The WORK virus

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1. Virus AlertThere is a very dangerous virus going around and it is propogated through the email system. If you get an email message with the subject: «VIRUS ALERT!» do not open the mail message. If you do, the virus scrambles the second half of every text file on your system. VERY IMPORTANT: If you do get ... Читать далее...
2. Перевод слова virusVirus — вирус Перевод слова Virus disease — вирусное заболевание anti-virus software — антивирусное ПО masked virus — скрытый вирус rabid virus — вирус бешенства Your computer has been infected with a Virus. Ваш компьютер заражен вирусом. There are many different strains of flu Virus. Имеется много штаммов вируса гриппа. Hackers are said to have ... Читать далее...
3. Is Windows a Virus?No, Windows is not a virus. Here’s what viruses (viri?) do: 1. They replicate quickly — okay, Windows does that. 2. Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so — okay, Windows does that. 3. Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk — okay, Windows does ... Читать далее...
4. The Irish VirusAn actual mailing: Greetings, You have just received the «IRISH VIRUS». As we don’t have any programming experience, this virus works on the honor system. Please delete all the files on your hard drive manually and forward this virus to everyone on your mailing list. Thank you for your cooperation....
5. The Latest Breaking News on the GoodTimes VirusIt turns out that this so-called hoax virus is very dangerous after all. Goodtimes will re-write your hard drive. Not only that, it will scramble any disks that are even close to your computer. It will recalibrate your refrigerator’s coolness setting so all your ice cream goes melty. It will demagnetize the strips on all ... Читать далее...
6. A young bloke has started work on a propertyA young bloke has started work on a property, and the boss sends him up the back paddocks to do some fencing work, but come evening he’s half an hour late. The boss gets on the CB radio to check if he’s all right. «I’ve got a problem, Boss. I’m stuck ‘ere. I’ve hit a ... Читать далее...
7. Stop being late to workTom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn’t do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went ... Читать далее...
8. Перевод сленгового выражения work one’s ass off / work one’s tail off / work one’s buns off / work one’s butt off, значение и пример использованияСленговое выражение: work one’s ass off / work one’s tail off / work one’s buns off / work one’s butt off Сленговое выражение: work one’s ass off / work one’s tail off / work one’s buns off / work one’s butt off груб. Перевод: усердно трудиться, много работать Пример: You’ve been working your ass off ... Читать далее...
9. The pretty secretary came in late for work the third dayThe pretty secretary came in late for work the third day in a row. The boss called her into his office and said, «Now look Sharon, I know we had a wild fling for a while, but that’s over. I expect you to conduct yourself like any other employee around here. The boss pressed on, ... Читать далее...
10. Reasons to stay at work all night1. Act out your version of a company takeover. 2. Find a way to change everyone’s password to «chrysanthemum». 3. Around 3:20am, play connect-the-dots with lights still on in other office buildings. Keep going until you see a small woodland creature. 4. Sneaking in the boss’s desk could land you an unexpected promotion. 5. Draw ... Читать далее...
11. Workplace insanityHOW TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY IN THE WORKPLACE Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice. Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. This is especially effective if your boss is of a different gender than you. Make ... Читать далее...
12. Learning Work Rules and RoutinesI was happy to finally get a job, but I wasn’t ready for a first day of work like this one. … Boss: This is your first day and my job is To give you the rundown on how we do things around here. This is a Well-oiled machine. Everybody has To pull his or ... Читать далее...
13. George Costanza’s Tips for Working Hard IIUse computers to look busy. Any time you use a computer, it looks like «work» to the casual observer. You can send and receive personal e-mail, calculate your finances and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren’t exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would ... Читать далее...
14. Never say it at workTWELVE THINGS YOU’LL NEVER HEAR AN EMPLOYEE TELL HIS/HER BOSS 1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 5:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is always refreshing. 2. If it’s really a «rush job,» run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how it’s ... Читать далее...
15. Time Off from WorkMy buddy from college, Jack, was getting married and our friend Rob was planning a Bachelor party for him in Vegas. It was going to be the Last weekend of the month and I wanted to go. The trouble was, I was scheduled to work that weekend. I needed to get the Time off from ... Читать далее...
16. Reasons to allow drinking at workThe below are valid reasons as to why drinking should be allowed at work. If you use them wisely, you may even be able to convince your boss into allowing alcohol. 1. It’s an incentive to show up. 2. It reduces stress. 3. It leads to more honest communications. 4. It reduces complaints about low ... Читать далее...
17. Перевод слова codeCode — код, шифр Перевод слова Diplomatic code — дипломатический код in code — закодированный bar code — штрих-код traffic code — правила дорожного движения We have a relaxed Dress code at the office. У нас в офисе непринужденный дресс-код. He managed to hack the Code. Ему удалось взломать код. What’s the Code for Aberdeen? ... Читать далее...
18. Пословица / поговорка a little hard work never killed anyone / a little work never hurt anyone — перевод и значение, пример использованияПословица / поговорка: a little hard work never killed anyone / a little work never hurt anyone Перевод: небольшой труд еще никому не навредил Пример: The mother said that a little hard work never hurt anyone and asked her son to clean the kitchen. Мать сказала, что немного труда еще никому не вредило, и попросила ... Читать далее...
19. Значение идиомы in touch[in touch] {adj. phr.} Talking or writing to each other; giving andgetting news. John kept in touch with his school friends during thesummer. Police anywhere in the U. S. can get in touch instantlywith any other police department by teletype. The man claimed tobe in touch with people on another planet. Compare: KEEP TRACK. Contrast: ... Читать далее...
20. Значение идиомы C. O. D[C. O. D.] {n. phr.} Abbreviation of «cash on delivery.» If you want to receive a piece of merchandise by mail and pay when you receive it, you place a C. O. D. order....
