Watch out!

Related topics:

1. There were these three morticians talking aboutThere were these three morticians talking about their greatest feats. The first one says, «I had this soldier who stepped on a land mine. Took me three days to get him ready for an open casket funeral!!» The next guy says, «oh yeah? I had this construction worker fall 15 stories, then he got run ... Читать далее...
2. Making Funeral and Burial ArrangementsReiko: When I die, I want a big Funeral. The more Mourners the better! Lucas: Not me. I’m just the opposite. I don’t want any kind of funeral or Wake. I just want to be Cremated and have my Ashes scattered. Reiko: What? You don’t want to be Buried in a beautiful Casket with a ... Читать далее...
3. The minister of a small congregation was about to start his sermonThe minister of a small congregation was about to start his sermon when he noticed a young woman in the front row, wearing a tight dress with her boobs almost hanging out. He couldn’t concentrate on his message to the flock, so he dismissed the service and asked to speak to the woman after everyone ... Читать далее...
4. Перевод слова funeralFuneral — похороны Перевод слова To administer the funeral rites — отправлять похоронные обряды funeral honours — последние почести funeral march — похоронный марш His Funeral will be held on Friday. Его похороны состоятся в пятницу. The family are making arrangements for his Funeral. Семья занимается организацией его похорон. They want the Funeral to be ... Читать далее...
5. A state-of-the-art watchA cowboy walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance then causally looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, «Is your date running late?» «No», he replies,»I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just ... Читать далее...
6. 3 buddies die in a car crash, they go to heaven3 buddies die in a car crash, they go to heaven to an orientation. They are all asked, «When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you? The first guy says, «I would like to hear them say that I ... Читать далее...
7. Перевод слова ceremonyCeremony — церемония, торжество Перевод слова Without ceremony — запросто, без церемоний wedding ceremony — обряд бракосочетания formal ceremony — официальная церемония The Ceremony is about to begin. Церемония вот-вот начнется. He disposed of it without Ceremony. Он распоряжался без церемоний. The Ceremony was of short duration. Церемония была короткой. Интересные факты Свадьба (Ceremony) — ... Читать далее...
8. Giving Bad News and CondolencesI was at the hospital at with my friend, Wendy. Her father was in an accident and she was waiting to talk to the doctor. Doctor: Hello, I’m Dr. Johnson. How are you holding up? Wendy: Oh, I’m fine. Is there any news? Doctor: Yes. I have examined your father’s Test results and I’m afraid ... Читать далее...
9. An attractive woman from New York was driving through a remoteAn attractive woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Texas when her car broke down. An Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town. She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful except that every few minutes ... Читать далее...
10. Значение идиомы wall[wall] See: BACK TO THE WALL, BEAT ONE’S HEAD AGAINST A WALL, CLIMBTHE WALL, FORWARD WALL, HANDWRITING ON THE WALL, HOLE-IN-THE-WALL, STONE WALL or BRICK WALL, TO THE WALL....
11. This elderly woman passed a police van loading up the girlsThis elderly woman passed a police van loading up the girls from a local brothel, and as she passed by, she asked one girl what the lineup was for. the girl shrugged and said, jokingly, «cough drops» and snickered. Just then the cop approached the old gal and said, «What are you doing here, m’am?» ... Читать далее...
12. Room ServiceI was staying at a nice resort hotel in Arizona on a short vacation. I had been out on the Golf course playing a Round of golf. When I got back into the room, I was feeling pretty hungry. I was meeting some friends for a late dinner around 8:30. I wanted a Snack. I ... Читать далее...
13. An extremely loyal fanThere was a Packers fan with a really crappy seat at Lambeau. Looking with his binoculars, he spotted an empty seat on the 50-yard line. Thinking to himself «what a waste» he made his way down to the empty seat. When he arrived at the seat, he asked the man sitting next to it, «Is ... Читать далее...
