Three acurate guesses

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1. Pillsbury Dough Boy wanted for attempted murderA lady named Linda went to Arkansas last week to visit her in-laws, and while there, went to a store. She parked next to a car with a woman sitting in it, her eyes closed and hands behind her head, apparently sleeping. When Linda came out a while later, she again saw the woman, her ... Читать далее...
2. A young man took a girl out to dinner and a showA young man took a girl out to dinner and a show. They got along very well, and when he asked her if she would like to come up to his apartment for a drink she agreed. After they were at the apartment a while, he asked if he could give her an old fashioned ... Читать далее...
3. A tall woman met a midget at a partyA tall woman met a midget at a party. The midget was barely three feet tall but they were attracted to each other. After a few drinks they went back to the tall woman’s apartment. «I can’t imagine what it will be like making love to a midget,» said the woman, «especially with the size ... Читать далее...
4. A group of Americans was touring IrelandA group of Americans was touring Ireland. One of the women in the group was a real curmudgeon, constantly complaining. The bus seats are uncomfortable. The food is terrible. It’s too hot. It’s too cold. The accommodations are awful. The group arrived at the site of the famous Blarney Stone. «Good luck will be followin’ ... Читать далее...
5. Ending a Bad DateI was on a date From hell. I agreed to go out with this guy who lives in the same apartment building as I do, but he’s turned out to be a real Creep. He was nice enough at the start of the date, but then he started drinking. Now he’s Drunk and I’m miserable. ... Читать далее...
6. During a recent publicity outingDuring a recent publicity outing, Hillary sneaked off to visit a fortune teller of some local repute. In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news. «There’s no easy way to say this, so I’ll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die ... Читать далее...
7. An advantage of being with an older womanIf you act immature enough and hang around long enough, an older woman will just mistake you for another one of her children and let you live at her house rent-free. Older women can afford to support you....
8. Playtonic relationshipA nosey neighbour remonstrated with the woman in the adjoining apartment. «Mrs Smith, do you think it is right that a seventeen year old boy spends three hours every night in your apartment?» Mrs Smith replied. «Its a platonic friendship. Its play for him and a tonic for me.»...
9. Перевод слова apartmentApartment — квартира, апартаменты, жилище Перевод слова Dusky apartment — плохо освещенная комната next-door apartment — соседняя квартира private apartment — частная квартира They busted the Apartment. Они совершили налет на квартиру. Our Apartment is below theirs. Наша квартира находится ниже их. She lives in a small Apartment. Она живет в маленькой квартирке....
10. Marriage quotes 04A man must marry only a very pretty woman in case he should ever want some other man to take her off his hands. — Guitry Ah Mozart! He was happily married — but his wife wasn’t. — Borge Always talk to your wife while you’re making love… if there’s a phone handy. An archaeologist ... Читать далее...
11. Перевод слова kissKiss — поцелуй Перевод слова Deep kiss — глубокий поцелуй, французский поцелуй to kiss the hare’s foot — поцеловать порог, опоздать to throw a kiss — послать воздушный поцелуй Give us a Kiss. Поцелуй меня. She Kissed him goodnight. Она поцеловала его на ночь. Kiss my ass! Поцелуй меня в задницу! Интересные факты KISS — ... Читать далее...
12. One night, an 87-year-old womanOne night, an 87-year-old woman came home from Bingo to find her husband in bed with another woman. Angry, she became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their apartment, killing him instantly. When brought before the court on charges of murder, she was asked if she had anything to say to ... Читать далее...
13. Be afraid if you annoy this husbandA man and woman where on their honeymoon after a long and very happy courtship. On their honeymoon, they decide to take their horses through the beautiful mountain passes of Europe. As the horses were crossing a small stream, the woman’s horse mis-steps and jostles the man’s wife. Once across the stream, the man dismounts, ... Читать далее...
14. Stupid people fearingWANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (actual AP headline) Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her inlaws, and while there, she went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind ... Читать далее...
