This man was having problems getting it up to have sex

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1. Значение идиомы finger[finger] See: BURN ONE’S FINGERS, CROSS ONE’S FINGERS or KEEP ONE’SFINGERS CROSSED, LAY A FINGER ON, LIFT A FINGER, PUT ONE’S FINGER ONalso LAY ONE’S FINGER ON, SLIP THROUGH ONE’S FINGERS, SNAP ONE’SFINGERS AT, STICKY FINGERS, TWIST AROUND ONE’S LITTLE FINGER, WORKONE’S FINGERS TO THE BONE....
2. Перевод слова fingersFingers — пальцы Перевод слова Dexterous fingers — ловкие пальцы to count on one’s fingers — считать на пальцах to snap one’s fingers — щелкать пальцами He snapped his Fingers. Он щелкнул пальцами. We ate with our Fingers. Мы ели руками. His Fingers turned to thumbs. Его пальцы одеревенели. Происхождение слова fingers Множественное число для ... Читать далее...
3. Some problemsA woman gives birth by a Caesarian and passes out. When she comes to her senses, the doctor approaches her bed and says: «I’m sorry to tell you, Mrs. Smith, that your baby has some serious problems.» «What problems, doctor? I mean, when it arrives, I’ll love it. It’s my child and I’ll love it ... Читать далее...
4. A wish for ChristmasIt is around christmas time and santa is sitting in the middle of the mall in his big holiday setup. He has a line of kids lined up to sit on his lap and tell him what they want for christmas. As the line dwindles down; a little 5 year old boy comes up and ... Читать далее...
5. A man comes to a doctor andA man comes to a doctor and, twitching his fingers and stuttering, finally manages to say, «Doctor, I have a sexual performance problem. Can you help me?» «Oh, that’s not a problem for us men anymore!» announces a proud physician, «They just came out with this new wonder drug, Viagra, that does the trick! You ... Читать далее...
6. Where are the fingers?Jon’s working at the lumberyard, pushing a tree through the buzz saw, and accidentally shears off all ten of his fingers. He goes to the emergency room. The doctor says, «Yuck! Well, give me the fingers, and I’ll see what I can do.» Jon says, «I haven’t got the fingers.» The doctor says, «What do ... Читать далее...
7. Having Skin ProblemsMother: Doctor, this is my son Danny. I brought him in so you could look at his Rash. Doctor: Okay, Danny. Have a seat on the Exam table. How long have you had the rash? Mother: My son has had that rash for about two weeks. It Started out as a Blister, and then it ... Читать далее...
8. PeanutsSitting at home one night with his wife, a man is casually tossing peanuts into the air and catching them in his mouth. As the couple take in the latest episode of their favorite program, the man loses concentration for a split second, and a peanut goes into his ear. He tries to get it ... Читать далее...
9. Перевод слова fingerFinger — палец (на руке); трогать, прикасаться Перевод слова Index finger — указательный палец middle finger — средний палец the ring finger — безымянный палец little finger — мизинец to finger through the cards — перебирать карты We ate with our Fingers. Мы ели руками. I shut my Finger in the door. Я прищемил дверью ... Читать далее...
10. This fellow was screwing his best friend’s wife when heThis fellow was screwing his best friend’s wife when he suddenly stopped and sat on the edge of the bed, holding his head in his hands. «What the hell is your problem?» the lady asked. «I feel like a regular son of a bitch, getting my best friends pussy,» the man moaned. The lady reached ... Читать далее...
11. A woman visits her physicianA woman visits her physician. After waiting for a while it’s finally her turn. She enters the doctors’ office and sits down. The PhD asks her: «Well, what can I do for you madam?». The patient blushes and the PhD sees that apparently she is embarrassed so he says: «You can discuss any matter with ... Читать далее...
12. Перевод слова cockCock — петух; драчун, заводила Перевод слова Fighting cock — бойцовый петух cock of the school — первый драчун в школе old cock — дружище, старина We sat till the second Cock. Мы сидели до вторых петухов. A Cock crowed in the distance. Вдалеке кукарекал петух. The Cock crowed as the sun began to rise. ... Читать далее...
