There are three friends, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead

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1. Three women, A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde Three women, A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde, all come home from work at the same time and get on the elevator. The brunette notices a blob on the elevator wall and says: ” OOOOOhhh that looks like semen.” She reaches out and touches the blob with her fingers and says “It feels like […]...
2. A blonde woman competed with a brunette and redheaded woman A blonde woman competed with a brunette and redheaded woman in the Breast Stroke division of an English Channel swim competition. The brunette came in first, the redhead second. The blonde woman finally reached shore completely exhausted. After being revived with blankets and coffee, she remarked: “I don’t want to complain, but I think those […]...
3. A blonde and a brunette were talking one day A blonde and a brunette were talking one day. The brunette said that her boyfriend had a slight dandruff problem but she gave him “Head and Shoulders” and it cleared it up. The blonde asked inquisitively, “How do you give shoulders?”...
4. Judi and a brunette were discussing their boyfriends Judi and a brunette were discussing their boyfriends. Brunette: Last night I had *three* orgasms in a row! Judi: That’s nothing; last night I had over a hundred. Brunette: My god! I had no idea he was that good. Judi: (looking shocked) Oh, you mean with one guy....
5. A blonde named Vikki decides she wants to try A blonde named Vikki decides she wants to try horseback riding one day. So Vikki mounts the horse, taps its butt, and the horse starts to take off at a reasonable speed. She is having fun, and decides she wants to go a little faster, so she kicks the horses butt, and the horse goes […]...
6. A young blonde woman is distraught A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband […]...
7. Seeing Old Friends This is Turning out to be a month for seeing Old friends. I got an email a couple of weeks ago from an old friend from Graduate School. She and her family are visiting L. A. for a week. They plan to see family and to visit old friends. Since she moved out of the […]...
8. Commiting suicide A blonde and a brunette are living together. The brunette came home from work one day and the blonde had a rope around her waist. The brunette asked why the rope was around her waist. The blonde said that she was trying to commit suicide. The brunette said, “You put it around your neck!” The […]...
9. Значение идиомы make friends [make friends] {v. phr.} To become friends; form a friendship. Mrs. Jones invited Bobby to her home to play with Don. She hoped thatthey would make friends with each other. You can make friends withan elephant by giving him peanuts....
10. Значение идиомы friends with [friends with] Friendly to; a friend of. Alice found severalgirls to be friends with on the first day of school. At first Ididn’t like John, but now I am friends with him....
11. That is ONE! A middle aged rancher in pioneer days of old, had growen tired of working so hard to build a beautiful ranch house and huge herd to go with it. So he thought it would be nice to get one of those mail order brides. Well he sent for one and on the day she was […]...
12. Buying A Bull Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last […]...
13. Three guys enter a disabled swimming contest Three guys enter a disabled swimming contest. The first has no arms. The second no legs and the third has no body, just a head. They all line up, the whistle blows and “splash” they’re all in the pool. The guy with no arms takes the lead instantly but the guy with no legs is […]...
14. A lawyer and two friends, a Rabbi and a Hindu holy man A lawyer and two friends, a Rabbi and a Hindu holy man, had car trouble in the countryside and asked to spend the night with a farmer. The farmer said, “There might be a problem. You see, I only have room for two to sleep, one of you must sleep in the barn.” “No problem,” […]...
15. A blonde decides to try horseback riding A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and then horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse’s mane, […]...
16. Friends Don’t Let Friends Walk Through Revolving Doors Alone What it says about your friendship when you find yourself squished into a revolving-door with a companion. “Great works are often born on the street-corner or in a restaurant’s revolving door,” said Albert Camus, and a recent study shows that he was on to something. The revolving door is not just the accidental setting for […]...
17. Перевод слова shore Shore – берег, побережье, земля Перевод слова Bold shore – крутой берег clear shore – безопасный берег distant shores – далекие земли Head the boat toward Shore. Направь лодку к берегу. The fog obfuscated the Shore. Над берегом моря сгустился туман. The sub was conducting exercises off the Shore of Florida. Подводная лодка находилась в […]...
18. A blonde goes for a job interview A blonde goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer decides to start with the basics. ‘So, Miss, can you tell us your age, please?’ The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for about 30 seconds before replying, ‘Ehhhh.. 22!’ The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice. ‘And can you […]...
19. Safe to swim here While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting and old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted,”Are there any gators around here?!” “Naw,” the man hollered back, “they ain’t been around for years!” “Feeling […]...
20. Two friends were out drinking Two friends were out drinking when suddenly one lurched backward off his barstool and lay motionless on the floor. “One thing about Jim,” his buddy said to the bartender, “he knows when to stop.”...
21. Characteristics of an Ideal Mate I’ve been trying To set up my good friend, Rachid, with one of my single girlfriends, but I still wasn’t too sure what his Type would be. Tamara: So, tell me what you’re looking for in a woman. Rachid: She has to be Rich and Hot! Tamara: Come on! Be serious. Rachid: Okay, okay, but […]...
22. Counting cars A blond sees a brunette standing in the middle of the highway. The brunette keeps saying, “88, 88, 88…” The blond calls to her as the cars and trucks wizz past. “What are you doing?” “I’m counting cars,”comes the rely. “Want to help?” “Sure!” says the blond. She walks out to the middle of the […]...
