When I was in jr. high, all I wanted was a girl with big breasts

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1. The wealthy, high-society mother of a 17-year-old girlThe wealthy, high-society mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex. Worried the girl might become pregnant, and adversely impact the family’s status, she consulted the family doctor. The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful, and any attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. ... Читать далее...
2. A man comes home from work and finds his wife admiring her breastsA man comes home from work and finds his wife admiring her breasts in the mirror. He asks, «What are you doing?» She replies, «I went to the doctor today, and he told me I have the breasts of a 25 year old.» The husband retorts, «Well, what did he say about your 50 year ... Читать далее...
3. A little girl was walking along a beach in CaliforniaA little girl was walking along a beach in California when she came across a man with no clothes on and just a newspaper covering his genitals. The little girl said, «What do you have under that newspaper, Mister?» The man said, «Nothing, it’s just a bird, now go away!» The man thought nothing of ... Читать далее...
4. A supermarket had a sale on boneless chicken breastsA supermarket had a sale on boneless chicken breasts, and a woman I know intended to stock up. At the store, however, she was disappointed to find only a few skimpy prepackaged portions of the poultry, so she complained to the butcher. «don’t worry, ya,» he said. «I’ll pack some more trays and have them ... Читать далее...
5. A girl from Texas and a girl from New York were seatedA girl from Texas and a girl from New York were seated side by side on an airplane. The girl from Texas, being friendly and all, said: «So, where y’all from?» The New York girl said, «From a place where they know better than to use a preposition at the end of a sentence.» The ... Читать далее...
6. A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball rightA guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground. He finally gets himself to the doctor. He says, «How bad is it doc? I’m going on my honeymoon next week and my fiance is still a virgin in every way.» ... Читать далее...
7. A young peasant girl of fourteenA young peasant girl of fourteen went to work in a broom factory. After 2 months she gave the boss a two-week notice. The boss was quite unhappy to let her go since she was hard working, knew her tasks etc. He called her into his office, «But why?» he asked. «Nothin, I just wanna ... Читать далее...
8. God created woman, and she had 3 breastsGod created woman, and she had 3 breasts. He said to the woman, «Is there anything on you that you’d like to change?» She said, «Yes. Could you get rid of this middle breast?» God snapped his fingers and it was done. She exclaimed, holding the third breast in her hand, «What am I going ... Читать далее...
9. Значение идиомы high as a kite[high as a kite] {adj.} 1. As excited and happy as one can possiblybe. When Eric won the lottery he was high as a kite. 2.Intoxicated or under the influence of some drug. Jeff has beendrinking again and he is high as a kite. Compare: THREE SHEETS IN TOTHE WIND....
10. Пословица / поговорка live high off the hog / eat high off the hog — перевод и значение, пример использованияПословица / поговорка: live high off the hog / eat high off the hog Перевод: жить в роскоши; жить припеваючи Эквивалент в русском языке: как сыр в масле кататься Пример: I have been living high off the hog since I got my new job with its high salary. С тех пор, как я получил свою ... Читать далее...
11. A poor little girl was begging in the streetA poor little girl was begging in the street. A man passed by and the girl mumbled, «Please, sir, give me some money for a fix.» The man answers, astonished, «Good heavens! But, how old are you, little girl?» «I’m eight, sir.» «Oh, my God, and how long have you been into drugs?» «Since I ... Читать далее...
12. Значение идиомы high jinks[high jinks] {n. phr.}, {informal} Noisy or rough gaiety; wildplay; tricks. The sailors were on shore leave, and high jinks wereto be expected. The high school seniors engaged in high jinksafter commencement....
13. A little girl and a little boy were at day careA little girl and a little boy were at day care one day. The girl approaches the boy and says, «Hey Tommy, wanna play house?» He says, «Sure! What do you want me to do?» The girl replies, «I want you to communicate your thoughts.» «Communicate my thoughts?» said a bewildered Tommy. «I have no ... Читать далее...
14. Barry took a girl out on her first dateBarry took a girl out on her first date. When they pulled off into a secluded area around midnight, the girl said, «My mother told me to say no to everything.» «Well,» Barry said, «do you mind if I put my arm around you?» «No,» the girl replied. «Do you mind if I put my ... Читать далее...
