The owner of a small crossroads store in South Carolina

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1. Cops: Would-be robbers nabbed after restaurant owner says ‘come back’, and they do Two men made it easy for authorities to catch them after they tried to hold up a West Rogers Park restaurant using a squirt gun but were told by the owner to return in an hour, officials said. When Mario Garcia, 39, and Domingo Garcia-Hernandez, 28, went back to the restaurant on the 6400 block […]...
2. Перевод слова owner Owner – владелец, собственник Перевод слова Joint owner – совладелец right owner – законный владелец the owner of a car – владелец автомобиля I met the Owner of the local hotel. Я встретил владельца местного отеля. The Owner’s mark was on all the sheep. Клеймо владельца стояло на всех овцах. The Owner is having to […]...
3. A manager of a restaurant had called its owner A manager of a restaurant had called its owner to ask about whether or not she should hire a new waitress. “She can speak twelve different languages, which will be good for foreign visitors,” said the manager. “All right, so hire her,” the owner replied.”But, sir…” “I knew there would be a but. What’s wrong […]...
4. An artist asked the gallery owner An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time. “I have good news and bad news,” the owner replied. “The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told […]...
5. Lilly – The Hero Pit Bull That Saved Her Owner From An Oncoming Freight Train A dog’s loyalty to humans is truly unique and quite often awe inspiring. Take this story of an incident that took place back in 2012. A Pit Bull named Lilly risked her life to pull her unconscious owner from the path of an oncoming freight train. Lilly saved her owner, Christine Spain from certain death. […]...
6. Перевод слова inquire Inquire – спрашивать, осведомляться Перевод слова To inquire what a person wants – узнать, что человек хочет did he inquire for me? – он меня спрашивал? inquire after health – осведомиться о здоровье “So, what do you want?” he Inquired. “Итак, что же вы хотите?” – спросил он. We Inquired the way to the station. […]...
7. I wrote it! There was this guy walking down the road when he noticed a night club ahead. He went in, went up to the bar and asked for a drink. The bar owner, who was tending bar, said, “I’ve never seen you in her before.” The guy says, “Yes, I’m not from around here. I’m just passing […]...
8. Mike Mooney, a Yankee was driving through the south Mike Mooney, a Yankee was driving through the south when he decided he wanted to buy a pig. He stopped at a pig farm and told the farmer he wanted to buy a 100 pound pig. The farmer nodded, walked out into the sty, bent over and picked up a pig by its tail with […]...
9. Junk mail Two teachers at my high school started a practical joke war that culminated in a junk mail war of huge proportions. They finally called a truce and got it cleared up and the mail stopped, EXCEPT for the military mail that one had signed the other one up for. He wrote (honestly) that he had […]...
10. Working in the garden A prisioner in jail received a letter from his wife: “I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?” The prisioner, knowing that the prison guards read all the mail, replied in a letter: “Dear Wife, whatever you do, DO NOT touch the back garden! […]...
11. Buying Tools at a Hardware Store Chuck: Just remember that we have a lot to accomplish today, so let’s just get what we need and go, okay? Ayaka: Sure, we just need a few tools for our DIY project. The Power tools are over there. Chuck: Whoa, we’re not getting power tools. We just need a few simple Hand tools: a […]...
12. Buying Tools at a Hardware Store Chuck: Just remember that we have a lot to accomplish today, so let’s just get what we need and go, okay? Ayaka: Sure, we just need a few tools for our DIY project. The Power tools are over there. Chuck: Whoa, we’re not getting power tools. We just need a few simple Hand tools: a […]...
13. A guy walks into a pet store wanting a parrot A guy walks into a pet store wanting a parrot. The store clerk shows him two beautiful ones out on the floor. “This one’s $5,000 and the other is $10,000.” the clerk said. “Wow! What does the $5,000 one do?” “This parrot can sing every aria Mozart ever wrote.” “And the other?” said the customer. […]...
14. The South Takes a Cue from Oakland Everyone is familiar with the plan to teach Ebonics in such leftist enclaves as California and Massachusetts. “Ebonics,” a neologism created by combining “Ebony” and “phonics,” is supposed to be the language of the untermenschen, the urban underclass. Here in the South, we have a similar movement, called “Bubbonics!” Created from mixing “Bubba” and “phonics,” […]...
15. Перевод идиомы junk mail, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: junk mail Перевод: назойливая почта, обычно рекламного характера; почта для мусорной корзины Пример: On her mail box she wrote a sign: “No junk mail!” На своем почтовом ящике она написала: «Никакой рекламы!»....
16. I have a magical dancing duck A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some wheeling and dealing, they […]...
17. A dancing duck A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some wheelin’ and dealin’ they […]...
18. Перевод слова mail Mail – почта, посылать по почте Перевод слова To deliver mail – доставлять почту to deliver by air mail – доставлять авиапочтой by mail – по почте express mail – экспресс-почта She Mailed the package to me. Она послала мне посылку. You’ve Got Mail. Вам письмо. The order came by Mail. Заказ пришел по почте. […]...
19. Our next targets Now that Uday & Qusay have been eliminated, a lot of the lesser-known Hussein family members are coming to the attention of American authorities. Among the brothers: —————— Sooflay…………………..the restauranteur Guday……………………. the half-Australian brother Huray……………………. the sports fanatic Bejay……………………..the gay brother Kuntay & Kintay…………….the twins from the African mother Sayhay…………………….the baseball player Ojay………………………the stalker / […]...