15. Значение идиомы change hands[change hands] {v. phr.} To change or transfer ownership. Ever since our apartment building changed hands, things are working a lot better....
16. Значение идиомы eye[eye] See: APPLE OF ONE’S EYE, BAT AN EYE or BAT AN EYELASH, BELIEVE ONE’S EYES, CATCH ONE’S EYE, CLEAR-EYED, CLOSE ONE’S EYES orSHUT ONE’S EYES, EYES OPEN, EYE OUT, EYE TO, FEAST ONE’S EYES ON, FOUR-EYES, GET THE EYE, GIVE THE EYE, GREEN-EYED MONSTER, HALF AN EYE, HAVE AN EYE ON, HAVE EYES ONLY ... Читать далее...
17. Getting Rid of Bugs and RodentsApartment Manager: This is the one-bedroom apartment we have for rent. Let me show you around. Sherin: Wait! Did you see that? It looked like a Mouse or a Rat. Apartment Manager: There aren’t any Rodents or any other Vermin in this Apartment complex. I make sure of that. Sherin: Are you sure? Apartment Manager: ... Читать далее...
18. Definition of Outdoor BarbecuingDefinition of Outdoor Barbecuing ——————————— It’s the only type of cooking a «real» man will do. When a man volunteers to do such cooking, the following chain of events is put into motion. (1) The woman goes to the store. (2) The woman fixes the salad, vegetables, and dessert. (3) The woman prepares the meat ... Читать далее...
19. Значение идиомы kiss someone[kiss someone] or [something goodbye] {v. phr.} To lose or give upsomeone or something forever. «If you won’t marry Jane,» Peter saidto Tom, «you might as well kiss her goodbye.» People who bet on alosing horse at the races might as well kiss their money goodbye....
20. The little sexy housewife was built so wellThe little sexy housewife was built so well the TV repairman couldn’t keep his eyes off of her. Every time she came in the room, he’d near about jerk his neck right out of joint looking at her. When he’d finished she paid him and said, «I’m going to make a. . . well. . ... Читать далее...
21. Her senses swam. She was overcome with an aching desireThe woman entered the room, and with a knowing smile teasing her full lips, she sank into the comfort of the plush chair in the corner. The handsome stranger turned, having sensed her approach. Locking his steely grey eyes on hers, he moved slowly toward her, his experienced gaze measuring her, hypnotizing her with his ... Читать далее...
22. Kiss meyeah!«Kiss me,» said the young lady urgently. «Please kiss me.» But the young man turned his head away, saying, «Of course not. How can I? I’m your own brother-in-law. Hell, we shouldn’t even be lying here making love.»...
23. Упражнения «Модальные глаголы must, might, could, can’t, may для выражения догадок, возможности и предположений: modal verbs for guesses, possibility and speculations» (с ответами)1. Переведите предложения с модальными глаголами. You might not like this salmon salad. The excursion might be quite dangerous. He might have been trying to contact you. She might not have noticed the approaching bus. I must have left my bag in the taxi. It must be raining outside. This electricity bill can’t be right. ... Читать далее...
24. A Good ListenerWoman: Hi, Long time no see. How have you been? Man: Oh, I’ve been fine, but I’m having some trouble with my son. Woman: Tell me all about it. Man: Oh, he’s 14 and in the past few months, he’s become quieter and a bit Secretive. He locks himself in his room and I think ... Читать далее...
25. THE CROCODILE OR THE WHALE?The woman came to the zoo with her little son. They came to the cage with a mystery big animal in it. -Look, son, this is a whale,-said the woman. -I am sorry, but this is a crocodile,-said the man. -No, this is a whale,-the woman was very stubbron, as a donkey. During this time ... Читать далее...
26. Strange people are hereThere was a young Scottish boy called Angus who decided to try life in Australia. He found an apartment in a small block and settled in. After a week or two, his mother called from Aberdeen to see how her son was doing in his new life. ‘I’m fine, ‘ Angus said. ‘But there are ... Читать далее...
27. A talking FrogA man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, «If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.» He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, «If you kiss me and turn me back ... Читать далее...
