There is a guy from ARMY driving from West Point to the Meadowlands

Related topics:

1. A man was driving through West VirginiaA man was driving through West Virginia looking for a place to move to. He saw 2 men sitting on a porch and said, «I’m moving here from the city, what do you guys do around here?» The men answered, «Go hunt’n, kill things, ‘n screw». He then asked, «What do you hunt and kill?» ... Читать далее...
2. The Army Airborne major was used to harassmentThe Army Airborne major was used to harassment from Air Force fliers about crazy Army paratroopers jumping out of perfectly good aircraft. «Obviously the Air Force knows there’s no such thing as a ‘perfectly good aircraft,'» the irritated officer finally countered one afternoon, «because they pay you bastards four times as much to stay in ... Читать далее...
3. Getting in an accidentA Rabbi and a Priest are driving one day and, by a freak accident, have a head-on collision with tremendous force. Both cars are totally demolished, but amazingly, neither of the clerics has a scratch on him. After they crawl out of their cars, the rabbi sees the priest’s collar and says, «So you’re a ... Читать далее...
4. A Lutheran minister is driving downA Lutheran minister is driving down to New York to see the radio show and he’s stopped in Connecticut for speeding. The state trooper smells alcohol on his breath and then he sees an empty wine bottle on the floor, and he says, «Sir, have you been drinking?» And the minister says, «Just water.» The ... Читать далее...
5. Перевод слова armyArmy — армия Перевод слова Army brass — командующий армией to organize an army — создать армию to raise an army — собрать армию I was an Army brat. Я была армия, брат. The Army was disranked. Армия была дезорганизована. The Army surged forward Армия рванулась вперед. Интересные факты In the Army Now — семнадцатый ... Читать далее...
6. A marine general, an army general and a navy admiralA marine general, an army general and a navy admiral were discussing who had the toughest men. The army general says, «Alright, I’ll prove the army has the toughest men in the country. Private, get over here!» The private reports as ordered, «Yes sir?» The general says, «See that man over there? Kill him!» Without ... Читать далее...
7. Do this while drivingStrange and silly things to do while driving. We do not advise doing any of the below «things to do while driving», as all driving should be taken seriously. The below «things to do while driving» are simply here for entertainment purposes. Vary your vehicle’s speed inversely with the speed limit. Roll down your windows ... Читать далее...
8. Driving in Great Britain — Вождение в ВеликобританииWelcome to the free Tourist Information Line for visitors to Great Britain. For information on visas and immigration, please press one. For information on driving in Britain, please press two. For information on hotels, please press three. For information on public transport in Britain, please press four. To return to this menu at any time ... Читать далее...
9. Don’t do while drivingWe do not advise following any of the below driving rules to any extent. Driving should be taken seriously at all times. The below jokes are simply here for entertainment purposes. When using a metered entrance ramp, vehicles in the carpool lane do not need to stop. Similarly, vehicles NOT in the diamond lane also ... Читать далее...
10. There was this hooker who mistook a Salvation Army man forThere was this hooker who mistook a Salvation Army man for a soldier and propositioned him. The Salvation Army gent said, «Ma’am, you may be forgiven, as a pitiable victim of circumstances. Tell me, are you familiar with the concept of ‘original sin’?» The hooker replied, «Well, maybe and maybe not. But if it’s «really» ... Читать далее...
11. Driving school testThe following are a sampling of real answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation’s driving school. Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road? A: What for? He can’t see my license plate. Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop ... Читать далее...
12. Перевод слова wreckWreck — крушение, авария, катастрофа Перевод слова Plane wreck — крушение самолета wreck-resistant car — безопасный автомобиль wreck a country’s economy — подорвать экономику страны The car was a total Wreck. Автомобиль был полностью разбит. He was killed in a car Wreck. Он погиб в автомобильной аварии. The house was a Wreck after the party. ... Читать далее...
13. Army needs new recruitsTop Ways The Army Is Trying To Boost Recruiting 8. Military transport flights now earn you Delta frequent flier miles 7. Where else can you shoot guns and get awakened in the middle of the night by loud explosions besides New York, Chicago and Detroit? 6. Get rid of all those creepy «Richard Simmons Wants ... Читать далее...
