There were three men who were lost in the forest

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1. Перевод слова forest Forest – лес Перевод слова Pine forest – сосновый бор oak forest – дубрава a forest of hands shot up – поднялся лес рук The Forest stretches for miles. Лес тянется на много миль. They dwelt in the Forest. Они обитали в лесу. The scenery showed a Forest. Декорации создавали атмосферу леса....
2. A young kid’s in a shipwreck and he winds up stranded A young kid’s in a shipwreck and he winds up stranded on a tropical island. For twenty years he never sees another human being. Then one day a beautiful girl with long blond hair, her clothes half-ripped off, washes up on a piece of driftwood. He explains to her how he existed for twenty years, […]...
3. Entering into Heaven A man arrives at the gates of heaven. St. Peter asks, “Religion?” The man says, “Methodist.” St. Peter looks down his list, and says, “Go to room 24, but be very quiet as you pass room 8.” Another man arrives at the gates of heaven. “Religion?” “Baptist.” “Go to room 18, but be very quiet […]...
4. Why Jim Smith Lost His First Love Jim Smith wished to buy a present for his first sweetheart, and after careful consideration he decided on a pair of gloves. Accompanied by his sweetheart’s sister, he went to a department store and bought a pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a pair of panties for herself. During the wrapping, the items got […]...
5. One day a man was walking in the woods when he got lost One day a man was walking in the woods when he got lost. For two days he roamed around trying to find a way out. He had not eaten anything during this period and was famished. Over on a rock ledge he spotted a bald eagle, killed it, and started to eat it. Surprisingly a […]...
6. Значение идиомы on trial [on trial] {adv.} or {adj. phr.} 1. For testing or trying out for atime before making a decision. I was lucky that I had bought themachine on trial because I didn’t like it and was able to return it. Mother bought a new dishwasher on trial and was trying it outbefore deciding whether to keep […]...
7. Перевод слова trial Trial – испытание, проба, пробный; суд Перевод слова A blind clinical trial – клиническое испытание trial run – испытательный пробег trial period – испытательный срок state trial – суд над государственным преступником Her Trial will be public. Судебное разбирательство по ее делу будет открытым. He was on Trial for murder. Его судили за убийство. I […]...
8. Bying a horse This guy owns a horse stud farm, and gets a call from a friend “I know this midget with a speech impediment who wants to buy a horse, I’m sending him over.” The midget arrives, and the owner asks if he wants a male or female horse. “A female horth,” the midget replies. So the […]...
9. Перевод слова heaven Heaven – небеса, небо; царство небесное, рай Перевод слова The broad expanse of heaven – широкий свод небес a map of the heavens – карта звездного неба the kingdom of heaven – царство небесное The windows of Heaven opened. Разверзлись хляби небесные. Earth’s loveliness or Heaven’s sublimity. Красота земли или величавость небес. I would move […]...
10. Значение идиомы trial and error [trial and error] {n.} A way of solving problems by tryingdifferent possible solutions until you find one that works. Johnfound the short circuit by trial and error. The only way Tom couldsolve the algebra problem was by the method of trial and error....
11. Значение идиомы show one’s colors [show one’s colors] {v. phr.} 1. To show what you are really like. We thought Toby was timid, but he showed his colors when he rescuedthe ponies from the burning barn. 2. To make known what you think orplan to do. Mr. Ryder is afraid that he will lose the election ifhe shows his colors […]...
12. Значение идиомы trial balloon [trial balloon] {n.} A hint about a plan of action that is givenout to find out what people will say. John mentioned the classpresidency to Bill as a trial balloon to see if Bill might beinterested in running. The editorial was a trial balloon to testthe public’s reaction to a change in the school day....
13. It finally happened A man died and went to Heaven. After reaching the gates to Heaven the man was talking with Saint Peter and he asked, “I know I was good during my life, and I really appreciate being brought to Heaven, but I’m really curious… What does Hell look like?” So Saint Peter thought about it a […]...
14. Lost In The Snow A blonde got lost in her car in a snow storm. She remembered what her dad had once told her. “If you ever get stuck in a snow storm, wait for a snow plow and follow it.” Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for […]...
15. Three guys are in a plane, lost in fog Three guys are in a plane, lost in fog, and they don’t know where they are. The first guy says “I’ll find out” and puts his arm out the plane, then brings it back in and says “We’re just over Paris” “How do you know” ask the others “Well I’ve just felt the top of […]...
16. Fidel dies and goes to heaven Fidel dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, St. Peter tells him that he is not on the list and that no way, no how, does he belong in heaven. Fidel must go to hell. So Fidel goes to hell where Satan gives him a hearty welcome and tells him to make himself […]...
17. Lost all my luggage McAteer arrived at J. F. K. Airport and wandered about the terminal with tears streaming down his cheeks. An airline employee asked him if he was already homesick. “No,” replied McAteer. “I’ve lost all me luggage!” “How’d that happen?” “The cork fell out,” said the Irishman....
18. A lost skill This preacher was looking for a good used lawnmower one day. He found one at a yard sale that Little Johnny happened to be manning. “This mower work, son?” the preacher asked. Little Johnny said, “Sure does – just pull on the cord hard, though.” The preacher took the mower home and when he got […]...
19. Lost in a balloon Two hobbyists get into their balloon for an excursion. After a while, the wind unexpectedly picks up, and the balloon goes out of control. The two balloonists, with great effort, manage to keep the balloon stable, upright, and away from power lines. But they are lost. With more effort, they get the balloon near the […]...
