The dog and the butcher

Related topics:

1. A dog walks into a butcher shopA dog walks into a butcher shop with a purse strapped around his neck. He walks up to the meat case and calmly sits there until it’s his turn to be waited on. A man, who was already in the butcher shop, finished his purchase and noticed the dog. The butcher leaned over the counter ... Читать далее...
2. Buying Meat from a ButcherButcher: Good morning. What can I get for you? Samantha: I’d like some Lamb chops, Pork chops, and some Beef, but I’m not sure which Cuts I want yet. Butcher: You’ve come to the right Butcher shop. Everything here is Fresh. Everything comes straight from the Slaughterhouse. Samantha: Um, I’m glad to hear that. Butcher: ... Читать далее...
3. At the Butcher’sButcher: What can I get for you? Gina: I’d like a pound of Ground beef, please. Butcher: Would you like the regular or the extra Lean? The extra lean is a dollar more per pound. Gina: I’ll take the regular. Could you also Throw in two thick Pork chops and two Chicken breasts? Butcher: I’m ... Читать далее...
4. At the Butcher’sButcher: What can I get for you? Gina: I’d like a pound of Ground beef, please. Butcher: Would you like the regular or the extra Lean? The extra lean is a dollar more per pound. Gina: I’ll take the regular. Could you also Throw in two thick Pork chops and two Chicken breasts? Butcher: I’m ... Читать далее...
5. Arnold and his wife were cleaning out the attic one dayArnold and his wife were cleaning out the attic one day when he came across a ticket from the local shoe repair shop. The date stamped on the ticket showed that it was over eleven years old. They both laughed and tried to remember which of them might have forgotten to pick up a pair ... Читать далее...
6. World of shopping. Как не пойти за хлебом в Butcher’s. Разговорник по теме Магазины и ПокупкиСнимаем стресс прогулкой по магазинам и не забываем правильные названия отделов с различными товарами: от духов до булочек. Наша shopping подборка вооружит вас самыми распространенными фразами и понятиями. Что может сказать покупатель I’m just browsing |ˈbraʊzɪŋ|, thanks. — Я просто присматриваюсь, спасибо. Window — витрина/ How much is that dress in the window? — Сколько ... Читать далее...
7. A man walks into a jewellers shopA man walks into a jewellers shop, unzips his trousers and places his tool upon the counter. The lady serving says: «I’m sorry Sir, this is a clock shop not a cock shop.» «Well, put two hands and a face on this.» replies the man....
8. An old man was critically illAn old man was critically ill. Feeling that death was near, he called his lawyer. «I want to become a lawyer. How much is it or the express degree you told me about?» «It’s $50,000,» the lawyer said. «But why? You’ll be dead soon, why do you want to become a lawyer?» «That’s my business! ... Читать далее...
9. A guy was driving down the road in his YugoA guy was driving down the road in his Yugo during a thunder storm, when his windshield wiper broke. He drives until he comes to an auto body shop. He goes into the shop, walks up to the counter and says, «Excuse me, but could you give me a windshield wiper for my Yugo?» The ... Читать далее...
10. Free meatIt was many years ago since the embarrassing day when a young woman, with a baby in her arms, entered his butcher shop and confronted him with the news that the baby was his and asked what was he going to do about it? Finally he offered to provide her with free meat until the ... Читать далее...
11. Перевод слова neighbourNeighbour — сосед Перевод слова Chatty neighbour — разговорчивый сосед to communicate with one’s neighbour — общаться с соседом good-neighbour policy — политика добрососедства England’s nearest Neighbour is France Франция — ближайший сосед Англии She was carrying on with a Neighbour. Она флиртовала с соседом. One of the Neighbors complained about the noise from the ... Читать далее...
12. Sidney has a problem with premature ejaculationSidney has a problem with premature ejaculation, so he pays a visit to a sex shop for a remedy. The clerk hands him a little purple can and says, «This is Stay-Hard spray… put on a little and you can go all night!» Excited, Sidney takes it home, stashes it in the cellar on a ... Читать далее...
13. This is one smart dogA butcher is leaning on the counter toward the close of day when a dog with a basket in its jaws comes pushing through the door. «An’ wot’s this then?» he asked. The dog knocks the basket sharply into the butcher’s shins. «You dumb dog.» As he reaches down to smack the dog, he notices ... Читать далее...
14. Question and answerQ: How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung? A: You can’t get a finger between the rope and his neck! Q: If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do? A: ... Читать далее...
15. Communication problemThere was this Asian lady married to an American gentleman and they lived in Honolulu. The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but managed to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries. One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy pork legs. ... Читать далее...
16. Перевод слова counterCounter — конторка, прилавок; счетчик Перевод слова To clear counter — сбрасывать счетчик counter counts up — счетчик работает на сложение check-out counter — контрольно-кассовый пункт A shopman was at the Counter. За прилавком стоял продавец. Goods are sold and money paid over the Counter. Товары продаются и оплачиваются у прилавка. «Good morning,» said the ... Читать далее...
17. Перевод слова roastRoast — жариться, жарить Перевод слова To roast the concentrate — обжигать концентрат to roast coffee beans — жарить кофейные зерна pot roast — тушеное мясо The meat was Roasting in the oven. В духовке жарилось мясо. We ate Roast beef like dragons. Мы с жадностью набросились на жаркое. The chicken is Roasting in the ... Читать далее...
18. Значение идиомы wiener roast[wiener roast] or [hot dog roast] {n.} A party where frankfurtersare cooked and eaten over an outdoor fire. For his birthday party, John had a wiener roast in his backyard. Mary’s Girl Scout troophad a hot dog roast on their overnight hike....
