There was a young man in the Air Force

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1. A young lady walks into a doctors officeA young lady walks into a doctors office. «Doctor I’m suffering from a terrible discharge» The Doctor lays her down lifts up her dress and has a good probe around and says «how does that feel?» Young lady, «Oooh doctor that feels lovely….. …but the discharge is from my ear!!»...
2. Three nurses all decided to play a joke on the doctorThree nurses all decided to play a joke on the doctor they worked for. Later in the day, they all got together on break and discussed what they had done to the doctor. The first nurse said, «I put cotton in his stethoscope so he couldn’t hear. The second nurse said, «Well, I did worse ... Читать далее...
3. Перевод слова forceForce — сила, мощь; заставлять, принуждать Перевод слова With all one’s force — изо всех сил the force of circumstances — сила обстоятельств to force a confession — вынудить признание to force an entry — ворваться, вломиться Peace cannot be imposed by Force. Мир не может быть навязан силой. In both these two reasons there ... Читать далее...
4. A young married couple has difficulties conceiving a babyA young married couple has difficulties conceiving a baby, so after a while the wife consults her doctor, who recommends the minor of three possible operations. The operation is performed, but a month later, she’s still not pregnant, so she goes to see the doctor again. This time he recommends the medium operation, a somewhat ... Читать далее...
5. A young mother paying a visit to a doctorA young mother paying a visit to a doctor friend and his wife made no attempt to restrain her five-year-old son, who was ransacking an adjoining room. But finally, an extra loud clatter of bottles did prompt her to say, «I hope, doctor, you don’t mind Johnny being in there.» «No,» said the doctor calmly, ... Читать далее...
6. Перевод слова air forceAir force — воздушные войска Перевод слова Air force one — президентский самолет air force unit — авиачасть air force base — авиационная база ВВС offensive air force — наступательные силы и средства ВВС military air forces — военно-воздушные силы; военная авиация; ВВС Происхождение слова air force Оба слова фразы имеют самостоятельное значение:...
7. A young girl had not been feeling wellA young girl had not been feeling well and went to her family doctor. «Young lady,» the doctor began, «you’re pregnant.» «But that can’t be. The only men I’ve been with are nudists and in, our colony we practice sex only with our eyes.» «Well my dear,» said the doctor, «someone in that colony is ... Читать далее...
8. Значение идиомы in force[in force] {adj. phr.} 1. To be obeyed. New times for eatingmeals are now in force. Syn.: IN EFFECT. 2. In a large group. People went to see the parade in force. Syn.: EN MASSE....
9. An attractive young girl, chaperoned by an ugly old ladyAn attractive young girl, chaperoned by an ugly old lady, entered the doctor’s office. «We have come for an examination,» said the young girl. «Alright,» said the doctor. «Go behind that curtain and take your clothes off.» «No, not me,» said the girl. «it’s my old aunt here.» «Very well,» said the doctor. «Madam, stick ... Читать далее...
10. A young woman visited her doctor complaining of a bed wetting problemA young woman visited her doctor complaining of a bed wetting problem. The doctor asked her the usual questions and then asked her to go behind the screen and remove her clothes. She was a bit shocked but went ahead anyway. When she was undressed he asked her to stand on her hands in front ... Читать далее...
11. A pregnant woman is about to give birthA pregnant woman is about to give birth. The doctor has her on the delivery table, legs up in the stirrups. Suddenly, he sees the top of a head push through. Then the baby pops its head out and says to the doctor, «Are you my dad?». The doctor says, «No, I am your doctor!». ... Читать далее...
12. I often feel guiltySheri, the pert and pretty nurse took her troubles to a resident psychiatrist in the hospital where she worked. «Doctor, you must help me,» she pleaded. «It’s gotten so that every time I date one of the young doctors here, I end up dating him. And then afterward, I feel guilty and depressed for a ... Читать далее...
13. Значение идиомы force play[force play] or [force-out] {n.} A play in baseball in which arunner is out because he does not run to the next base before thefielder with the ball touches the base. Bob was out at second basewhen Joe hit into a force play....
