The new Vicar was up early one Sunday morning

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1. After church on Sunday morning, a young boy After church on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, “Mom, I’ve decided I’m going to be a minister when I grow up. “That’s okay with us,” the mother said, “But what made you decide to be a minister?” “Well,” the boy replied, “I’ll have to go to church on Sunday anyway, […]...
2. One Sunday morning the pastor noticed little Johnny One Sunday morning the pastor noticed little Johnny was standing staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. The young man of seven had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up and stood beside him and gazing up at the plaque he said […]...
3. A man sat quietly reading his morning paper A man sat quietly reading his morning paper one Sunday morning. Suddenly, he is knocked almost senseless by his wife, who stands behind him holding a frying pan in hand. Man: “What was that for?” Wife: “Why do you have a piece of paper in your pocket with “Daisy” written on it?” Man: “Oh honey, […]...
4. Перевод слова Sunday Sunday – Воскресенье Перевод слова To stay over until Sunday – остаться до воскресенья of a Sunday – по воскресеньям Sunday school – воскресная школа We like to walk every Sunday. Нам нравится гулять каждое воскресенье. My birthday falls on Sunday. Мой день рождения попадает на воскресенье. Brian had an MRI taken Sunday. Брайану сделали […]...
5. Пословица / поговорка early to bed, early to rise – перевод и значение, пример использования Пословица / поговорка: early to bed, early to rise Перевод: кто рано ложится, тот и рано встает Пример: The man believed that early to bed, early to rise was good for him and he always went to bed at 9:30 every night. Этот человек полагал, что рано ложиться и рано вставать было полезно для него, […]...
6. Перевод слова early Early – рано, ранний Перевод слова Early morning – раннее утро early fruit – скороспелка, скороспелый сорт in the early 20th century – в начале XX века They must have come home Early. Они должны были прийти домой пораньше. I knew I had to get up Early. Я знал, что мне придется встать рано утром. […]...
7. Значение идиомы early bird catches the worm [early bird catches the worm] or [early bird gets the worm] Aperson who gets up early in the morning has the best chance ofsucceeding; if you arrive early or are quicker, you get ahead ofothers. – A proverb. When Billy’s father woke him up for school hesaid, “The early bird catches the worm.” Charles began […]...
8. One balmy evening in Rome the Pope decides to One balmy evening in Rome the Pope decides to take a walk. He slips out the rear door of the Vatican and is walking through the back alleys of Rome when he sees a ten-year-old boy smoking a cigarette. The Pope gently says to him, “Young man, you’re much too young to smoke!” The kid […]...
9. Пословица / поговорка early to bed, early to rise makes one healthy, wealthy and wise – перевод и значение, пример использования Пословица / поговорка: early to bed, early to rise makes one healthy, wealthy and wise Перевод: кто рано ложится и рано встает, здоровье, богатство и ум наживет Пример: Early to bed, early to rise makes one healthy, wealthy and wise was the advice that my grandmother gave me. Моя бабушка дала мне совет: “кто рано […]...
10. Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn’t do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went […]...
11. One Sunday, the pope REALLY wanted to play golf One Sunday, the pope REALLY wanted to play golf. But he couldn’t, since it was Sunday. But he figured, well, it’s ok if i just play a little bit. So he changed clothes and went out into the green. Up in heaven an angel saw him and reported it to Jesus. However, Jesus didn’t do […]...
12. Перевод слова morning Morning – утро Перевод слова In the morning – утром on the morning of the first of June – утром первого июня late morning – позднее утро from morning to night – с утра до вечера Good Morning! Доброе утро! He lay in bed all Morning. Он лежал в постели все утро. It was two […]...
13. A fellow decides to take off early from work A fellow decides to take off early from work and go drinking. He stays until the bar closes at 2am, at which time he is extremely drunk. When he enters his house, he doesn’t want to wake anyone, so he takes off his shoes and starts tip-toeing up the stairs. Half-way up the stairs, he […]...
14. A man gets home early from work A man gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting. “What’s up?” he says. “I’m having a heart attack,” cries the woman. He rushes downstairs to grab the phone for ambulance, but just as he’s dialing, […]...
15. A carpet-layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady A carpet-layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he’d lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump. “No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes,” he said to himself. He proceeded to get […]...
16. A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he’d lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump. “No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes,” he said to himself. He proceeded to […]...
17. Перевод идиомы early bird, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: early bird Перевод: ранняя пташка; кто-либо, кто встает рано Пример: My sister is an early bird and gets up very early every morning. Моя сестра – ранняя пташка, каждое утро она встает очень рано....
18. Перевод идиомы bright and early, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: bright and early Перевод: очень рано, с утра пораньше, ни свет ни заря Пример: The woman likes to get up bright and early every morning. Ей нравится вставать ни свет ни заря каждое утро....
19. Early withdrawals The husband was furious when he found out the checking account was empty. When he confronted his wife, she simply said, “It’s my turn.” “What do you mean, your turn?” yelled the husband. “In bed,” she explained, “you’ve been making early withdrawals for years. Now, it’s my turn.”...
20. Перевод идиомы the small hours (of the night / morning) / the wee hours (of the night / morning), значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: the small hours (of the night / morning) / the wee hours (of the night / morning) Перевод: рассвет или время перед рассветом; часы после полуночи Пример: My father likes to read the newspaper in the small hours of the night. Моему отцу нравится читать газеты по ночам....
21. Being an Early or Late Riser Spiro: Hey, Watch out! Nancy: Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t see you there. I thought I would be the only person Up at the crack of dawn. What are you doing sitting on the Stoop at this Ungodly hour? Spiro: I’m trying To turn over a new leaf. Nancy: What do you mean? Spiro: I’m […]...
