The new metro cop pulled a speeder who was

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1. Time for the wedding A police officer stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. “But officer,” the man began, “I can explain.” “Just be quiet,” snapped the officer. “I’m going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back.” “But, officer, I just wanted to say,” “And I said to keep quiet! You’re […]...
2. Too much speeding A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. “But, officer,” the man began, “I can explain” “Just be quiet,” snapped the officer. “I’m going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back.” “But, officer, I just wanted to say” “And I said […]...
3. Chief is at a wedding A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. “But officer,” the man began, “I can explain.” “Just be quiet,” snapped the officer. “I’m going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back.” “But, officer, I just wanted to say,” “And I said […]...
4. Метро/ Metro На английском языке Перевод на русский язык Metro Метро In my opinion the best way to move around the city is metro. Metro trains are speedy and comfortable. Most of the time, they are not overloaded, however during the rush hours it gets rather stuffy. Some people call metro the underground and it is easy […]...
5. Перевод слова prisoner Prisoner – заключенный, узник Перевод слова Prisoner of conscience – узник совести political prisoner – политический заключенный to redeem prisoner – освобождать заключенного Our pilot was taken Prisoner. Наш летчик был взят в плен. Blindfold the Prisoner! Завязать глаза узнику! Prisoner has done a guy. Заключенный сбежал....
6. A state trooper pulled a car over A state trooper pulled a car over and told the man driving that he was going 50 mph in a 40 mph zone. “I was only going 40!” the driver protested. “Not according to my radar,” the trooper said. “Yes, I was!” the man shouted back. “No you weren’t!” the trooper said. With that, the […]...
7. A police officer came upon a terrible wreck A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passenger had been killed. As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car. The officer looked down at the monkey and said “I wish you could talk.” The monkey looked up at […]...
8. Now he’s in trouble A police officer had just pulled a car over. When he walked up to the car a man rolled down the window and said, “what’s the problem officer?” To which the policeman responded, “I stopped you for running that red light behind you.” Just then the man’s wife leaned forward from the driver’s seat and […]...
9. Перевод слова trap Trap – ловушка, капкан, западня Перевод слова To set a booby trap – поставить ловушку police trap – полицейская западня tank trap – противотанковая ловушка He fell right into the Trap. Он упал прямо в западню. There’s no way out! We’re Trapped! Здесь нет выхода! Мы в ловушке! Amanda felt that marriage was a Trap. […]...
10. A driver pulled up beside a rundown farmhouse A driver pulled up beside a rundown farmhouse. He got out and knocked at the door. A very old woman answered the door, and he asked her for directions to Des Moines. “Don’t know,” the woman said. He got back in his car and pulled away. Then he heard voices. He looked in his rearview […]...
11. Giving sad news to a troop The Captain called the Sergeant in. “Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private Jones’ mother died yesterday. Better go tell him and send him in to see me.” So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the troops. “Listen up, men,” says the Sergeant. “Johnson, report to the mess hall […]...
12. The answer to the eternal question A man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over. The officer handed him the citation, received his signature and was about to walk away when […]...
13. Charged for speeding A man was speeding down a Alabama highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over. The officer handed him the citation, received his signature and was about to walk away […]...
14. A policeman was patrolling near midnight A policeman was patrolling near midnight at a local parking spot overlooking a golf course. He drove by a car and saw a couple inside with the dome light on. Inside there was a young man in the driver’s seat reading a computer magazine and a young lady in the back seat calmly knitting. He […]...
15. Driver pays 1 million RMB for ‘lucky’ 88888 license plate, gets pulled over 8 times in one day After spending just 30,000 RMB ($4,370) on his new vehicle, a driver surnamed Liu decided to splurge on his license plate, spending 1 million RMB ($145,705) on one with 5 lucky number 8s, hoping it would keep him out of trouble on the road. It totally backfired on him. On his first day behind the […]...
16. Army fitness report British Military Officer Fitness Reports The British Military writes OFR’s (officer fitness reports). The form used for Royal Navy and Marines fitness reports is the S206. The following are actual excerpts taken from people’s “206’s”…. – His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity. – I would not breed from this Officer. […]...
17. NPR Pulled a Brilliant April Fools’ Prank On People Who Don’t Read “Why doesn’t America read anymore?” NPR asked on Tuesday. “We totally do, NPR. Shut up. We read all the time. We’re reading your article right now!” Facebook commenters screeched. But they didn’t read the article. If they had, they would’ve seen this: Eventually, some commenters began to catch on and spoil the joke, but the […]...
18. British Military Officer Fitness Reports The British Military writes OFR’s (officer fitness reports). The form used for Royal Navy and Marines fitness reports is the S206. The following are actual excerpts taken from people’s “206’s”…. – His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity. – I would not breed from this Officer. – This Officer is really […]...
19. Перевод слова wedding Wedding – свадьба Перевод слова Church wedding – венчание members of the wedding – гости на свадьбе penny wedding – свадьба, устраиваемая гостями в складчину When is the Wedding to be? Когда будет свадьба? It’s a video of our Wedding. Это видео нашей свадьбы. He suddenly appeared at the Wedding. Он появился на свадьбе неожиданно....
20. Значение идиомы hell [hell] See: COME HELL OR HIGH WATER, GO THROUGH HELL AND HIGHWATER, HELL-ON-WHEELS, LIKE HELL, TO HELL WITH, UNTIL HELL FREEZESOVER, WHEN HELL FREEZES OVER....
21. They are stopped by the police John & Jessica were on their way home from the bar one night and John got pulled over by the police. The officer told John that he was stopped because his tail light was burned out. John said, “I’m very sorry officer, I didn’t realize it was out, I’ll get it fixed right away.” Just […]...
