Touring Washington

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1. Washington (4)The capital of the United States of America was founded in 1791 in the District of Columbia. The capital received the name of Washington — after the name of the commander-in-chief of the American army in the War for Independence who became the first President of the United States. President Washington himself took an active ... Читать далее...
2. A blonde walks into the police department looking for a jobA blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer wants to ask her a few questions…. Officer: What’s 2+2? Blonde: Ummmmm… 4! Officer: What’s the square root of 100? Blonde: Ummmm… 10! Officer: Good! Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln? Blonde: Ummmm… I dunno. Officer: Well, you can go home and think ... Читать далее...
3. Washington, D. CThe city of Washington, the capital of the United States ofAmerica is located in the District of Columbia (DC for short)Many people consider Washington DC to be one of the most beatifulcities in the world. It is filled with many parks, wide streetsand impressive buildings. In the centre of the city, in CapitolPark, visitors’ eyes ... Читать далее...
4. Why was Washington made the capital of the United States?After the War of Independence the United States needed a capital city. Different cities in different parts of the country wanted to be the nation’s capital. After all, it was decided to build a new city. In 1791 George Washington, the first president, chose the place where the city now stands. The land around the ... Читать далее...
5. A pollster was taking opinions outside the United NationsA pollster was taking opinions outside the United Nations building in New York City. He approached four men waiting to cross the street: a Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean and a resident New Yorker. He asked, «Excuse me, I would like to ask you your opinion on the current meat shortage?» The Saudi replied, ... Читать далее...
6. Blonde on blondeA blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde. The cop asked to see the blonde’s driver’s license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. «What does it look like?» she finally ... Читать далее...
7. Washington (3)Washington, D. C., is the capital of the US. Its grew to become one of the most important and beautiful cities in the world. It is the site of impressive government buildings, magnificent monuments, important historical places, fine museums and malls. Every year Washington is visited by millions of tourists from all parts of the ... Читать далее...
8. Washington (2)Washington is the capital city of the United States. It is located on the north bank of the Potomac River. George Washington, the first President of the USA, after whom the city was named, selected an area for the capital. A hundred square miles were taken from states of Maryland and Virginia. It was called ... Читать далее...
9. Washington — Вашингтон (2)The beautiful city of Washington D. C. is the capital of the United States and the centre of its government. The capital was named after the first president George Washington and was founded in 1790. It is situated on the Potomac River in the District of Columbia. Washington is not the largest city in the ... Читать далее...
10. He’s drunk at the barOne night a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible DUI violations. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. The man sat in the front seat fumbling around with his ... Читать далее...
11. Time for the weddingA police officer stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. «But officer,» the man began, «I can explain.» «Just be quiet,» snapped the officer. «I’m going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back.» «But, officer, I just wanted to say,» «And I said to keep quiet! You’re ... Читать далее...
12. One night, a police officer was stalking out a particularly rowdy barOne night, a police officer was stalking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible violations of the driving-under-the — influence laws. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. Then, sat in the front seat ... Читать далее...
13. Too much speedingA police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. «But, officer,» the man began, «I can explain» «Just be quiet,» snapped the officer. «I’m going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back.» «But, officer, I just wanted to say» «And I said ... Читать далее...
14. Chief is at a weddingA police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. «But officer,» the man began, «I can explain.» «Just be quiet,» snapped the officer. «I’m going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back.» «But, officer, I just wanted to say,» «And I said ... Читать далее...
15. The reason for runningA police officer attempts to stop a car for speeding and the guy gradually increases his speed until he’s topping 100 mph. He eventually realizes he can’t escape and finally pulls over. The cop approaches the car and says, «It’s been a long day and my tour is almost over, so if you can give ... Читать далее...
16. A girl called the police department and reported thatA girl called the police department and reported that she had been assaulted. The officer who answered the phone, asked, «When did this happen?» She replied, «Last week.» The police then asked, «Why did you wait until now to report it?» Well,» she said. «I didn’t know that I was assaulted until the check bounced.»...
17. There was a man and woman traveling along in their carThere was a man and woman traveling along in their car. The man was driving when a police officer pulls them over. The officer walks up to the window and says «Did you know you were speeding back there.» The lady (who is almost deaf) said to her husband «What did he say, what did ... Читать далее...
18. Fly, baby, fly!A police officer arrives at an accident scene where apparently three blondes have leaped to their death from a very tall building… he suddenly notices that one is still breathing so he approaches her and asks: «why the hell did you three beautiful girls leap out of that building?» The blond answers in a very ... Читать далее...
19. Washington — Вашингтон (1)Washington, the capital of the United States of America, is situated on the Potomac River in the District of Columbia. The district is a piece of land ten miles square and it does not belong to any separate state but to all the states. The district is named in honour of Columbus, the discoverer of ... Читать далее...
20. The woman is on fireA lady was filling her tank at a gas station, smoking a cigarette, even though all the signs say not to. The fumes that came out of the gas tank ignited, severely burning her hands. But it also lit up her arm, too! Instead of rolling on the ground to put it out, she panicked. ... Читать далее...
21. Handling a Traffic StopI was having a great day until I saw the police car behind me with its loud Siren and lights Flashing. I Pulled off the road and waited for the officer to approach my car. Officer: May I see your Driver’s license, proof of insurance, and Car registration, please? Lindsay: Let me get them out ... Читать далее...
