The seven dwarves were in Rome

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1. Nuns First Hot DogNuns First Hot Dog Two Scottish nuns have just arrived in the USA by boat and one says to the other, «I hear that the occupants of this country actually eat dogs.» «Odd,» her companion replies, «but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do.» Nodding emphatically, the ... Читать далее...
2. Пословица / поговорка Rome wasn’t built in a day / Rome was not built in a day — перевод и значение, пример использованияПословица / поговорка: Rome wasn’t built in a day / Rome was not built in a day Перевод: Рим строился не один день Эквивалент в русском языке: не сразу Москва строилась Пример: Rome was not built in a day and the government officials realized that it was going to take many years to rebuild the ... Читать далее...
3. An old sailing ship is becalmed at seaAn old sailing ship is becalmed at sea with a full complement of sailors. They are stuck there for days and days with nothing to do. One morning the captain decides he is going to lay on some entertainment for the men. He orders a barrel to be placed on the top deck. It has ... Читать далее...
4. Two dwarfs pick up two hookers and take them to their hotel roomsTwo dwarfs pick up two hookers and take them to their hotel rooms. The first dwarf not only can’t get a hard-on, but all night he has to listen to the other dwarf and the other hooker grunting «One, two three, uhh…one, two three, uhh…» In the morning, the second dwarf says to the first ... Читать далее...
5. One balmy evening in Rome the Pope decides toOne balmy evening in Rome the Pope decides to take a walk. He slips out the rear door of the Vatican and is walking through the back alleys of Rome when he sees a ten-year-old boy smoking a cigarette. The Pope gently says to him, «Young man, you’re much too young to smoke!» The kid ... Читать далее...
6. Значение идиомы all roads lead to Rome[all roads lead to Rome] {literary} The same end or goal may be reached by many different ways. — A proverb. «I don’t care how you get the answer,» said the teacher, «All roads lead to Rome.»...
7. Значение идиомы Rome wasn’t built in a day[Rome wasn’t built in a day] Great things are not accomplishedovernight; great deeds take a long time. — A proverb. A takes along time to write a successful novel, but don’t worry; Rome wasn’tbuilt in a day, as the saying goes....
8. Пословица / поговорка all roads lead to Rome — перевод и значение, пример использованияПословица / поговорка: all roads lead to Rome Перевод: все дороги ведут в Рим Пример: All roads lead to Rome and the two groups used two different methods to finish the project. Все дороги ведут в Рим, и эти две группы использовали разные методы для завершения своих проектов....
9. The Mother Superior in the convent school was chatting withThe Mother Superior in the convent school was chatting with her young charges and she asked them what they wanted to be when they grew up. A twelve-year-old said, «I want to be a prostitute.» The Mother Superior fainted dead away on the spot. When they revived her, she raised her head from the ground ... Читать далее...
10. Пословица / поговорка when in Rome do as the Romans do — перевод и значение, пример использованияПословица / поговорка: when in Rome do as the Romans do Перевод: в чужой монастырь со своим уставом не ходят Эквивалент в русском языке: с волками жить — по-волчьи выть Пример: The diplomat believed that when in Rome do as the Romans do and he made an effort to learn the language and the customs ... Читать далее...
11. On the airplane on his way back to Rome, the Pope wasOn the airplane on his way back to Rome, the Pope was doing a crossword puzzle. After a while, he turned the the bishop sitting next to him and said, «What’s a four — letter word ending in «unt» which means «woman»? The bishop said, «Did you try «aunt»? The Pope said, «Mmmm. Do you ... Читать далее...
12. Confuse traffic signsA cop pulls over a carload of nuns. Cop: «Sister, this is a 65 MPH highway — why are you going so slow?» Sister: «Sir, I saw a lot of signs that said 22, not 65.» Cop: «Oh sister, that’s not the speed limit, that’s the name of the highway you’re on! Sister: Oh! Silly ... Читать далее...
13. Show him your crossTwo nuns, Sister Mary Agnes and Sister Mary Vincent, are traveling through Europe in their car, sightseeing in Transylvania. As they are stopped at a traffic light, out of nowhere, a small vampire jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses at them through the windshield. «Quick, quick!» shouts Sister Mary Agnes, «What should ... Читать далее...
