The ages of man

Related topics:

1. One day in the Garden of EdenOne day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God, «Lord, I have a problem!» «What’s the problem, Eve?» «Lord, I know you’ve created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, and that hilarious comedy snake, but I’m just not happy.» «Why is that, Eve?» came the ... Читать далее...
2. Space shuttle mission to the MoonThere’s a Space Shuttle mission to the moon with 2 monkeys and a woman on board. The headquarters in the US calls: «Monkey #1, Monkey #1 report to coms for instructions.» He sits down and he is told to release the pressure in compartment 1, increase the temperature in engine 4 and to release oxygen ... Читать далее...
3. A police officer came upon a terrible wreckA police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passenger had been killed. As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car. The officer looked down at the monkey and said «I wish you could talk.» The monkey looked up at ... Читать далее...
4. Investigating a Terrible AccidentThere was a terrible bus accident. Unfortunately, no one survived the accident except a monkey which was on board and there were no witnesses. The police try to investigate further but they get no results. At last, they try to interrogate the monkey. The monkey seems to respond to their questions with gestures. Seeing that, ... Читать далее...
5. Looking for a monkey wrenchAn old farmer is driving down a country road in his pickup truck when it starts making an awful noise. He stops the truck and crawls underneath to investigate the problem. «Hmmm…muffler’s loose. I bet I could fix that if I had a Monkey Wrench.» He says. He crawls out from underneath the truck and ... Читать далее...
6. Значение идиомы heavy-handed[heavy-handed] {adj.} 1. Not skillful or graceful; clumsy. George is heavy-handed and seldom catches the ball. My sisterplays the piano badly; she is too heavy-handed. Tim told aheavy-handed joke about the principal’s baldness that embarrassedeveryone. 2. Likely to hit or punish hard; harsh or cruel in making obey. Years ago many fathers were heavy-handed bosses ... Читать далее...
7. Reward for goodnessThree men died in a car accident and met Jesus himself at the Pearly Gates. The Lord spoke unto them saying, «I will ask you each a simple question. If you tell the truth I will allow you into heaven, but if you lie….Hell is waiting for you. To the first man the Lord asked, ... Читать далее...
8. Значение идиомы grease monkey[grease monkey] {n., {slang} 1. A person who greases or works onmachinery; a mechanic or worker in a garage or gasoline station. Hey, grease monkey, fill up my gas tank! The grease monkey wasall dirty when he came out from under the car. 2. Airplane mechanic. Jack was a grease monkey in the Air Force....
9. This 60 year old woman was walking along 5th AvenueThis 60 year old woman was walking along 5th Avenue when she heard a voice from above «You will live to be 100.» She looked around and didn’t see anyone. Again she heard «You will live to be 100.» Boy, she thought to herself, that was the voice of God. I’ve got 40 more years ... Читать далее...
10. A business man from New York decided to quit his jobA business man from New York decided to quit his job and buy a 200 acre spread in Montana. One day while out riding his horse, he came across another man on horseback. The man told him he was his next door neighbor and he was having a get-together the coming weekend. He said: I ... Читать далее...
11. Being Chivalrous and ProtectiveWhen I first met Lance, I thought he was the perfect guy. He was a real Gentleman. He opened doors for me and Pulled out my chair in restaurants. He was As chivalrous as they come. But after a while, I realized that he Took chivalry a little too far. … Lance: Let me carry ... Читать далее...
12. People of Different AgesGloria: I’m surprised at the variety of people on this tour. Andy: Oh, yeah? I hadn’t noticed. Gloria: Well, we’ll be spending the next two weeks with these people so I thought I’d get to know some of them. Andy: That’s nice. Gloria: Did you see that thirty-something couple with a Toddler and an Infant? ... Читать далее...
13. Значение идиомы monkey business[monkey business] {n.}, {slang}, {informal} 1. Any unethical, illegitimate, or objectionable activity that is furtive or deceitful, e. g., undercover sexual advances, cheating, misuse of public funds, etc. There is a lot of monkey business going on in that firm; you’dbetter watch out who you deal with! 2. Comical or silly actions;goofing off. Come on ... Читать далее...
