This guy unexpectedly got the day off and decided

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1. Перевод сленгового выражения the shit hits the fan, значение и пример использования Сленговое выражение: the shit hits the fan Сленговое выражение: the shit hits the fan груб. Перевод: разразится большой скандал; дело примет плохой оборот; запахнет жареным Пример: It was a good party until Ed started a fight. Then the shit hit the fan! Вечеринка была хорошей, пока Эд не начал драку. Тогда все понеслось! If Dad […]...
2. Heavenly golf Moses, Jesus and an old man are golfing. Moses steps up to the tee and hits the ball. It goes sailing over the fairway and lands in the water trap. Moses parts the water and chips the ball onto the green. Jesus steps up to the tee and hits the ball. It goes sailing over […]...
3. A husband and wife were out playing golf A husband and wife were out playing golf. They tee off and one drive goes to the right and one drive goes to the left. The wife finds her ball in a patch of buttercups. She grabs a club and takes a mighty swing at the ball. She hits a beautiful second shot, but in […]...
4. Значение идиомы play ball [play ball] {v. phr.} 1. To begin play in a ball game. When theumpire calls “Play ball,” the game begins. 2. {informal} To join inan effort with others; cooperate. To get along during Prohibition, many men felt that they had to play ball with gangsters. A isoften good business to play ball with a political […]...
5. A golfer hit his drive on the first hole A golfer hit his drive on the first hole 300 yards right down the middle. When it came down, however, it hit a sprinkler and the ball went sideways into the woods. He was angry, but he went into the woods and hit a very hard 2 iron which hit a tree and bounced back […]...
6. Golf with older man A young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He figured if he hurried and played very fast, he could get in nine holes before he had to head home. Just as he was about to tee off an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee […]...
7. The strength of youth A young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He figured if he hurried and played very fast, he could get in 9 holes before he had to head home. Just as he was about to tee off an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee […]...
8. Perfectly good eyesight Two really old guys decided they would go out and try to play a round of golf together. They get on the first tee and the first old guy says to the second, “My eyesight isn’t what it used to be. Can you watch my ball for me?”. The second guy says, “Sure! I see […]...
9. Two nuns are walking down an alley Two nuns are walking down an alley when two guys jump out of the dark. They start raping the nuns and the first nun says, “Forgive them, Father, for they know not what they do!” The second one says, “This one does!”...
10. The seven dwarves were in Rome The three dwarves were in rome and went to the nearest nunnery. They got to talk to the mother superior. “Excuse us, but can you tell us where the dwarf nuns are?” “Sorry”, she replies, “but there are no dwarf nuns here”. “Well, are there any in the city?”. “No, there are no dwarf nuns”. […]...
11. Two nuns turn up at the fruit market and ask the veggie man Two nuns turn up at the fruit market and ask the veggie man for 120 cucumbers. The guy advises: “Sisters, if you buy 3 crates, that’s 150, you’ll get a 25% discount!” The nuns look at each other, and after a prolonged period of thinking one whispers to the other: “We could eat the 30, […]...
12. An old sailing ship is becalmed at sea An old sailing ship is becalmed at sea with a full complement of sailors. They are stuck there for days and days with nothing to do. One morning the captain decides he is going to lay on some entertainment for the men. He orders a barrel to be placed on the top deck. It has […]...
13. Nuns First Hot Dog Nuns First Hot Dog Two Scottish nuns have just arrived in the USA by boat and one says to the other, “I hear that the occupants of this country actually eat dogs.” “Odd,” her companion replies, “but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do.” Nodding emphatically, the […]...
14. Значение идиомы ball [ball] See: BASE ON BALLS, CARRY THE BALL, FLY BALL, FOUL BALL, GET THE BALL ROLLING, SET THE BALL ROLLING, START THE BALL ROLLING, GOPHER BALL, GROUND BALL, HAVE A HALL, HAVE SOMETHING ON THE BALL, JUMP BALL, KEEP THE BALL ROLLING, LONG BALL, ON THE BALL, PASSED BALL, PLAYBALL....