22. Getting MuggedVanessa: Stop thief! Police Officer: What happened? Vanessa: I just got Mugged. That guy stole my Purse, Jewelry, camera – all of my Valuables! Police Officer: Were you wearing Flashy jewelry and carrying an expensive camera? Those are big Enticements for muggers. Vanessa: I didn’t have anything on that was flashy and I was Minding ... Читать далее...
23. Washington, D. C. — Вашингтон, округ Колумбия (4)There are two Washingtons in the USA. First Washington is a state in the Pacific Northwest of the United States, the state named after George Washington, the first President of the United States. The state capital is Olympia, and the largest city is Seattle. The second Washington is the capital of the United States of ... Читать далее...
24. Cop wants an excuseA man was driving home late one afternoon, and he was driving above the speed limit. He notices a police car with its red lights on in his rear view mirror. He thinks «I can outrun this guy,» so he floors it and the race is on. The cars are racing down the highway — ... Читать далее...
25. News from WashingtonWASHINGTON, DC — Frustrated by failed attempts to turn public support away from the president, congress today announced it would begin releasing completely fabricated documents and videotapes on Monday. Speaker Newt Gingrich addressed the press at the Capitol this morning. «We feel that with the release of all the documents from the Starr Inquisition, and ... Читать далее...
26. Being Arrested by the PoliceI was walking down the street Minding my own business one evening when I was stopped by a Police officer. After asking me a couple of questions about where I’d been, he told me to put my hands behind my back. He was going To arrest me! He Handcuffed me and gave me the Miranda ... Читать далее...
27. A woman reported the disappearance of her husbandA woman reported the disappearance of her husband to the police. The officer looked at the guy’s photograph, questioned her, and then asked if she wanted to give her husband any message if they found him. «Yes, please» she replied. «Tell him Mother didn’t come after all.»...
28. Washington JokesWashington: Help! We’re Overrun By Nerds And Slackers! — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — Washington: We like our state, so stay ... Читать далее...
29. Obey the speed limitSitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer see’s a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, «This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!»So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are ... Читать далее...
30. Trust a fellow officerA defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial — it went like this: Q: Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene? A: No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away. Q: Officer, who provided this description? A: The officer ... Читать далее...
31. Достопримечательности Вашингтона/ Places of interest in WashingtonНа английском языке Перевод на русский язык Places of interest in Washington Достопримечательности Вашингтона Washington is not only the capital of the United States. It’s also an amazingly beautiful city. Every year millions of people visit Washington in order to see its famous sights. The city was named after the first President of the USA, ... Читать далее...
32. An old lady lived by herself in a small houseAn old lady lived by herself in a small house in a small town. One day she went to the local grocery store and while she was gone a criminal broke into her house, took her clothes off of the line, smashed the watermellons in her garden, shaved her cat and then left when he ... Читать далее...
33. Washington, D. С. — Вашингтон (5)Washington is the capital of the United States of America. It is situated in the District of Columbia and is like no other city of the USA. It’s the world’s largest one-industry city. And that industry is government. The White House, where the US President lives and works, the Capitol, the home of the US ... Читать далее...
34. Getting a Traffic TicketI was driving down the street when I saw a Police car behind me. Suddenly, it turned on its Siren. I realized that I was Being pulled over. Officer: Can I see your Driver’s license, Registration, and Proof of insurance? Ray: Sure. Here you are, officer. Officer: Did you know that you were Speeding? You ... Читать далее...
35. A blonde decided that she was tired of her empty lifeA blonde decided that she was tired of her empty life. She cut her hair and dyed it brown, and set off for a drive. She wanted to do random acts of kindness to see if it would change her life. While driving through the countryside, she came across a farmer who was trying to ... Читать далее...
36. Washington — Вашингтон (3)Washington sprang out of a marshy wilderness. It’s named after George Washington, the first President of the United States. Washington is situated on the Potomac River in the District of Columbia. The District of Columbia is outside the jurisdiction of any state and subjects only to the control of the Federal Congress. Washington is the ... Читать далее...
37. 45 or 82?Joe the lawyer died suddenly, at the age of 45. He got to the gates of Heaven, and the angel standing there said, «We’ve been waiting a long time for you.» «What do you mean,» he replied, «I’m only 45, in the prime of my life. Why did I have to die now?» «45? You’re ... Читать далее...
38. Commiting suicideA blonde and a brunette are living together. The brunette came home from work one day and the blonde had a rope around her waist. The brunette asked why the rope was around her waist. The blonde said that she was trying to commit suicide. The brunette said, «You put it around your neck!» The ... Читать далее...
39. An easy solutionOn a plane bound for New York the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first class section and requested that she move to coach since she did not have a first class ticket. The blonde replied, «I’m blonde; I’m beautiful; I’m going to New York; and I’m not moving.» Not wanting to argue ... Читать далее...
40. A blonde went to the appliance store saleA blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. «I would like to buy this TV,» she told the salesman. «Sorry we don’t sell to blondes,» he replied. She hurried home, dyed her hair, came back again and told the salesman, «I would like to buy this TV.» «Sorry we don’t sell ... Читать далее...