Three newly incarcerated convicts are discussing how they

Related topics:

1. Перевод слова newlyNewly — вновь, заново, по-новому Перевод слова Furniture newly arranged — по-новому расставленная мебель newly arrived — вновь прибывший newly-born child — новорожденный newly married — новобрачный, новобрачная The offices were Newly tabled. В офисах были поставлены новые столы. That grass is Newly seeded, please get off! Газон только что засеяли, пожалуйста, уйдите с него. ... Читать далее...
2. At a CasinoHanna: Where have you been? I’ve been trying to find you. I just won $80 from this Slot machine. It’s not the Jackpot, but now I’ve Broken even. Tad: That’s really great. Maybe some of your luck will Rub off on me. I’m just about to see what the High rollers are doing. Do you ... Читать далее...
3. The newly married man came home from workThe newly married man came home from work to find his new bride stretched languorously on the sofa, dressed in a negligee. «Guess what I got planned for dinner?» she asked seductively. «And don’t you dare tell me you had it for lunch today.»...
4. Two priests and a rabbi were discussing what portion of theTwo priests and a rabbi were discussing what portion of the weekly collection they kept for themselves. The first priest explained that he drew a circle on the ground, stepped a few paces back and pitched the money towards the circle. What landed in the circle he kept and what landed outside the circle god ... Читать далее...
5. Two men are discussing their livesTwo men are discussing their lives. One says, «I’m getting married. I’m tired of a messy apartment, dirty dishes, and no clothes to wear.» The other one says, «I’m getting divorced for the same reasons.»...
6. The newly divorced womanThe newly divorced woman had never had to be the handyman around the house before, and quickly discovered she was lacking most of the proper tools to do the odd jobs needed. She made a trip to the local hardware store and quickly learned that it was truly a «man’s world» there. Thinking that she ... Читать далее...
7. Three guys are discussing womenThree guys are discussing women. «I like to watch a woman’s tits best,» the first guy says. The second says «I like to look at a woman’s ass.» He asks the third guy «What about you?». «Me? I prefer to see the top of her head.»...
8. Two guys were discussing popular family trendsTwo guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and values. Stu said, «I didn’t sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?» Leroy replied, «I’m not sure, What was her maiden name?»...
9. Two buddies were sharing drinks while discussing their wivesTwo buddies were sharing drinks while discussing their wives. «Does your wife ever… well, you know… does she… well, let you do it doggie style?» asked one of the two. «Well, not exactly,» his friend replied, «She’s into the dog trick aspect of it.» «Oh, I see. Kinky stuff, huh?» «Well… not exactly. More like ... Читать далее...
10. Two men are discussing the age old questionTwo men are discussing the age old question: who enjoys sex more, the man or the woman? A woman walks by and listens in for awhile and then interrupts: «Listen you guys. You know when your ear itches and you put in your little finger and wiggle it around for awhile? Afterward, which feels better, ... Читать далее...
11. An Unusual AilmentA man and a woman are riding next to each other in first class. The man sneezes, pulls out his wang and wipes the tip off. The woman can’t believe what she just saw and decides she is hallucinating. A few minutes pass. The man sneezes again. He pulls out his wang and wipes the ... Читать далее...
12. Перевод слова deckDeck — палуба, настил; колода карт Перевод слова To swab a deck — драить палубу to cut a deck — снимать колоду to shuffle a deck — тасовать карты Let’s go up on Deck. Давайте поднимемся на палубу. Peter stayed below Deck. Питер остался на нижней палубе. The other players accused him of stacking the ... Читать далее...
13. Better than SexA solider stationed in the South Pacific wrote to his wife in the States to please send him a harmonica to occupy his free time and keep his mind off of the local women. The wife complied and sent the best one she could find, along with several dozen lesson & music books. Rotated back ... Читать далее...
14. Judi and a brunette were discussing their boyfriendsJudi and a brunette were discussing their boyfriends. Brunette: Last night I had *three* orgasms in a row! Judi: That’s nothing; last night I had over a hundred. Brunette: My god! I had no idea he was that good. Judi: (looking shocked) Oh, you mean with one guy....
