The Pentagon decided one day that there were to many

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1. A police officer came upon a terrible wreckA police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passenger had been killed. As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car. The officer looked down at the monkey and said «I wish you could talk.» The monkey looked up at ... Читать далее...
2. Army fitness reportBritish Military Officer Fitness Reports The British Military writes OFR’s (officer fitness reports). The form used for Royal Navy and Marines fitness reports is the S206. The following are actual excerpts taken from people’s «206’s»…. — His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity. — I would not breed from this Officer. ... Читать далее...
3. British Military Officer Fitness ReportsThe British Military writes OFR’s (officer fitness reports). The form used for Royal Navy and Marines fitness reports is the S206. The following are actual excerpts taken from people’s «206’s»…. — His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity. — I would not breed from this Officer. — This Officer is really ... Читать далее...
4. Перевод слова congressCongress — конгресс Перевод слова The World Peace Congress — Всемирный конгресс сторонников мира medical congress — съезд врачей an annual congress — ежегодный съезд Congress authorized the project. Конгресс одобрил проект. Congress has the power to declare war. Конгресс имеет право объявлять войну. Congress is expected to pass the bill. Ожидается, что конгресс утвердит ... Читать далее...
5. Retiring From a JobMeredith: Are you going to Stanley’s Retirement party? Oscar: Sure, I want a Glimpse of the future. I can’t wait To retire. Meredith: It’ll be a long time before you get the Golden handshake. Me? I may be ready for Early retirement. Oscar: Are you seriously thinking about taking the early retirement Package the company ... Читать далее...
6. Pick a starting salaryReaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked the young MBA fresh out of MIT, «And what starting salary were you looking for?» The candidate said, «In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.» The HR Person said, «Well, what would you say to a package of ... Читать далее...
7. Перевод слова retirementRetirement — отставка, выход в отставку или на пенсию Перевод слова Retirement age — пенсионный возраст disability retirement — уход на пенсию по инвалидности a retirement from political life — отход от политической деятельности retirement fund — пенсионный фонд retirement home — дом престарелых We wish you a long and happy Retirement. Мы желаем вам ... Читать далее...
8. Reaching the end of a job interviewReaching the end of a job interview, the human resources person asked a young engineer fresh out of MIT, «And what starting salary were you looking for?» The engineer said, «In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.» The interviewer said, «Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks ... Читать далее...
9. At the Russian War College, the general is a guest lecturerAt the Russian War College, the general is a guest lecturer and tells the class of officers that the session will focus on potential problems and the resulting strategies. One of the officers in the class begins by asking the first question, «Will we have to fight a World War Three?» «Yes, comrades, looks like ... Читать далее...
10. There was a boy who worked in the produce section of the marketThere was a boy who worked in the produce section of the market. One day, a man came in and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce, but the man replied that he did not need a whole head, but only a ... Читать далее...
11. A blonde goes for a job interviewA blonde goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer decides to start with the basics. ‘So, Miss, can you tell us your age, please?’ The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for about 30 seconds before replying, ‘Ehhhh.. 22!’ The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice. ‘And can you ... Читать далее...
12. Military work rules1. Sickness: No excuses will be acceptable. We will no longer accept the Medical Officer’s statement as proof of illness as we believe that if you are able to go on sick parade, you are able to come to work. 2. Leave of Absence for an Operation: We are no longer allowing this practice. We ... Читать далее...
13. Значение идиомы foot[foot] See: AT ONE’S FEET, COLD FEET, DEAD ON ONE’S FEET, DRAGONE’S FEET, FROM HEAD TO FOOT, GET OFF ON THE WRONG FOOT, GET ONE’SFEET WET, HAND AND FOOT, KEEP ONE’S FEET, KNOCK OFF ONE’S FEET, LANDON ONE’S FEET, LET GRASS GROW UNDER ONE’S FEET, ONE FOOT IN THE GRAVE, ON FOOT, ON ONE’S FEET, ... Читать далее...