14. Перевод слова faintFaint — обморок; слабый, ослабевший Перевод слова His breathing became fainter — его дыхание становилось слабее my heart felt faint within me — у меня сердце замерло a dead faint — глубокий обморок, полная потеря сознания We heard a Faint noise. Мы услышали слабый шум. I was Faint with hunger. Я был слаб из-за голода. ... Читать далее...
15. Let him digAn old man and woman were married for years even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation, screams and yelling could be heard deep into the night. A constant statement was heard by the neighbors who feared the man the most. «When I die I will dig my way up and out ... Читать далее...
16. 4 Nuns at a church wanted to watch TV4 Nuns at a church wanted to watch TV. The first one said she wanted to watch the INDY 500. The second one wanted to watch the sexy Shawn Michels on WWF. The third nun said she wanted to watch the knitting channel so she can knit some mittens for the kitchen. The fourth nun ... Читать далее...
17. WeddingsОчень интересный топик Свадьбы познакомит вас со свадебными традициями и обрядами Великобритании и США. Вы узнаете, что существует так называемая «белая свадьба», что из вещей обязательно должна иметь при себе невеста и кто такой «грум». А знаете ли вы, что жених не должен видеться с невестой в день свадьбы, и кому жених доверяет обручальные кольца? ... Читать далее...
18. Watch outФразовый глагол / Phrasal verb Watch out (165) – амер. разг. остерегаться, быть начеку; watch out! осторожно! A woman’s voice rang out. «Watch out, Professor! Женский голос раздался. «Осторожно/Берегитесь, профессор!» (здесь — нападают сзади) Doom: Watch out, you idiot… he’s going for the gun! Дум: Осторожно, ты, идиот… он пошел/идет за пистолетом! «Don’t listen,» whispered ... Читать далее...
19. Значение идиомы pass out[pass out] {v.}, {informal} 1. To lose consciousness; faint. Shewent back to work while she was still sick, and finally she justpassed out. Compare: GIVE OUT. 2. or {slang} [pass out cold] Todrop into a drunken stupor; become unconscious from drink. Afterthree drinks, the man passed out. 3. To die. Life came and wentweakly in ... Читать далее...
20. Значение идиомы be a fly on the wall[be a fly on the wall] {v. phr.} To eavesdrop on a secret conversation. How I wish I could be a fly on the wall to hear what my fiance’s parents are saying about me!...
21. Перевод слова churchChurch — церковь Перевод слова To consecrate a church — освящать церковь to go into the church — принимать духовный сан as poor as a church mouse — бедный, как церковная мышь The Church burnt to the ground. Церковь сгорела дотла. It sounds like the Church bells. Похоже на перезвон колоколов. The Church is seeking ... Читать далее...
22. Значение идиомы bump into[bump into] {v.}, {informal} To meet without expecting to; happen to meet; come upon by accident. Mary was walking down the street, when she suddenly bumped into Joan. Ed was surprised to bump into John at the football game. Syn.: RUN INTO....
23. The first time I went to a drug store to buy condomsThe first time I went to a drug store to buy condoms, I was waited on by a beautiful young woman. She asked what size I wanted and I said I wasn’t sure. So she asked now big I was and I said, «Compared to what?» She held up one finger and asked if I ... Читать далее...
24. Значение идиомы pass on[pass on] {v.} 1. To give an opinion about; judge; settle. Thecollege passed on his application and found him acceptable. Thecommittee recommended three people for the job and the presidentpassed on them. 2. To give away As he grew up, he passed on his clothes to his younger brother. Compare: HAND DOWN. 3. To die. ... Читать далее...
25. There was this man in a mental hospitalThere was this man in a mental hospital. All day he would put his ear to the wall and listen. The doctor would watch this guy do this day after day. So the doctor finally decided to see what the guy was listening to, so he put his ear up to the wall and listened. ... Читать далее...
26. Значение идиомы hold up[hold up] {v.} 1. To raise; lift. John held up his hand. 2. Tosupport; hear; carry. The chair was too weak to hold up Mrs. Smith. 3. To show; call attention to; exhibit. The teacher held upexcellent models of composition for her class to imitate. 4. Tocheck; stop; delay. The wreck held up traffic on ... Читать далее...
