The 75 year old man and his young, knockout wife

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1. A young wife, her boorish husband and a young good lookingA young wife, her boorish husband and a young good looking sailor were shipwrecked on an island. One morning, the sailor climbed a tall coconut tree and yelled, «Stop making love down there!» «What’s the matter with you?» the husband said when the sailor climbed down. «We weren’t making love.» «Sorry,» said the sailor, «From ... Читать далее...
2. A 54 year old accountant leaves a letter for his wifeA 54 year old accountant leaves a letter for his wife one Friday evening and read’s: Dear Wife (that’s what he called her) I am 54 and by the time you receive this letter I will be at the Grand Hotel with my beautiful and sexy 18 year old secretary. When he arrived at the ... Читать далее...
3. The young wife was in tears when she opened the doorThe young wife was in tears when she opened the door for her husband. «I’ve been insulted,» she sobbed. «Your mother insulted me.» «My mother!» he exclaimed. «But she is a hundred miles away.» «I know, but a letter came for you this morning and I opened it.» He looked stern, «I see, but where ... Читать далее...
4. A wife, arriving home from a shopping trip, was horrified toA wife, arriving home from a shopping trip, was horrified to find her husband in bed with a lovely young woman. Just as the wife was about to storm out of the house, her husband stopped her with these words: Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about. Driving along ... Читать далее...
5. A young blonde woman is distraughtA young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband ... Читать далее...
6. A young mother paying a visit to a doctorA young mother paying a visit to a doctor friend and his wife made no attempt to restrain her five-year-old son, who was ransacking an adjoining room. But finally, an extra loud clatter of bottles did prompt her to say, «I hope, doctor, you don’t mind Johnny being in there.» «No,» said the doctor calmly, ... Читать далее...
7. The guide to wife translationsThe wife says: You want The wife means: You want The wife says: We need The wife means: I want The wife says: It’s your decision The wife means: The correct decision should be obvious The wife says: Do what you want The wife means: You’ll pay for this later The wife says: We need ... Читать далее...
8. Диалог на английском языке с переводом «The mayor’s wife turned her back on her»Hayley Хейли You should have seen what happened at the mayor’s New Year reception yesterday evening. Видела бы ты, что вчера вечером произошло на новогоднем приеме у мэра. Julia Джулия I had to miss it. Tell me what happened. Я никак не могла придти. Расскажи, что случилось. Hayley Хейли Well, Laura Dixon approached the mayor’s ... Читать далее...
9. A blonde was complaining to her friend about constantly beingA blonde was complaining to her friend about constantly being called a dumb blonde. Her friend tells her «go do something to prove them wrong! Why don’t you learn all the state capitals or something?» The blonde thinks this is a great idea, and locks herself up for two weeks studying. The next party she ... Читать далее...
10. This young lady, a flighty young thingThis young lady, a flighty young thing, got a job cleaning the bank windows in the evening after the bank closed for business. Anyway, she was up this ladder, cleaning good and proper and as she was in the habit of wearing no knickers, every young man who would come along would stop and stare ... Читать далее...
11. Перевод идиомы year after year, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: year after year Перевод: много лет, год за годом Пример: We went to the lake year after year until we finally got tired of it. Мы из года в год ходили на озеро, пока, наконец, нам это не надоело....
12. Перевод идиомы year in, year out, значение выражения и пример использованияИдиома: year in, year out Перевод: год за годом, из года в год, много лет подряд, постоянно, всегда Пример: Year in and year out the city had to spend money to fix the old stadium. Из года в год городу приходится тратить деньги на ремонт этого старого стадиона....
13. The young immigrant couple had just left theThe young immigrant couple had just left the courthouse after being sworn in as American citizens. «It is wonderful,» the husband exclaimed. «We are American citizens at last! Do you know what this means to us my dear wife?» «Yes, you male chauvinist pig,» his wife replied. «Tonight, you cook dinner and I get on ... Читать далее...
