The Italian colonel had his brigade arrayed in full parade

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1. A British Army colonel was reviewing the troops in colonial India A British Army colonel was reviewing the troops in colonial India. One man he passed sported an enormous erection. “Sergeant-Major!” the colonel shouted.”Give this man 30 days compassionate home leave.” “Yessir,” the Sgt. Major replied. A few months later the same thing occurred with the same man. “Sergeant-Major! Give this man another 30 days compassionate […]...
2. The Colonel’s Order A COLONEL ISSUED THE FOLLOWING DIRECTIVE TO HIS EXECUTIVE OFFICERS: “Tomorrow evening at approximately 2000 hours Halley’s Comet will be visible in this area; an event which occurs only every 75 years. Have the men fall out in the battalion area in fatigues, and I will explain this rare phenomenon to them. In case of […]...
3. Перевод слова Italian Italian – итальянский; итальянец, итальянка Перевод слова Appetence for the Italian art – приверженность итальянскому искусству Italian roof – архит. покатая крыша the Italians – итальянцы He prefers shoes of Italian derivation. Он предпочитает туфли итальянского производства. Miss pronounces Italian very Americanly. Мисс произносит итальянские слова слишком по-американски. It is his Italian accent that distinguishes […]...
4. The Frenchman and the Italian The Frenchman and the Italian were in the woods hunting together when suddenly a voluptuous blonde girl raced across their path, totally nude. “Would I love to eat that? Oui, oui!” the Frenchman said, smacking his lips. So the Italian shot her....
5. Перевод идиомы full of hot air / full of beans / full of bull / full of it / full of prunes, значение выражения и пример использования Идиома: full of hot air / full of beans / full of bull / full of it / full of prunes Перевод: нести чепуху, быть болтуном Пример: I knew that the man was full of hot air when he began to tell us how to make lots of money. Я так и знал, что этот […]...
6. Two friends, an Italian boy and a Jewish boy Two friends, an Italian boy and a Jewish boy, come of age at the same time. The Italian boy’s father presents him with a new pistol. On the other side of town, at his bar Mitzvah, the Jewish boy receives a beautiful gold watch. The next day at school, the two boys are showing each […]...
7. A Frenchman and an Italian were seated next to an American A Frenchman and an Italian were seated next to an American on an overseas flight. After a few cocktails, the men began discussing their home lives. “Last night I made love to my wife four times,” the Frenchman bragged, “and this morning she made me delicious crepes and she told me how much she adored […]...
8. An old italian couple is walking around in the mall An old italian couple is walking around in the mall. After a while they get separated so the woman goes up to the first saleswoman she sees and ask: “Escusa me, have you senn-a me Tony. He’s got a big-a belly and a-lots of curly black hair?” The saleswoman answers that she hasn’t seen her […]...
9. Using an Online Email Program Luigi: What do you think of this new Email program? Selma: I don’t know yet. I just started using it. The Interface is pretty Intuitive, but I haven’t figured out how To sort my Inbox by date. Luigi: That’s easy. Let me show you. All you have to do is hit one of these buttons […]...
10. A Russian, an Italian and an Irishman got out of work A Russian, an Italian and an Irishman got out of work and were deciding where to go for a drink. The Irishman said “Let’s all go to O’Learys. With every third round, the bartender will give each of us a free Guiness.” The Italian said “That sounds good, but if we go to Baldini’s with […]...
11. A bus stops and two Italian men get on A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but she listens in horror as one of the men says the following: “Emma come first. Den I come. Two asses, dey come together. I come again. Two […]...
12. What’s the difference between an Italian mother and a Jewish mother? What’s the difference between an Italian mother and a Jewish mother? An Italian mother says, “If you don’t eat it, I’ll kill you.” A Jewish mother says, “If you don’t eat it, I’ll kill myself.”...
13. A drill instructor at Airborne school was A drill instructor at Airborne school was lecturing a group of new troops on making a proper jump. He told them: “When I yell Stand Up, you Stand Up. When I yell hook up, you hook up. When you go out the door, yell ‘Geronimo!’ and wait for your shoot to open. Got It? Good, […]...
