Three men: a philosopher, a mathematician and an idiot

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1. How to Keep an Idiot Entertained for Hours I once wrote a book called How to Keep an Idiot Entertained for Hours. It went like this: To keep an idiot entertained for hours, read the next sentence. To keep an idiot entertained for hours, read the previous sentence.” It didn’t sell very well. I thought with the short attention span of people these […]...
2. Перевод слова philosopher Philosopher – философ Перевод слова Cracker-barrel philosopher – доморощенный философ enact a philosopher – разыгрывать философа management philosopher – теоретик менеджмента A long beard does not make a Philosopher. Длинная борода еще не делает человека философом. Our Philosopher was heartily and even frantically in love. Наш философ был сильно и даже неистово влюблен. She wrote […]...
3. An Idiot Son: Dad, what is an idiot? Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can’t understand him. Do you understand me? Son: No....
4. Pick Heaven or Hell One day while walking down the street a highly successful executive woman was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself. “Welcome to Heaven,” said St. Peter. “Before you get settled in though, it seems we have […]...
5. Перевод сленгового выражения idiot box, значение и пример использования Сленговое выражение: idiot box Перевод: телевизор, “ящик” Синоним: boob tube Пример: I wasted my whole night in front of the idiot box. Я всю ночь просидел перед ящиком....
6. A lawyer passed on and found himself in Heaven A lawyer passed on and found himself in Heaven, but not at all happy with his accommodations. He complained to St. Peter, who told him that his only recourse was to appeal his assignment. The lawyer immediately advised that he intended to appeal, but was then told that he would be waiting at least three […]...
7. Значение идиомы devil [devil] See: BETWEEN THE DEVIL AND THE DEEP BLUE SEA, FULL OF THE OLD NICK or FULL OF THE DEVIL, GIVE THE DEVIL HIS DUE, GO TO THE DEVIL, PLAY THE DEVIL WITH, RAISE THE DEVIL, SPEAK OF THE DEVIL AND HE APPEARS....
8. Значение идиомы finger [finger] See: BURN ONE’S FINGERS, CROSS ONE’S FINGERS or KEEP ONE’SFINGERS CROSSED, LAY A FINGER ON, LIFT A FINGER, PUT ONE’S FINGER ONalso LAY ONE’S FINGER ON, SLIP THROUGH ONE’S FINGERS, SNAP ONE’SFINGERS AT, STICKY FINGERS, TWIST AROUND ONE’S LITTLE FINGER, WORKONE’S FINGERS TO THE BONE....
9. Fidel dies and goes to heaven Fidel dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, St. Peter tells him that he is not on the list and that no way, no how, does he belong in heaven. Fidel must go to hell. So Fidel goes to hell where Satan gives him a hearty welcome and tells him to make himself […]...
10. It finally happened A man died and went to Heaven. After reaching the gates to Heaven the man was talking with Saint Peter and he asked, “I know I was good during my life, and I really appreciate being brought to Heaven, but I’m really curious… What does Hell look like?” So Saint Peter thought about it a […]...
11. Amusing Humor about the Irish O’Toole volunteered to take care of his numerous children so that Mom could have an evening out. At bedtime he sent the youngsters upstairs to bed and settled down to read. One child kept creeping down the stairs, but O’Toole kept sending him back up. At 10 o’clock the doorbell rang. It was the next […]...
12. Gates gets punishment Bill Gates suddenly dies and finds himself face to face with God. God stood over Bill Gates and said, “Well Bill, I’m really confused on this one. It’s a tough decision; I’m not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you helped society enormously by putting a computer in almost every […]...
13. The Life of a Great Mathematician. (Nina Karlovna Bari) Nina Karlovna Bari is a great example of a woman who contributed to mathematics. Nina Bari provided the advancement of the theory of trigonometry. She dedicated her life to solving theory functions. Once Bari solved many questions regarding trigonometric series, she shared her findings with many students and colleagues through teaching, lecturing, and giving seminars. […]...