14. Значение идиомы out in force[out in force] {adv. phr.} Present in very large numbers; en masse. On the Fourth of July the police cars are out in force in theChicago area....
15. Перевод слова remedyRemedy — лекарство, средство, мера Перевод слова Remedy for pollution — средство борьбы с загрязнением household remedy — домашнее средство remedy against poison — противоядие Building more roads isn’t always the best Remedy for traffic congestion. Строительство новых дорог не всегда является лучшей мерой борьбы с автомобильными пробками. Everyone swears by her Remedy for a ... Читать далее...
16. Значение идиомы force one’s hand[force one’s hand] {v. phr.} To make you do something or tell whatyou will do sooner than planned. Ben did not want to tell where hewas going, but his friend forced his hand. Mr. Smith planned tokeep his land until prices went up, but he had so many doctor billsthat it forced his hand....
17. A dyslexic nurseTwo doctors were in a hospital hallway one day complaining about Nurse Jenny. «She’s incredibly dumb. She does everything absolutely backwards.» said one doctor. «Just last week, I told her to give a patient 2 milligrams of percocet every 10 hours. She gave him 10 milligrams every 2 hours. He nearly died on us!» The ... Читать далее...
18. Перевод сленгового выражения hunk, значение и пример использованияСленговое выражение: hunk Сленговое выражение: hunk груб. Перевод: красивый мужчина, «самец» Пример: Sue thinks that Tom Cruise is a hunk. Сью считает, что Том Круз просто красавец....
19. The young lady entered the doctor’s office carrying an infantThe young lady entered the doctor’s office carrying an infant. «Doctor,» she explained, «the baby seems to be ailing. Instead of gaining weight, he lost three ounces this week.» The medic examined the child and then started to squeeze the girl’s breasts. He then unbuttoned her blouse, removed the bra and began powerfully sucking on ... Читать далее...
20. This young lady, a flighty young thingThis young lady, a flighty young thing, got a job cleaning the bank windows in the evening after the bank closed for business. Anyway, she was up this ladder, cleaning good and proper and as she was in the habit of wearing no knickers, every young man who would come along would stop and stare ... Читать далее...
21. Перевод слова kneeKnee — колено Перевод слова Knee bend — коленный сгиб to form a knee — сгибаться под углом knee guard — наколенник trick knee — поврежденное колено I fell down and hurt my Knee. Я упал и повредил колено. Daddy, can I sit on your Knee? Папа, могу я посидеть у тебя на коленях? I ... Читать далее...
22. A young lady had just visited her doctorA young lady had just visited her doctor and he informed her that she was pregnant. The young lady had been married for ten years and had wanted a baby very badly. As she sat on the bus, on her way home, she felt that she had to share the good news with someone. The ... Читать далее...
23. At the DoctorsAt the Doctor’s… — A young woman said to her doctor, «You have to help me, I hurt all over.» «What do you mean?» said the doctor. — The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, «Ow, that hurts.» — Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, «Ouch! That ... Читать далее...
24. A young wife, her boorish husband and a young good lookingA young wife, her boorish husband and a young good looking sailor were shipwrecked on an island. One morning, the sailor climbed a tall coconut tree and yelled, «Stop making love down there!» «What’s the matter with you?» the husband said when the sailor climbed down. «We weren’t making love.» «Sorry,» said the sailor, «From ... Читать далее...
25. Sheep Dog BraThe success of the «Wonder Bra» for under-endowed women, has encouraged the designers to come out with a bra for over-endowed women. It’s called the «Sheep Dog Bra»… It rounds them up and points them in the right direction....
26. A very homely young woman made an appointment with a psychiatristA very homely young woman made an appointment with a psychiatrist. She walked into his office and said, «Doctor, I’m so depressed and lonely. I don’t have any friends, no man will come near me, and everybody laughs at me. Can you help me accept my ugliness?» «I’m sure I can,» the psychiatrist replied. «Just ... Читать далее...