13. Значение идиомы put one’s finger on[put one’s finger on] also [lay one’s finger on] {v. phr.} To findexactly. The engineers couldn’t put their fingers on the reason forthe rocket’s failure to orbit. We called in an electrician hopinghe could put a finger on the cause of the short circuit....
14. A dubious remedyA man was having problems with premature ejaculation so he decided to go to the doctor. He asked the doctor what he could do to cure his problem. In response, the doctor said, «When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate, try startling yourself.» That same day the man went to the store ... Читать далее...
15. A man goes to the doctor with a long history ofA man goes to the doctor with a long history of migraine headaches. When the doctor does his history and physical, he discovers that his poor patient has had practically every therapy known to man for his migraines and STILL no improvement. «Listen,» says the Doctor, «I have migraines, too and the advice I’m going ... Читать далее...
16. At the DoctorsAt the Doctor’s… — A young woman said to her doctor, «You have to help me, I hurt all over.» «What do you mean?» said the doctor. — The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, «Ow, that hurts.» — Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, «Ouch! That ... Читать далее...
17. Значение идиомы nose[nose] See: COUNT HEADS or COUNT NOSES, CUT OFF ONE’S NOSE TO SPITEONE’S FACE, FOLLOW ONE’S NOSE, GO INTO A TAIL SPIN or GO INTO A NOSEDIVE, HARD-NOSED, KEEP ONE’S NOSE CLEAN, KEEP ONE’S NOSE TO THEGRINDSTONE, LEAD BY THE NOSE, LOOK DOWN ONE’S NOSE AT, ON THE NOSE, PAY THROUGH THE NOSE, PUT ONE’S ... Читать далее...
18. A woman had some problems, so she went to her doctorA woman had some problems, so she went to her doctor of twenty years. They had the following conversation: Dr.: Take the red pill after breakfast with one glass of water. Woman: Ok. Dr: Take the blue pill after lunch with two glasses of water. Woman: Ok. Dr.: Take the yellow pill after dinner with ... Читать далее...
19. Thirty minutes before a plane landed, its cabin lights came onThirty minutes before a plane landed, its cabin lights came on, indicating to the flight attendants that breakfast could be served. One of the passengers, upset because he was awakened, growled, «Who turned on the fucking lights!» «Oh, no sir,» the nearest flight attendant replied. «Those are the breakfast lights. You slept through the ‘fucking ... Читать далее...
20. The first time I went to a drug store to buy condomsThe first time I went to a drug store to buy condoms, I was waited on by a beautiful young woman. She asked what size I wanted and I said I wasn’t sure. So she asked now big I was and I said, «Compared to what?» She held up one finger and asked if I ... Читать далее...
21. This man got his prescription for ViagraThis man got his prescription for Viagra, and goes home to get ready for when his wife gets home. He calls her on the phone, and says, «I’ll be home in an hour.» «Perfect,» she replies. The man thinks her agreement is because the Doctor told him to take his Viagra an hour before. He ... Читать далее...
22. The guide to wife translationsThe wife says: You want The wife means: You want The wife says: We need The wife means: I want The wife says: It’s your decision The wife means: The correct decision should be obvious The wife says: Do what you want The wife means: You’ll pay for this later The wife says: We need ... Читать далее...
23. The fucking lightsTith the sun beginning to rise, the cabin of the jetliner was suddenly illuminated. «Who turned on the fucking lights?» a male passenger, who had been surly since boarding, snarled at a stewardess. The girl had had enough of this particular character. «These are the breakfast lights, sir,» she answered with forced sweetness. «The fucking ... Читать далее...
24. After a couple of years a couple wanted to have childrenAfter a couple of years a couple wanted to have children, but nothing worked. So they went to a doctor, and got checked over. The doctor took time to reassure them. «Don’t worry,» he said, «Just take this sample bottle home and do the necessary, and bring it back tomorrow.» So he went home feeling ... Читать далее...
25. A henpecked husbandA henpecked husband was advised by a psychiatrist to assert himself. «You don’t have to let your wife bully you,» he said. «Go home and show her you’re the boss.» The husband decided to take the doctor’s advice. He went home, slammed the door, shook his fist in his wife’s face, and growled, «From now ... Читать далее...
26. A man walks into a doctor officeA man walks into a doctor’s office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear. «What’s the matter with me?» he asks the doctor. The doctor replies, «You’re not eating properly.»...