14. Перевод слова superiorSuperior — высший, лучший, превосходный Перевод слова Superior intellect — высокий интеллект superior air — выражение превосходства superior smile — надменная улыбка superior limbs — верхние конечности, руки Your computer is far Superior to mine. Ваш компьютер намного превосходит мой. He says he obeys Superior orders. Он говорит, что подчиняется приказам «сверху». No one is ... Читать далее...
15. A nun comes to her Mother Superior and asks herA nun comes to her Mother Superior and asks her to hear a confession: «Today I enjoyed the pleasures of the flesh. Father Goodwim came to me and told me that I had the gates to Heaven here between my legs. Then he said that he had the key to Heaven, and he put it ... Читать далее...
16. Two nuns are walking down an alleyTwo nuns are walking down an alley when two guys jump out of the dark. They start raping the nuns and the first nun says, «Forgive them, Father, for they know not what they do!» The second one says, «This one does!»...
17. Two nuns turn up at the fruit market and ask the veggie manTwo nuns turn up at the fruit market and ask the veggie man for 120 cucumbers. The guy advises: «Sisters, if you buy 3 crates, that’s 150, you’ll get a 25% discount!» The nuns look at each other, and after a prolonged period of thinking one whispers to the other: «We could eat the 30, ... Читать далее...
18. This guy unexpectedly got the day off and decidedThis guy unexpectedly got the day off and decided he would spend it on the golf course. After arriving at the club house, he was told that the only way he could play today was if he was willing to play along with three nuns. He agreed and set off with the nuns in tow. ... Читать далее...
19. TactfullnessThe contemplative routine of the convent was being disrupted by the presence of workmen converting the electrical service from overhead lines to buried cable. Mother Superior called the electric company’s complaint department to ask for help. «The profanity these men use constantly is unsuitable for our community. You must make them stop cursing so much.», ... Читать далее...
20. A pollster was taking opinions outside the United NationsA pollster was taking opinions outside the United Nations building in New York City. He approached four men waiting to cross the street: a Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean and a resident New Yorker. He asked, «Excuse me, I would like to ask you your opinion on the current meat shortage?» The Saudi replied, ... Читать далее...
21. A young Jewish man excitedly tells his motherA young Jewish man excitedly tells his mother he’s fallen in love and that he is going to get married. He says, «Just for fun, Ma, I’m going to bring over 3 women and you try and guess which one I’m going to marry.» The mother agrees. The next day, he brings three beautiful women ... Читать далее...
22. Father, mother and son decide to go to the zoo one dayFather, mother and son decide to go to the zoo one day. So they set off and are seeing lots of animals. Eventually they end up opposite the elephant house. The boy looks at the elephant, sees its willy, points to it and says, «Mummy, what is that long thing?» His mother replies, «That, son, ... Читать далее...
23. Two nuns were driving alone out in the booniesTwo nuns were driving alone out in the boonies. They ran out of gas. Fortunately they could walk to a gas station not far away, where they asked to purchase a can of gasoline. «I’m sorry, sister,» said the attendant, «but all I have for you to carry it in is an old chamber pot. ... Читать далее...
24. Little girl walks into the bathroomA little girl walks into the bathroom and sees her older sister just come out of the shower. The young girl looks at her sisters pussy and asks «What’s that?» Her sister replies «That is my possum, sis!» The young girl replies «Oh, OK» The next day she sees her mother get out of the ... Читать далее...
25. Three nuns went to a cucumber stand in an open marketThree nuns went to a cucumber stand in an open market one day. They asked how much the cucumbers were. The merchant said that they were 4 for a dollar. The nuns said okay. The puzzled merchant asked why they needed four cucumbers when there were only three of them. A nun answered back, «Well, ... Читать далее...
26. Two nuns go to a restaurant to have dinnerTwo nuns go to a restaurant to have dinner. They notice Rocky Mountain Oysters on the menu and wondered what that was. They ask the waiter who replies «Oh Sister, those are nuts.» She answers «Do you mean like the kind you crack with a rock?» «No. The kind you rock on a crack.»...