22. Перевод слова mood Mood – настроение Перевод слова To wake up in a bla mood – проснуться в плохом настроении a buoyant mood – жизнерадостное расположение духа to lighten one’s mood – улучшать настроение Why had her Mood changed so dramatically? Почему ее настроение изменилось так резко? My boyfriend is still in a Mood. Мой парень все еще […]...
23. Значение идиомы shut up [shut up] {v.} 1. {informal} To stop talking. Little Ruthie toldFather about his birthday surprise before Mother could shut her up. -Often used as a command; usually considered rude. Shut up and letJoe say something. If you’ll shut up for a minute, I’ll tell youour plan. Syn.: BUTTON YOUR LIP, DRY UP, KEEP ONE’S MOUTH […]...
24. Gates gets punishment Bill Gates suddenly dies and finds himself face to face with God. God stood over Bill Gates and said, “Well Bill, I’m really confused on this one. It’s a tough decision; I’m not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you helped society enormously by putting a computer in almost every […]...
25. Перевод слова shut Shut – закрывать, затворять, закрытый Перевод слова To keep one’s mouth shut – держать язык за зубами to shut the lid – захлопнуть крышку to shut the door on proposals – решительно отвергнуть предложения to shut a passage – перекрыть проход He Shut his eyes and went to sleep. Он закрыл глаза и заснул. He […]...
26. Capitalist and Socialist Hell A young, ruthless executive died and went to hell. When he got there, he saw one sign that said Capitalist Hell, and another that said Socialist Hell. In front of the Socialist Hell was an incredibly long line, while there was no-one in front of the Capitalist Hell. So the executive asked the guard, “What […]...
27. How the creators of Airplane! pulled off one of the funniest jokes we’ve ever heard Holy hell! This is one of the funniest stories we’ve heard in a long time. Ask yourself, “how far are you willing to go for a joke?” Once you’ve determined that, realize that David Zucker is willing to take it even further. First some background. David Zucker and his brother Jerry Zucker are part of […]...
28. Перевод слова lucky Lucky – счастливый, удачливый Перевод слова To count oneself lucky – считать себя счастливым lucky dog – счастливец by a lucky accident – по счастливой случайности lucky streak – полоса везения, удач I count myself Lucky to know you. Я считаю, что мне повезло познакомиться с вами. It’s Lucky that we got here early. Как […]...
29. Blonde on blonde A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde. The cop asked to see the blonde’s driver’s license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. “What does it look like?” she finally […]...
30. Перевод слова officer Officer – офицер, чиновник, должностное лицо Перевод слова Assistant officer – помощник должностного лица customs officer – таможенный чиновник non-combatant officer – офицер запаса flying control officer – диспетчер полетов The police Officer was directing traffic. Полицейский регулировал движение транспорта. No Officer was touched. Ни один офицер не был ранен. He is an Officer of […]...
31. A guy was pulled over by a cop A guy was pulled over by a cop. The cop says to the guy you’re eyes are bloodshot have you been drinking. The guy says tothe cop you’re eyes are glazed have you been eating donuts Sent by paul...
32. A huge guy marries a tiny girl, and at the wedding A huge guy marries a tiny girl, and at the wedding, one of his friends says to him, “How the hell do the two of you have sex?” The big guy says, “I just sit there, naked, on a chair, she sits on top, and I bob her up and down.” His friend says, “You […]...
33. Значение идиомы a hell of [a hell of] a [or one hell of a] {adj. or adv. phr.}, {informal} Extraordinary; very. He made a hell of a shot during the basketball game. Max said seven months was a hell of a time to have to wait for a simple visa. The fall Max took left one hell of a bruise […]...
34. Перевод слова hell Hell – ад, преисподня; черт (ругательство) Перевод слова To make smb.’s life a hell – превратить чью-л. жизнь в ад to suffer through hell – переносить муки ада oh hell! – черт возьми! hell of a way – чертовски далеко Who the Hell are you? Кто ты такой, черт побери? To Hell with the flaming […]...
35. Fred Dingaling A local law enforcement officer stops a car for traveling faster than the posted speed limit. Since he’s in a good mood that day he decides to give the poor fellow a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. So, he asks the man his name. “Fred,” he replies. “Fred what?” […]...
36. Traditions A man and a woman got married, and he told her : ” since you are my wife you should respect my traditions and habits…and i have 3 traditions. So, first tradition: On wednesdays i play football with my friends…no matter what..whether it snows or it rains…i dont care..i play football!! -Is it clear for […]...
37. Значение идиомы shut off [shut off] {v.} 1. To make stop coming. Please shut off the hose before the grass gets toowet. Compare: TURN OFF. 2. To be apart; be separated from; also toseparate from. Our camp is so far from the highway we feel shut offfrom the world when we are there. The sow is so bad tempered […]...
38. A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer wants to ask her a few questions…. Officer: What’s 2+2? Blonde: Ummmmm… 4! Officer: What’s the square root of 100? Blonde: Ummmm… 10! Officer: Good! Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln? Blonde: Ummmm… I dunno. Officer: Well, you can go home and think […]...
39. Nothing changed On the eve of the couple’s tenth wedding anniversary, the still slim wife was bragging about her figure. “You know honey,” she said, “I can still get into the skirts I had before we were married.” “Yeah?” the husband replied as he turned his attention back to the ball game on TV. “I wish to […]...
40. Test for being drunk A police officer pulls over this guy who had been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy’s window and says, “Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube.” The man says, “Sorry officer I can’t do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that I’ll have […]...