unique, in fact, that the term carries legal weight in the province of Ontario. The ... Читать далее...

You are from Canada