15. Two Polish guys are discussing one’s upcoming weddingTwo Polish guys are discussing one’s upcoming wedding… «I’m not sure if my future bride is a virgin or not.» His buddy replies, «Oh, there’s an easy test for that. All you need is some red paint, some blue paint and a shovel. You paint one ball red and one ball blue. On your honeymoon, ... Читать далее...
16. Three Irish women were discussing their respective matesCould this herald the return of our resident wise man, Cunning Lin Gus? Three Irish women were discussing their respective mates over tea. «I call my man ‘Eight,’ » said the first woman, «Because he’s got eight inches, and we do it eight times a day.» The second woman said in response, «I call my ... Читать далее...
17. Mrs. Schmidlap hires a maid with beautiful blonde hairMrs. Schmidlap hires a maid with beautiful blonde hair. The first morning, the girl pulls off the hair and says, «I wear a wig, because I was born totally hairless. Not a hair on my body, not even down there.» That night, Mrs. Schmidlap tells her husband. He says, «I’ve never seen anything like that. ... Читать далее...
18. Значение идиомы play one’s cards right[play one’s cards right] or [play one’s cards well] {v. phr.},{informal} To use abilities and opportunities so as to be successful;act cleverly; make the best use of your place or skills. Thatmillionaire started with very little but showed a skill in playing hiscards right. People liked Harold, and he played his cards well — and ... Читать далее...
19. Перевод слова jailJail — тюрьма, тюремное заключение Перевод слова To adjudge to jail — приговорить к тюремному заключению to go to jail — попадать в тюрьму to serve time in jail — отсидеть в тюрьме They carted him off to Jail. Они забрали его в тюрьму. He’s been in Jail for three months already. Он просидел в ... Читать далее...
20. Little Johnny had become a real nuisanceLittle Johnny had become a real nuisance while his father tried to concentrate on his Saturday afternoon poker game with friends and relatives. His father tried every way possible to get Johnny to occupy himself…television, ice cream, homework, video games…but the youngster insisted on running back and forth behind the players and calling out the ... Читать далее...
21. Значение идиомы card[card] See: CREDIT CARD, FLASH CARD, HOUSE OF CARDS, IN THE CARDS or ON THE CARDS, LAY ONE’S CARDS ON THE TABLE, PLAY ONE’S CARDS RIGHT, PUT ONE’S CARDS ON THE TABLE, STACK THE CARDS, TRUMP CARD....
22. Значение идиомы on deck[on deck] {adv.} or {adj. phr.} 1. On a floor of a ship open to theoutdoors. The passengers were playing shufflehoard on deck. Thesailors kept busy cleaning and painting on deck. 2. {informal} Readyto do something; present. The scout leader told the boys to be ondeck at 8:00 Saturday morning for the hike. Dick was ... Читать далее...
23. SCHEDULE OF A MANA MAN’S SCHEDULE 1. Get up. 2. Pass gas. 3. Drink cup of black coffee. 4. Pass gas. 5. Dress, skipping shower because «alarm didn’t work». 6. Pass gas. 7. Log on to computer to check porn site before leaving for work. Pass gas while «enjoying» favorite site. 6. Drive to work. Pass gas at ... Читать далее...
24. TraditionsA man and a woman got married, and he told her : » since you are my wife you should respect my traditions and habits…and i have 3 traditions. So, first tradition: On wednesdays i play football with my friends…no matter what..whether it snows or it rains…i dont care..i play football!! -Is it clear for ... Читать далее...
25. Перевод слова playPlay — играть, игра Перевод слова To play billiards — играть в бильярд to play cards — играть в карты play of chance — игра случая to play chords — играть аккорды Let’s Play cards. Давайте играть в карты. On weekends I Play. По выходным я играю. We Play on the varsity. Мы играем за ... Читать далее...
26. Deserted island golfA man is stranded on a desert island, all alone for ten years. One day, he sees a speck in the horizon. He thinks to himself, «It’s not a ship.» The speck gets a little closer and he thinks, «It’s not a boat.» The speck gets even closer and he thinks, «It’s not a raft.» ... Читать далее...