15. Перевод слова girlGirl — девочка, девушка Перевод слова Cool girl — клевая, классная девчонка eleven-year-old girl — одиннадцатилетняя девочка lovely girl — красивая девушка She is my best Girl. Она — моя возлюбленная. We had a little Girl. У нас была маленькая дочка. That Girl’s got class! Классная девчонка! Интересные факты Spice Girls — британская женская поп-группа, ... Читать далее...
16. A Girl Scout troop leaderA Girl Scout troop leader suddenly came upon a clearing where a young couple was engaged in oral sex. «Back ladies, back!» cried the leader. «There’s a very dangerous beast out there!» But it was too late, as several of her girls had more-or-less seen the deed happening. They asked their leader what it was ... Читать далее...
17. A little girl goes into the toilet and sees her dad having a showerA little girl goes into the toilet and sees her dad having a shower. It’s at that moment she spots his penis. Pointing at it she says….. «Daddy, daddy, when will I get one of those?» The dad looks at the little girl, looks out the door, looks back at the little girl and winks…. ... Читать далее...
18. The dean of women at an exclusive girl’s collegeThe dean of women at an exclusive girl’s college was lecturing her students on sexual morality. «In moments of temptation,» said the speaker to the class, «ask yourself just one question: Is an hour of pleasure worth a lifetime of shame?» A sweet young thing in the back of the room rose to ask: «How ... Читать далее...
19. Значение идиомы girl friend[girl friend] {n.}, {informal} 1. A female friend or companion. Jane is spending the night at her girlfriend’s house. 2. A boy’ssteady girl; the girl or woman partner in a love affair; girl;sweetheart. John is taking his girl friend to the dance. Contrast:BOYFRIEND....
20. Перевод слова stableStable — конюшня; устойчивый, стабильный, постоянный Перевод слова Stable equilibrium — устойчивое равновесие stable running — ровный ход remount stable — конюшня для ремонтных лошадей Where do you Stable your horses? Где вы ставите своих лошадей? They have a Stable relationship. У них крепкие отношения. Make sure the platform is Stable. Убедитесь в том, что ... Читать далее...
21. A little girl came running into the house cryingA little girl came running into the house crying and miserable from a small cut she just received. She asked her mom for a glass of cider. «Why do you want cider?» asked Mom. «To take the pain away,» sobbed the little girl. Tired of all the tears, Mom poured her a glass. The little ... Читать далее...
22. Перевод слова stabilityStability — устойчивость, стабильность, состояние равновесия Перевод слова Man of stability — надежный человек to disturb stability — нарушать устойчивость social stability — социальная стабильность He put a premium on peace and Stability. Он считает исключительно важным поддержание мира и стабильности. The spinning motion gives a Stability to the axis of rotation. Вращательное движение придает ... Читать далее...
23. GIRL’S CONFESSIONGIRL’S CONFESSION The priest leaned closer to hear the girl’s confession. «So me and my cousin were alone in the house,» she continued, «and went up to my bedroom…» «Go on, my child,» said the priest gently. «I lay down on the bed and Joe got on top of me and put his hand on ... Читать далее...
24. One day this old man was about to have sex with a young girlOne day this old man was about to have sex with a young girl which he did not know. The old man began to put on his condom when the young girl asked him why is he putting one on. She said «you don’t have to worry about getting me pregnant because you are too ... Читать далее...
25. A little girl was out with her GrandmotherA little girl was out with her Grandmother when they came across a couple of dogs mating on the sidewalk. «What are they doing, Grandma?» asked the little girl. The grandmother was embarrased, so she said, «The dog on top has hurt his paw, and the one underneath is carrying him to the doctor.» They’re ... Читать далее...
26. Значение идиомы high[high] See: COME HELL OR HIGH WATER, FLYING HIGH, GO THROUGH HELLAND HIGH WATER, HELL AND HIGH WATER, HIT THE HIGH SPOTS, LIVE HIGH OFFTHE HOG or EAT HIGH ON THE HOG, OFF ONE’S HIGH HORSE, ON TOP OF THEWORLD or SITTING ON TOP OF THE WORLD also SITTING ON HIGHCOTTON, RIDING HIGH....
