The Army Airborne major was used to harassment

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1. A young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopersA young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopers. He went though the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher and higher structures, and finally went to take his first jump from an airplane. The next day, he called home to his father to tell him the news. «So, did you ... Читать далее...
2. There is a guy from ARMY driving from West Point to the MeadowlandsThere’s a guy from ARMY driving from West Point to the Meadowlands, a guy from the NAVY was driving from Annapolis to the Meadowlands, and an Air Force guy who’s driving from McGwire in South Jerz to the Meadowlands just to watch the Jets. In the middle of the night with no other cars on ... Читать далее...
3. PianoQ: What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A: A flat minor. Q: What do you get if you run over an army officer with a steam roller? A: A flat major. Q: What do you say to an army officer as you’re about to run him or her ... Читать далее...
4. Значение идиомы sexual harassment[sexual harassment] {n. phr.} The act of constantly making unwantedadvances of a sexual nature for which the offended party may seeklegal redress. The court fined Wilbur Catwallender $750,000 forsexual harassment of two of his female employees....
5. A drill instructor at Airborne school wasA drill instructor at Airborne school was lecturing a group of new troops on making a proper jump. He told them: «When I yell Stand Up, you Stand Up. When I yell hook up, you hook up. When you go out the door, yell ‘Geronimo!’ and wait for your shoot to open. Got It? Good, ... Читать далее...
6. A British Army colonel was reviewing the troops in colonial IndiaA British Army colonel was reviewing the troops in colonial India. One man he passed sported an enormous erection. «Sergeant-Major!» the colonel shouted.»Give this man 30 days compassionate home leave.» «Yessir,» the Sgt. Major replied. A few months later the same thing occurred with the same man. «Sergeant-Major! Give this man another 30 days compassionate ... Читать далее...
7. Перевод слова majorMajor — главный, важный; мажор; майор Перевод слова Major question — главный вопрос major drawback — основной недостаток major road — главная дорога major chord — мажорный аккорд She is Majoring in linguistics. Ее специализация — лингвистика. A captain is below a Major. Капитан по званию ниже, чем майор. Our car needs a Major overhaul. ... Читать далее...
8. A marine general, an army general and a navy admiralA marine general, an army general and a navy admiral were discussing who had the toughest men. The army general says, «Alright, I’ll prove the army has the toughest men in the country. Private, get over here!» The private reports as ordered, «Yes sir?» The general says, «See that man over there? Kill him!» Without ... Читать далее...
9. Перевод слова armyArmy — армия Перевод слова Army brass — командующий армией to organize an army — создать армию to raise an army — собрать армию I was an Army brat. Я была армия, брат. The Army was disranked. Армия была дезорганизована. The Army surged forward Армия рванулась вперед. Интересные факты In the Army Now — семнадцатый ... Читать далее...
10. During an Army war gameDuring an Army war game, a commanding officer’s jeep got stuck in the mud. The C. O. saw some men lounging around nearby and asked them to help him get unstuck. «Sorry sir,» said one of the loafers, «but we’ve been classified dead and the umpire said we couldn’t contribute in any way.» The C. ... Читать далее...
11. THE SEXUAL HARASSMENT CONSENT FORMName:______________________________ SOCIAL SECURITY No:____________________ ADDRESS:___________________________ CITY:__________________________________ STAFF ELEMENT:_____________________ HOME PHONE No.:________________________ MALE:___________ FEMALE:___________ OFFICE PHONE No.:______________________ SEXUAL PREFERENCE: Male — Female Female — Female Male — Male All of the Above None of the Above — Please Specify: _____________________ I CONSENT TO THE FOLLOWING FORMS OF SEXUAL HARRASSMENT: Salutatory Greeting: _____________________ Eye-to-Eye Contact: ______________________ Eye-to-Bust ... Читать далее...
12. Army fitness reportBritish Military Officer Fitness Reports The British Military writes OFR’s (officer fitness reports). The form used for Royal Navy and Marines fitness reports is the S206. The following are actual excerpts taken from people’s «206’s»…. — His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity. — I would not breed from this Officer. ... Читать далее...