14. A man is driving down the freewayA man is driving down the freeway when he sees a sign that says; «Get gas and free sex here». So obviously the guy was interested, so he stopped, filled up went inside to pay. «Pick a number from 1 — 10 to get free sex.» said the cashier. «Uh, okay, 3!» the man replied. ... Читать далее...
15. California Driving Test AnswersThe following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation’s driving school (read at Saturday Traffic School for moving violation offenders.) Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road? A: What for? He can’t see my license plate. Q: Who has the right ... Читать далее...
16. Dangerous Freeway DrivingI do a lot of driving in my job. You would think that driving several hours Each way would Get old really fast, but I have ways of making an Interminable drive seem much more exciting. I like to drive fast on the freeways. I usually Pass all of the slower cars by staying in ... Читать далее...
17. Driving Through a Speed TrapAngel: Why are you driving At a snail’s pace? Georgina: This is an Infamous speed trap. I don’t want to get a Ticket – again. Angel: I don’t see any Squad cars along the road. Are you sure this is the right Stretch of road? Georgina: I’m sure. Those Cops are Crafty. They Hide out ... Читать далее...
18. Juggler, driving to his next performanceJuggler, driving to his next performance, was stopped by the police. ‘What are those knives doing in your car?’ asked the officer. ‘I juggle them in my act.’ Oh yeah?’ says the cop. ‘Let’s see you do it.’ So the juggler starts tossing and juggling the knives. A guy driving by sees this and says, ... Читать далее...
19. Harry and his wife are driving in the countryHarry and his wife are driving in the country when he sees a sign that says, «Cow For Sale…$5000.» He pulls in and says to the farmer, «There’s no cow in the world worth five thousand dollars.» The farmer says, Oh, yeah? Take a look at this.» He lifts the cow’s tail, and Harry sees ... Читать далее...
20. Three Reform Rabbis were in a terrible auto wreckThree Reform Rabbis were in a terrible auto wreck. None survived. One minute they were driving along the highway, talking and laughing and joking, and the next, BOOM! they were before the Creator of all. Shaking his head, The Omnipotent One looks at the three. «Reform I can understand. But where will it end? You! ... Читать далее...
21. Two guys are driving through Texas whenTwo guys are driving through Texas when they get pulled over by a state trooper. The trooper walks up, taps on the window with his nightstick, the driver rolls down the window, and the trooper smacks him in the head with the stick. The driver says, «Why’d you do that? The trooper says, «You’re in ... Читать далее...
22. A juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped byA juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police. «What are these matches and lighter fluid doing in your car?» asks the cop. «I’m a juggler and I juggle flaming torches in my act.» «Oh yeah?» says the doubtful cop. «Lets see you do it.» The juggler gets out and starts juggling ... Читать далее...
23. During an Army war gameDuring an Army war game, a commanding officer’s jeep got stuck in the mud. The C. O. saw some men lounging around nearby and asked them to help him get unstuck. «Sorry sir,» said one of the loafers, «but we’ve been classified dead and the umpire said we couldn’t contribute in any way.» The C. ... Читать далее...
24. A man was driving up a steep and narrow mountain roadA man was driving up a steep and narrow mountain road. A woman was driving down the same road. As they passed each other, the woman leaned out the window and yelled, «Pig!» The man immediately leaned out his window and replied, «Bitch!» They continue on their way and as the man rounded the next ... Читать далее...
25. How Army policy beganThis is Army policy all begins… Start with a cage containing five apes. In the cage, hang a banana on a string and put stairs under it. Before long, an ape will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the Banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the apes ... Читать далее...
26. Driving DirectionsI was Getting into my car at the mall when I noticed a man standing Nearby with a map. He looked confused and I asked him if I could help. He Looked up and was Clearly relieved. He was from Houston, Texas, he told me, and he was visiting his daughter. She was at work ... Читать далее...