27. Перевод слова passionPassion — страсть, пыл, энтузиазм Перевод слова Infatuated with a passion — ослепленный страстью passion for gambling — страсть к игре he spoke with passion — он говорил с жаром I have a passion for strawberries — я обожаю клубнику His eyes blazed with Passion. Его глаза горели страстью. Music has always been his Passion. ... Читать далее...
28. High School JobsI got my first Part-time job when I was 15 working at a Car wash in the Summertime. A friend of mine, Rob, worked there and got me the job. I think it paid $2.90 an hour, which I considered a Fortune. There were no Allowances in my family, so most of my brothers and ... Читать далее...
29. An attractive young girl, chaperoned by an ugly old ladyAn attractive young girl, chaperoned by an ugly old lady, entered the doctor’s office. «We have come for an examination,» said the young girl. «Alright,» said the doctor. «Go behind that curtain and take your clothes off.» «No, not me,» said the girl. «it’s my old aunt here.» «Very well,» said the doctor. «Madam, stick ... Читать далее...
30. A little girl was playing up a tree near a churchA little girl was playing up a tree near a church. The priest was taking a walk when he happened to look up the tree and saw the little girl. She had no panties on. He called her down and gave her money to buy a pair of panties. The girl was so happy and ... Читать далее...
31. Значение идиомы working girl[working girl] {n.}, {slang} 1. Aprostitute. I didn’t know Roxanne was a working girl. 2. A girl, usually single, who supports herself by working in an honest job, suchas in an office, etc. The average working girl can’t afford such afancy car....
32. Some of the myths about marriageTOP15.Some of the myths about marriage… Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. Their passion is heating up. Then the wife stops and says: «I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.» The husband says: «WHAT??» The wife explains that he must not be in tune with her emotional ... Читать далее...
33. A little girl was talking to her teacher about whalesA little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a ... Читать далее...
34. One day a guy and a girl were making out in the guy’s carOne day a guy and a girl were making out in the guy’s car in the girl’s driveway. They began to get pretty hot and heavy when the guy reached into his pants and placed his cock in her hand. She froze, jumped up and said, «I’ve got two words for you, DROP DEAD!» Then ... Читать далее...
35. A little nine year old girl was in church with her motherA little nine year old girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill. «Mommy,» she said. «Can we leave now?» «No,» her mother replied. «Well, I think I have to throw up!» «Then go out the front door and to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush.» ... Читать далее...
36. Перевод слова emotionalEmotional — эмоциональный, возбужденный Перевод слова Emotional speech — темпераментная речь emotional need — эмоциональная, психологическая потребность emotional disturbance — нервное расстройство He’s a very Emotional person. Он очень эмоциональный человек. Abortion is a very Emotional issue. Аборт — это очень болезненный вопрос. Their relationship was an Emotional seesaw. Их взаимоотношения были эмоциональными качелями. Происхождение ... Читать далее...
37. Little girl walks into the bathroomA little girl walks into the bathroom and sees her older sister just come out of the shower. The young girl looks at her sisters pussy and asks «What’s that?» Her sister replies «That is my possum, sis!» The young girl replies «Oh, OK» The next day she sees her mother get out of the ... Читать далее...
38. A guy goes up to this girl in a bar and saysA guy goes up to this girl in a bar and says, «Would you like to dance?» The girl says, «I don’t like this song, but even if I did, I wouldn’t dance with you.» The guy says, «I’m sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants.»...
39. A young girl is with her dad at the barbersA young girl is with her dad at the barbers eating some candy, when it slips from her fingers into a pile of hair on the floor. «Oh dear, have you got hair on your candy?» asked the barber. «Don’t be so stupid, I’m only three!!» said the girl!...
40. Sarah was a curious thirteen year old girlSarah was a curious thirteen year old girl. «Mommy,» she said, «I’d like you to answer one question.» «Very good,» replied her mother, «I was wondering when you would become curious about birds, flowers and bees.» «It’s not that,» said the girl. «I know all about screwing. What I would like to know is how ... Читать далее...