14. How to write a paper 1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well-lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils. 2. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it. 3. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some coffee to help you concentrate. 4. Stop off at the third floor, on the way back […]...
15. Euclid (Famous Mathematician) Euclid of Alexandria is one of the most important and influential mathematicians in history. Living in ancient Alexandria, he wrote The Elements, a geometry textbook used in some places until the twentieth century. His work in geometry provided the foundation on which all future mathematicians were educated. For a man of such great significance to […]...
16. Значение идиомы for the devil [for the devil] or [heck] or [the hell of it] {adv. phr.} For nospecific reason; just for sport and fun. We poured salt into UncleTom’s coffee, just for the heck of it. See: DEVIL OF IT....
17. Значение идиомы give the devil his due [give the devil his due] {v. phr.} To be fair, even to someone whois bad; tell the truth about a person even though you don’t like him, I don’t like Mr. Jones, but to give the devil his due, I must admitthat he is a good teacher....
18. A pedophile dies in a car crash and goes to heaven A pedophile dies in a car crash and goes to heaven. He’s stopped at the pearly gates by St. Peter, who is really miffed: “You swine. How can you have the audacity to try and enter heaven after you have lead such a perverted, ungodly life. Do you think you have a snowballs chance in […]...
19. Пословица / поговорка speak of the devil and he is sure to appear / talk of the devil and he will appear – перевод и значение, пример использования Пословица / поговорка: speak of the devil and he is sure to appear / talk of the devil and he will appear Перевод: легок на помине Эквивалент в русском языке: про волка речь, а он навстречу Пример: We were in the coffee shop talking about our friend when speak of the devil, our friend suddenly […]...
20. This man was sitting quietly reading his paper This man was sitting quietly reading his paper one morning, peacefully enjoying himself, when his wife sneaks up behind him and wacks him on the back of his head with a huge frying pan. Man: “What was that for?” Wife: “What was that piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Marylou written […]...
21. Reading the Newspaper I Fell into the habit of reading the newspaper every morning when I was a kid. Back then, there used to be two daily newspapers-morning Edition and an afternoon edition. Nowadays, of course, many cities in the U. S. have just a morning paper. I’m not too Picky about which newspaper I read, although When […]...
22. Punishment in hell A man dies, and he’s looking in the gates of hell. There he sees John Kennedy with an incredibly ugly girl. The man turns to the Devil and asks why John Kennedy is with this hideous looking person. The Devil replies, “Well, John has done some bad things in his life and that’s his punishment.” […]...
23. Пословица / поговорка better the devil you know than the devil you don’t / better the devil you know than the devil you don’t know – перевод и значение, пример использования Пословица / поговорка: better the devil you know than the devil you don’t / better the devil you know than the devil you don’t know Перевод: лучше известное зло, чем неизвестное Эквивалент в русском языке: из двух зол выбирай меньшее Пример: My friend wanted to change banks but he felt that it was better the […]...
24. Перевод слова devil Devil – дьявол, черт Перевод слова Handsome devil – красавчик clever devil – хитрый черт the devil of a job – адская работа Be a Devil! Давай, рискни!, Давай, смелей! (разг.) The Devil will fetch you! Дьявол придет за вами! He has a Devil of a temper. У него чертовски вспыльчивый характер. Интересные факты “Дьявол […]...
25. Guy goes to hell and is met by the devil Guy goes to hell and is met by the devil, who explains that the punishments are changed every thousand years and he is to select his first punishment. First room has a young guy on the wall being whipped. The new guy not keen on this asks to see the next room. The next room […]...
26. Policemen in Heaven St Peter is standing at heaven’s gate when a man walks up. “Welcome to heaven my son. What did you do with your life?” “I was a policeman,” he responded. “What kind of policeman?” St Peter asked. “I was a vice officer. I kept dangerous narcotics out of the hands of kids.” “Wonderful my son, […]...