21. The job security quizThe job security quiz will help judge how long you’ll end up at your current job and what will become of you. The boss appears at your cubicle and finds you playing DOOM at your desk, you… A. Swear to take the game off your hard drive forever, but first make a copy for his ... Читать далее...
22. Types of computer virusesAdam and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple. Airline virus: You’re in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore. Anita Hill virus: Lies dormant for ten years. Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates and stays resident. It’ll be back. AT&T virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are ... Читать далее...
23. Work & CareerSome people change their jobs every few years. Others say it is better to work for one company for a long period. Almost everybody dreams of having a good job and making a career. Some people prefer sticking to one company for many years, while others, especially young people, are constantly looking for something better. ... Читать далее...
24. Перевод слова immediatelyImmediately — непосредственно, немедленно Перевод слова In the years immediately ahead — в ближайшие годы it does not affect me immediately — это меня непосредственно не касается to reply immediately — моментально реагировать They fell to work Immediately. Они сразу взялись за работу. The police Immediately ringed the building. Полиция в один момент окружила здание. ... Читать далее...
25. Who is doing the work around here?The population of the United States was 180 million at the time of writing, but there are 64 million over 60 years of age, leaving 116 million to do the work. People under 21 total 59 million which leaves 57 million people to do the work. Because of the 31 million government employees, there are ... Читать далее...
26. Значение идиомы lose touch[lose touch] {v. phr.}, {informal} To fail to keep in contact orcommunication. — Usually used with «with». After she moved toanother town, she lost touch with her childhood friends. Compare: OUTOF TOUCH....
27. Перевод слова touchTouch — прикасаться, трогать Перевод слова Dry to the touch — сухой на ощупь touch of frost — заморозки a touch to the cap — приветствие прикосновением к шапке Don’t Touch my CDs! Не трогай мои диски! Bye. I’ll be in Touch. До свидания. Я буду на связи. How does this Touch me? Какое это ... Читать далее...
28. Bosses versus workersWhen I take a long time, I am slow. When my boss takes a long time, he is thorough. When I don’t do it, I am lazy. When my boss doesn’t do it, he’s too busy. When I do it without being told, I’m trying to be smart. When my boss does the same, that ... Читать далее...
29. Different Work StylesBefore I started my new job, I didn’t know that I would be working so closely with another employee of the company. I was used to a lot of Autonomy in my last job, and I have always been Self-directed. I didn’t need Close supervision and the boss never had to worry about me Slacking ... Читать далее...
30. Preferring Different Work StylesHugo: How do you like working with Leo? Is it Working out? Melissa: No, it’s not. Our Work styles completely Clash and we Butt heads at every turn. Hugo: Really? I thought you were Partnered up because you Complemented each other’s Strengths. Melissa: Yeah, but that doesn’t mean we can work well together. I’m Collaborative ... Читать далее...
31. Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morningTom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn’t do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went ... Читать далее...
32. Значение идиомы work[work] See: ALL IN A DAY’S WORK, ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK ADULL BOY, AT WORK, BUSY WORK, IN THE WORKS, MAKE SHORT WORK OF, MANYHANDS MAKE LIGHT WORK, SHOOT THE WORKS, THE WORKS, IN THE WORKS....
33. Limits to Advancement at WorkGloria: Did you hear that Manuel is quitting? He took a job with another company. Sam: I’m not surprised. He came up against the Glass ceiling and he decided To jump ship. Gloria: Really? I didn’t know he was Bucking for promotion. Sam: He’s been trying to become a manager for three years, but other ... Читать далее...
34. Значение идиомы all in a day’s work[all in a day’s work] or [all in the day’s work] {adj. phr.}, {informal} Unpleasant or bad but to be expected; not harder than usual; not unusual. Keeping ants away from a picnic lunch is all in the day’s work. When the car had a flat tire, Father said that it was all in a ... Читать далее...
35. Перевод слова mailMail — почта, посылать по почте Перевод слова To deliver mail — доставлять почту to deliver by air mail — доставлять авиапочтой by mail — по почте express mail — экспресс-почта She Mailed the package to me. Она послала мне посылку. You’ve Got Mail. Вам письмо. The order came by Mail. Заказ пришел по почте. ... Читать далее...
36. The external organs of a body were fighting over who should be bossThe external organs of a body were fighting over who should be boss. The brain said, «I should be boss, since I control what the person thinks.» The hands said, «I should be boss because I do almost everything for the person.» The legs declared, «I shuld be boss since I carry the body and ... Читать далее...
37. Перевод слова workWork — работа, труд, дело Перевод слова Work camp — исправительно-трудовой лагерь to cease work — прекращать работу in the course of the work — на протяжении работы I can’t get the heater to Work. Я не могу заставить нагреватель работать. It won’t Work. Этот номер не пройдет. He hates to Work. Он ненавидит работать. ... Читать далее...
38. Значение идиомы at work[at work] {adj, phr.} Busy at a job; doing work. The teacher was soon hard at work correcting that day’s test. Jim is at work on his car....
39. Identifying wasted timeTO: ALL PERSONNEL FROM: ACCOUNTING It has come to our attention recently that many of you have been turning in timesheets that specify large amounts of «Miscellaneous Unproductive Time» (Code 5309). However, we need to know exactly what you are doing during your unproductive time. Attached below is a sheet specifying a tentative extended job ... Читать далее...
40. Finally, a worthy pyramid scheme!Finally, a worthy pyramid scheme! Simply send this e-mail to 9 of your mates… INSTRUCTIONS Anaesthetise your wife/girlfriend, put her in a large carton, (don’t forget some ventilation holes), and send it to the person who is at the top of your list. Soon, your name will be at the top of the list, and ... Читать далее...