A pollster was taking opinions outside the United Nations

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1. United Nations Membership Membership is open to all peace – loving nations. Today there are about 200 countries in the UN – only very few have not become members. Switzerland joined the UN in 2002 because the Swiss always wanted to be neutral. The main parts of the UN There are 5 main parts in this organization: […]...
2. A man was taking his wife A man was taking his wife, who was pregnant with twins, to the hospital when his car went out of control and crashed. Upon regaining consciousness, he saw his brother, a relentless world-class practical joker, sitting at his bed side. He asked his brother how his wife was and his brother replied, “Don’t worry, everybody […]...
3. A blind man is standing at the corner A blind man is standing at the corner with his seeing eye dog waiting to cross the street, when his pooch lifts his leg and pisses down the side of his nice herringbone tweed trousers. The guy immediately reaches into his jacket pocket and retrieves a doggie biscuit which he starts to offer to Fido. […]...
4. Touring Washington A blonde was visiting Washington, DC for the first time. She wanted to see the Capitol building. Unfortunately, she couldn’t find it, so she asked a police officer for directions, “Excuse me, officer, how do I get to the Capitol building?” The officer replied, “Wait here at this bus stop for the number 54 bus. […]...
5. There was a little old man who had a bit of a speech impediment There was a little old man who had a bit of a speech impediment. One day he went shopping, his first stop was at a hardware store. He went up to the shop assistant and asked “Could I have a fucket please?” The assistant asked”Pardon sir?”. “Can I have a fucket please?” Replied the man. […]...
6. Giving Opinions in a Meeting I was in a department meeting and our manager was asking for our Feedback on improving our product. I had a few ideas and I wanted To get them across, but one of my Colleagues was Giving me a hard time. Marcelo: In my opinion, I think that we need to look at the question […]...
7. What will communism be like when perfected? Little Boy: What will communism be like when perfected? His Father: Everyone will have what he needs. LB: But what if there is a shortage of meat? HF: There will be a sign in the butcher shop saying, “No one needs meat today.”...
8. Taking the Bus in Los Angeles I just moved to L. A. and don’t have a car. Everybody says that you can’t Get around this city without one, but I wanted to Prove them wrong. I asked my neighbor to take me to the downtown Bus station so I could try taking the bus home. She thought I was crazy but […]...
9. Taking Vitamins and Supplements The last time I went to the doctor for a Checkup, she told me that I needed to start taking some Dietary supplements that had the Vitamins and Minerals that my body needed to stay healthy. I told her that I ate a Balanced diet, but she said that many people who generally ate well […]...
10. Перевод слова shortage Shortage – нехватка, недостаток, дефицит Перевод слова Shortage in weight – недовес a shortage of 100 tons – недостача в 100 тонн labor shortage – нехватка рабочей силы memory shortage – недостаточный объем памяти desperate shortage – острая нехватка I doubt if London will ever be rid of its terrible housing Shortage. Я сомневаюсь, что […]...
11. An Irish man went to the courthouse to change his name An Irish man went to the courthouse to change his name legally changed. When he replied, the desk clerk asked “Can i help you sir?” Our man said “Yes, I would like to change my name.” “What is your current name?” asked the clerk. “Martin Arsehole,” replied the man. The clerk laughed, and said “I […]...
12. Перевод слова resident Resident – резидент, постоянный житель Перевод слова Resident surgeon – врач, живущий при больнице resident correspondent – постоянный корреспондент resident program – резидентная программа Kindness is Resident in his nature. Доброта присуща его характеру. The hotel bar was only open to Residents. Бар при гостинице был открыт только для лиц, проживающих в гостинице. Several tribes […]...
13. Значение идиомы cross street [cross street] {n.} A street that crosses a main street and runs on both sides of it. Elm Street is a cross street on Main Street and there is a traffic light there. Compare: THROUGH STREET....