27. Politically Correct Feminine TerminologyFrom aperreat@saunix. sau. edu: Have you ever wanted to talk about a girl but was afraid that you would offend the person standing near you?…NOT. Well, if you are, then here are some alternatives to some popular phrases. I found them on a poster, but I don’t remember which one. She is not: An airhead ... Читать далее...
28. A talking birdOne man wanted to make a special gift for his mother on the Mother’s day. He run out of ideas but then found a pet shop where was birds that could sing, talk and dance. The price was 5 thousand dollars, but he bought two of them and send to his mother as a surprise. ... Читать далее...
29. Перевод слова entireEntire — полный, целый Перевод слова The entire country — вся страна the entire world — целый мир, весь свет entire contract — неделимый договор Have you drunk the Entire bottle? Вы выпили всю бутылку? He willed his Entire estate to her. Он завещал ей все свое состояние. The war affected an Entire generation of ... Читать далее...
30. Joe, the neighborhood chronic borrowerJoe, the neighborhood chronic borrower approached his neighbor, «Ray, may I borrow your axe?» «Not today,» Ray replied, «I have to make soup.» «What kind of excuse it that?!» demanded Joe. «Well,» confessed Ray, «I admit its a lousy excuse. But, if I don’t want to loan you my axe, one excuse is as good ... Читать далее...
31. Haircut before a tripA man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome. He mentioned the trip to the barber who responded, «Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It’s crowded & dirty and full of Italians. You’re crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?» «We’re taking TWA,» was the reply. ... Читать далее...
32. A young teenager comes home from schoolA young teenager comes home from school and asks her mother, «Is it true what Rita just told me? That babies come out of the same place where boys put their thingies?» «Yes, dear,» replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and she wouldn’t have to explain it. «But then when ... Читать далее...
33. A youngster devoted an entire rainy indoors afternoon to aA youngster devoted an entire rainy indoors afternoon to a drawing he was doing with varicolored crayons. His mother finally looked over his shoulder, and, puzzled, asked «Who’s that you’re drawing, son?» The son answered, «God.» «Don’t be silly,» reproved the mother. «Nobody knows what God looks like.» Not even pausing in his task, the ... Читать далее...
34. Mixed football jokesA burglary was recently committed at West Ham’s ground and the entire contents of the trophy room were stolen. The police are looking for a man with a claret & blue carpet. The seven dwarves are down in the mines when there is a cave-in. Snow White runs to the entrance and yells down to ... Читать далее...
35. Johnny missed his final exam due to the fluJohnny missed his final exam due to the flu, but he’d done so well during the year that the teacher suggests to the principal they give him an oral exam to make up for the test he’d missed. The principal agrees so they called Johnny into the office and explain about the oral test. First ... Читать далее...
36. Soap dispenserTwo priests are off to the showers late one night. They undress and step in the showers before they realize there is no soap. Father John says he has some soap in his room and goes to get it, not bothering to dress. He grabs two bars of soap in his hands and heads back ... Читать далее...
37. Перевод слова EuropeEurope — Европа Перевод слова Western Europe — Западная Европа Eastern Europe — Восточная Европа Council of Europe — Европейский совет Europe witnessed many wars. Европа не раз была ареной войн. The war was watched by all Europe. Вся Европа внимательно следила за ходом войны. Europe, in breathless suspense, awaited the issue. Европа, затаив дыхание, ... Читать далее...
38. A Jewish young man was seeing a psychiatristA Jewish young man was seeing a psychiatrist for an eating and sleeping disorder. «I am so obsessed with my mother… As soon as I go to sleep, I start dreaming, and everyone in my dream turns into my mother. I wake up in such a state, all I can do is go downstairs and ... Читать далее...
39. Punishing ChildrenYuki: What are you doing? Al: I’m getting ready to give Charlie a Spanking for Beating up his classmate. He has to learn that there are serious Consequences for his actions. Yuki: You’re Punishing him for beating someone by giving him a beating? That doesn’t make sense. Our response shouldn’t be An eye for an ... Читать далее...
40. City & Guilds для нас — City & Guilds for usEnglish is a worldwide language. Nowadays knowing of English is very important aspect to get a good job in Russia. Knowledge of English gives you additional chance to find a well-paid job in the time of crisis. But it`s impossible to know the quality of English without a special certificate. That`s why more and more ... Читать далее...