27. Driving DirectionsI was Getting into my car at the mall when I noticed a man standing Nearby with a map. He looked confused and I asked him if I could help. He Looked up and was Clearly relieved. He was from Houston, Texas, he told me, and he was visiting his daughter. She was at work ... Читать далее...
28. Misunderstanding termsOne reason the Services have trouble operating jointly is that they don’t speak the same language. For example, if you told Navy personnel to «secure a building,» they would turn off the lights and lock the doors. Army personnel would occupy the building so no one could enter. Marines would assault the building, capture it, ... Читать далее...
29. Перевод идиомы be in the driving seat, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: be in the driving seat Идиома: be in the driving seat Перевод: находиться у руля, держать рычаги власти, иметь контроль над ситуацией Пример: The consumer is in the driving seat due to the huge range of goods on the market. Потребитель имел весь контроль над ситуацией из-за огромного выбора товаров на рынке....
30. Значение идиомы brass hat[brass hat] {n.}, {slang} 1. A high officer in the army, navy, or air force. The brass hats In Washington often discuss important secrets. 2. Any person who has a high position in business, politics, or other work. Mr. Woods, the rich oil man, is a political brass hat....
31. Army fitness reportBritish Military Officer Fitness Reports The British Military writes OFR’s (officer fitness reports). The form used for Royal Navy and Marines fitness reports is the S206. The following are actual excerpts taken from people’s «206’s»…. — His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity. — I would not breed from this Officer. ... Читать далее...
32. Be politically correctHow to be Politically Correct when talking about Men (Or Army Men) — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — He does not ... Читать далее...
33. Drinking and drivingThe following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. The «Environmental Engineering News» published some rather sobering information about punishment for drunk driving convictions in other countries. In Australia, the names of drunk drivers are printed in newspapers under the caption, ... Читать далее...
34. How Chuko Liang Used A Lute To Single-Handedly Defeat An Army Of 150,000During China’s Three Kingdoms period there was a brilliant general and master strategist of Shu Han named Chuko «Sleeping Dragon» Liang. During the War of the Three Kingdoms, he had sent a majority of his soldiers many miles away before he was alerted that an opposing army of 150,000 was headed towards the small town ... Читать далее...
35. Clean Ireland HumorAn English man and an Irish man are driving head on, at night, on a twisty, dark road. Both are driving to fast for the conditions and collide on a sharp bend in the road. To the amazement of both, they are unscathed, though their cars are both destroyed. In celebration of their luck, both ... Читать далее...
36. A man was driving from New York to San FranciscoA man was driving from New York to San Francisco. He got as far as Cleveland, when he realized he was getting terribly horny. So he looked up a house of ill repute and took care of the problem. Immediately, a severe guilt reaction set in, so he went to confession. For penance, he was ... Читать далее...
37. An army private went to see the Medical Captain for a newAn army private went to see the Medical Captain for a new pair of glasses. The Captain looked in his book of record and said, «But you just got a new pair last month!» «Yes sir, b.. b.. but I got them b..broken in an accident,» stammered the private. «Accident, what kind of an accident?» ... Читать далее...
38. Перевод слова navyNavy — военно-морской флот Перевод слова The Royal Navy — военно-морской флот Великобритании navy in the air — морская авиация Navy Regulations — военно-морской устав The two boys opted for the Navy. Оба парня выбрали военно-морской флот. Sex scandals sink US Navy’s reputation. Скандалы на сексуальной почве позорят военно-морской флот США. The country is defended ... Читать далее...
39. One day a guy was driving with his 4-year-old daughterOne day a guy was driving with his 4-year-old daughter and beeped his car horn by mistake. She turned and looked at him for an explanation. He said, «I did that by accident.» She replied, «I know that, daddy.» He replied, «How’d you know?» The girl said, «Because you didn’t say ‘ASSHOLE!’ afterwards!»...
40. US Armed ForcesИз топика Вооруженные силы США вы узнаете о структуре американской армии, как государство обеспечивает своих военнослужащих, почему женщины стремятся наравне с мужчинами пройти военную службу и чем так привлекательна служба в армии для граждан США. The Armed Forces of the USA include the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marine Corps and Coast Guard. The regular components ... Читать далее...