14. The ReverendFrancis Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf. So… he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and convinced him to say Mass for him that day. As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, ... Читать далее...
15. Перевод слова monkeyMonkey — обезьяна; вмешиваться, соваться Перевод слова Ring-tailed monkey — обезьяна с закрученным на конце хвостом spider monkey — паукообразная обезьяна stop monkeying with those tools! — оставь в покое эти инструменты Somebody’s been Monkeying with my papers again. Кто-то опять рылся в моих бумагах. The Monkey rattled the bars of his cage. Обезьяна гремела ... Читать далее...
16. Значение идиомы carry coals to Newcastle[carry coals to Newcastle] {v. phr.} To do something unnecessary; bring or furnish something of which there is plenty. The man who waters his grass after a good rain is carrying coals to Newcastle. Joe was carrying coals to Newcastle when he told the doctor how to cure a cold. ....
17. Seymour was a good and pious manSeymour was a good and pious man, and when he passed away, the Lord himself greeted him at the pearly gates of heaven. «Hungry, Seymour?» the Lord asked. «I could eat,» said Seymour. The Lord opened a can of tuna, and they shared it. While eating this humble meal, Seymour looked down into Hell and ... Читать далее...
18. As US tourists in IsraelAs US tourists in Israel, a man and his wife were sitting outside a Bethlehem souvenir shop, waiting for fellow tourists. An Arab salesman approached them carrying belts. After an impassioned sales talk yielded no results, he asked where they were from. «America,» the husband replied. Looking at her dark hair and olive skin, the ... Читать далее...
19. Перевод слова lordLord — господин, повелитель; командовать, помыкать Перевод слова Our sovereign lord the King — король, наш верховный повелитель the House of Lords — палата лордов lord of the manor — владелец поместья he will not be lorded over — он не позволит командовать собой He Lords it over his friends. Он помыкает своими друзьями. Lord ... Читать далее...
20. FliesA woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter. «What are you doing?» She asked. «Hunting Flies» He responded. «Oh. Killing any?» She asked. «Yep, 3 males, 2 Females,» he replied. Intrigued, she asked. «How can you tell?» He responded, «3 were on a beer can, 2 were ... Читать далее...
21. Перевод идиомы monkey business, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: monkey business Перевод: 1. валяние дурака, шутливая выходка; 2. незаконная деятельность, жульничество Пример: The kids were involved in some monkey business when the window was broken. Дети валяли дурака, когда разбилось окно. The company was involved in some monkey business with the tax department and has hired a lawyer to defend themselves. Компания была ... Читать далее...
22. President Carter’s jokeIn an interview with David Letterman, Carter passed along an anecdote of a translation problem in Japan. Carter was speaking at a business lunch in Tokyo, where he decided to open his speech with a brief joke. He told the joke, then waited for the translator to announce the Japanese version. Even though the story ... Читать далее...
23. A game of Animal FootballThe animals were bored. Finally, the lion had an idea. «I know a really exciting game that the humans play called football. I’ve seen it on T. V.» He proceeded to describe it to the rest of the animals and they all got excited about it so they decided to play. They went out to ... Читать далее...
24. Breakfast was my ideaIt was George the Mailman’s last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who roundly and soundly congratulated him and sent him on his ... Читать далее...
25. Change my mindThe church was conducting its annual fund drive. One member of the congregation said, «I give ten dollars.» Just then, a piece of plaster fell from the ceiling and landed on his head. He spoke up again quickly. «I give a thousand dollars!» The minister said, «Lord, hit him again!»...
26. A young lady had just visited her doctorA young lady had just visited her doctor and he informed her that she was pregnant. The young lady had been married for ten years and had wanted a baby very badly. As she sat on the bus, on her way home, she felt that she had to share the good news with someone. The ... Читать далее...