20. Harming a Professional Reputation Alex: Good morning. What’s with the Gloom and doom? Paige: Have you seen this morning’s newspaper? Alex: No, I haven’t. Paige: You’d better read this. It’s an article about our company. Alex: Let me see that. This is Outrageous! How can anybody print such lies? We’re not On the verge of going under. How did […]...
21. A woman walks into a pet store A woman walks into a pet store wanting to buy a pet for her husband, but she finds all the pets are so so expensive. The woman says to the clerk at the counter, “I’m looking to buy a pet for my husband but I’m on a very short budget!.” “No worries,” replies the clerk. […]...
22. Bargaining With Store Owners Connie: You speak McQuillanese. Ask the store owner the price of this Vase. Ivan: All right. He says it’s $60. Connie: That’s actually a great price, but let’s see if I can Talk him down a little. You should never accept the Starting price and the prices in these stores are all Negotiable. Ask him […]...
23. Practical Joke A couple was planning on getting married. Seeing how they didn’t have much money to go on a honeymoon, they decided tojust go back to their new apartment after the wedding. The groom had three close friends, that were prone to committing practical jokes. One being a carpenter, the other a ordinary guy, and the […]...
24. Getting and Making Threats Ruth: I’m really glad you’re getting so much support from the public. Look at all of these bags of Fan mail. Carl: Only about half of that is fan mail. The rest is Hate mail. Ruth: Hate mail? Who would send you hate mail? Carl: Lots of people. People who are Disgruntled write to me […]...
25. Marriage quotes 06 I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me. – Dick Martin I do not see the EEC as a great love affair. It is more like nine desperate middle-ages couples with failing marriages meeting at […]...
26. Perfect customer A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a midwest town he planned to visit on his vacation. He wrote, “I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with […]...
27. Martin Luther King Martin Luther King was a clergyman and one of the most prominent members of the civil rights movement. He was born of January 15, 1929. He became famous in the 19500 and 1960-es through opposition to racial segregation in the USA. King promoted non-violent methods of opposition such as boycotts or sit-ins. In 1963 he […]...
28. Star of the South The Star of the South, also known as Estrela do Sul, is a diamond found in Brazil in July 1853. The diamond is cut into a cushion shape and weighs 128.48 carats (25.696 g). The Star of the South is graded as a type IIa diamond, with a colour grading of fancy light pinkish-brown and […]...
29. Биография Мартина Лютера Кинга на английском языке. Biography of Martin Luther King Martin Luther King was a clergyman and one of the most prominent members of the civil rights movement in the 20th century. He was born on January 15, 1929. He became famous in the 1950 and 1960’s through opposition to racial segregation in the United States of America. King promoted non-violent methods of opposition such […]...
30. Two attorneys went into a diner Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat. The owner became quite concerned and marched over and told them, “You can’t eat your own sandwiches in here!” The attorneys looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and then exchanged sandwiches....
31. A man and his date walk into a very posh Rodeo Drive A man and his date walk into a very posh Rodeo Drive furrier after having eaten a very expensive lunch at one of Beverly Hills most exclusive restaurants. “Show the lady your finest mink!” the fellow exclaims. So the owner of the shop goes in back and comes out with an absolutely gorgeous full-length coat. […]...
32. Going to a Home Improvement Store Paige: I think we can get everything we need To fix up the house in one trip. What do you think? Vern: We can try. It seems like everybody had the same thought when they woke up this morning: Go to the Home improvement store! Paige: Yeah, it’s a little crowded, but I still think […]...
33. An American tourist is visiting China An American tourist is visiting China. After visiting all the tourist attractions he decides to inquire about the people and askes his guide: “How large is the population here?” “Around 1.5 billion” – the guide answers American, After a short pause: “So, what else do you do here?”...
34. Touring South America A tourist is traveling with a guide through one of the thickest jungles in South America, when he comes across an ancient Mayan temple. The tourist is entranced by the temple, and asks the guide for details. To this, the guide states that archaeologists are carrying out excavations, and still finding great treasures. The tourist […]...
35. Going to a Home Improvement Store Paige: I think we can get everything we need To fix up the house in one trip. What do you think? Vern: We can try. It seems like everybody had the same thought when they woke up this morning: Go to the Home improvement store! Paige: Yeah, it’s a little crowded, but I still think […]...
36. George Costanza’s Tips for Working Hard IV Voice Mail. Never answer your phone if you have voice mail. People don’t call you just because they want to give you something for nothing – they call because they want YOU to do work for THEM. That’s no way to live. Screen all your calls through voice mail. If somebody leaves a voice mail […]...
37. Bying a horse This guy owns a horse stud farm, and gets a call from a friend “I know this midget with a speech impediment who wants to buy a horse, I’m sending him over.” The midget arrives, and the owner asks if he wants a male or female horse. “A female horth,” the midget replies. So the […]...
38. Значение идиомы short [short] See: CAUGHT SHORT, FALL SHORT, FOR SHORT, IN BRIEF or INSHORT, IN SHORT ORDER, IN SHORT SUPPLY, MAKE SHORT WORK OF, RUN SHORT, SELL SHORT, THE LONG AND THE SHORT....
39. Lawyers on a jury A trial had been scheduled in a small town, but the court clerk had forgotten to call in a jury panel. Rather than adjourning what he thought was an exceptionally simple case, the judge ordered his bailiff to go through the courthouse and round up enough people to form a jury. The bailiff returned with […]...
40. Guns in a garden An aging man lived alone in Ireland. His only son was in Long Kesh Prison and he didn’t know anyone who would spade up his potato garden. The old man wrote to his son about it and received this reply. “For Heavens SAKES, don’t dig up that garden, that’s where I buried the GUNS!!! At […]...