15. When the old golfer died, Peter met him at the gates of heaven When the old golfer died, Peter met him at the gates of heaven. “Sorry, old man,” Peter said, “But I can’t let you in. You see the big book here says you committed one unpardonable sin back in 1978 – You took the Lord’s name in vain during a golf game.” “Oh, yes. I’ll never […]...
16. Two nuns were driving alone out in the boonies Two nuns were driving alone out in the boonies. They ran out of gas. Fortunately they could walk to a gas station not far away, where they asked to purchase a can of gasoline. “I’m sorry, sister,” said the attendant, “but all I have for you to carry it in is an old chamber pot. […]...
17. Warning labels If government is going to put health warning labels on beer, wine and liquor, let’s at least have a little truthfulness about the matter! WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with breath that could knock a buzzard off a shit truck at 100 yards. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major […]...
18. A wife comes home unexpectedly one day and finds her husband A wife comes home unexpectedly one day and finds her husband in bed with a lady midget. Upset and furious over his actions, the woman screams, “You promised me two weeks ago that you would never cheat on me again!” Trying his best to calm her down, the husband turns to his wife and says, […]...
19. Three nuns went to a cucumber stand in an open market Three nuns went to a cucumber stand in an open market one day. They asked how much the cucumbers were. The merchant said that they were 4 for a dollar. The nuns said okay. The puzzled merchant asked why they needed four cucumbers when there were only three of them. A nun answered back, “Well, […]...
20. Значение идиомы hell [hell] See: COME HELL OR HIGH WATER, GO THROUGH HELL AND HIGHWATER, HELL-ON-WHEELS, LIKE HELL, TO HELL WITH, UNTIL HELL FREEZESOVER, WHEN HELL FREEZES OVER....
21. Little Johnny tried out for the school play Little Johnny tried out for the school play. The teacher gave him these lines to practice: “Hark! A pistol shot! There lies a lady with hope in her soul. I think I’ll snatch a kiss and run into the forest. By William Shakespeare.” Little Johnny practiced and practiced and did the lines perfectly every time. […]...
22. Значение идиомы jump ball [jump ball] {n.} The starting of play in basketball by tossing theball into the air between two opposing players, each of whom jumps andtries to hit the ball to a member of his own team. Two players heldonto the ball at the same time and the referee called a jump ball....
23. Значение идиомы That’s the way the ball bounces [That’s the way the ball bounces] or [the cookie crumbles!] Nothingunusual about that. – Said of unpleasant things. “Susan left me fora heavyweight boxer, and then I got drunk and wrecked my car,” Bobbitterly complained. “Well, that’s the way the cookie crumbles,” Pamanswered philosophically....
24. The three wise men are out for a stroll when The three wise men are out for a stroll when they come across a stable. The three of them decide to duck inside. On the way in one of the wise men hits his head on the low entranceway. “Jesus Christ!” he says. Joseph says, “Quick, Mary, write that down! It’s a hell of a […]...
25. Capitalist and Socialist Hell A young, ruthless executive died and went to hell. When he got there, he saw one sign that said Capitalist Hell, and another that said Socialist Hell. In front of the Socialist Hell was an incredibly long line, while there was no-one in front of the Capitalist Hell. So the executive asked the guard, “What […]...
26. Confuse traffic signs A cop pulls over a carload of nuns. Cop: “Sister, this is a 65 MPH highway – why are you going so slow?” Sister: “Sir, I saw a lot of signs that said 22, not 65.” Cop: “Oh sister, that’s not the speed limit, that’s the name of the highway you’re on! Sister: Oh! Silly […]...
27. One night, at the lodge of a hunting club One night, at the lodge of a hunting club, two new members were being introduced to other members and shown around. The man leading them around said, “See that old man asleep in the chair by the fire – place? He is our oldest member and can tell you some hunting stories you’ll never forget.” […]...