14. Italian teenagers get €500 ‘culture bonus’ From November 3rd, every Italian teen celebrating their 18th birthday before December 31st 2016 can claim €500 from the government, to spend on cultural items. Every Italian resident from the class of 1998 – a total of 574,000 – can claim their ‘culture bonus’, which they can use to buy books, concert tickets, theatre tickets, […]...
15. Значение идиомы parade rest [parade rest] {n.} A position in which soldiers stand still, withfeet apart and hands behind their backs. The marines were at paraderest in front of the officials’ platform. Compare: AT EASE....
16. Two Italian construction workers Two Italian construction workers were in the field on an extremely hot day working.. the one says to the other “hey how come we do all a da work and he gets all a da money?” pointing to the supervisor. The other says, “I don’t know, go ask him.” So Guido goes up to the […]...
17. Перевод слова troops Troops – войска Перевод слова Additional troops – дополнительные войска front line troops – войска на линии фронта to lead troops against the enemy – вести войска против врага The Troops invaded at dawn. Войска вторглись на рассвете. Troops were put on high alert. Войска были приведены в состояние повышенной боеготовности. Our Troops attacked the […]...
18. Значение идиомы make a stand [make a stand] {v. phr.} 1. To take a firm position on an issue. He keeps talking about politics hut he never makes a stand for whathe believes in. 2. To take up a defensive position against the enemy. The retreating troops decided to make a stand by the river. Contrast: LAST DITCH, LAST STAND....
19. Значение идиомы raise a stink [raise a stink] {v. phr.} To cause a disturbance; complain; proteststrongly. Quite a stink was raised in the office when the bossdiscovered that several employees had left early....
20. Shortly after being assigned to a new base, a Lieutenant Shortly after being assigned to a new base, a Lieutenant and his wife were invited to the Colonel’s home for an evening of bridge. The Lieutenant was partnered with the Colonel’s wife and vice versa. After many hands, the Lieutenant excused himself to use the toilet, but accidentally left the door ajar. When the sound […]...
21. A dog for a wife It was a dark, stormy, night. The Marine was on his first assignment, and it was guard duty. A General stepped out taking his dog for a walk. The nervous young Private snapped to attention, made a perfect salute, and snapped out “Sir, Good Evening, Sir!” The General, out for some relaxation, returned the salute […]...
22. Значение идиомы full of oneself [full of oneself] {adj. phr.}, {informal} Interested only inyourself. Joe would be a nice boy if he would stop being so full ofhimself. Compare: BIG HEAD....
23. Who invented sex A Greek and Italian were sitting down one day debating who had the superior culture. The Greek says, “We have the Parthenon” The Italian says, “We have the Colosseum” The Greek says “We had great Mathematicians” The Italian says “We had the Roman Empire” …and so on and so on and then the Greek says: […]...
24. During training exercises, the lieutenant driving down During training exercises, the lieutenant driving down a muddy back road encountered another car stuck in the mud with a red faced colonel at the wheel. “Your jeep stuck, sir?” asked the lieutenant as he pulled alongside. “Nope,” replied the colonel, coming over and handing him the keys, “*Yours* is.”...
25. Clinton at the parade The May Day parade in Moscow is the largest, most important military parade of the year. For 1992’s parade, Yeltsin and Gorbachev invited Bill Clinton to come watch it with them. The parade commenced with a battalion of tanks, followed by a division of infantry, followed by armored personnel carriers and mobile artillery. They had […]...
26. Значение идиомы stand pat [stand pat] {v.}, {informal} To be satisfied with things and beagainst a change. Bill had made up his mind on the question andwhen his friends tried to change his mind, he stood pat. Compare:STAND ONE’S GROUND....
27. Значение идиомы come full circle [come full circle] {v. phr.}, {informal} 1. To become totally opposed to one’s own earlier conviction on a given subject. Today’s conservative business person has come full circle from former radical student days. 2. To change and develop, only to end up where one started. From modern permissiveness, ideas about child raising have come full […]...