14. Reward for goodness Three men died in a car accident and met Jesus himself at the Pearly Gates. The Lord spoke unto them saying, “I will ask you each a simple question. If you tell the truth I will allow you into heaven, but if you lie….Hell is waiting for you. To the first man the Lord asked, […]...
15. Joe, the neighborhood chronic borrower Joe, the neighborhood chronic borrower approached his neighbor, “Ray, may I borrow your axe?” “Not today,” Ray replied, “I have to make soup.” “What kind of excuse it that?!” demanded Joe. “Well,” confessed Ray, “I admit its a lousy excuse. But, if I don’t want to loan you my axe, one excuse is as good […]...
16. Taking a Standardized Test Dad: It’s time you start preparing for the MCFL Test. Maria: Dad, that’s 12 months away! I don’t need to start looking at Test prep materials right now. Dad: Yes, you do. Like all High-stakes testing, Familiarity with the types of questions you’ll be asked will help you. You need To score well on it […]...
17. The limousine was taking the beautiful raven-haired model The limousine was taking the beautiful raven-haired model to the airport. Halfway there, the front tire went flat. The model said, “Driver, I don’t have time to wait for road service. Can you change it yourself?” The driver said, “Sure.” He got out of the car and proceeded to change the tire, but couldn’t get […]...
18. Taking Chances in Business I’ve always been a pretty Cautious investor. I like my investments to be Conservative and I usually invest only in Sure things. Recently, though, I’ve been Tempted to take more Risk. My friend, Bernie, is a very successful Fund manager and he is willing to let me Get in on one of his Schemes. According […]...
19. Значение идиомы taking pictures [taking pictures] {v. phr.}, {slang}, {citizen’s band radio jargon}To use a radar-operated speed indicator in order to enforce the 55 MPHspeed limit. The Smokeys are taking pictures!...
20. Little Mermaid Three fellows walking along the beach noticed a mermaid sitting on a rock swishing her tail in the foam. The first man waded out to her and said, Hello mermaid! Have you ever been kissed?” She replied, “no sir!” So he kissed her quite thoroughly and asked, “Did you like that?” “Oh, indeed I did, […]...
21. A sailor and a marine are taking a piss A sailor and a marine are taking a piss at a public restroom. The marine finishes first and washes his hands. The sailor just walks to the exit. So the marine says to him: hey, in the marines they teach us to wash our hands after taking a piss. The sailor says: yeah well, in […]...
22. Excuse TO smoke Two teens had been lovers for a few weeks, but the boy was always after the girl to quit smoking. One afternoon, she lit up after some love making, and he said, “You really ought to quit.” She, getting tired of his nagging, said, “I really enjoy a good cigarette after sex.” He replied, “But […]...
23. As US tourists in Israel As US tourists in Israel, a man and his wife were sitting outside a Bethlehem souvenir shop, waiting for fellow tourists. An Arab salesman approached them carrying belts. After an impassioned sales talk yielded no results, he asked where they were from. “America,” the husband replied. Looking at her dark hair and olive skin, the […]...
24. Where are we going An American man, a Russian man, and an African man were all up in a hot-air balloon together. After a few minutes, the Russian man put his hand down through the clouds. “Aaah!” he said. “We’re right over my homeland.” “How can you tell?” asked the American. “I can feel the cold air.” he replied. […]...
25. A priest and a rabbi operated a church and a synagogue A priest and a rabbi operated a church and a synagogue across the street from each other. Since their schedules intertwined, they decided to go in together to buy a car. So they did. They drove it home and parked it in the street between their establishments. A few minutes later, the rabbi looked out […]...
26. The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland Great Britain lies on the Atlantic coast of Western Europe, separated from France by only 34 km of water. It is made up of three countries, England, Scotland and Wales. Great Britain with Northern Ireland forms the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. The capital of the United Kingdom is London, in England. […]...
27. Clean Humor about the Irish It seems three Irishmen, Sean, Michael and Tim, passed over at the same time. Upon encountering the Pearly Gates, they were met by ST. Patrick himself, and he addressed the boys thusly: “Lads, I’m here to welcome you to heaven where you will spend eternity. Just remember one thing, when you go through these gates, […]...