28. Перевод сленгового выражения luck of the draw, значение и пример использования Сленговое выражение: luck of the draw Перевод: по воле случая или судьбы Синоним: that’s the way the ball bounces Пример: Everyone else’s computer works just fine, but mine is broken. I guess that’s the luck of the draw. У всех остальных с компьютерами все в порядке, но мой не работает. Видимо, мне просто не повезло....
29. Detective report A man suspected his wife of seeing another man. So, he hired a famous Chinese detective, Ram Pam Sim Wimm, to watch and report any activities that might develop. A few days later, he received this report: Most honorable sir: You leave house. He come house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. […]...
30. Перевод слова hell Hell – ад, преисподня; черт (ругательство) Перевод слова To make smb.’s life a hell – превратить чью-л. жизнь в ад to suffer through hell – переносить муки ада oh hell! – черт возьми! hell of a way – чертовски далеко Who the Hell are you? Кто ты такой, черт побери? To Hell with the flaming […]...
31. Значение идиомы a hell of [a hell of] a [or one hell of a] {adj. or adv. phr.}, {informal} Extraordinary; very. He made a hell of a shot during the basketball game. Max said seven months was a hell of a time to have to wait for a simple visa. The fall Max took left one hell of a bruise […]...
32. Значение идиомы free ball [free ball] {n.} A ball in football that is in play, that is not inthe possession of anyone, that is not a legally thrown forward pass, and that belongs to the first team which can grab it. A Notre Dameplayer fell on a free ball and recovered it for his team....
33. Перевод идиомы play ball (with someone), значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: play ball (with someone) Перевод: сотрудничать, выполнять что-либо совместно (с кем-либо), выполнить что-либо совместными усилиями Пример: If you play ball with the new manager things should go well for you. Если ты будешь сотрудничать с новым менеджером, дела у тебя пойдут хорошо....
34. The approach of winter Dec. 8 5:00 p. m. – It’s starting to snow, the first of the season, and the wife and I took our buttered rum and sat by the window watching the soft flakes drift down, clinging to the trees and covering the ground. It was so beautiful. Dec. 9 – We awoke to a big […]...
35. You really do stink It was a particularly tough football game, and nerves were on edge. The home team had been the victim of three or four close calls, and they were now trailing the visitors by a touch-down and a field goal. When the official called yet another close one in the visitors’ favor, the home quarterback blew […]...
36. A game of Animal Football The animals were bored. Finally, the lion had an idea. “I know a really exciting game that the humans play called football. I’ve seen it on T. V.” He proceeded to describe it to the rest of the animals and they all got excited about it so they decided to play. They went out to […]...
37. Three mice are sitting in a bar talking Three mice are sitting in a bar talking about how tough they are. The first mouse slams down a shot and says, “I play with mouse traps for fun. I’ll run into one on purpose and as it’s closing on me, I grab the bar and bench press it twenty or thirty times.” And with […]...
38. Show him your cross Two nuns, Sister Mary Agnes and Sister Mary Vincent, are traveling through Europe in their car, sightseeing in Transylvania. As they are stopped at a traffic light, out of nowhere, a small vampire jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses at them through the windshield. “Quick, quick!” shouts Sister Mary Agnes, “What should […]...
39. Nature of Hell A thermodynamics professor had written a take home exam for his graduate students. It had one question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Support your answer with a proof.” Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when […]...
40. Перевод слова twenty Twenty – двадцать Перевод слова Twenty caissons of ammunition – двадцать ящиков с боеприпасами twenty head of cattle – двадцать голов рогатого скота he is twenty – ему двадцать лет I’ve known her for Twenty years. Я знаю ее двадцать лет. Step off Twenty paces. Отсчитай двадцать шагов. He hit me for Twenty dollars. Он […]...