13. There was this hooker who mistook a Salvation Army man forThere was this hooker who mistook a Salvation Army man for a soldier and propositioned him. The Salvation Army gent said, «Ma’am, you may be forgiven, as a pitiable victim of circumstances. Tell me, are you familiar with the concept of ‘original sin’?» The hooker replied, «Well, maybe and maybe not. But if it’s «really» ... Читать далее...
14. An army private went to see the Medical Captain for a newAn army private went to see the Medical Captain for a new pair of glasses. The Captain looked in his book of record and said, «But you just got a new pair last month!» «Yes sir, b.. b.. but I got them b..broken in an accident,» stammered the private. «Accident, what kind of an accident?» ... Читать далее...
15. Army needs new recruitsTop Ways The Army Is Trying To Boost Recruiting 8. Military transport flights now earn you Delta frequent flier miles 7. Where else can you shoot guns and get awakened in the middle of the night by loud explosions besides New York, Chicago and Detroit? 6. Get rid of all those creepy «Richard Simmons Wants ... Читать далее...
16. How Army policy beganThis is Army policy all begins… Start with a cage containing five apes. In the cage, hang a banana on a string and put stairs under it. Before long, an ape will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the Banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the apes ... Читать далее...
17. Перевод слова aircraftAircraft — самолет, воздушное судно Перевод слова Aircraft armament — вооружение самолета aircraft camera — аэрофотоаппарат, аэрокамера aircraft crew — экипаж самолета The Aircraft was blown to bits. Самолет разорвало в клочья. The Aircraft burst into flames. Самолет вспыхнул. The Aircraft overshot the runway. Самолет приземлился за посадочной полосой. Происхождение слова aircraft Образовано от двух ... Читать далее...
18. Landing at a hidden military baseYou’ve all heard of the Air Force’s ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as «Area 51?» Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their «secret» base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pilot into an interrogation room. The ... Читать далее...
19. Biologist experimentThere was this biologist who was doing some experiments with frogs. He was measuring just how far frogs could jump. So he puts a frog on a line and says «Jump frog, jump!». The frog jumps 2 feet. He writes in his lab book: ‘Frog with 4 legs — jumps 2 feet’. Next he chops ... Читать далее...
20. How Chuko Liang Used A Lute To Single-Handedly Defeat An Army Of 150,000During China’s Three Kingdoms period there was a brilliant general and master strategist of Shu Han named Chuko «Sleeping Dragon» Liang. During the War of the Three Kingdoms, he had sent a majority of his soldiers many miles away before he was alerted that an opposing army of 150,000 was headed towards the small town ... Читать далее...
21. Значение идиомы brass hat[brass hat] {n.}, {slang} 1. A high officer in the army, navy, or air force. The brass hats In Washington often discuss important secrets. 2. Any person who has a high position in business, politics, or other work. Mr. Woods, the rich oil man, is a political brass hat....
22. Major Historical PeriodsLivy: Tell me again why we’re here on a Saturday afternoon. Nicholas: You’re going to love this Museum. It has Artifacts and Exhibits from all the major periods in history, from Prehistoric days to the present. Livy: Hmm, fascinating. Nicholas: It is, isn’t it? We follow thetimeline of human history from one room to the ... Читать далее...
23. Значение идиомы jump on[jump on] or [jump all over] or [land on] or [land all over] {v. phr.}, {informal} To scold; criticize; blame. Tom’s boss jumped allover Tom because he made a careless mistake. Janice landed onRobert for dressing carelessly for their date. «I don’t know whyBill is always jumping on me; I just don’t understand him,» said ... Читать далее...
24. He’s drunk at the barOne night a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible DUI violations. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. The man sat in the front seat fumbling around with his ... Читать далее...
25. Humor relating to IraqThe problem with the Iraqi army is that they were using Russian defense tactics: 1. Engage the enemy. 2. Draw him into your territory. 3. Wait until winter sets in. — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — ... Читать далее...