27. Burning problems of modern cities — Проблемы в современных городахAlmost half of the world population live in unban areas and, as cities grow even larger, conditions for city dwellers are likely to get worse. Two of the most critical problems are environmental problems and crime. Most cities faced environmental problems at the end of the 20th century, which were caused by a rapid growth ... Читать далее...
28. A husband and wife are on a nudist beachA husband and wife are on a nudist beach when suddenly a wasp buzzes into the wife’s business end. Naturally enough, she panics. The husband is also quite shaken but manages to put a coat on her, pull up his shorts and carries her to the car. Then he makes a mad dash to the ... Читать далее...
29. Значение идиомы go off half-cocked[go off half-cocked] also [go off at half cock] {v. phr.},{informal} To act or speak before getting ready; to do something toosoon. Bill often goes off half cocked. Mr. Jones was thinkingabout quilting his job, but his wife told him not to go at half cock....
30. Appearance: The Arms and Hands — Внешность: рукиThe arms and hands of our prehistoric ancestors were probably not very different from the human arm and hand today. The upper and lower joints of the arm, elbow and wrist, were probably very similar, and the basic structure of the hand with its five fingers was also the same. But according to some scientists, ... Читать далее...
31. One day Pete was complaining to his friendOne day Pete was complaining to his friend «my elbow hurts. I better see a doctor». His friend said «Don’t do that. There’s a computer in the drug store that can diagnose anything. It’s quicker and cheaper than visiting a doctor. Simply put a urine sample in the machine and it will diagnose your problem ... Читать далее...
32. Don’t Forget!An 80-year-old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them. When they arrived at the doctor’s, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory. After checking the couple out, the doctor ... Читать далее...
33. Youth ProblemsВ топике Проблемы молодежи рассматриваются проблемы подростков. Чаще всего преступления совершают дети из малообеспеченных и неблагополучных семей, и многие подростки, страдающие от наркотической или алкогольной зависимости, просто этого не понимают. Иногда подростки не справляются сами со своими проблемами, впадают в депрессию и кончают жизнь самоубийством. Общество должно проявить заботу и понимание подобных проблем подрастающего поколения. ... Читать далее...
34. Перевод слова noseNose — нос, чутье, нюх Перевод слова A dog with a good nose — собака с хорошим чутьем to have a nose for news — умение выведать все, что случилось to blow one’s nose — сморкаться nose drops — капли от насморка His Nose is very long. У него очень длинный нос. He scrunched his ... Читать далее...
35. A man goes to the doctorA man goes to the doctor and says, «Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts.» The doctor asks, «What do you mean?» The man says, «When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee — OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts.» The doctor says, «I know what’s wrong ... Читать далее...
36. Proffessional AcquantanceA well respected Doctor and his wife were having drinks in the lobby of the theater during the opening nite of a musical during intermission. A blonde shimmied by that had to have had what there was of her evening gown spray painted on her curvy body. She smiled and gushed, «Well, hello there Doc.» ... Читать далее...
37. An old man and his wife went to the doctor for a check-upAn old man and his wife went to the doctor for a check-up. While the man is with the doctor, the doctor askes him, «So how has life been treating you?» The old man replies,»The Lord’s been good to me. Every night when I go to the bathroom, He turns the light on and when ... Читать далее...
38. Ed and Ted met for the first time in twenty yearsEd and Ted met for the first time in twenty years. «So, how’s life been for you?» Ed asked. «Not too good,» Ted replied. «My first wife died of cancer, my second wife turned out to be a lesbian and ran off with another woman and took all our savings, my son’s in prison for ... Читать далее...
39. Perfectly healthy«Doctor,» the embarrassed man said, «I have a sexual problem. I can’t get it up for my wife anymore. «Mr. Thomas, bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what I can do.» The next day, the worried fellow returned with his wife. «Take off your clothes, Mrs. Thomas,» the medic said. «Now ... Читать далее...
40. No symptomsDoctor, the embarrassed man said, «I have a sexual problem. I can’t get it up for my wife anymore. «Mr. Thomas, bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what I can do.» The next day the worried fellow returned with his wife. «Take off your clothes, Mrs. Thomas,» the medic said. «Now ... Читать далее...