14. When Joe’s wife ran away with his car, his money andWhen Joe’s wife ran away with his car, his money and his best friend, he got so depressed that his doctor sent him to see a psychiatrist. Joe told the psychiatrist his troubles and said, «Life isn’t worth living. I think I’m gonna top myself.» «Don’t be stupid, Joe,» said the psychiatrist. «My wife ran ... Читать далее...
15. A 70-year-old man has never been marriedA 70-year-old man has never been married. One day he meets a beautiful 17-year-old girl, and it is love at first sight. They get married and go to Florida for their honeymoon. When they get back, his friend says to him, «So, tell me, how was it?» «Oh, it was beautiful,» says the man. «The ... Читать далее...
16. An old retired man goes to his wife one dayAn old retired man goes to his wife one day, and says to her, «I don’t know how to tell you this dear, but the stock market crashed, and I’m afraid we’re broke.» The wife says, «No, we’re not. Let’s go for a drive into town.» Husband replies, «Our savings are all gone and you ... Читать далее...
17. Shopping with My WifeOne thing I Dread more than anything else is going Clothes shopping with my wife. It’s not that I don’t like helping her buy new clothes. It’s just that I have no Fashion sense. My wife always asks me, “What do you think of this one?” and I always answer with something like: “That’s nice” ... Читать далее...
18. Shopping with My WifeOne thing I Dread more than anything else is going Clothes shopping with my wife. It’s not that I don’t like helping her buy new clothes. It’s just that I have no Fashion sense. My wife always asks me, “What do you think of this one?” and I always answer with something like: “That’s nice” ... Читать далее...
19. A man comes home from work and finds his wife admiring her breastsA man comes home from work and finds his wife admiring her breasts in the mirror. He asks, «What are you doing?» She replies, «I went to the doctor today, and he told me I have the breasts of a 25 year old.» The husband retorts, «Well, what did he say about your 50 year ... Читать далее...
20. All of a sudden, the wife smacks her husbandAll of a sudden, the wife smacks her husband. The husband was totally dumfounded and asks, «What was that for?» Wife said, «Because, you are a bad fuck». Couple of minutes later, the husband smacks his wife. This time, the wife was confused and asked, «And may I ask what’s that about?» Husband said, » ... Читать далее...
21. Перевод слова yearYear — год; возраст, годы Перевод слова Fiscal year — бюджетный год calendar year — календарный год to die full of years — умереть в расцвете лет he is twenty years old — ему двадцать лет He looks young for his Years. Он молодо выглядит для своих лет. It’s Years since we last met. Мы ... Читать далее...
22. A young married couple has difficulties conceiving a babyA young married couple has difficulties conceiving a baby, so after a while the wife consults her doctor, who recommends the minor of three possible operations. The operation is performed, but a month later, she’s still not pregnant, so she goes to see the doctor again. This time he recommends the medium operation, a somewhat ... Читать далее...
23. Перевод слова wifeWife — жена Перевод слова To take to wife — взять в жены house-wife — домашняя хозяйка disloyal wife — неверная жена He split with his Wife. Он порвал со своей женой. He met his Wife at work. Он познакомился со своей женой на работе. My Wife never worked. Моя жена никогда не работала. Интересные ... Читать далее...
24. A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring forA guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas. A friend of his said, «I thought she wanted one of those sporty 4-Wheel drive vehicles.» «She did,» he replied. «But where in the hell was I gonna find a fake Jeep?»...
25. Some of the myths about marriageTOP15.Some of the myths about marriage… Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. Their passion is heating up. Then the wife stops and says: «I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.» The husband says: «WHAT??» The wife explains that he must not be in tune with her emotional ... Читать далее...
26. Proffessional AcquantanceA well respected Doctor and his wife were having drinks in the lobby of the theater during the opening nite of a musical during intermission. A blonde shimmied by that had to have had what there was of her evening gown spray painted on her curvy body. She smiled and gushed, «Well, hello there Doc.» ... Читать далее...