22. Значение идиомы morning after [morning after] {n.}, {slang} The effects of drinking liquor orstaying up late as felt the next morning; a hangover. One of thetroubles of drinking too much liquor is the morning after. Mr. Smith woke up with a big headache and knew it was the morning after....
23. Three guys were talking one morning about how drunk they were Three guys were talking one morning about how drunk they were at this party they were at the night before. 1st guy: Man, I was so drunk that last night I got home and blew chunks. 2nd guy: Oh yeah? Well, I was so drunk that on the way home I was pulled over and […]...
24. A story with a moral While they were taking up the collection, John leaned forward and said, “Hey, Marie, how about you and me go to dinner next Friday?” “Why Yes, John, that would be nice,” said Marie. Well, John couldn’t believe his luck. All week long he polished up his car, and on Friday he picked up Marie and […]...
25. Значение идиомы bright and early [bright and early] {adj. phr.} Prompt and alert; on time and ready; cheerful and on time or before time. He came down bright and early to breakfast. She arrived bright and early for the appointment....
26. Where are my pyjamas? A man calls his wife and says to her, “Honey, I just got the chance of a lifetime to go on a week-long fishing trip with my boss. Could you pack up my things so that they will be ready when I get home?” “Sure, honey,” his wife answers.”Oh, and could you please pack my […]...
27. Saving the situation After attending a party for his boss, the life of the party was nursing a king-size hangover and asked his wife, “What the hell happened?” “As usual, you made an ass of yourself in front of your boss,” replied the wife. “Piss on him,” answered the husband. “You did,” said the wife, “and he fired […]...
28. A pastor in Maine skipped services one Sunday A pastor in Maine skipped services one Sunday to go bear hunting. Along the trail he turned a corner and collided with a bear. the pastor stumbled, backwards, slipped off the trail, and began tumbling down the mountain, the bear in hot pursuit. Finally the pastor crashed into a bolder, breaking both his legs and […]...
29. Пословица / поговорка the early bird catches the worm – перевод и значение, пример использования Пословица / поговорка: the early bird catches the worm Перевод: ранняя птичка носок прочищает, поздняя глаза продирает Эквивалент в русском языке: кто рано встает, того удача ждет Пример: My boss always comes to work early because he believes that the early bird catches the worm. Мой начальник всегда приходит на работу рано, потому что он […]...
30. Перевод идиомы wee hours (of the night / morning), значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: wee hours (of the night / morning) Перевод: часы, следующие непосредственно после полуночи; предрассветные часы Пример: I read my book into the wee hours of the morning. Я читал книгу до рассвета....
31. Silent treatment A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and […]...
32. Steve, Bob and Jeff are working on a very high scaffolding Steve, Bob and Jeff are working on a very high scaffolding. Suddenly, Steve falls off. He is killed instantaneously. After the ambulance leaves with Steve’s body, Bob and Jeff realize they’ll have to inform his wife. Bob says he’s good at this sort of sensitive stuff, so he volunteers to do the job. After two […]...
33. Retire Aged Personell Early TO ALL MCCCD EMPLOYEES FROM GOVERNING BORED DATE 22 APR 1986 1. As a result of the HAYZE mismanagement study, we must drastically cut most salaries and reduce our number of personnel. Under this plan, older employees will go on early retirement, thus permitting management to focus its abuse on younger employees who represent our […]...
34. Man and a Policeman A man defecates on London Bridge. A policeman comes to him and says: – Sir but you are not allowed to do that in this place. -Fuck yuo! -Sir, but the Law? -I fuck your The Law! -Sir, but The Qeen? -I fuck your Queen! -Indeed? -In bed! -Sorry Your Majesty....
35. While out one morning in the park, a jogger found a brand new While out one morning in the park, a jogger found a brand new tennis ball. Seeing no one around that it might belong to, he slipped it into the pocket of his shorts. Later, on his way home, he stopped at the pedestrian crossing, waiting for the lights to change. A girl standing next to […]...
36. The Mortitian arrived at the Mortuary one morning The Mortitian arrived at the Mortuary one morning and was aproached by his assistant. “Anything interesting happen over-night”, asked the mortitian. “Yes”, replied the assistant, “The most gorgeous 18 year-old blond came in last night. Dead of course” “What was the cause of death”, enquired the mortition. “I’m not sure”,replied the assistant. “But she’s got […]...
37. All of a sudden, the wife smacks her husband All of a sudden, the wife smacks her husband. The husband was totally dumfounded and asks, “What was that for?” Wife said, “Because, you are a bad fuck”. Couple of minutes later, the husband smacks his wife. This time, the wife was confused and asked, “And may I ask what’s that about?” Husband said, ” […]...
38. On Christmas morning a cop on horseback On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his shiny new bike. The cop says to the kid, “Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?” The kid says, “Yeah.” The cop says, “Well, next year tell Santa to […]...
39. Перевод слова pack Pack – пакет, упаковка, упаковывать, заполнять Перевод слова Jumbo pack – огромный пакет king-size pack – упаковка большего размера pack of jackals – стая шакалов I’ll go home and Pack. Я пойду домой и уложу вещи. Fans Packed the stadium. Фанаты заполнили стадион. I hid my money in my Pack. Я спрятал деньги в своем […]...
40. Some people are sitting in a bar Some people are sitting in a bar when one guy says, “My name is Larry, and I am a SNAG.” Another guy says, “What’s that?” The first guy says, “That means I am a Single, New Age Guy.” Another one says, “My name is Gary, and I am a DINK. A girl asks, “What’s that?” […]...