27. Strange headline newsThe following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. A bird dropped a snake over a California power station, short-circuiting a line and causing a two-hour blackout. — — — — — — — — — — — — — — ... Читать далее...
28. Two old women were sitting on a bench waiting for their busTwo old women were sitting on a bench waiting for their bus. The buses were running late, and a lot of time passed. Finally, one woman turned to the other and said, «You know, I’ve been sitting here so long, my butt fell asleep!’. The other woman turned to her and said «I know! I ... Читать далее...
29. Значение идиомы hold the fort[hold the fort] {v. phr.} 1. To defend a fort successfully; fightoff attackers. The little group held the fort for days until helpcame. 2. {informal} To keep a position against opposing forces. Friends of civil liberties held the fort during a long debate. 3.{informal} to keep service or operations going It was ChristmasEve, and a ... Читать далее...
30. A partially deaf gentleman was extolling the virtuesA partially deaf gentleman was extolling the virtues of his new hearing aid. «It’s marvelous,» he enthused to a friend. «Since I acquired it I can hear the birds chirping on the hearth. I can also hear clearly a conversation being held in an apartment a full block away!» «You don’t say,» said his friend. ... Читать далее...
31. Watch real baseballTop Ten Signs you’re Not Watching a Real Baseball Team From Late Show with David Letterman; Monday, February 20, 1995 You recognize batter as the kid who sold you a hot dog a couple minutes earlier. Everytime a player slides into second, he busts his hip. They keep shouting «Do over!» When umpire yells, «Strike ... Читать далее...
32. A novel grasp on marriageThe child was a typical four-year-old girl — cute, inquisitive, bright as a new penny. When she expressed difficulty in grasping the concept of marriage, her father decided to pull out his wedding photo album, thinking visual images would help. One page after another, he pointed out the bride arriving at the church, the entrance, ... Читать далее...
33. Перевод слова serviceService — обслуживание, сервис, служба, обслуживать Перевод слова Domestic service — домашняя работа, обязанности слуги the consular service — консульская служба to service a car — обслуживать автомобиль I am glad to be of Service. Рад оказать услугу. He did a year’s military Service. Он отслужил в армии один год. I’m getting the bus home ... Читать далее...
34. A Change Of VowsDuring the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer. «Look, I’ll give you $100 if you’ll change the wedding vows. When you get to me and the part where I’m to promise to ‘love, honor and obey’ and ‘forsaking all others, be faithful to her forever,’ I’d appreciate it if you’d ... Читать далее...
35. A small mixupA florist received an outraged telephone call from a man who had moved his restaurant to a new spot in town. The restaurant owner had been sent a funeral wreath along with a card that read: SINCEREST SYMPATHIES. The florist realized that he must have mixed up two orders and shuddered to think of the ... Читать далее...
36. A woman and her lover are on the bedA woman and her lover are on the bed in the woman’s home, when all of a sudden, they hear the front door open and close. «Oh, no, it’s my husband!» The man says, «Where’s your back door?» «We don’t have a back door» says the woman. The man then asks, «Well, where do you ... Читать далее...
37. Soft and HardA man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, «Ma’am, ... Читать далее...
38. AshamedTwo men and a woman were the sole survivors of a pleasure cruise ship that sank in the Bermuda Triangle. They made it to an uninhabited island. Two weeks later the woman jumped off a cliff because she was so ashamed of what she was doing. Two weeks after that the two men buried her ... Читать далее...
39. Going to a WeddingI got an Invitation in the mail last month that really surprised me. My friend Ulrich was getting married! We went to college together and he always said that he’d never get married. I guess he found his Dream girl in the end. The Church wedding was going to be at 3 p. m. and ... Читать далее...
40. The young lady admired the watch in the store windowThe young lady admired the watch in the store window every time she walked by it. She finally entered the shop one day and said, «Just how much is that watch?» «It’s $2000, ma’am.» «Hmmm. Well, would you consider time payments for it?» «Just what sort of ‘time schedule’ did you have in mind?» «I ... Читать далее...