Three religious truths

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1. Religious battle golfThe Pope met with the College of Cardinals to discuss a proposal from Shimon Peres, the former leader of Israel. «Your holiness,» said one of the Cardinals, «Mr. Peres wants to determine whether Jews or Catholics are superior, by challenging you to a golf match.» The Pope was greatly disturbed, as he had never held ... Читать далее...
2. A man walked into a gift shop that sold religious itemsA man walked into a gift shop that sold religious items. Near the cash register he saw a display of caps with «WWJD» printed on all of them. He was puzzled over what the letters could mean, but couldn’t figure it out, so he asked the clerk. The clerk replied that the letters stood for ... Читать далее...
3. A theological debateSeveral centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert or leave Italy. There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal. He would have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community. If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy, if the ... Читать далее...
4. Перевод слова religiousReligious — религиозный, верующий Перевод слова Early religious beliefs — религиозные представления в древности a religious ceremony — религиозный обряд he is not religious — он не верит в бога religious bigot — религиозный фанатик My Religious beliefs forbid the drinking of alcohol. Мои религиозные убеждения запрещают употреблять алкоголь. A poet and a profoundly Religious ... Читать далее...
5. Types of Religious LeadersMary: I feel like an idiot! Alexei: Why? What happened? Mary: I just called the Bishop over there “Pope.” Alexei: That’s not so bad. You gave him a promotion. At least you didn’t call him “Rabbi.” Mary: Don’t laugh! When I agreed to work at this Interfaith conference, I didn’t know I’d need a Crash ... Читать далее...
6. The Pope calls a meeting of all the cardinalsThe Pope calls a meeting of all the cardinals. When they have all assembled at the Vatican, he takes them into the meeting hall and states, «I have some really fantastic news and some very terrible news.» Of course, all the cardinals want to hear the good news first, so the Pope tells them, «Jesus ... Читать далее...
7. One Sunday, the pope REALLY wanted to play golfOne Sunday, the pope REALLY wanted to play golf. But he couldn’t, since it was Sunday. But he figured, well, it’s ok if i just play a little bit. So he changed clothes and went out into the green. Up in heaven an angel saw him and reported it to Jesus. However, Jesus didn’t do ... Читать далее...
8. The Naming of JesusA group of biblical scholars were involved in a heated discussion about how Jesus of Nazareth was named. How did he become known as the Messiah, or Christ. One of the scholars argued that the name was a Greek corruption of Aramaic, and purists and fundamentalists ought to use the name Joshua. Another argued that ... Читать далее...
9. Converting to Another ReligionDebbie: Okay, I’m off. I’ll be back around eight o’clock. Marcelo: Hey, where are you going in such a hurry? Debbie: I’m going to my Religious education class. Marcelo: Religious education class? What’s that about? Debbie: Well, I’ve decided To convert to McQuillanism. Marcelo: I’m not familiar with that Denomination. It is Christian, isn’t it? ... Читать далее...
10. Перевод слова faithFaith — вера, доверие, убеждения Перевод слова To shake smb.’s faith — поколебать чью-л. веру the Christian faith — христианство to break one’s faith — отступиться от своих взглядов By my Faith! Клянусь честью! We have discarded our Faith in astrology and witches. Мы покончили с нашей верой в астрологию, ведьм и колдуний. She is ... Читать далее...
11. One balmy evening in Rome the Pope decides toOne balmy evening in Rome the Pope decides to take a walk. He slips out the rear door of the Vatican and is walking through the back alleys of Rome when he sees a ten-year-old boy smoking a cigarette. The Pope gently says to him, «Young man, you’re much too young to smoke!» The kid ... Читать далее...
12. A very religious man lived right next door to an atheistA very religious man lived right next door to an atheist. While the religious one prayed day in, day out, and was constantly on his knees in communion with his Lord, the atheist never even looked twice at a church. However, the atheist’s life was good, he had a well-paying job and a beautiful wife, ... Читать далее...
13. Finding a Chinese JewSid and Al were sitting in a Chinese restaurant. «Sid,» asked Al, «are there any Jews in China?» «I don’t know,» Sid replied. «Why don’t we ask the waiter?» When the waiter came by, Al asked him, «Are there any Chinese Jews?» «I don’t know sir, let me ask,» the waiter replied, and he went ... Читать далее...
