Trumpet

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1. Viola Q: What is a chord? A: Three violists playing in unison. Q: What is the best recording of the Walton viola concerto? A: Music Minus One. Q: What is the difference between a viola and a trampoline? A: You take off your shoes before you jump on the trampoline. Q: What is the difference between […]...
2. French horn Q: What do you get when you cross a French horn player with a goal post? A: A goal post that can’t march. Q: How many French horn players does it take to change a light bulb? A: Just one, but he’ll spend two hours checking the bulb for alignment and leaks. Q: What do […]...
3. Banjo Q: How many banjo players does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one, but all the others gathered around will complain that that’s not the way Earl Scruggs would have done it. Q: How can you tell the stage you’re playing on is level? A: The banjo player is drooling out of […]...
4. Saxophone Q: What is the difference between a saxophone and a chainsaw? A: It’s all in the grip. Q: What is the difference between a lawnmower and a soprano sax? A: You can tune the lawnmower and the owner’s neighbors don’t mind if you don’t return the sax when you borrow it. Q: What is the […]...
5. Guitar Q: How do you make him stop playing? A: Put notes on it! Q: What did the guitar say to the guitarist? A: Pick on someone your own size! Q: What’s the definition of a minor second? A: Two lead guitarists playing in unison. Q: What do you call two guitarists playing in unison? A: […]...
6. Accordions An accordion is a bagpipe with pleats. Q: What is the definition of an optimist? A: An accordion player with a pager. Q: What is the difference between an Uzi and an accordion? A: The Uzi stops after 20 rounds. Q: What do accordion players use as a contraceptive? A: Their personalities. Q: What’s the […]...
7. Перевод слова minus Minus – минус, отрицательный; без, лишенный чего-либо Перевод слова Book minus its cover – книга без переплета minus coefficient – отрицательный коэффициент minus infinity – минус бесконечность minus mark – знак минус Ten Minus four is six. Десять минус четыре равняется шести. He left the restaurant Minus his hat. Он покинул ресторан без своей шляпы. […]...
8. Bass Q: Why did the bass player get mad at the timpanist? A: He turned a peg and wouldn’t tell the bass player which one. Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one – but the guitarist has to show him first. Q: How many bass players does […]...
9. Значение идиомы x-double minus [x-double minus] {adj.}, {slang}, {informal} Extremely poorly done, bad, inferior. Patsy gave an x-double minus performance at the audition and losther chance for the lead role....
10. Перевод слова greet Greet – приветствовать, здороваться, встретиться; донестись Перевод слова To greet the rising sun – приветствовать восходящее солнце to greet the news with relief – встретить вести с облегчением music greets the ear – музыка услаждает слух the aroma of coffee greeted us – до нас донесся аромат кофе, запахло кофе The President was Greeted with […]...
11. Buying a Digital Audio (MP3) Player Clerk: Can I help you? Sandy: I’m looking for an MP3 player, but I don’t know a lot about them. Clerk: We have a large Selection, as you can see. Sandy: Wow, I really don’t know where to begin. Clerk: What do you want to be able to do? Sandy: I just want something small […]...
12. Buying a Digital Audio (MP3) Player Clerk: Can I help you? Sandy: I’m looking for an MP3 player, but I don’t know a lot about them. Clerk: We have a large Selection, as you can see. Sandy: Wow, I really don’t know where to begin. Clerk: What do you want to be able to do? Sandy: I just want something small […]...
13. English horn Q: What is the difference between hearing an English horn solo and being tortured? A: One is far more painful to your ears. Q: What’s the name of a good English horn player? A: I’ll tell you when I meet one. Q: How many English horn players does it take to change a light bulb? […]...
14. Vocals Q: How do you tell when your lead singer is at the door? A: He can’t find the key and doesn’t know when to come in. Q: What is the difference between a Wagnerian soprano and an All-Pro offensive lineman? A: Stage makeup. Q: How many lead singers does it take to change a light […]...
15. Describing Talent and Ability Kathy: Thanks for inviting me to see your team. Who’s your best player? Brad: That would be Sarah. She’s a Natural. No one comes close to her speed and Dexterity. She has good Instincts and a Flair for getting out of difficult situations. Kathy: She sounds Promising. Anyone else I should be Keeping an eye […]...
16. Golf in the Bedroom Golf in the Bedroom Rules of Play Each player shall provide his own equipment – normally one club and two balls. Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out of the hole. […]...
17. Bagpipes Q: Why do bagpipers walk when they play? A: To get away from the noise. Q: What’s the only thing worse than a bagpiper? A: Good question. We’re still trying to find out too. Bagpipes (noun) – I understand the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man carrying an indignant, asthmatic […]...
18. Clarinet Q: What’s the definition of a nerd? A: Someone who has his or her own alto clarinet. Q: Why do clarinetists leave their cases on the dashboard? A: So they can park in the handicap zones. Q: What do you call a bass-clarinetist with half a brain? A: Gifted. Q: What is the difference between […]...
19. Значение идиомы get the lead out of one’s pants [get the lead out of one’s pants] {v. phr.}, {slang} To get busy;work faster. The captain told the sailors to get the lead out oftheir pants. The coach told the players to get the lead out oftheir pants....
20. Перевод слова difference Difference – различие, разница, несходство Перевод слова Difference of opinion – расхождение во мнениях difference of five pounds – разница в пять фунтов to have a difference with smb. – поспорить с кем-л. It makes no Difference. Какая разница? Can you taste the Difference? Вы можете почувствовать разницу? It makes a vast Difference. Это значительно […]...