28. An older woman was in the pastoral studyAn older woman was in the pastoral study counceling for her upcoming fourth wedding. «Father,» she said, «How am I going to tell my husband that I am still a virgin?» «My child, you have been a married woman for many years. Surely that cannot be,» he replied. «Well Father, my first husband was a ... Читать далее...
29. OUCH!OUCH! A couple hobbled into a Washington emergency room covered in bloody restaurant towels. The man had his around his waist, and the woman had hers around her head. They eventually explained to doctors that they had gone out that evening for a romantic dinner. Overcome with passion, the woman crept under the table to ... Читать далее...
30. For his wife’s birthday party, a doctor ordered a cakeFor his wife’s birthday party, a doctor ordered a cake with this inscription: «You are not getting older, You are just getting better.» When asked how he wanted it arranged, he said, «Just put ‘You are not getting older’ at the top, and ‘You are just getting better’ at the bottom.» It wasn’t until the ... Читать далее...
31. Learning Fire SafetyThe apartment manager asked all of the tenants to come to a short meeting to learn about Fire safety. I didn’t want to go, but the manager said that there would be free food, and who am I To turn down free pizza? … Apartment manager: Thank you all for coming to this meeting about ... Читать далее...
32. Two confirmed bachelors sat talkingTwo confirmed bachelors sat talking. Their conversation drifted from politics to cooking. «I got a cookbook once,» said the first, «but I could never do anything with it.» «Too much fancy cooking in it, eh?» asked the second. «You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same way — ‘Take a clean dish ... Читать далее...
33. One day the different parts of the bodyOne day the different parts of the body were having an argument to see which should be in charge. The brain said «I do all the thinking so I’m the most important and I should be in charge.» The eyes said «I see everything and let the rest of you know where we are, so ... Читать далее...
34. Finding a RoommateCarlos: Now that your boyfriend has moved out, you need a Roommate. There’s no way you can Afford this apartment on your own. Inez: I know, but I really don’t want to live with a Stranger. I’d have To put up with all of their Quirks. Carlos: I don’t think you have a choice. You ... Читать далее...
35. A woman strode angrily into the largeA woman strode angrily into the large drug-store-cum-general-store, slapped a package on the counter, and loudly expressed her dissatisfaction. The clerk asked, «What’s the problem? Wouldn’t your cat eat them?» The woman’s eyes got very large, and she whispered, «Do you mean to tell me that Pussy Treats are meant for ‘cats’?»...
36. Birth controlSome women are gathered and the subject of conversation turns to sex and then birth control. The first woman says «We’re Catholic so we can’t use it.» The next woman says «I am too but we use the rhythm method.» The third woman says «We use the bucket and saucer method.» «What the heck is ... Читать далее...
37. Describing NudityVenus: Kids, cover your eyes! Don’t look at that. I didn’t know there would be Nudity here. Why did you bring us here? Milo: I brought you here to see this celebration of the beauty of the Human form. Venus: This is Obscene! Look at the Bare breasts on that one and the one over ... Читать далее...
38. Значение идиомы on one’s hands[on one’s hands] {adv.} or {adj. phr.} In your care orresponsibility; that you must do something about. Mrs. Blake lefther five children with me while she shopped. I could not get anythingdone with the children on my hands. After everyone bought ticketsto the dance, the club treasurer had over $100 on his hands. Theelectricity went ... Читать далее...
39. Conversation over dinnerConversation over dinner: WOMAN: What would you do if I died? Would you get married again? MAN: Definitely not! WOMAN: Why not — don’t you like being married? MAN: Of course I do. WOMAN: Then why wouldn’t you remarry? MAN: Okay, I’d get married again. WOMAN: You would? (with a hurtful look on her face) ... Читать далее...
40. Перевод сленгового выражения have eyes for, значение и пример использованияСленговое выражение: have eyes for Перевод: желать, хотеть; считать кого-либо физически привлекательным Пример: I think my boyfriend has eyes for another woman. Мне кажется, что мой молодой человек желает другой женщины....