14. Merry Christmas lawMerry Christmas in Legal Terms Please accept without obligation, express or implied, these best wishes for an environmentally safe, socially responsible, low stress, non addictive, and gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday as practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice (but with respect for the religious or ... Читать далее...
15. Перевод слова liquorLiquor — напиток; раствор Перевод слова Hard liquors — крепкие напитки spirituous liquor — спиртной напиток process liquor — технологический раствор lime liquor — зольная жидкость bleaching liquor — отбеливающий раствор The room was filled with cases of Liquor. Комната была заполнена коробками со спиртным. Suckers paid exorbitant prices for cut and adulterated Liquor. Пьянчуги ... Читать далее...
16. A Rabbi and a Priest were sitting together on a trainA Rabbi and a Priest were sitting together on a train, and the Rabbi leans over and asks, «So how high can you advance in your organization?» The Priest says «If I am lucky, I guess I could become a Bishop.» «Well, could you get any higher than that?» asks the Rabbi. «I suppose that ... Читать далее...
17. Значение идиомы good faith[good faith] {n.} 1. Belief in another person’s honesty; trust. Uncle Dick let me have the keys to his candy store to show his goodfaith. — Often used in the phrase «in good faith». The teacheraccepted Bob’s excuse for being late in good faith. 2. Honesty ofpurpose; trustworthiness. John agreed to buy Ted’s bicycle for ... Читать далее...
18. Перевод слова ChristianChristian — христианский, христианин, христианка Перевод слова The Christian commonweal — христианский мир law Christian — церковное право to turn Christian — обратиться в христианство She is an evangelical Christian. Она евангельская христианинка. Many of my friends are Christian. Многие мои друзья — христиане. It was a good Christian household. Это была хорошая христианская семья....
19. Christian AtheismChristian Atheists, or non-realistic Christians, want to remove what they see as the fairy tale elements of Christianity. Non-realism (Christian Atheism) Christian Atheists want to remove what they see as the fairy tale elements of Christianity. They prefer to call this a non-realistic version of Christianity, rather than Christian atheism. They say that they do ... Читать далее...
20. Jesus and Moses are sitting in a boat fishingJesus and Moses are sitting in a boat fishing and Jesus says to Moses «I want to do a miracle so we can feel like the good old days.» and Moses says «Yeah sure.» So Jesus gets up and says «I think I’ll walk on the water, that was always a good one.» So Jesus ... Читать далее...
21. Saying NoLiang: I have a favor to ask. Christian: Uh oh, what is it? Liang: I’m doing a project for my class in Culinary school and I need a volunteer to taste some of my Creations. Christian: Not on your life. Liang: But, why? Christian: You don’t remember the last time I was your Guinea pig? ... Читать далее...
22. When this guy heard that the Pope was coming to townWhen this guy heard that the Pope was coming to town, he went out and bought a tuxedo in the hope that the Pope might notice him on the parade route. When he went to the parade, there was this bum standing next to him, with old, dirty clothes on. The the guy’s amazement, when ... Читать далее...
23. A lawyer and the pope were both killed in an accidentA lawyer and the pope were both killed in an accident. The two were in line to see St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter asked the lawyer his name and looked it up in his book. He then asked the Pope for his name, and looked it up in his book also. «Now, ... Читать далее...
24. The Pope vs. the QueenThe Pope and Queen Elizabeth were standing on a balcony beaming at thousands of people in the forecourt below. The Queen says to the Pope out of the corner of her mouth, «I bet you a tenner that I can make every English person in the crowd go wild with just a wave of my ... Читать далее...
25. A Burglar is in Big TroubleA burglar has just made it into the house he’s intending ransacking, and he’s looking around for stuff to steal. All of a sudden, a little voice pipes up, «I can see you, and so can Jesus!» Startled, the burglar looks around the room. No one there at all, so he goes back to his ... Читать далее...
26. Значение идиомы on faith[on faith] {adv. phr.} Without question or proof. He said he wastwenty-one years old and the employment agency took him on faith. He looked so honest that we accepted his story on faith....
27. ZHow offensive is that?How offensive is that? Jesus has just been nailed to the cross and has begun to suffer from the wounds, A crowd has gathered to watch and sympathize with Him. As Jesus looks out over the gathering he calls to one of his apostle’s. «Paul… Paul,» He calls out. Paul hears his name and comes ... Читать далее...