27. Build an ArkThe Lord said to Noah, «In six months, I’m going to make it rain until the earth is covered with water and all the evil is destroyed. I want you to build an ark and save two of each animal species. Here are the blueprints for the ark.» Six months passed. The skies began to ... Читать далее...
28. Why’d the monkey fall outta the tree?Why’d the monkey fall outta the tree? ’cause he was dead… Why’d the other monkey fall outta the tree? ’cause he was dead too… Why’d the third monkey fall outta the tree? Peer pressure…...
29. Значение идиомы monkey on one’s back[monkey on one’s back] {n. phr.}, {informal} An unsolved or naggingproblem. «My math course is a real monkey on my back,» Jackcomplained. Compare: ALBATROSS AROUND ONE’S NECK, MILLSTONE AROUNDONE’S NECK....
30. Watch out!A funeral service is being held in a church for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service, the pall-bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is ... Читать далее...
31. Steve, Bob and Jeff are working on a very high scaffoldingSteve, Bob and Jeff are working on a very high scaffolding. Suddenly, Steve falls off. He is killed instantaneously. After the ambulance leaves with Steve’s body, Bob and Jeff realize they’ll have to inform his wife. Bob says he’s good at this sort of sensitive stuff, so he volunteers to do the job. After two ... Читать далее...
32. Значение идиомы tell off[tell off] {v.} 1. To name or count one by one and give somespecial duty to; give a share to. Five boy scouts were told off toclean the camp. 2. {informal} To speak to angrily or sharply; attackwith words; scold. Mr. Black got angry and told off the boss. Bobby kept pulling Sally’s hair; finally ... Читать далее...
33. George Costanza’s Tips for Working Hard IGeorge Costanza’s Tips for Working Hard I Never walk down the hall without a document in your hands. People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they’re heading for the cafeteria. People with a newspaper in their hand look like they’re ... Читать далее...
34. A dyslexic nurseTwo doctors were in a hospital hallway one day complaining about Nurse Jenny. «She’s incredibly dumb. She does everything absolutely backwards.» said one doctor. «Just last week, I told her to give a patient 2 milligrams of percocet every 10 hours. She gave him 10 milligrams every 2 hours. He nearly died on us!» The ... Читать далее...
35. A prostitute goes to the hospital to visit a colleagueA prostitute goes to the hospital to visit a colleague who is about to have a heart transplant. She’s worried about the friend so she asks the doctor: Girlfriend: I’m worried about my friend doc, what if her body rejects the organ? Doctor: Well she’s 36 years old and healthy. How long has she been ... Читать далее...
36. History of lawyersWhy God Created Lawyers Satan was complaining bitterly to God, «You made the world so that it was not fair, and you made it so that most people would have to struggle every day, fight against their innate wishes and desires, and deal with all sorts of losses, grief, disasters, and catastrophes. Yet people worship ... Читать далее...
37. Now he’s in troubleA police officer had just pulled a car over. When he walked up to the car a man rolled down the window and said, «what’s the problem officer?» To which the policeman responded, «I stopped you for running that red light behind you.» Just then the man’s wife leaned forward from the driver’s seat and ... Читать далее...
38. Перевод слова createCreate — создавать, творить Перевод слова To create a character — создать образ (об актере) to create danger — создавать опасность to create a demand — создавать спрос The company was Created 25 years ago. Компания была создана 25 лет назад. This dish was Created by our chef Jean Richard. Это блюдо было приготовлено нашим ... Читать далее...
39. A Love LetterVicky: What are you working on? Issac: If I tell you, will you Promise not to laugh? Vicky: All right. What is it? Issac: It’s a Love letter to Julie. Vicky: Isn’t it a little Premature? You’ve only been going out for a month. Issac: Maybe, but I really want her to know how I ... Читать далее...
40. Policemen in HeavenSt Peter is standing at heaven’s gate when a man walks up. «Welcome to heaven my son. What did you do with your life?» «I was a policeman,» he responded. «What kind of policeman?» St Peter asked. «I was a vice officer. I kept dangerous narcotics out of the hands of kids.» «Wonderful my son, ... Читать далее...