20. A blonde got lost in her car in a snow storm A blonde got lost in her car in a snow storm. She remembered what her dad had once told her. “If you ever get stuck in a snow storm, wait for a snow plow and follow it”. Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for […]...
21. Sadie lost her husband almost four years ago and still Sadie lost her husband almost four years ago and still has not gotten out of her depression, mourning as if it were only yesterday. Her daughter constantly is calling her and urging her to get back into the world. Finally, Sadie says she’d go out, but didn’t know anyone. Her daughter immediately replies, “Mama! I […]...
22. A small boy was lost at a large shopping mall A small boy was lost at a large shopping mall. He approached a uniformed policeman and said, “I’ve lost my dad!” The cop asked, “What’s he like?” The little boy replied, “Beer and women with big tits.”...
23. Policemen in Heaven St Peter is standing at heaven’s gate when a man walks up. “Welcome to heaven my son. What did you do with your life?” “I was a policeman,” he responded. “What kind of policeman?” St Peter asked. “I was a vice officer. I kept dangerous narcotics out of the hands of kids.” “Wonderful my son, […]...
24. Could be here sooner An elderly couple were killed in an accident and found themselves being given a tour of heaven by Saint Peter. “Here is your oceanside condo, over there are the tennis courts, swimming pool, and two golf courses. If you need any refreshments, just stop by any of the many bars located throughout the area.” “Heck, […]...
25. A pedophile dies in a car crash and goes to heaven A pedophile dies in a car crash and goes to heaven. He’s stopped at the pearly gates by St. Peter, who is really miffed: “You swine. How can you have the audacity to try and enter heaven after you have lead such a perverted, ungodly life. Do you think you have a snowballs chance in […]...
26. Christmas flavor Three men die in a car accident on Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the Pearly Gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering, they are told that they must present something with a flavor in order to get in. The first man searches his pocket, and finds some pine needles from the family’s Christmas […]...
27. Перевод слова king King – король Перевод слова The King of England – английский король king of beasts – царь зверей, лев king-size cigarette – очень длинная сигарета The King wills it. Такова воля короля. Long live the King! Да здравствует Король! The King is in check. Королю объявлен шах. Интересные факты “Король Лев” (The Lion King) – […]...
28. Значение идиомы cop a plea [cop a plea] {v. phr.}, {slang}, {colloquial} To plead guilty during a trial in the hope of getting a lighter sentence as a result. The murderer of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., copped a plea of guilty, and got away with a life sentence instead of the death penalty....
29. Two missionaries in Africa get apprehended by a tribe Two missionaries in Africa get apprehended by a tribe of very hostile cannibals who put them in a large pot of water, build a huge fire under it, and leave them there. A few minutes later, one of the missionaries starts to laugh uncontrollably. The other missionary can’t believe it! He says, “What’s wrong with […]...
30. Irish Religion Humor Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, “Do you want to go to heaven?” The man said, “I do Father.” The priest said, “Then stand over there against the wall.” Then the priest asked the second man, “Do you want to got to heaven?” “Certainly, Father,” […]...
31. Spain Jokes Spanish dining An American tourist goes into a restaurant in Spain and orders the specialty of the house. When his dinner arrives, he asks the waiter what it is. “These, senor,” replied the waiter in broken English, “are the arms of the bull killed in the ring today.” The tourist swallowed hard but tasted the […]...
32. The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it. The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They […]...
33. Try to catch the rabbit The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it. The CIA goes in. They place animal informants […]...
34. Moshe Rabbinowitz decides to join the country club Moshe Rabbinowitz decides to join the country club near his home. He goes in and is turned down flat because he does not meet their “standards.” So he enrolls in the finest schools to learn the art of being culturally rich. Moshe learns to cook the finest of foods, appreciate the best art, drive the […]...
35. Lost and Found Airport employee: Hello, Portland Airport, Lost and Found. Lucas: Hello. I was a passenger on a SunCal Airlines flight yesterday and I think I left my keys on the plane. Airport employee: I see. To Claim the item, you have to fill out a Claim form. What did you lose again? Some Luggage? You’ll need […]...
36. Watching Daytime Talk Shows Sally: Why are wasting your time on your Day off watching these Daytime talk shows? Jerry: I think they’re entertaining. Sally: You’ve got to be kidding. The only people who are Booked as guests on those shows are Losers or Exhibitionists who want Attention. Jerry: No, they’re not. These shows are all about Human drama […]...
37. Значение идиомы kill off [kill off] {v.} To kill or end completely; destroy. The factorydumped poisonous wastes into the river and killed off the fish. The president suggested a new law to Congress but many members ofCongress were against the idea and they killed it off. Mother madeNancy practice her dancing an hour every day; Nancy got tired ofdancing […]...
38. Without a Christmas bonus Ten signs you’re not getting a christmas bonus 10. Co-workers refer to you as “the ghost of unemployment future” 9. The last time you saw your boss was when he testified against you at the embezzlement trial 8. On your door, you find a lovely wreath of pink slips 7. What you call “my new […]...
39. Baseball in Heaven Two buddies Bob and Earl were two of the biggest baseball fans in America. Their entire adult lives, Bob and Earl discussed baseball history in the winter, and they pored over every box score during the season. They went to 60 games a year. They even agreed that whoever died first would try to come […]...
40. A nun comes to her Mother Superior and asks her A nun comes to her Mother Superior and asks her to hear a confession: “Today I enjoyed the pleasures of the flesh. Father Goodwim came to me and told me that I had the gates to Heaven here between my legs. Then he said that he had the key to Heaven, and he put it […]...