28. It finally dawned “How did it happen?” the doctor asked the middle-aged farmhand as he set the man’s broken leg. “Well, doc, 25 years ago…” “Never mind the past. Tell me how you broke your leg this morning.” “Like I was saying…25 years ago, when I first started working on the farm, that night, right after I’d gone […]...
29. There was an exhibitionist who was taking a trip on an airplane There was an exhibitionist who was taking a trip on an airplane. At the top of the stairs there was a stewardess collecting tickets. When the man got to the top of the stairs, he opened his coat and exposed himself. The stewardess said, “I’m sorry sir. You have to show your ticket here, not […]...
30. Значение идиомы side street [side street] {n.} A street that runs into and ends at a mainstreet. The store is on a side street just off Main Street. TheSpellmans bought a house on a side street that runs off Broad Street. Compare: BACK STREET, CROSS STREET....
31. Перевод слова cross Cross – крест; пересекать Перевод слова Maltese cross – мальтийский крест to cross the Atlantic – пересечь Атлантический океан criss-cross of canals – сеть каналов He Crossed himself. Он перекрестился. I’ll Cross your name off. Я тебя вычеркну. Look both ways before you Cross the street. Смотрите в обе стороны, прежде чем пересечь улицу. Примеры […]...
32. There was a drunk man walking down the street turning There was a drunk man walking down the street turning his car keys back and forth. A policeman came up to him and asked, “Sir, what are you doing?” The drunk replied, “I am looking for my car, the last time I saw it, it was on the end of these keys.” The police officer […]...
33. This snow plow driver from North Dakota This snow plow driver from North Dakota got married. He and his new Bride prepared for their wedding nite. He watched for a while as she spread three different kinds of creams and then a white foam in preparation for their love making. She finally announced that she was ready. The man then asked if […]...
34. Перевод слова north North – Север Перевод слова An expedition to the North Pole – экспедиция на Северный полюс to the north – на север, к северу utmost North – крайний север at a latitude of ten degrees north – на 10 градусе северной широты North pole – Северный полюс They live up North. Они живут на севере. […]...
35. Перевод слова current Current – струя, поток; текущий, современный; электрический ток Перевод слова Current events – текущие события current situation – современное положение to breast the current – идти против течения to carry current – проводить ток My Current status is unemployed. В настоящий момент я безработный. Who is your Current employer? Кто ваш нынешний работодатель? To our […]...
36. Broken leg “How did it happen?” the doctor asked the middle-aged farmhand as he set the man’s broken leg. “Well, doc, 25 years ago…” “Never mind the past! Tell me how you broke your leg this morning.” “Like I was saying… 25 years ago, when I first started working on the farm, that night, right after I’d […]...
37. Taking Pictures My nephew’s wedding is Coming up This Saturday, and I thought it would be nice to take some Candids for the Happy couple. My wife, who’s the Photographer in the family, wasn’t around today, so I decided to Strike out on my own and Head off to the camera shop. I love to shop for […]...
38. For three years, the young attorney had been taking his For three years, the young attorney had been taking his brief vacations at this country inn. The last time he’d finally managed an affair with the innkeeper’s daughter. Looking forward to an exciting few days, he dragged his suitcase up the stairs of the inn, then stopped short. There sat his lover with an infant […]...
39. So this Mexican dude was taking a piss on the side of a building So this Mexican dude was taking a piss on the side of a building and this white dude sees him. After the Mexican is done the white guy asks him, “How come you Mexicans don’t wash your hands after you pee?” And the Mexican guy replies, “Because we Mexicans don’t piss in our hands”...
40. I have a question A father and son went fishing one day. While they were out in the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him. He asked his father, “How does this boat float? The father replied, “Don’t rightly know son.” A little later, the boy looked at his father and asked, “How do fish […]...