28. Значение идиомы give ground [give ground] {v. phr.} To go backward under attack; move back;retreat. After fighting for a while the troops slowly began to giveground. Although they were outnumbered by the enemy, the menrefused to give ground. Compare: DRAW BACK, DROP BACK, LOSE GROUND. Contrast: HOLD ONE’S GROUND, STAND OFF, STAND ONE’S GROUND, STAND PAT, STAVE OFF....
29. A woman strode angrily into the large A woman strode angrily into the large drug-store-cum-general-store, slapped a package on the counter, and loudly expressed her dissatisfaction. The clerk asked, “What’s the problem? Wouldn’t your cat eat them?” The woman’s eyes got very large, and she whispered, “Do you mean to tell me that Pussy Treats are meant for ‘cats’?”...
30. So the new conductor addresses the orchestra So the new conductor addresses the orchestra. He tells them that things are going to change, that everyone will be expected to be on time and that they will work for many long hours. The timpanist, expressing his displeasure at the turn of events, belts out on the drums BOOM-BOOM – BOOM-BOOM. The conductor, whirling […]...
31. The blind date had not been all that great and The blind date hadn’t been all that great and she was relieved the evening was finally over. At her apartment door, he suddenly said “Hey! You wanna see my underwear?” Before she could respond, he had dropped his pants, right there in the hall, revealing that he wasn’t wearing any. She glanced down and said, […]...
32. The handsome American strode into a department store in Paris The handsome American strode into a department store in Paris, France, and headed straight for the lingerie counter. He intently studied the array of lacy underthings and the sales lady bustled over to him. “Do you have something in mind?” she asked. “I certainly do, ma’am,” the American emphatically replied. “That’s why I want a […]...
33. Перевод слова parade Parade – парад, выставление напоказ Перевод слова To make a parade of one’s accomplishments – щеголять своими достоинствами to parade the streets – шествовать по улицам parade ground – площадка для парадов The festivities will commence with a Parade. Торжества начнутся с парада. Morning parade was in progress on the Parade ground. На плацу было […]...
34. Значение идиомы hit parade [hit parade] {n.} 1. A list of songs or tunes arranged in order ofpopularity. Tom was overjoyed when his new song was named on thehit parade on the local radio station. 2. {slang} A list of favoritesin order of popularity. Jack is no longer number one on Elsie’s hitparade....
35. Someone really stinks A young couple were on their honeymoon. The husband was sitting in the bathroom on the edge of the bathtub saying to himself, “Now how can I tell my wife that I’ve got really smelly feet and that my socks absolutely stink? I’ve managed to keep it from her while we were dating, but she’s […]...
36. Basic Military Commands Marta: What’s going on out here? What’s all that noise? Bruno: I’m putting the Troops through their Drills. Marta: Troops?! Bruno: Watch this. Hey, I didn’t tell you you could be At ease. Attention! Fall in. Forward, march! Marta: That’s great, but. . . Bruno: I’m not done. Let me show you what else these […]...
37. Перевод слова general General – общий, повсеместный, главный Перевод слова General meeting – общее собрание as a general rule – обычно, как правило general opinion – общее мнение The practice threatens to become General. Этот обычай грозит стать всеобщим. There was a General disposition to remain. Большинство хотело остаться. In General people like her. Обычно она людям нравится....
38. Shopping for Underwear Kerry: We’re almost done with the shopping. We just need some Underwear for you and some Unmentionables for me. Russell: It’s perfectly acceptable for women to buy men’s underwear, but do I have to go into the Lingerie store? All of the women in the store laugh at me. Kerry: No, they don’t. I just […]...
39. Shopping for Underwear Kerry: We’re almost done with the shopping. We just need some Underwear for you and some Unmentionables for me. Russell: It’s perfectly acceptable for women to buy men’s underwear, but do I have to go into the Lingerie store? All of the women in the store laugh at me. Kerry: No, they don’t. I just […]...
40. Перевод сленгового выражения stink to high heaven, значение и пример использования Сленговое выражение: stink to high heaven Перевод: быть отвратительным или быть очень низкого качества Пример: That barnyard stinks to high heaven. Этот скотный двор воняет на несколько километров. Most Sylvester Stallone movies stink to high heaven – they’re just terrible! Большинство фильмов Сильвестра Сталлоне очень низкого качества – они просто ужасные!...