28. A crowd had gathered around a whore andA crowd had gathered around a whore and they were about to stone her. Jesus stepped in front of her and said: «Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone.» From the back of the crowd came this stone which hit Jesus on the head and knocked him down. Jesus turned and looked ... Читать далее...
29. Love JesusBy Dennis DiPasquale The other day I went to the local religious book store, where I saw a HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS bumper sticker. I bought it and put it on the back bumper of my car, and I’m really glad I did. What an uplifting experience followed. I was stopped at the light ... Читать далее...
30. Pope DiesPope Dies The Pope dies and, naturally, goes to heaven. He’s met by the reception committee, and after a whirlwind tour is told that he can enjoy any of the myriad recreations available. He decides that he wants to read all of the ancient original text of the Holy Scriptures, and spends the next eon ... Читать далее...
31. A Jewish lady named Mrs. RosenbergA Jewish lady named Mrs. Rosenberg who many years ago was stranded late one night at a fashionable resort — one that did not admit Jews. The desk clerk looked down at his book and said, «Sorry, no room. The hotel is full.» The Jewish lady said, «But your sign says that you have vacancies.» ... Читать далее...
32. A few years ago, when the Catholic church reform beganA few years ago, when the Catholic church reform began to be much in the news, Mrs. Moskowitz said to Mrs. Finkelstein, «Tell me, Becky, have you heard by chance what’s going on in Rome?» «No,» said Mrs Finkelstein. «I haven’t. What’s going on in Rome?» «A meeting of high Catholic churchmen has, among other ... Читать далее...
33. On the airplane on his way back to Rome, the Pope wasOn the airplane on his way back to Rome, the Pope was doing a crossword puzzle. After a while, he turned the the bishop sitting next to him and said, «What’s a four — letter word ending in «unt» which means «woman»? The bishop said, «Did you try «aunt»? The Pope said, «Mmmm. Do you ... Читать далее...
34. Значение идиомы minority leader[minority leader] {n. phr.} The leader of the political party thathas fewer votes in a legislative house. The minority leader of theSenate supported the bill. The minority leader in the House ofRepresentatives held a caucus. Compare: MAJORITY LEADER....
35. Значение идиомы Jesus boots[Jesus boots] or [Jesus shoes] {n.}, {slang} Men’s sandals, particularly as worn by hippies and very casually dressed people. Idig your Jesus boots, man, they look cool....
36. Биография Томаса Мора на английском языке. Biography of Thomas MoreSir Thomas More, an outstanding public figure of the 16th century was a brilliant lawyer, a royal favourite and Chancellor of England. He was a son of a lawyer. A the age of 12 he went to serve in the household of Cardinal Morton, Archbishop of Canterbury and Chancellor of England; at 14 he went ... Читать далее...
37. Religion in Great BritainТопик Религия в Великобритании рассказывает интересную историю становления англиканской церкви в Англии. Оказывается, Британия была и католической страной, но рассорившись с Папой, король Генрих VIII стал во главе англиканской церкви. Несколько раз религии менялись и в настоящее время, большинство англичан принадлежат к англиканской государственной церкви (одна из крупнейших ветвей протестантского христианства). Распространены также католическая и ... Читать далее...
38. At the Russian War College, the general is a guest lecturerAt the Russian War College, the general is a guest lecturer and tells the class of officers that the session will focus on potential problems and the resulting strategies. One of the officers in the class begins by asking the first question, «Will we have to fight a World War Three?» «Yes, comrades, looks like ... Читать далее...
39. There was an old woman on a plane, sitting next to the PopeThere was an old woman on a plane, sitting next to the Pope. It was stormy outside, and the plane was being rocked by some severe turbulence. So this kindly old lady looked upon Death’s door, and said to her papal neighbour. ‘Father, surely you can do something about this…’ To which the Pope replied, ... Читать далее...
40. All the sameAn airplane takes off from the airport. The Captain is Jewish and the First Officer is Chinese. It’s the first time they’ve flown together and it’s obvious, by the silence, that they don’t get along. After thirty minutes, the Jewish Captain mutters: «I don’t like Chinese.» The First Officer replies: «Oooooh, no like Chinese? Why ... Читать далее...