21. Перевод слова player Player – игрок, плеер Перевод слова Circumspect player – осторожный игрок composite player – коллективный игрок chess player – игрок в шахматы He’s a very fine Player. Он очень хороший игрок. He’s a keen chess Player. Он фанатичный шахматист. Each Player throws one die. Каждый игрок бросает одну кость. Происхождение слова player Образовано от глагола...
22. A drummer, tired of being ridiculed by his peers A drummer, tired of being ridiculed by his peers, decides to learn how to play some “real” musical instruments. He goes to a music store, walks in, approaches the store clerk, and says “I’ll take that red trumpet over there and that accordion.” The store clerk looks at him a bit funny, and replies “OK, […]...
23. Sports Tryouts Marcela: All right, you’re ready for these Tryouts. You’ve passed your Physical. You’ve trained for months. You’re going To make that team. Kenji: It’s okay. I don’t need a Pep talk. I’m just going to do the best I can. Marcela: Yes, but you want To have your head in the right place. You’re going […]...
24. Adidas Doesn’t Want Players Who Practice Scientology The few people who do practice Scientology think of it as a religion, but it is considered a cult in many parts of the world, including Germany, which is why Adidas, a German sports clothing manufacturer, will cancel any sponsorship deal they have with a player if it turns out he has anything to do […]...
25. Question answer 08 Which goal keeper can jump higher than a crossbar? All of them, a crossbar can’t jump! Why do grasshoppers not go to many football matches? They prefer cricket matches! What stories are told by basketball players? Tall stories! Who won the race between two balls of string? They we’re tied! Why are football players never […]...
26. Перевод слова earn Earn – зарабатывать Перевод слова To earn reward – получать вознаграждение to earn a living – зарабатывать на жизнь to earn praise – заслуживать похвалу She Earns a lot in her new job. Она много зарабатывает на своей новой работе. He now Earns £250,000 a year. Теперь он зарабатывает 250000 фунтов в год. I think […]...
27. Golf A golf course Golf courses have different sizes and shapes. Most of them have 18 holes that are between a hundred and 500 metres long. If you have finished playing all 18 holes you have played a round of golf. Each hole has a starting place, called a tee. This is a small area from […]...
28. Значение идиомы cash in [cash in] {v.} 1. To exchange for the value in money. He paid the bill by cashing in some bonds. When the card game ended, the players cashed in their chips and went home. 2. or [cash in one’s chips] {slang} To die. When the outlaw cashed in his chips, he was buried with his […]...
29. Accountant in Heaven An accountant dies and goes to Heaven. He reaches the pearly gates and is amazed to see a happy crowd all waving banners and chanting his name. After a few minutes St. Peter comes running across and says, “I’m sorry I wasn’t here to greet you personally. God is looking forward to meeting such a […]...
30. Значение идиомы make a difference [make a difference] or [make the difference] {v. phr.} To changethe nature of something or a situation; be important; matter. John’s good score on the test made the difference between his passingor failing the course. It doesn’t make a bit of difference if youare late to my party. I just want you to come....
31. Getting an Advantage in Sports Tammy: What are you doing this year to give your team an Advantage? Phillip: I Have a few tricks up my sleeve. We’re going to have a Winning season. Tammy: Are you going To start Wang? Phillip: No, I’m Redshirting Wang. I want him to sit out his first year so he can Sharpen his […]...
32. Tuba Q: What is the range of a tuba? A: Twenty yards if you’ve got a good arm. Q: What’s a tuba for? A: 1 1/2 X 3 1/2. Q: There are two tubaplayers sitting in a car. Who’s driving? A: The policeman Tuba Player: Did you hear my last recital? Friend: I hope so. Q: […]...
33. England Jokes Q: What’s the difference between England and a tea bag? A: The tea bag stays in the cup longer. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – […]...
34. Making a Comeback Eileen: What are you doing with all that Band equipment? Dex: The guys in the band are planning a Reunion. It’s time for our Comeback. It will be the Stuff of legends! Eileen: Aren’t you afraid of being called Has-beens after all these years? Dex: Bite your tongue. There is a Groundswell of support for […]...
35. Значение идиомы earn one’s keep [earn one’s keep] {v. phr.} To merit one’s salary or keep byperforming the labor or chores that are expected of one. Johnearned his keep at the music conservatory by dusting off all themusical instruments every day....
36. Musician Q: How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb? A: Twenty. 1 to do it and the other 19 to stand around and say, “I can do that!” Q: What do you get if Bach falls off a horse, but has the courage to get on again and continue riding? A: Bach […]...
37. Trombone Q: How do you make a trombone sound like a french horn? A: Stick your hand in the bell and play lots of wrong notes. Q: How do you make a french horn sound like a trombone? A: Take your hand out of the bell and lose all sense of taste. Q: How do you […]...
38. Перевод слова king King – король Перевод слова The King of England – английский король king of beasts – царь зверей, лев king-size cigarette – очень длинная сигарета The King wills it. Такова воля короля. Long live the King! Да здравствует Король! The King is in check. Королю объявлен шах. Интересные факты “Король Лев” (The Lion King) – […]...
39. Значение идиомы split the difference [split the difference] {v. phr.}, {informal} To settle a moneydisagreement by dividing the difference, each person giving up half. Bob offered $25 for Bill’s bicycle and Bill wanted $35; they splitthe difference....
40. There were three men who were lost in the forest There were three men who were lost in the forest. They were then captured by cannibals. The cannibal king then told the prisoners that they could live if they pass the trial. First step of the trial is to go to the forest with the cannibals and get ten pieces of the same kind of […]...