27. Значение идиомы go to the devil [go to the devil] {v. phr.}, {informal} 1. To go away, mind yourown business. – Used as a command; considered rude. George told Bobto go to the devil. “Go to the devil!” said Jack, when his sistertried to tell him what to do. 2. To become bad or ruined; becomeuseless. The boy got mixed up […]...
28. Значение идиомы hell [hell] See: COME HELL OR HIGH WATER, GO THROUGH HELL AND HIGHWATER, HELL-ON-WHEELS, LIKE HELL, TO HELL WITH, UNTIL HELL FREEZESOVER, WHEN HELL FREEZES OVER....
29. Значение идиомы devil to pay [devil to pay] {n. phr.} Great trouble. – Used after “the”. There’ll be the devil to pay when the teacher finds out who broke the window. When Jim wrecked his father’s car, there was the devil to pay....
30. My heart set A certain old gentleman thought his eyesight was going bad, and he was advised to go to see an eye doctor. He goes in to see the doctor, and the doctor said, “All right, let’s check you out. You sit down here on this stool. You put your right hand over your right eye and […]...
31. Значение идиомы to hell with [to hell with] or [the hell with] {prep. phr.}, {informal} Used toexpress disgusted rejection of something. It’s slop; the hell withwhat the cook calls it. Compare: FED UP, GIVE A HANG....
32. Перевод слова chair Chair – стул, трон Перевод слова Cane chair – плетеный стул easy chair – удобный стул rocking chair – кресло-качалка He sat down in a Chair. Он сел в кресло. A Chair made of cedar. Стул сделанный из кедра. I’ll get you a Chair. Я принесу вам стул....
33. The Road to Heaven A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them. After a while, they came to […]...
34. Пословица / поговорка give the devil his due – перевод и значение, пример использования Пословица / поговорка: give the devil his due Перевод: отдавать должное и черту (т. е. отдавать должное врагу, плохому человеку и т. п.) Пример: We do not like the man’s personality but you must give the devil his due, his workmanship is wonderful. Нам не нравится характер этого человека, но нужно отдать должное и черту, […]...
35. Ask your question One day at a trial, an eminent psychologist was called to testify. A severe, no-nonsense professional, she sat down in the witness chair, unaware that its rear legs were set precariously on the back of the raised platform. “Will you state your name?” asked the district attorney. Tilting back in her chair she opened her […]...
36. Значение идиомы devil of it [devil of it] or [heck of it] {n. phr.} 1. The worst or most unlucky thing about a trouble or accident; the part that is most regrettable. Andy lost his notebook, and the devil of it was that the notebook contained all his homework for the coming week. When I had a flat tire, the […]...
37. Перевод слова fingers Fingers – пальцы Перевод слова Dexterous fingers – ловкие пальцы to count on one’s fingers – считать на пальцах to snap one’s fingers – щелкать пальцами He snapped his Fingers. Он щелкнул пальцами. We ate with our Fingers. Мы ели руками. His Fingers turned to thumbs. Его пальцы одеревенели. Происхождение слова fingers Множественное число для […]...
38. Capitalist and Socialist Hell A young, ruthless executive died and went to hell. When he got there, he saw one sign that said Capitalist Hell, and another that said Socialist Hell. In front of the Socialist Hell was an incredibly long line, while there was no-one in front of the Capitalist Hell. So the executive asked the guard, “What […]...
39. Naming the kids One day, Mr. Phillard rushed his pregnant wife over to the hospital. As the doctors were prepping his wife, Mr. Phillard’s idiot brother Bill arrived to watch the birth. But when Mr. Phillard saw the blood and everything else, he fainted. When Mr. Phillard woke up he was in a bed with the doctor standing […]...
40. Перевод слова heaven Heaven – небеса, небо; царство небесное, рай Перевод слова The broad expanse of heaven – широкий свод небес a map of the heavens – карта звездного неба the kingdom of heaven – царство небесное The windows of Heaven opened. Разверзлись хляби небесные. Earth’s loveliness or Heaven’s sublimity. Красота земли или величавость небес. I would move […]...