27. A man says to his wifeA man says to his wife, «Get ready you, me & the dog are going fishing.» Wife says, «I dont want to go.» Man gives her 3 choices, fishing, blow job or take it up the a*se. Wife pick blow job. After she sucking for a while she says, «It tastes like sh*t. Man says, ... Читать далее...
28. Перевод слова youngYoung — молодой, юный Перевод слова Robust young man — здоровый крепкий юноша young fellow — молодой человек young idea — свежая идея A Young cat is a kitten. Маленькую кошку называют котенком. He looks Young for his age. Он выглядит молодо для своего возраста. The lioness fought to protect her Young. Львица дралась, чтобы ... Читать далее...
29. There was a husband and his wife sitting next to a drunkThere was a husband and his wife sitting next to a drunk in a bar. Suddenly the drunk stands up and yells, «ATTENTION ALL» and farts loudly. The wife is extremely embarrassed, and the husband looks at the drunk and says» Excuse me, you just farted before my wife.» The drunks replies,» I’m sorry I ... Читать далее...
30. Not that my wife is the jealous type or anything, but one day at workNot that my wife’s the jealous type or anything, but one day at work, I had taken this temp who was filling in for my secretary to lunch in gratitude for an outstanding job on a very difficult project. As luck would have it, there was my wife waiting in the office for my return. ... Читать далее...
31. Two young brothers, aged 5 and 6Two young brothers, aged 5 and 6, are listening through the keyhole as their older sister is getting it on with her new boyfriend. They hear her say, «Oh, Jim, you’re going where no man has gone before!» The six-year-old says to his brother, «He must be fucking her up the ass!»...
32. A man and wife entered aA man and wife entered a dentist’s office. The Wife said, «I want a tooth pulled. I don’t want gas or Novocain because I’m in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible.» You’re a brave woman said the dentist. Now, show me which tooth it is. The wife turns to her ... Читать далее...
33. A man took his wife to the doctorsA man took his wife to the doctors. After a short examination the doctor said «Your wife’s mind has completely gone!» To which the man replied «I’m not surprised. She’s been giving a piece of it to me every day for the past 25 years!»...
34. I was shopping at our local supermarketI was shopping at our local supermarket. When I got to the checkout line, there was a beautiful young blonde ahead of me. As she placed her groceries on the checkout stand, the bagger asked her, «Paper or plastic?» «It doesn’t matter,» she replied, «I’m bisacksual.»...
35. A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversaryA man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, «When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?» The husband replied, «All I wanted to do ... Читать далее...
36. A farmer and his wife were laying in bed one nightA farmer and his wife were laying in bed one night, the farmer feeling a little frisky, reaches over and gives his wife’s breast a little feel and says,»Mother, if this could give milk, we could get rid of the cow.» His hand then travels down to her crotch, and he says, «Mother, if this ... Читать далее...
37. A wife was berating her husbandA wife was berating her husband. He motioned for her to quiet down saying, «Don’t unleash the beast in me.» The wife snickered and replied, «Unlike a lot of women, ‘dear’, I’m not the least bit afraid of a mouse.»...
38. This fellow was screwing his best friend’s wife when heThis fellow was screwing his best friend’s wife when he suddenly stopped and sat on the edge of the bed, holding his head in his hands. «What the hell is your problem?» the lady asked. «I feel like a regular son of a bitch, getting my best friends pussy,» the man moaned. The lady reached ... Читать далее...
39. Two young girls were talking about their sex livesTwo young girls were talking about their sex lives when the first girl says, «Oh my god! , it was really great, but I was Sooo scared after his rubber broke. I didn’t get a good night’s sleep for a week.» «What happened.» Says her intrigued friend. «I didn’t know what I was going to ... Читать далее...
40. The young couple was engaged in a most affectionateThe young couple was engaged in a most affectionate embrace when there came the sound of a key in the front door. The young lady broke away at once, eyes wide with alarm. «Heavens,» she cried, «it’s my husband! Quick, jump out the window.» The young man, equally alarmed, made a quick step toward the ... Читать далее...