26. Значение идиомы jumping-off place[jumping-off place] {n. phr.} 1. A place so far away that it seemsto be the end of the world. Columbus’ sailors were afraid theywould arrive at the jumping-off place if they sailed farther west. So you visited Little America? That sounds like the jumping-offplace! 2. The starting place of a long, hard trip or of ... Читать далее...
27. Перевод слова jumpJump — прыгать; скачок, резкое повышение Перевод слова To jump for joy — прыгать от радости to jump into a taxi — вскочить в такси to give a jump — резко подняться, подскочить jump in prices — резкое повышение цен How high can you Jump? Как высоко ты можешь прыгнуть? Don’t Jump the camera. Не ... Читать далее...
28. UPDATE: Another Major U. S. City Has Made It Mandatory For Pet Stores To Only Sell RescuesLawmakers in Beverly Hills are following Phoenix, Arizona’s lead. It is now illegal for pet stores in Beverly Hills to sell dogs and cats that are not from a shelter or rescue. Beverly Hills council member Lili Bosse told the Huffington Post: «I am the biggest animal lover and feel strongly about giving them a ... Читать далее...
29. Перевод слова officerOfficer — офицер, чиновник, должностное лицо Перевод слова Assistant officer — помощник должностного лица customs officer — таможенный чиновник non-combatant officer — офицер запаса flying control officer — диспетчер полетов The police Officer was directing traffic. Полицейский регулировал движение транспорта. No Officer was touched. Ни один офицер не был ранен. He is an Officer of ... Читать далее...
30. The reason for runningA police officer attempts to stop a car for speeding and the guy gradually increases his speed until he’s topping 100 mph. He eventually realizes he can’t escape and finally pulls over. The cop approaches the car and says, «It’s been a long day and my tour is almost over, so if you can give ... Читать далее...
31. Requesting a three day passAn Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass. The CO says «Are you crazy? You just join the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!» So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank! The CO ... Читать далее...
32. One night, a police officer was stalking out a particularly rowdy barOne night, a police officer was stalking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible violations of the driving-under-the — influence laws. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. Then, sat in the front seat ... Читать далее...
33. Blonde on blondeA blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde. The cop asked to see the blonde’s driver’s license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. «What does it look like?» she finally ... Читать далее...
34. Значение идиомы off one’s head[off one’s head] {adj. phr.} Crazy; mad. We had no doubt thatthe old man was off his head when we saw him jumping into the lakewith his winter coat on....
35. A blonde walks into the police department looking for a jobA blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer wants to ask her a few questions…. Officer: What’s 2+2? Blonde: Ummmmm… 4! Officer: What’s the square root of 100? Blonde: Ummmm… 10! Officer: Good! Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln? Blonde: Ummmm… I dunno. Officer: Well, you can go home and think ... Читать далее...
36. Time for the weddingA police officer stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. «But officer,» the man began, «I can explain.» «Just be quiet,» snapped the officer. «I’m going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back.» «But, officer, I just wanted to say,» «And I said to keep quiet! You’re ... Читать далее...
37. Too much speedingA police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. «But, officer,» the man began, «I can explain» «Just be quiet,» snapped the officer. «I’m going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back.» «But, officer, I just wanted to say» «And I said ... Читать далее...
38. Chief is at a weddingA police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. «But officer,» the man began, «I can explain.» «Just be quiet,» snapped the officer. «I’m going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back.» «But, officer, I just wanted to say,» «And I said ... Читать далее...
39. Перевод слова forceForce — сила, мощь; заставлять, принуждать Перевод слова With all one’s force — изо всех сил the force of circumstances — сила обстоятельств to force a confession — вынудить признание to force an entry — ворваться, вломиться Peace cannot be imposed by Force. Мир не может быть навязан силой. In both these two reasons there ... Читать далее...
40. Getting an InterviewI’ve finally Landed my first interview. Well, actually, that’s not really true. I have been on many interviews for Part-time jobs. This was my first interview for a Full-time job. In less than two months, I will graduate from Arizona University. After a lot of Back and forth trying to decide on a Major, I ... Читать далее...