14. Значение идиомы bottom[bottom] See: BET ONE’S BOOTS or BET ONE’S BOTTOM DOLLAR, FROM THE BOTTOM OF ONE’S HEART, FROM — TO —, GET TO THE BOTTOM OF, HIT BOTTOM or TOUCH BOTTOM, ROCK BOTTOM, SCRAPE THE BOTTOM OF THE BARREL....
15. Перевод слова measureMeasure — мера, размер, измерение Перевод слова Measure of concordance — мера соответствия to measure the depth of a shelf — измерить глубину полки preventive measure — предупредительная мера quantity under measure — измеряемая величина The room Measures 6×6 metres. Комната размером 6 на 6 метров. He loved her beyond Measure. Он любил ее без ... Читать далее...
16. Three guys enter a disabled swimming contestThree guys enter a disabled swimming contest. The first has no arms. The second no legs and the third has no body, just a head. They all line up, the whistle blows and «splash» they’re all in the pool. The guy with no arms takes the lead instantly but the guy with no legs is ... Читать далее...
17. This guy was driving down the highwayThis guy was driving down the highway and was pulled over by the cops. The cop asked the man for his name and the guy replied, «Earl.» «You got a last name, Earl?» «Nope. It’s a long story, Officer.» «I got time.» Earl sighs and says, «Well, Officer, at first I was known as Earl ... Читать далее...
18. The answer to the eternal questionA man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over. The officer handed him the citation, received his signature and was about to walk away when ... Читать далее...
19. Charged for speedingA man was speeding down a Alabama highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over. The officer handed him the citation, received his signature and was about to walk away ... Читать далее...
20. Retire Aged Personell EarlyTO ALL MCCCD EMPLOYEES FROM GOVERNING BORED DATE 22 APR 1986 1. As a result of the HAYZE mismanagement study, we must drastically cut most salaries and reduce our number of personnel. Under this plan, older employees will go on early retirement, thus permitting management to focus its abuse on younger employees who represent our ... Читать далее...
21. A girl called the police department and reported thatA girl called the police department and reported that she had been assaulted. The officer who answered the phone, asked, «When did this happen?» She replied, «Last week.» The police then asked, «Why did you wait until now to report it?» Well,» she said. «I didn’t know that I was assaulted until the check bounced.»...
22. Touring WashingtonA blonde was visiting Washington, DC for the first time. She wanted to see the Capitol building. Unfortunately, she couldn’t find it, so she asked a police officer for directions, «Excuse me, officer, how do I get to the Capitol building?» The officer replied, «Wait here at this bus stop for the number 54 bus. ... Читать далее...
23. A policeman was patrolling near midnightA policeman was patrolling near midnight at a local parking spot overlooking a golf course. He drove by a car and saw a couple inside with the dome light on. Inside there was a young man in the driver’s seat reading a computer magazine and a young lady in the back seat calmly knitting. He ... Читать далее...
24. Перевод слова bottomBottom — низ, дно Перевод слова Bottom shelf — нижняя полка bottom fish — донная рыба bottom door — трап, люк It’s on the Bottom shelf. Это на нижней полке. The pants flare at the Bottom. Брюки книзу расширяются. He tripped on the Bottom step. Он споткнулся о нижнюю ступеньку....
25. They are stopped by the policeJohn & Jessica were on their way home from the bar one night and John got pulled over by the police. The officer told John that he was stopped because his tail light was burned out. John said, «I’m very sorry officer, I didn’t realize it was out, I’ll get it fixed right away.» Just ... Читать далее...
26. Collection 15If you were a swine, you would be what you are now! You say that you are always bright and early. Well, OK!! We know you are early. A half-wit gave you a piece of his mind, and you held on to it. You’re nobody’s fool. Let’s see if we can get someone to adopt ... Читать далее...
27. The general went to the doctor for a physicalThe general went to the doctor for a physical. Before he began, the doctor asked him the standard questions — age, height, weight, and then he asked when was the last time the general had sex. ‘Oh,’ he mused, ‘It was 1945.’ ‘Isn’t that a long time to go without sex?’ the doctor asked. ‘I ... Читать далее...