27. Million-dollar bill user pleads ignorance, blames TreasuryA woman who tried to use a fake $1 million bill to buy $1,675 worth of merchandise at Wal-Mart said it was all just a misunderstanding — she thought the bill was real. The United States Treasury does not make $1 million bills. «You can’t keep up with the U. S. Treasury,» said Alice Pike, ... Читать далее...
28. Перевод слова favoriteFavorite — любимый, излюбленный Перевод слова Dial your favorite program — найди свою любимую программу favorite diversion — любимое развлечение favorite menu options — наиболее часто используемые разделы меню Her Favorite color is blue. Ее любимый цвет — голубой. July is my Favorite month. Июль — это мой любимый месяц. He put $20 on the ... Читать далее...
29. Looking to buy a frogA man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, «If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?» The bartender considers it, then agrees. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. ... Читать далее...
30. Newly issued alcohol warningsThe Toronto Board of Health has proposed that warning signs be placed on all alcohol bottles to tip off drinkers about the possible peril of drinking a pint or two of any alcoholic beverage. 1. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with a breath that could knock a buzzard off a ... Читать далее...
31. Discussing a Victory or LossYolanda: Did you see the game last night? Bob: You mean the Crushing victory of my team over yours? Yolanda: That’s not how I would Characterize it. We Fell short in the final seconds, but we played a good game Up until then. Bob: In your dreams. My team Dominated from beginning to end. You’re ... Читать далее...
32. I wrote it!There was this guy walking down the road when he noticed a night club ahead. He went in, went up to the bar and asked for a drink. The bar owner, who was tending bar, said, «I’ve never seen you in her before.» The guy says, «Yes, I’m not from around here. I’m just passing ... Читать далее...
33. Chemistry song 04Deck the Labs Deck the labs with rubber tubing Fa la la la la, la la la la. Use your funnel and your filter Fa la la la la, la la la la. Don we now our goggles and aprons Fa la la la la, la la la la. Before we go to our lab ... Читать далее...
34. Значение идиомы well[well] See: ALL VERY WELL, AS WELL, AS WELL AS, HAIL FELLOW WELLMET, LET WELL ENOUGH ALONE, PLAY ONE’S CARDS RIGHT or PLAY ONE’S CARDSWELL, VERY WELL, WEAR WELL....
35. A man goes into a bar with his pet octopusA man goes into a bar with his pet octopus and says «I’ll bet $50 that no one here has a musical instrument that this octopus CAN’T play’ The people in the bar look around, and someone fetches out an old guitar. The octopus has a look, picks it up, tunes the string, and starts ... Читать далее...
36. Two retired ladies were on the beach in MiamiTwo retired ladies were on the beach in Miami. They were discussing the fact that if they go for a swim, someone might steal their cigarettes, but if they take the cigarettes with them, they will get soaked. Then they notice a gorgeous girl walking out of the ocean. She reaches into the top of ... Читать далее...
37. Значение идиомы lay one’s cards on the table[lay one’s cards on the table] or [lay down one’s cards] or [putone’s cards on the table] {v. phr.}, {informal} To let someone knowyour position and interest openly; deal honestly; act without trickeryor secrets. In talking about buying the property, Peterson laid hiscards on the table about his plans for it. Some of the graduatesof ... Читать далее...
38. Значение идиомы play by ear[play by ear] {v. phr.} 1. To play a musical instrument byremembering the tune, not by reading music. Mary does not know howto read music. She plays the piano by ear. Joe doesn’t need anymusic sheets when he plays his guitar; he knows many songs well andcan play them by ear. 2. {informal} To decide ... Читать далее...
39. Значение идиомы fair play[fair play] {n.} Equal and right action ;justice. The visiting team did not get fair play in the game. The judges decided against Bob, but he said that he had gotten fairplay. Sally’s sense of fair play made her a favorite with herclassmates....
40. Значение идиомы in the cards[in the cards] also [on the cards] {adj. phr.}, {informal} To beexpected; likely to happen; foreseeable; predictable. It was in thecards for the son to succeed his father as head of the business. John finally decided that it wasn’t in the cards for him to succeedwith that company....