27. Перевод слова youngYoung — молодой, юный Перевод слова Robust young man — здоровый крепкий юноша young fellow — молодой человек young idea — свежая идея A Young cat is a kitten. Маленькую кошку называют котенком. He looks Young for his age. Он выглядит молодо для своего возраста. The lioness fought to protect her Young. Львица дралась, чтобы ... Читать далее...
28. Значение идиомы knee-high to a grasshopper[knee-high to a grasshopper] also [knee-high to a duck] {adj. phr.}, {informal} As tall as a very small child; very young. Charles started reading when he was knee-high to a grasshopper. I’ve known Mary ever since she was knee-high to a duck....
29. An elderly patient needed a heart transplantAn elderly patient needed a heart transplant and discussed his options with his doctor. The doctor said, «We have 3 possible donors; the 1st is a young, healthy athlete who died in an automobile accident, the 2nd is a middle-aged businessman who never drank or smoked and who died flying his private jet. The 3rd ... Читать далее...
30. The young couple was engaged in a most affectionateThe young couple was engaged in a most affectionate embrace when there came the sound of a key in the front door. The young lady broke away at once, eyes wide with alarm. «Heavens,» she cried, «it’s my husband! Quick, jump out the window.» The young man, equally alarmed, made a quick step toward the ... Читать далее...
31. A beautiful young girl is about to undergo a minor surgeryA beautiful young girl is about to undergo a minor operation. She’s laid on a trolley bed by a lady in a white dress and brought to the corridor. Before they enter the room she leaves her behind the theatre door to go in and check whether everything is ready. A young man wearing a ... Читать далее...
32. Studly young Romeo and his dimwitted college sidekickStudly young Romeo and his dimwitted college sidekick are perched near the front door of the girls’ dorm. Several plain Janes walk by as the two converse. Then a Sharon Stone look-alike emerges from the dorm and saunters past. Romeo turns, smiles, and — barely audibly — inquires, «Tickle your ass with a feather?» The ... Читать далее...
33. Once when Mary was young her schoolOnce when Mary was young her school had a halloween party for them mary decided to go as a pirate after she had donned her costume she went into the family room to show her family they were impressed. Mom said you look terrific mary you have your sabre, and your parrot on your shoulder, ... Читать далее...
34. An old man of 70 married a young girl of 18An old man of 70 married a young girl of 18. When they got into bed the night after the wedding, he held up three fingers. «Oh honey», said the young nymph, «Does that mean we’re going to do it three times?» «No», said the old man, «It means you can take your pick.»...
35. A young man was staying on a farm with his uncle and auntA young man was staying on a farm with his uncle and aunt for the summer. One morning the aunt and uncle walked in the kitchen and the young man was drinking an extremely large glass of milk. The young man said «I took the liberty of milking your cow this morning!» He then continues ... Читать далее...
36. The Young Mans Big MouthThe Young Man’s Big Mouth A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants. «Well,» he said, «I’ve been seeing this girl for a while and she’s really hot. I want the condoms ... Читать далее...
37. Recruiting any and all pilotsThe chief of staff of the US Air Force decided that he would personally intervene in the recruiting crisis affecting all of our armed services. He directed a nearby Air Force base that will be opened and that all eligible young men and women be invited. As he and his staff were standing near a ... Читать далее...
38. There once was a young Irish woman who went to confessionThere once was a young Irish woman who went to confession. Upon entering the confessional she said, «Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.» The priest said, «Confess your sins and be forgiven.» The young woman said, «Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me seven times.» The priest thought long and hard ... Читать далее...
39. A man goes to the doctorA man goes to the doctor and says, «Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts.» The doctor asks, «What do you mean?» The man says, «When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee — OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts.» The doctor says, «I know what’s wrong ... Читать далее...
40. Перевод слова nurseNurse — медсестра, нянька, сиделка; ухаживать Перевод слова To nurse a fire — поддерживать огонь maternity nurse — акушерка mental nurse — сиделка в психиатрической лечебнице nurse’s area — пост медсестры The Nurse gave the patient an enema. Медсестра поставила больному клизму. He’s been Nursing an elderly relative. Он присматривает за престарелым родственником. I’m training ... Читать далее...