28. Значение идиомы in the clouds[in the clouds] {adj. phr.} Far from real life; in dreams; infancy; in thought. When Alice agreed to marry Jim, Jim went home inthe clouds. — Often used with «head», «mind», «thoughts». Mary islooking out the window, not at the chalkboard; her head is in theclouds again. A good teacher should have his head in ... Читать далее...
29. An old lady lived by herself in a small houseAn old lady lived by herself in a small house in a small town. One day she went to the local grocery store and while she was gone a criminal broke into her house, took her clothes off of the line, smashed the watermellons in her garden, shaved her cat and then left when he ... Читать далее...
30. Перевод слова officerOfficer — офицер, чиновник, должностное лицо Перевод слова Assistant officer — помощник должностного лица customs officer — таможенный чиновник non-combatant officer — офицер запаса flying control officer — диспетчер полетов The police Officer was directing traffic. Полицейский регулировал движение транспорта. No Officer was touched. Ни один офицер не был ранен. He is an Officer of ... Читать далее...
31. Значение идиомы beyond measure[beyond measure] {adj.} or {adv. phr.}, {formal} So much that it can not be measured or figured without any limits. With her parents reunited and present at her graduation, she had happiness beyond measure. No one envied him for he was popular beyond measure....
32. Trust a fellow officerA defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial — it went like this: Q: Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene? A: No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away. Q: Officer, who provided this description? A: The officer ... Читать далее...
33. Перевод слова medicalMedical — медицинский, врачебный Перевод слова Medical dictionary — медицинский словарь medical facilities — медицинские учреждения medical malpractice — медицинская небрежность He was retired on Medical grounds. Его отправили в отставку по состоянию здоровья. Diseases unwritten in Medical books. Болезни, незафиксированные в медицинских книгах. Before the Medical exam, you must fast. Перед медосмотром вы должны ... Читать далее...
34. Значение идиомы head and shoulders[head and shoulders] {adv. phr.} 1. By the measure of the head andshoulders. The basketball player is head and shoulders taller thanthe other boys. 2. By far; by a great deal; very much. She is headand shoulders above the rest of the class in singing. See: FAR ANDAWAY....
35. One day a teacher was teaching religionOne day a teacher was teaching religion, when she asked the class «What part of your body do you think goes up to heaven first?» Two children rose their hand. One was little Johnny. Hesitant to pick on him she chose little Mary. «I think your heart goes first because, that’s were your emotions of ... Читать далее...
36. The woman is on fireA lady was filling her tank at a gas station, smoking a cigarette, even though all the signs say not to. The fumes that came out of the gas tank ignited, severely burning her hands. But it also lit up her arm, too! Instead of rolling on the ground to put it out, she panicked. ... Читать далее...
37. The Higher Organs of Power in the USABy the US Constitution the government of the nation is entrusted to three separate authorities: the Executive, the Legislative and the Judicial. The executive power is vested in the President, who holds his office during the term of four years, and is elected together with the Vice-President. Among the duties and powers of the President ... Читать далее...
38. Значение идиомы hit bottom[hit bottom] or [touch bottom] {v. phr.}, {informal} 1. To be atthe very lowest. In August there was a big supply of corn and theprice hit bottom. When Johnny failed the exam his spirits hitbottom. 2. To live through the worst; not to be able to go any lower. After all their troubles, they thought ... Читать далее...
39. Polygamy andA child at a Christian school was studying the early days of Mormonism in his class. He wrote on his paper, «The early Mormons believed in having more than one wife. This is called polygamy. But we believe in having only one wife. This is called monotony»...
40. Значение идиомы take one’s measure[take one’s measure] or [take the measure of] {v. phr.} To judgethe character, quality, or nature of; try to guess about something — how hard or easy, dangerous or safe, good or bad, etc. The boxerssparred for a while taking each other’s measure. John took themeasure of the cliff before he climbed it. Compare: SIZE ... Читать далее...