23. Two friends met after a long time, and chatted about Two friends met after a long time, and chatted about what??s been going on since they last met. One of them had a new girlfriend and the other one asked about her cooking, her relation to his folks etc. etc. and finally asked “How is she in bed?” First guy replies “She??s fantastic, she sucks […]...
24. A blonde decided that she was tired of her empty life A blonde decided that she was tired of her empty life. She cut her hair and dyed it brown, and set off for a drive. She wanted to do random acts of kindness to see if it would change her life. While driving through the countryside, she came across a farmer who was trying to […]...
25. An old rabbi is talking with one of his friends An old rabbi is talking with one of his friends and says with a warm smile, “I gladdened seven hearts today.” “Seven hearts?” asks the friend. “How did you do that?” The rabbi strokes his beard and replies, “I performed three marriages.” The friend looks at him quizically. “Seven?” he asks. “I could understand six, […]...
26. Two old friends are having coffee when the first woman says Two old friends are having coffee when the first woman says, “I hear that you’ve been telling people that I’m ugly!” “Oh NO! I’ve just been saying that your new hairdo makes you look less attractive.” “I also heard that you’ve been calling me fat?!?” “Oh NO! I just said that the way you wear […]...
27. Перевод идиомы make friends, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: make friends Перевод: подружиться; заводить друзей Пример: She is shy and is not able to make friends easily. Она застенчивая, и ей сложно заводить друзей....
28. Lunching with English friends at the time of her husbands reverement Lunching with English friends at the time of her husbands reverement, Madame de Gaulle was asked what she was looking forward to in the years ahead. “A penis.” she replied without hesitation. The embarrassed silence that followed was broken by the former President. “My dear, I don’t think that the English pronounce the word like […]...
29. Arkansas Mother Writes Her Son ARKANSAS MOTHER WRITES HER SON Dearest Redneck Son, I’m writing this slow because I know you can’t read fast. We don’t live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home, so we moved. I won’t be able to send you […]...
30. Значение идиомы shore leave [shore leave] {n.} Permission given to a man in the Navy to leavehis ship and go where he wants for a certain length of time. Jimwent to visit New York when he was given three days’ shore leave. The ship did not dock long enough for the sailors to get shoreleave....
31. Two old friends from the mountains ran into each other Two old friends from the mountains ran into each other at the local bar. One said, “Heard ya went to the big city Jeb.” His friend replied, “Yep. Even tried me out one of those ‘loose women’ ya always hear about.” “You don’t say.” said the first man. “Bet that was costly.” “Nope.” Jeb smirked. […]...
32. An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, “Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I’m going to jump off this building.” The Mexican opened […]...
33. Перевод слова swim Swim – плавать, плыть, купаться Перевод слова To swim over – переплыть to swim in a pool – плавать в бассейне never offer to teach fish to swim – смешно учить рыбу плавать Let’s go for a Swim. Пойдемте купаться. A Swim will do me good. Мне будет полезно немного поплавать. I fancy a Swim. […]...
34. A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer wants to ask her a few questions…. Officer: What’s 2+2? Blonde: Ummmmm… 4! Officer: What’s the square root of 100? Blonde: Ummmm… 10! Officer: Good! Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln? Blonde: Ummmm… I dunno. Officer: Well, you can go home and think […]...
35. A blonde went to the appliance store sale A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. “I would like to buy this TV,” she told the salesman. “Sorry we don’t sell to blondes,” he replied. She hurried home, dyed her hair, came back again and told the salesman, “I would like to buy this TV.” “Sorry we don’t sell […]...
36. Two friends, an Italian boy and a Jewish boy Two friends, an Italian boy and a Jewish boy, come of age at the same time. The Italian boy’s father presents him with a new pistol. On the other side of town, at his bar Mitzvah, the Jewish boy receives a beautiful gold watch. The next day at school, the two boys are showing each […]...
37. Диалог на английском языке с переводом “Разговор друзей” (Dialogue between two friends) – Wow! It’s only 2 days left till our winter holidays! – Yes, Mark. I can’t help waiting for the end of the term. We are going to have a proper rest at last. I’m so tired of my studies. – Me too, Jack. It’s been a long and hard term. What are you going […]...
38. Зачем нужны друзья?/ Why Do We Need Friends? На английском языке Перевод на русский язык Why Do We Need Friends? Зачем нужны друзья? There is a wise saying: “A friend in need is a friend indeed” and it is always true. A friend is a person who you can trust. I think that everyone needs good friends, otherwise life becomes boring. We all […]...
39. Мои друзья/ My Friends На английском языке Перевод на русский язык My Friends Мои друзья As we live, we meet lots of interesting people in our way. Some become our friends, some just acquaintances and some stay for a long time with becoming our best friends. Friendship is an important part of life. In friendship people of similar interests […]...
40. My Friends – Мои друзья (1) I have a lot of friends, but the best friend of mine is Irina. She has blue eyes, a round face, fair hair and a broad smile. She is short and slim. I have known her for a long time, since our first school years. But we became true friends four years ago. We have […]...