19. The talking dogA man tried to sell his neighbour a new dog. «This is a talking dog,» he said. «And you can have him for five dollars.» The neighbour said, «Who do you think you’re kidding with this talking dog stuff? There ain’t no such animal.» Suddenly the dog looked up with tears in his eyes. «Please ... Читать далее...
20. What will communism be like when perfected?Little Boy: What will communism be like when perfected? His Father: Everyone will have what he needs. LB: But what if there is a shortage of meat? HF: There will be a sign in the butcher shop saying, «No one needs meat today.»...
21. The cost of a brainA man went to a brain store to get some brain to complete a study. He sees a sign remarking on the quality of professional brain offerred at this particular brain store. He begins to question the butcher about the cost of these brains. «How much does it cost for engineer brain?» «Three dollars an ... Читать далее...
22. Man needs a turkeyIt’s the day before Thanksgiving, and the butcher is just locking up when a man begins pounding on the front door. «Please let me in,» says the man desperately. «I forgot to buy a turkey, and my wife will kill me if I don’t come home with one.» «Okay,» says the butcher. «Let me see ... Читать далее...
23. It seems that Abe and Morey, two salesmen for an advertising agencyIt seems that Abe and Morey, two salesmen for an advertising agency, were traveling together through the midwest, when they were caught between towns during a driving snow storm. The further they went, the worse conditions got, and they finally slid off into a ditch. Fortunately there was a house quite nearby. They waded through ... Читать далее...
24. Значение идиомы under the counter[under the counter] {adv. phr.}, {informal} Secretly. That book has been banned, but there is one place you canget it under the counter. The liquor dealer was arrested forselling beer under the counter to teenagers. — Also used like anadjective, with hyphens. During World War II, some stores keptscarce things hidden for under-the-counter-sales to good ... Читать далее...
25. Very fair paymentAn elderly and somewhat hard-of-hearing man was sitting in a stylish downtown attorney’s office as his lawyer handed him his will. «Your estate is very complex,» said the lawyer, «but I’ve made sure that all of your wishes will be executed. Due to the complexity, my fee is $4500.» Just then, the phone rang and ... Читать далее...
26. Перевод слова lawyerLawyer — адвокат, юрист Перевод слова A lawyer by profession — юрист по профессии lawyer’s clients — клиенты адвоката lawyer practice, practice of law — юридическая практика You should see a Lawyer. Вы должны увидеться с адвокатом. You should talk to a Lawyer. Вам следует проконсультироваться с юристом. I got a letter from my Lawyer. ... Читать далее...
27. Last minute requestsA man woke up in a hospital bed and called for his doctor. He asked, «Give it to me straight. How long have I got?» The physician replied that he doubted that the man would survive the night. The man then said, «Call for my lawyer.» When the lawyer arrived, the man asked for his ... Читать далее...
28. A teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly GatesRecently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question. St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, «What was the name of the ship that crashed into the iceberg? They ... Читать далее...
29. Qualifying for HeavenRecently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question. St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, «What was the name of the ship that crashed into the iceberg? They ... Читать далее...
30. A lawyer passed on and found himself in HeavenA lawyer passed on and found himself in Heaven, but not at all happy with his accommodations. He complained to St. Peter, who told him that his only recourse was to appeal his assignment. The lawyer immediately advised that he intended to appeal, but was then told that he would be waiting at least three ... Читать далее...
31. A man walked into a lawyer’s office andA man walked into a lawyer’s office and inquired about the rates. «Fifty dollars for three questions,» replied the lawyer. «Isn’t that awfully steep?» asked the man. «Yes,» the lawyer replied, «and what was your third question?»...
32. Stay over one nightA hindu priest, rabbi and a lawyer were driving down the road, when the car breaks down. Fortunately finding a farmhouse nearby, the farmer informed them that he had only one spare room, and that it had only two twin beds. They were welcome to it, but one of them had to sleep in the ... Читать далее...
33. The other day my house caught fireThe other day my house caught fire. The insurance agent said, «Shouldn’t be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have?» I said, «Fire and theft.» Insurance agent frowned. «Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.» Apparently, the only way I can make a claim with this coverage is if the house ... Читать далее...
34. Humor about Ireland 2Barty and Dunny met in a pub and discussed the illness of a friend named Hogan. «Poor Micheal Hogan! Faith, I’m afraid he’s goin’ to die.» «Shure, an’ why would he be dyin’?» asked the other. «Ah, he’s gotten so thin. You’re thin enough, and I’m thin — but by my soul, Micheal Hogan is ... Читать далее...
35. A local United Way office realized thatA local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the town’s most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. «Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn’t you like ... Читать далее...
36. A supermarket had a sale on boneless chicken breastsA supermarket had a sale on boneless chicken breasts, and a woman I know intended to stock up. At the store, however, she was disappointed to find only a few skimpy prepackaged portions of the poultry, so she complained to the butcher. «don’t worry, ya,» he said. «I’ll pack some more trays and have them ... Читать далее...
37. A young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopersA young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopers. He went though the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher and higher structures, and finally went to take his first jump from an airplane. The next day, he called home to his father to tell him the news. «So, did you ... Читать далее...
38. Перевод слова shopShop — магазин, лавка, буфет; ходить по магазинам Перевод слова Close up a shop — закрыть магазин coffee shop hours — время работы кафе to keep a shop — иметь магазин She works in a Shop. Она работает в магазине. It’s not available in the Shops. Этого нет в магазинах. Many people now Shop online. ... Читать далее...
39. Ultra dumb people 02A man walked in to a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Shop, and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him. In Ohio, an unidentified man in his ... Читать далее...
40. A guy walks into a post officeA guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing «Love» stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes ... Читать далее...